Emma Marie Forde is unschooling mom to two girls, Lily and Rosa. She’s also the founder of the website, rethinkingparenting.co.uk. Before having children, Emma was a clinical psychologist, a career that informed her choice to stay home with her own children and which eventually led her and her husband John to choose unschooling for their family.

This week, Emma and I have a great chat about David Howe’s book, Attachment across the Lifecourse: A Brief Introduction.

Quote of the Week

“Intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which a person’s life revolves, not only when he is an infant or toddler or a child but throughout his adolescence and his years of maturity as well, and on into old age. From these intimate attachments, a person draws his strength and enjoyment in life and, through what he contributes, he gives strength and enjoyment to others. These are matters about which current science and traditional wisdom are one.” ~ David Howe

Attachment across the Lifecourse: A Brief Introduction, by David Howe

The book is a fascinating journey into attachment theory. And not just in relation to young children, but how the attachment behaviours we develop play out over our lifetime, as well as how they can change if we choose to do the work to make sense of our previous experiences and learn to see situations from the perspectives of others.

Part 1 of the book looks at the key conceptual components of attachment theory, part 2 looks at the four main attachment patterns (secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized) and how they manifest at various stages over a lifetime, and part 3 looks at some of the questions and controversies that attachment theory has given rise to.

David Howe writes that, “Sensitively responsive parents who can tune into, and see the world from their child’s point of view are likely to have securely attached children.” And in turn that, “Securely attached children are the most likely to develop emotional intelligence, good social skills, and robust mental health.”

Emma and I chat about the value of developing secure attachment patterns with our children—meaning strong and connected relationships—and how they not only support the development of a child’s emotional health, but also create the safe and supportive environment in which their learning can thrive. It’s where the rubber of attachment meets the road of unschooling. That made sense in my head, at least.

Links to Things Mentioned in the Show

The book: Attachment across the Lifecourse: A Brief Introduction, by David Howe

Sandra Dodd’s unschooling nest

Pam’s talks, Time to Think and A Family of Individuals

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book: Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life

Kim Golding’s book, Creating Loving Attachments

Emma mentioned Theraplay

Emma’s website: Rethinking Parenting

Episode Transcript

Read the transcript here