For episodes 53 and 56, we celebrate Robert Jordan's Vision of the Future: a book without Perrin. We talk about Royal Gossip Girl, the Galad Worthiness Test, Fixing Berelain, and how Perrin spits in the face of Video Game Logic.

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Finally, over 100 episodes in, we've learned that maybe we should just listen to our listeners. For chapters 51 and 52, we rant about Hard Lines and the Romeo Nazi and discuss the David Beckham Sleeping Fetish and the Only Thing That Can Kill Sally.

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Can you believe you've listened to 100 episodes of this buffoonery? We can't! To celebrate, we asked our friends and listeners to talk about Wheel of Time, because they're funnier than us anyway. Discussion topics: Implausible Nynaeve AU, G-Brothers, Relephant, Cat Cooties Kazoo, and Ran or Land?

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Arguably the best part of this episode is the listener-submitted sign-off. (Thanks, Gavin!) That said, our coverage of ch. 48-50 does bring up discussion topics like the Montage-ologue, PhDs in Swords, Roofmistress Throw-Down, and Hozier's WoT Rewrite.

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For chapters 46-47, we couldn't talk about the Breaking of the White Tower without reviewing the Papal Schism, right? And hey, how come so many ding-dang buildings are breaking? Also up for discussion: U2 Stockholm Syndrome, Texan Seanchan, the Paradox of Queering, Logain's Later Days, and Man Batteries.

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In another trio of Perrin chapters (43-45), we pull ourselves together long enough to talk about Ladder-Looking Lads, Egg Mom, Himbo Solidarity, Big Bard Energy, and Horse Therapy. We also cast One Direction for, what, the ninth time?

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In this episode, which does technically cover the content of chapters 40-42, the unstoppable force of "Cats" met the immovable object of our hatred of Perrin. So while we barely talked about Wheel of Time, we do feel better, and that's what matters. Happy New Year.

Chapters 38 and 39 are holding us hostage. The demands for our safe return? Delete Carridin and Liandrin's Evil Girl Band. Tell us why Juilin is in the plot. Don't do a violence. And please, for the love of God, let all witchcraft trials be decided by sharks.

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To make up for our time off, here's an extra-long episode, half of which is about the books we read on vacation. The other half tackles topics like Flip-Floppiest Boy, Bullsh*t Bobby, Tall Stink Man, Himbo Gawyn, and Thom vs. the TSA. Chapters 36 and 37.

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For chapters 34 and 35, we discuss the Tarantino Return from Rhuidean, Yeet Punctuation, Rand's Mermaid Arms, Mat's Duolingo Owl Energy, and, of course, we figure out yet again how to fix Wheel of Time. (Hint: Weekend at Bernie's.)

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