everyday compassion with Henny Flynn

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A few years ago I started smiling at myself in the mirror...

The real story is what the smiling replaced.

This podcast shares my story of how I see myself - and how the stories we have grown up with influence how we see ourselves. It is also about how we can change - how we have a choice about what we think and what we choose to do.

You might find you engage with your mirror-self in any one of the ways I've listed below - and the ways may change, depending on your mood at the time, I know mine did (and if I'm honest, still do):

• Give yourself the most cursory glance and move swiftly on
• Avoid looking in mirrors at all
• Take every chance to look in a mirror, and then regret doing it
• Frown, gurn, scowl and deliberately make yourself look 'worse'
• Use the mirror as an opportunity to identify all the things that are 'wrong' with you
• Hiding in photos - or hating every photo you see of yourself

My own learning was this. We can all change our self-think. And while I know there are many facets to my own change journey, one step we can all take, straightaway, is surprisingly easy... smile.

I share the process I took myself through and how it has transformed the way I see myself.

I also reference the work of Louise Hay - after I had taken myself through my own process to identify and change how I was behaving toward myself, I discovered the work she had pioneered called 'mirror work'. It was a relief to know I was not alone in how I saw myself.

If you would like to work with me, to gently explore your own self-perception and sense of self-worth, then please do get in touch. I know how fundamental this shift was for me and I'm here if that is useful for you in your own journey https://www.reegroup.co.uk/contact

You can read more about my story of change here: https://www.reegroup.co.uk/about

Come and join The Reegroup Hour on Facebook.

The Reegroup Hour is an invitation t

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This week, we joined up with the wonderful Emmanuelle Passes to hear about ways we can manage our energy levels - and find the still point within.

This is a live event, sharing practical steps we can all take to support us in how we navigate our experience of the world. This work is especially beneficial if you've ever found yourself becoming anxious or weary, and can't always see what's impacting you.

Understanding what we can do to care for ourselves in times of disruption is useful at any stage of our lives. And it feels particularly resonant now, as we begin to emerge from the lockdown phase of COVID19.

We'll be specifically looking at the flow of energy (both that we receive from others and the world around us, and the energy we give out). With a core purpose to enable us all to access that still quiet point within, where we feel a greater sense of calm and balance.

Emmanuelle has a wealth of experience in a range of therapeutic practices. And for over 25 years, has run successful practices in London and Paris

She now lives on the beautiful island of Ibiza. Qualified in therapeutic massage, Indian head massage, Doula, Reiki, Yoga and “Unique Self” Life coach, her speciality and passion is CranioSacral therapy. She combines a holistic approach to the body, mind and spirit to harmonise, balance and re-align.

I first met Emmanuelle on retreat in Ibiza and since then have worked with her personally - benefiting from her healing CranioSacral therapy - and last year we collaborated with the lovely Abbie Lathe on a restorative weekend retreat in the UK.

The energy exercises she shares in the second half of this Reegroup Hour have been hugely beneficial to me personally - and her warmth, integrity and humanity is something I value deeply. 

To see the exercises demonstrated by Emmanuelle in the session, go to the The Reegroup Hour channel on YouTube or watch it on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/thereegrouphour/

And to request a copy of the worksheet that accompanies this podcast, email [email protected].

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This episode of The Reegroup Hour draws on a theme I've seen emerging for many people around working out what comes next, as we transition from one phase of lockdown into... whatever phase lies ahead.

I know I've been doing lots of planning myself over the past week or so - stepping back and reflecting and getting my thoughts in order. It's connected with last week's podcast about the gift of time, how we use it and how we choose to use it in the future.

In today's session, I cover some of the challenges we can face when we start making plans about the future - and how our mind can put things into our plans that may not truly serve us. I also cover off some practical tools you can use to help identify your vision and put down the milestones that you want to line way - without getting lost in the detail of the 'hows'.

Critically, as with all Reegroup work, this is about establishing a bedrock of self-care and self-compassion, to enable deep and lasting change. So when you're envisioning, planning, manifesting whatever comes next, weave that thread of self-care through all you do; quieten the voice of judgement and listen to the still calm voice within as your most valued guide.

Henny x

To receive a copy of the 7 Questions I use for stage one of my own planning process, email [email protected] or contact me on Reegroup.

And for more on techniques to get into your body (and out of your head!) have a listen to The Reegroup Hour with Abbie Lathe on how we can use our voice to step out of fear.

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The Gift of Time, how we seek it, but when we find it, we can end up filling it without thinking about what will most serve us.

In this episode of The Reegroup Hour, I look at how our time horizons have shifted with the impact of COVID19; how we can find ourselves stuffing time full (and hunting round for more) and how at times it can drag like wading through molasses - and how we can make choices about how we want to use time in the future.

I also share some key questions we can ask ourselves to help us work out what we want to do with our time. These feel particularly pertinent as we inhabit this liminal space in between the different phases of lockdown (whatever they look like for each of us).

If you'd like to take a look at the 7 questions I use for my own planning, just let me know and I'll send you a copy. It's a useful tool, designed to help step back from the act of 'doing' and spend time in reflecting on what it may be most useful to do next...

And if you'd like to join our next Reegroup Retreat, we're exploring Compassionate Resilience on June 20th. A half-day virtual retreat, in the comfort of your own home and in the company of other amazing women. It will be wonderful to welcome you there.

Henny x

SEND ME 7 QUESTIONS 

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You can see the Drama Triangle playing out in boardrooms, teams, family units, friendship groups - in fact, almost any situation where people come together. You can also see it playing out in the way we relate to ourselves.

The rescuer says... let me help e.g.: "I have the quick fix, I know best, you can't manage without me."

The victim says... nothing's going right e.g.: "Poor me, others always get more, no one values me, it's easier for 'them'."

The persecutor says... you don't get to decide e.g.: "You don't know anything, you're a fool, you never do it right."

These roles: persecutor, rescuer, victim - they're what we adopt when things start to go wrong... whenever there's any kind of drama. And they interplay with each other in a way that reinforces the behaviour of others, until we all just get stuck. We just keep climbing into the same old hamster wheel every time something goes wrong.

So how do we move on?

In this Reegroup Hour, I share how we can step out of the Drama Triangle roles we unconsciously assign ourselves. And how by stepping into a place where we see ourselves and others through the lens of compassion, we can create more beneficial outcomes.

There is often a complexity to these roles - and if there is anything that it raises for you, that you would like to explore further, please do get in touch. The Drama Triangle can shine a light on continuous patterns of behaviour that may have trapped us in the past. Once we notice these, we can then decide what new behaviours we choose in their place.

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Sometimes when we talk with others it can feel like we're playing the same game... but by different rules.

Have you ever been halfway through a conversation and suddenly realised it’s heading into an argument, and you’re not sure how it got there?

Or suddenly realised that you and the other person have actually been at crossed-purposes - but by that point emotions have risen and it’s hard to back down?

Or perhaps you both think the other one is being unreasonable?

Maybe things start quite innocuously and then it cascades into a something that neither of you seem capable of stopping once it gets its momentum up?

I started to think of these moments as WEIRD TENNIS.

And the podcast today is all about what it is, what it tells us and what steps we can take to call time on the game - or maybe even avoid picking up the racquets entirely.

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everyday ♡ compassion
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This week, we join up with the lovely Gemma Sandwell to see how mindfulness with kindfulness helps us access and grow our resilience. 

I first met Gemma a few years ago, not in person but over the speaker in a large auditorium in the centre of the city in London - she was leading a Resilience Shot for a group of financial services leaders - a short mindfulness exercise, introducing the art of focussing on the present moment, to help build resilience.

So, who could be better placed to talk to us today about how mindfulness helps us build resilience?!

The next time I met Gemma, we were both coaching leadership teams and happened to have been put into joining rooms - that conversation is what led to me realising how lovely she is & I’m so delighted to welcome her onto the podcast.

Gemma is a Mindfulness Teacher, Positive Psychology Practitioner, ICF accredited coach and TEDx speaker. She's been on a journey of personal self-discovery through these tools and they lead her to setting up the Happiness Branch, helping people to flourish. 

Gemma uses the practice of mindfulness combined with Positive Psychology. She sees them as core tools to help you be at your best and perform at your best, building on what works for you already, in a non-judgemental way, decreasing stress and anxiety.

In this session, you'll hear more of the work Gemma does and why it's so beneficial - and you'll be led through a beautiful mindful meditation, which almost relaxed me so much that I couldn't complete the recording!

At the end of the session I share a wonderful piece of film I first came across a few years ago, when on retreat with Soulshine. A recording of Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues, talking about the importance of Loving Your Tree. When you hear Gemma's session, you'll understand why it resonated. I've included a link to it below - I think you'll enjoy it!

I hope you enjoy this recording - you can watch or listen to it as a podcast, links below. To find out more about Gemma, take a look at The Happiness Branch.

This podcast was recorded with a live audience on Sunday May 3rd 2020. Sign

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This week, we've joined up for the second time with the wonderful Abbie Lathe to see how using our voice helps us access and grow our resilience. 

Following the wonderful feedback from our last session with Abbie, we're teaming up with her once more for another practical voicework session.

This session builds on the tools shared on Sunday 12 April, 2020, so do have a listen to that one too. In it, I look at some of the theory behind what we can do, from a psychotherapeutic perspective, to support ourselves in building our resilience.

On this recording, with a live audience, Abbie and I share more tools we can all use now - and in the future. In fact, any time we need to access that core centre of resilience we all have available to us.

Abbie is a singer / songwriter with over 35 years’ experience performing in bands, session singing for BBC wildlife programmes and teaching the many facets of voicework. 

Her enthusiasm and joy is infectious and with her expert and intuitive guidance this powerful but simple voicework harmonises body and mind bringing each individual to a place of deep inner confidence in oneself, with others and with life.

To join future live recordings of The Reegroup Hour, simply book your space at the events you'd like to join - they're gifts from me to you.

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PART ONE of a series of podcasts on how we can access, understand and grow our RESILIENCE, with compassion, to support us in times of change.

PART ONE of a series on how we can access, understand and grow our RESILIENCE, with compassion, to support us in times of change.

Over the next three weeks, we'll look at different tools we can use to develop our resilience, taking lessons from psychotherapy, voicework and mindfulness and hearing from other teachers along the way.

In this session, I share ten key traits and behaviours identified as being CORE to RESILIENCE - that we can all explore in order to understand what they mean to us and where it may serve us to pay some compassionate attention.

And if you’re interested in delving into these further, I've created a mini-course all about resilience to explore your thinking even further. It's a gift from me to you - see the link in the site footer.

In this session, I also introduce a super simple tool that can be immensely useful in times of change - it’s something you may well be familiar with, so this could be simply a handy reminder of something you already have in your toolkit.

The teachers I reference are:

• Kristin Neff - the queen of compassion
• Brene Brown - the queen of vulnerability
• Steven Covey - author of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People

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A piece of quiet
Your weekly pause - a calming relaxation practice, every Wednesday. A few minutes to settle, a few minutes to write. First aid for the soul.
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...

Tap to send me your reflections ♡

This week, we joined up with the wonderful Abbie Lathe to see how using our voice helps us deal with fear. 

This was a practical session, sharing tools we can all use now - and in the future. In fact, any time we are nervous, anxious or afraid. 

Abbie is singer / songwriter with over 35 years’ experience performing in bands, session singing for BBC wildlife programmes and teaching the many facets of voicework.Abbie’s enthusiasm and joy is infectious and with her expert and intuitive guidance this powerful but simple voicework harmonises body and mind bringing each individual to a place of deep inner confidence in oneself, with others and with life.

During the session she introduced a voicework meditation, on how to come into our bodies (and out of our heads!), a metta to sing and practice the art of Loving Kindness, and shared a wonderfully easy approach to calming our nervous system by using just three breaths.

This podcast was recorded with a live audience on Sunday 5th April 2020.

"Thank you SO much for yesterday's hour of peace and calm. It was the most beautiful time and left me feeling so much better in myself, ready to face anything.""I feel there is such potential to learn here, building on what’s known, to feeling, sensing and singing it. As a body worker and therapist I understand that these themes are at the core of human experience, creating blocks if unattended... I found seeing you both, your loving, genuine enquiry into the nature of fear, your humour and support, very uplifting indeed." 

Support the show

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A piece of quiet
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everyday ♡ compassion
Tiny reminders of self-love and presence, delivered three times a week.
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Free Events & Small Group Courses
Explore the power of Flow Journaling, self-compassion and gentle change in a supportive space.
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Solo Retreats at Bach Brook
Rest, reflect and reconnect – fully supported in a place of deep natural beauty.
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Books, Journaling Resources & Self-paced Courses
Explore tools for inner connection and compassionate growth.
Visit the library

Free 20-minute Call
Explore whether coaching could support what’s calling for change.
...