While Keri was off stalking Bryan Ferry, Peter and Matthew discussed entering The Archers witness protection program, putting the residents of Ambridge on trial, happy school days and the tenuous return of THAT jingle.

What? You want Archers stuff? Ok... 

• Anti-Window Coalition: This payne in the arse storyline continues to stain our eardrums. 

• Eddie and Clarrie go all Tommy and Pammy: The Grundys get fleeced mid-date night. 

• Grand Russ Casino: Lily learns the price of genius.

• Midwife crisis: Chelsea gets her calendar out while Tracy carries the load. 

• Emma AND Jim in the same episode: We're well having that.

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