Inside Bipolar

Fear of Relapse? Navigating the Lingering Shadows of Bipolar Disorder


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This episode delves into the often-overlooked aftermath of living with bipolar disorder, even after achieving stability. Gabe, who lives with bipolar, shares his personal experiences of lingering fears, the trauma of past depressive episodes, and the constant self-monitoring that comes with managing his illness.

Dr. Nicole explores the delicate balance between responsibility and self-compassion, and how trauma, even if not officially recognized as such, can profoundly alter one’s life. They discuss the concept of post-traumatic growth, the importance of individualized coping strategies, and how to navigate the thin line between symptom and emotion.

This episode offers hope and practical advice for those grappling with the long-term mental fallout of living with bipolar disorder.

Many people with bipolar disorder are not worried about mania coming back because we've romanticized it and we remember it so fondly. But many of us with bipolar disorder are terrified of depression coming back because we're afraid of it. The reality is, I never worry about winning the lottery, because if it happens, I'm just going to be so happy. But I do worry about running out of money. So, I'm not worried about a sudden influx of cash, but I'm terrified of not having enough cash.”  ~Gabe Howard


To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.


Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.


Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

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Inside BipolarBy Gabe Howard

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