Rachael, a trauma therapist and today's storyteller, describes how her early childhood abuse was buried by the protective mechanism of dissociative amnesia.  As Rachael wrote to Dr. H, “The only way I could continue to live, with no way out, with no one to tell, with no words even to describe what was happening to me, was to forget what was happening to me….when our minds forget, our bodies remember.”

Rachael saved herself by forgetting, then was forced to finally face what happened to her when her body carried out its ultimate rebellion in the context of having her third child, her first girl….a little baby girl, with no one to protect her….or at least that’s what the terrible and unrelenting obsessions began to say.

Support the show! 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support

Rachael Parsons Svendsen

https://www.rachaelsvendsen.com/

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA 

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

This story is a mirror to Elizabeth’s story from season 1 episode 1. Today’s storyteller Sarah was so moved by Elizabeth’s story that it helped her to trust Dr. H's recommendation to take a pretty scary medication, the extremely powerful antipsychotic and mood stabilizer called clozapine. 

So why tell this story again? As they say, history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does often rhyme, and Sarah’s story rhymes beautifully with Elizabeth’s. Both had severe and treatment resistant bipolar 1 disorder, formerly known as manic-depression. Both tried all the meds, did all the things, then eventually reached a point of utter hopelessness and despair….and then they had to trust Dr. H enough to try one more thing.

Support the show! 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA 

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

In today’s story we explore what it’s like to be on the autistic spectrum, and more specifically, how a later life diagnosis can totally change the way you view the world and yourself. Aurelie, our storyteller today,  was an autism expert, a clinical psychologist who had trained with some of the premier autism experts in the country…yet she didn’t discover her own autism until she was 40 years old. 

This episode explores why women on the spectrum are so often missed, how women on the autistic spectrum are so often masters of masking, which means imitating the mannerisms and behaviors of neurotypical people, thus allowing them to both fit in and also to be left hiding in plain sight. 

Support the show! 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support

Dr. Aurelie Welterlin

https://www.ncawag.net/our-team/dr-aurelie-welterlin

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA 

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

How do you rebuild trust amidst the ashes of trauma? This is the story of Sean, an up and coming star tennis player whose coach carefully selected him and then groomed him for years of sexual assault. His trust destroyed, Sean had to find a way to try to trust again…..and after many years of hiding and pretending and near self-destruction, Sean finally was able to share the details of what happened to him. Thus began his therapeutic journey of finding compassion for himself and trust toward others…with the guidance of his two devoted therapists and the assistance of MDMA.

Support the show! 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA 

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

In this fourth annual summer psychedelic special, Dr. H sits down to hear some hard-earned wisdom from a therapist colleague who has been doing underground MDMA and psilocybin work for years.

Support the show! 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA 

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

Chris and Craig invite Antonio Sacre, an LA-based professional storyteller, author, and BFTA super-advisor into the Fishbowl to deconstruct season 6.

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

Support the show

Craig sits down with his mentee and colleague Mandy Bliss, a psychiatric NP in Louisville KY,  to explore the compelling and complex challenges of meeting the ever-expanding need for psychiatric care. Unlike in psychiatric residencies, much of the current training of psychiatric NPs is done online. Does this constitute adequate training? And what of psychotherapy?

Mandy Bliss MSN, APRN, FNP-BC, PMHNP-BC

https://blisspsych.com/

BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page

https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

Support the show

Craig sits down with Colorado-based psychotherapist and Enneagram expert Joy Gribble (Elemental Psychedelics; Reflective Healing) to explore how the Enneagram can predict the strengths, fears, and blind spots of both the therapist and the client/patient in the complex dynamics of therapy.

Joy Gribble 

https://www.reflectivehealing.com/about-joy-gribble-fort-collins

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/

BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast
https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/

BFTA/ Dr. H
https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

Here Dr. H sits down with Lisa, a pediatric nurse practitioner, to witness her story of developmental trauma, concomitant chronic depression, and eventually her path of healing and rebuilding trust and connection, largely through psychotherapy.  During her years of intermittently crippling and suicidal depression, she was put on various psych meds, which might have helped at the time, but later became shockingly difficult to try to taper and stop. This is a story of overcoming shame, a story that looks at the question of whether people need meds for life….and it turns out, surprise surprise, that what’s causing or driving depression actually really matters….and when that’s a Mom wound, most psych meds are really just acting as flimsy bandages.

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom-tickets-1112117516429?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast
https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/

BFTA/ Dr. H
https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show

Craig sits down with Colorado-based equine and somatic therapist Koelle Simpson to witness her harrowing and moving story of healing from repeated sexual assaults through a deep psychospiritual connection with horses, then learning how to trust her male psychotherapist, and finally coming to face the darkness and shame head on through the use of psilocybin mushrooms.

A heads up-- this episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual assault, please be mindful of whether this is the right time for you to hear this.

Koelle Simpson

https://koellesimpson.com/

"I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?"  A intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom-tickets-1112117516429?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast
https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/

BFTA/ Dr. H
https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Support the show