Jonathan Merritt was a pastor’s son destined to preach — until he was publicly outed online and his life imploded. When faith, identity, and ambition collide — what do you do? Jonathan knows that question intimately. But through the wreckage came clarity, courage, and an entirely new way of living. In this candid episode, Jonathan tells Maryam how losing community, career, and certainty opened the door to authenticity, spirituality, and a renewed sense of purpose. Whether you’re navigating a career change, questioning what you believe, or trying to rebuild after loss, Jonathan’s story offers hope that healing starts with honesty — and that being messy is part of becoming whole.

Key Moments

00:01:45 – Growing Up in a Mega Church World 🙏
Jonathan shares what it was like being the child of a famous Southern Baptist pastor — living under constant pressure to appear “perfect.”

00:03:45 – Always Knew I Was Different 🌈
Jonathan opens up about knowing from childhood that he was “different” — and how that difference was seen as dangerous in his community.

00:10:15 – The High of Being Seen 👀
Jonathan describes his early writing success and the addictive rush of external validation — and how it left him feeling empty.

00:13:30 – Feeling Trapped in My Own Life 🌀
He shares how fear, faith, and career expectations left him feeling stuck — and how that became a lifelong trigger for anxiety.

00:17:00 – Preaching What I Didn’t Believe 💔
Jonathan confesses that he preached sermons he no longer believed, torn between loyalty to his community and honesty with himself. He wonders what he really wants to do with his life, and how he might find the courage to make a change.

00:21:00 – Outed — and Everything Changed ⚡️
The moment that shattered everything: Jonathan is publicly outed by someone he considered a friend, and forced to confront his family, his church, and his identity. Standing before thousands, he tells his truth — learning that vulnerability can invite compassion, not condemnation.

00:27:45 – Courage Takes Time ✨
Jonathan gathers the courage to make the biggest change yet: he sells everything and moves to New York to pursue his writing career, a leap of faith that begins his rebirth and new life in alignment.

00:34:00 – Finding Light in the Darkness
Jonathan draws on his spiritual roots, explaining how there is always light in the darkness, and how this mindset can keep anyone from falling into a pit of despair — even through the hardest times.

00:45:45 – Messy Is the New Strong 💫
Jonathan reflects on why he trusts “messy” more than “perfect” — and how real strength comes from embracing imperfection and truth.

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