fiving: an enneagram 5 in progress

Meandering thoughts—on a meandering walk—on one of my growth edges and the attainability of my goal of financial independence; seeing parallels/metaphors in the natural world. 

Let me know what resonates.  

🌸   

Background photo by me, Monica, the day of editing  

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan

Instagram: @un.fiving

monicabahan.com

We all yearn to go back sometimes, to when things were good, to when we felt better, to before the loss. We can’t go back. But, if we listen, the yearning can show us the way forward. 

I give a few examples of yearning to go back and explore how our fear and loss can point to what we value, what we’re wanting—giving us direction for opening, healing, growing, and connecting. 

I also give a quick update on the personal themes from Episode 6. 

Mentioned today: 

Long exhales 

♥️⚡️🧠 Lisa Dion, founder of Synergetic Play Therapy

You have a right to your wound, and to your healing. 

Let me know what resonates.  

🌸   

Background photo by me, Monica, the day before recording  

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan 

Listen pretty much anywhere you find podcasts (delayed release on some platforms, so be patient or check elsewhere)

Accompanying photos on Instagram: @un.fiving 

monicabahan.com

I’m approaching dating as a single/solo mom, first conceptually and then in real time (maybe). I have a strong sense that decluttering has to come first—internal and external decluttering, clearing, organizing, and arranging to achieve harmony and carry less baggage. But can dating and decluttering happen simultaneously? I need help. 

Mentioned today: 

🧠 ♥️🌟 EMDR therapy: stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s super cool, super effective, and a starting place for so much more interaction between neuroscience, intuition, therapy, and healing. 

Let me know what resonates.  

🌸   

Background photo by me, Monica, the first day of recording  

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan  

Accompanying photos on Instagram: @un.fiving 

monicabahan.com

I talk about how I see the enneagram of personality—that we become our type through an interaction of our innate personality and early life experience, and that it’s all about where we get stuck and how to get unstuck; the difference in perspective between the right and left hemispheres of the brain; and the mind in human design. And then I tell a story from my own life—Mother’s Day 2021—that illustrates how these different perspectives came together as I made a major life decision. 

Resources mentioned: 

🧠 Neuroscience of the two hemispheres: Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED Talk: My stroke of insight & her book "My Stroke of Insight" 

🧠 (A seminal book about the hemispheres: Iain McGilchrist's “The Master and His Emissary”) 

💫 Go get your human design chart at Jovian Archive. 

Let me know what resonates.  

🌸   

Background photo by me, Monica, the day after recording  

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan  

Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving 

monicabahan.com

Accuracy in language is especially important for we sensitive folk (and maybe even more so for wee sensitive folk ☺️). Pay attention to the words you use, both with yourself and others, and get to know your personal lexicon. Words move you, so choose language that gets you where you want to go. If it lights you up, go there.   

When we rely too heavily on the common language of the culture and neglect to form or attend to our own unique lexicons, we limit our imagination and souls’ expression to the narrow frame of cultural consensus. (Blech)   

Language forms, informs, moves, matters—your words shape your reality. Choose wisely.  And playfully.   

I give you five examples of words/terms and how I like to use them, for now: 1. foresting // getting into the trees, 2. fiving, 3. tinny, 4. tight, 5. noisy.   

Let me know what resonates.  

🌸   

Background photo by Jean: me (Monica) and my daughter the day of recording   

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan  

Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving - instagram.com/un.fiving  

monicabahan.com

I felt disoriented and uprooted this week, so I sat by the river and came back to myself. I remembered that my mission with this podcast is exploration in the spirit of freedom and generosity. That clarity brought excitement and inspiration with it, particularly around unpacking language and bits of language that catch my attention—words, phrases, types of words, ways of speaking. Just introducing that mini project today, not diving in yet; I plan to include a series of episodes or segments in that vein, which I’m calling Open Language.   

Let me know what resonates.  

🌸   

Background photo taken by me, Monica Bahan, the day of recording   

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan  

Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving 

monicabahan.com

This is all so new to me! 😬 In the course of recording and preparing this episode, I’ve felt excited, nervous, doubtful, brave, trusting, clear, resonant, free, expansive, exhilarated, delighted, terrified, ashamed, lonely, hopeful, connected, grateful, centered, curious, optimistic, motivated, and inspired.   

I talk a little about all that. I reflect on my experience of shifting out of my comfort zone, into challenge, and tripping over into overwhelm—feeling the spins of disorientation, being in unknown waters, and the existential fears that tag along—and a few practices I used to reorient and mosey back into the challenge zone (with several necessary dips into grounding/comfort and connection that I might not have mentioned out loud: cozy socks, long exhales, celebration chocolate, a neighborhood walk, communing with trees, watching clouds, oodles of time with my little one, a hot shower, et cetera).   

Refocusing practices  

🌿  Naming the fears—the internal feelings, senses, and imagined scenarios that I experienced in overwhelm—first to myself to define the shape of the fears and get some distance, and then to trusted others to get more distance, perspective, and support, and to practice being present, honest, vulnerable, and trusting (unfiving).   

🌿  Reframing. These fears are coming up because I’m doing something new and they’re trying to keep me safe (in my comfort zone).   

🌿  Considering what it would mean to me if I gave into the fears. It would go against my values. It would keep me small. No thanks.   

🌿  Reconnecting with my motivation to grow and challenge myself by doing this new thing. I’m doing this to become more myself, to be free, to let life flow through me, to be generous, to connect, to expand, to help others live more fully, to be a better role model for my daughter. Big motivation.  (Take that, Fear! 💥  Just kidding—I appreciate you trying to keep me safe, aaand now is not your time to lead. You can have a seat over there. 👉 )   

Check out the Instagram for diagrams I made of the comfort-challenge-overwhelm relationship. This image can remind me to get myself into my comfort zone lickety-split when I find myself deep in the realm of overwhelm or veering toward when I get swept up in mental processing.   

✨ Use what moves you, let go of the rest. And let me know what resonates.✨   

🌸   

Background photo taken by me, Monica Bahan, the day of recording   

Music by Sleeping At Last   

Production by me, Monica Bahan   

Accompanying photos and diagrams on Instagram @un.fiving

monicabahan.com

Hellooo! Welcome! My name is Monica, and I’m a self-preservation 5w4 in the enneagram of personality. I’m clearing out internal clutter and stepping out of my cave of self-limitation, sharing reflections and wisdom nuggets along the way. With plenty of mixed metaphors and minimal editing—by intention aaand necessity. Who’s coming with me?  

🌸  

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan  

Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving

monicabahan.com