My hypothesis is that if we deliberately put humility back into the system, we do two things. One, we take away the natural conflicting element of the therapeutic process, the natural elements of conflict. There are two humans. There are two egos. They're in a room, and because of the context, it becomes like tennis. It becomes like boxing. It becomes like some competitive sport.

 Nobody means for it to be that way. It's just that, whether you're the coach or the therapist or the client in this scenario, the dumb shaved monkeys that we are, we kind of lean towards playing dominance games, whether we want to or not. That's just the way it goes.

 So before you know it, you're playing ping pong over your depression, you're playing tennis over your anxiety. You're in a boxing match with your coach, with your therapist, over the dynamics of the grieving process, or whether you're doing the right kind of work to help you to grieve for the death and the loss of your last relationship, as an example of a common thing that people would see a coach or counselor for.

 So number one, the humility takes away from that dynamic. It reminds us consciously and with intent, "Look, this is just a conversation between two adults. It's not surgery. I'm not under general anesthetic. Nobody can cut the anxiety out of me." So it kind of reminds us that it's like a Socratic process. It's like philosophy. In fact, we already know it's known that you can trace the roots of psychology back to philosophy.

 But this dynamic of two people talking, I mean is that not the essence of a philosophical method? Is that not like the Socratic method? You're basically debating with the hope that you're going to have a positive outcome. So as well as taking away from this ego versus ego fight, it also reminds us that this is not magic and this is just a conversation between two consenting adults, where it is presumed that we have the same goal in mind, which is to feel better at the end of it. Right?

 The second thing that I think bringing this level of humility in is, it kind of moves the ego out of the way, and when I say ego in this context, obviously it is implicit. I'm not talking about the healthy ego. I'm talking about that side of the self that clings to dominance, that wants to be right, that wants to be in charge, that wants to be in control, that secretly loathes the therapeutic process, secretly loathes the humbling of having to come and ask another adult for help, where the part of life that the ego, one part of the ego is going to be going, "You should be able to do that."

 And if we remind ourselves of our Sanskrit, that side of the ego is the ah Hum kaya. In Sanskrit, it was the ahamkara It is the ahamkara  spoken of in Hinduism and Buddhism. That's the ego that we don't want.

(00:37) Ego Based Issues in the Therapeutic Relationship

(01:07) Humility Necessary for Change

(02:02) Asking for Help

(02:45) Step by Step Advice for Clients/therapists to Integrate Humility

(04:07) How Does It Make You Feel to Ask for Help With the Issue?

(04:32) My Hypothesis on How Putting Humility Back Into the System Accelerates Therapeutic Progress

(05:59) Consciousness and Intent

(07:28) Secret Hating of Therapy as Its Humiliating

(09:43) The Thai Buddhist Monk as Therapist

(12:08) Purifying the Intent of the Therapeutic Relationship

(13:22) Guilt of People Leaving Narcissistic Cults

(14:23) Running From Love for Fear of Vulnerability

(14:59) Necessity of That Vulnerability and Rapport for Therapy to Work

(15:39) Key Technique to Move Beyond Apparent Self Sabotage

(16:28) Integrating the Ideas in This Video Into Therapy

To join the new trauma recovery list click here https://forms.aweber.com/form/27/353806527.htm

Have you ever felt stuck in a problematic situation?

Have you felt limited in your options, like there are no other ways to see things?

That was your Reality Tunnel for the time.

This concept was first coined by Timothy Leary and later picked up by Robert Anton Wilson.

In this episode you'll discover it can be used to your advantage.

Here is a simple exercise, that can make you realize a lot of new things about you and your life.

Our values play a huge role in our lives, it's useful to decide on a handful, most important ones to us.

Law of Attraction has become kind of a big thing over the last years.

It's very empowering and attractive concept.

Yet, should we believe EVERYTHING it promises?

In this episode we discuss the hidden dangers that might be lurking in the concepts like Law of Attraction.

If you feel like you might be ready to go beyond LOA, you'll love this episode. Listen right now!

Richard's last bit on LOA referenced: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Lt51FPammgF2YuQ1tQHru?si=QbRjqIYHSua8Hb7PKb8OXQ

Available for coaching:

[email protected]

[email protected]

About accountability group: https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com

(00:57) Announcing the Accountability Group

(01:40) Recommending Terry and Steve for Coaching

(02:26) Disclaimer Before Going Into the Topic

(04:40) Amazon as a Law of Attraction & The Magick of Money 

(07:04) The Invisible Ideology Behind Law of Attraction

(10:31) Rationality Test of LOA

(13:17) Is It Good to Want Things?

(20:32) Religiosity, Dogma and Narcissism Link

(23:41) The Enemy is Absolutism and Certainty

//Q&A Section//

(25:23) "Creative visualisation by Shakti Gawain vs. LOA?" (+ on synchronicity)

(28:58) "About your experience and why you started the channel after meeting a Sufi, do you think having dreams every day and taking this path was by chance?"

(32:53) "I haven't got dreams since, I think I broke my head"

(34:23) "When this 30 day accountability group thing might be happening?"

(38:02) "What is going on with the book?"

(39:39) "Emotionally disregulated people throwing their stress out there"

(40:43) "Do you like to eat a raw garlic?"

(42:17) "Have you seen or heard people talking about not having any internal dialogue?"

(43:43) "Any favourite books on self-discipline?"

(44:04) "Seems ancient people thought an idea was the voice of god, and didn't know deep though thinking, it was a trance"

(45:55) About people not having internal dialogue again

(47:05) "Are inverted narcissists extreme codependents with narcissistic tendencies or other way around?"

(49:15) "Your thoughts about Aleister Crowley?"

(53:02) "I worked as a nanny for many years and I know loads of these types" (the naughty boy archetype)

(54:36) "Do you think childhood trauma like circumcision can create narcissistic personality disorder?"

(55:25) "What would you say to someone who says nobody can make you feel a certain way?"

(56:08) "What's your view on though-forms? Been targeted for years with negative psychically attacking energies"

(57:00) Initiates Need to Resolve Their Childhood Trauma

(58:37) Lament of Hermes & Religion/Discipline/Spirituality

(1:08:08) "We keep biting the apple" (Kallisti reference)

(1:09:17) What's the Best Thing in the World?

Jaqui Sansom works with parents to create a secure family to live in.

Jaqui has been a family and child protection lawyer for 20 years.

For more information on her work please visit her website:

https://www.powerless2powerfulparenting.com/about

(00:00) Getting started

((1:08) Is narcissism trait or a disorder?

(03:41) Can you experience trauma beyond the childhood?

(06:43) Is narcissism a scale? How does it work?

(09:00) The signs of narcissism in co-parenting

(10:33) Is it possible for a child to develop narcissistic traits?

(11:38) Children copying their parents

(12:35) Is it possible to balance narcissistic tendencies of a partner, to prevent the relationship negatively impacting the child?

(15:13) Managing contact with narcissistic co-parent in a boundaried way

(17:43) Is it possible to ameliorate the contact?

(21:00) You need a fundamental change if you want to defend yourself

(22:54) Facing the (ugly) reality is empowering

(24:42) As a non-narcissistic parent, do we overcompensate to balance narcissism?

(27:32) Even narcissistic parents can love their children, right?

(29:46) Every NPD's relationship is destined to fall

(30:59) What are the different family dynamics in a narcissistic unit? (golden child & scapegoat)

(35:36) On trauma bonding & dependency

(40:59) Cultural conditioning to bond with a romantic partner

(42:40) Does the narcissists ever recognize their behaviour?

(45:09) Goodbye

An extensive Q&A Live Session focused on the issue of codependency.

-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ

-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to codependency and people pleasing.

(00:03) Getting started

(01:27) Is it possible to act codependently towards the old, bad programming itself?

(02:00) What should we do if we find ourselves keeping quiet to avoid arguments?

(02:25) Why do we keep staying in toxic relationship even when we recognize it?

(03:01) Can you include techniques for when you are still in a bad relationship and trying to leave?

(04:41) Why when we escape toxic people, we start to feel sorry for them despite of everything they have done to us?

(05:39) Is it possible to get the course with German subtitle?

(06:14) What steps does one take to redirect the programming toward a more positive programming?

(07:02) About codependent how to helping others and not be addicted to it?

(07:28) I am still seeing someone now but still have guilt feelings. Will this course help?

(07:54) Is constant distrust in relationships an emotional flashback or a form of fawn response?

(09:45) How do you differentiate between codependency vs. attachment trauma/parentification?

(11:52) Does codependency exist by itself as a stand-alone issue or is it always a part of a larger issue?

(15:24) Is there a 'happy baby' archetype after recovering from codependency?

(16:21) Can there be people with narcissistic traits and CPTSD or should they be considered NPD's?

(20:11) Narcissism is Manifestation of CPTSD, Not It's Opposite

(33:34) The term codependency always feels elusive to me, what the eff is it exactly?

(37:50) Should abandonment issues be treated similarly or the same as codependency?

(39:08) Does an NPD always try to keep you in a nervous disposition with their drama?

A seminar focusing on the topic of codependency, both in relationships and our entire life.

Many interesting areas have been covered, that also include Q&A.

-> The Summoning the Self course is out now https://spartanlifecoach-com.mykajabi.com/offers/6LTjhmzZ

-> This is a brand-new course (as of August 2020) dealing with issues related to CODEPENDENCY and people pleasing.

(00:58) We Need Neuroplasticity to Make a Lasting Change

(03:11) Marks Left by the Stressed Parents & a Master-slave Dynamic

(08:04) It's Challenging for the Ego to Admit That We're Traumatized

(10:42) The One Piece of Source Code That Ruins the Relationships

(11:52) Fear of Abandonment and the Origins of the Fear of Negative Emotions

(15:15) What Does Fawning Mean?

(17:30) Everybody's an Avatar, Trauma Bonding & Intensity of the Relationship

(21:39) Why is the Sex So Good?

(22:39) Moving Towards the True Self

(24:33) Being Aware of Our Fawning

(26:42) I'll Do Me, You Do You Concept for Codependents

(28:11) Is Boundried Helping for Social Workers Possible & the Reality of Social/service Work

(32:03) Richard's Personal Example of Codependency & Unconscious Positive Intents

(33:34) Are Addictions Related to Unresolved Trauma in a Person?

(34:53) Is Codependency an Addiction, if So, Can You Be Free From It? (Conditioning vs. Addiction)

(39:04) Would You Ironically Start Helping the Narcissist if You Start Playing "the Game"

(40:33) How Can You Manage Your Relationship With a Narcissist?

(41:58) Different Cultural Coordinates & Narcissism/Codependency in Relationships

(46:56) Is There a Link Between Autism and NPD?

(50:07) Are People More Mentally Ill Than They Were 50 Years Ago?

(52:44) Why Can't I Condemn My Narcissistic Girlfriend? Why Do I Pull Away Instead?

(55:58) Saying "The Narcissist" Instead of "My Narcissist"

It is a known fact that social media have been deliberately crafted in a certain, not-so-good for our mental wellbeing, way.

Empower yourself with more awareness about this problem now.

Interview with Sam Vaknin: the TRUE toxicity of social media revealed 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmXcjvL9VSc

Watch our documentary on the hidden toxicity of social media now

http://bit.ly/pluggedindocumentary

Human will has always been with us.

It cannot perish, yet it has been suppressed over the years.

What is this force that can lead you to your highest potential?

If you want to be more driven and alive, you might enjoy this episode.

(00:00) The Concept of Human Will

(04:16) It's Very Hard to Deliver Powerful Material That is Almost Impossible to Misinterpret

(06:40) If You Want to Enslave a Lot of People, You Might Want to Make the Concept of Will Unpopular Part 1

(10:25) If You Want to Enslave a Lot of People, You Might Want to Make the Concept of Will Unpopular Part 2

(13:50) Apathy, Indifference and Irony Instead of Will and Individualism

(19:26) Shamelessness is Not Good Also

(24:24) We're Losing Our Social Contracts Now

(30:17) Goodbye

It's worth exhausting all the methods before you try the pharmaceutical solution for depression.

In this episode I present my short take on the problem of depression.

Hopefully some of that will come useful for you.

(00:12) The Major Myth of Chemical Imbalance

(02:02) Living a Life That is Depressing

(02:57) The Need for Progress

(03:39) The Health Aspects

(05:02) Your Mind and Body Needs to Be Disciplined

(07:47) Anger Repression & Psychosomatic Symptoms