Fixers, Inc.

Ben told a very good joke about off-brand mall pizza and it landed perfectly. It needed no explanation and really set the tone for the episode. Yessir.

 

Episode ingredients: The Divorce Carnival, We S’bologize, real life Otis man, Bertramerch, Sin Your Way Down to Goose, From China With Love, Deer Paper, Is This Mouse Gonna Bite Me?, The Hit List - S’barro, and Pac-manning

A brief message from Chris, Ben, and Virtual Dave goes off the rails a little.

Welcome, one and all, to the First Annual Fixers Inc. Pencil-Breaking Stunt Spectacular! A word of warning to those in the first few rows: you will get splinters.

 

Episode ingredients: Batman Strip Club, pencil Stunt Spectacular, The Latest Star War, No Roaching!, Chris Bought A Ham Radio, The Bad Dream Before Yule, Dracula Deadbeat and Loving It, Am Occopus in Stone Age?

Excuse me, could I have a FiMi of your time to talk about our LoSa JeChri? We invent a new word for the two week span, since THAT video game ruined the word we used to use. Thanks a whole bunch, THAT video game...

 

Episode ingredients: The HaMo, a Schmeckle of Bravingtons, the Buick LeDave, Alfalfa Colicchio, Get Off My Elevator - Mel-O’s and Savory Pop Tarts, Which Names Are Dead, and 5 Minute D&D

So, we recorded this a few months back when Dave got sucked into a time vortex. Since Dave was out of the office again this week (for non-vortex related reasons), and we’ve already missed one week, we’re airing our perilous galavant through time! Will we eventually find Dave and then immediately set his hair on fire? Will we do any fixering at all? Tune in to find out!

 

Episode ingredients: Enter the Timecops, Caveman Science Project, Dave Rave Cave, Ice Age McAllister, Hurtling Towards the Pyramids, Pharaoh Davehotep, My Eyes Are So Refreshed!, and Alight-headed

The beautiful custom that we all know and love, the Public Gift, comes under some scrutiny as we dare to ask “what if it’s bee’s?” The boys take the all-new SmartHouse for a whirl and experience all its face-slappingly incredible gadgets firsthand. Dracula opens a diner.

 

Episode ingredients: Welcome to SmartHouse, The Gift of Bees, Timely Warnings From Seamus, BDSM Laugh Control, Dracula Deadbeat and Loving It, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Blood, and the Slapparatus

As far as I'm concerned, greeting cards are just super short, stupid books. On the flip side, I've never owned a book that could play low-quality clips of popular songs. So maybe books are just overly long, unnecessarily quiet greeting cards?

 

Episode ingredients: Sneeze Styles, Sweeten Your Lawn, Dracula Deadbeat and Loving It, Fake A Book, Hoof Moof, 5-ish Minute D&D, and Can Someone Please Argue Now?

We peel back yet another layer of one of life’s darkest mysteries: the clown. Namely, the meat clown. You read that right. Now let the nightmares commence! Also, we change movies forever...again.

 

Episode ingredients: Geppedophile, Blowing on Ice Cream, clownantics.com and Modeling Balloons, Brought To You By, Steamroll the Steamrollers, The Hit List - Fannies Packs and Pennies, Theater Fajitas, Oinky Boom-Boom II, (this episode was almost called) More Heads Better, and Outro Roulette

We swear we’re not deliberately trying to be a biweekly podcast! December is tough. Lucky for you, we’ve included a gift guide in this episode so you know exactly what to get everybody this year. Assuming you haven’t bought anything yet. Three days before Christmas. Also, we’ll probably be skipping another week after this one.

 

Episode ingredients: Fixers gift guide, The Kubrick and the Cage, Little Johnnie Saves Christmas, Shriner Fish Fry Mystery, Where Muscle Cars Come From, the Sherpacycle, The Hit List - standard bologna, Slim Jim Gushers, and Sauce Croth

Puff up that brisket and prepare for a fantastical adventure into the Fixerverse. The new debate segment gets a little out of hand, and by a little I mean that Ben loses all grasp of reality for a few minutes and argues against his own stance.

 

Episode ingredients: Original Flavored Water, Five Minute D&D, Can Someone Please Argue Now? (Imaginary Arugments), Why Bodyguards Exist, and Check Out These Bones