For Aliens, By Aliens

This week, Jacob, Aaron, and super qualified guest-pert Michelle Conklin, mother of five, go on an epic journey that all humans take -- right through the vaginal canal. They go through all the phases: denial, bargaining, contractions, the big push/poop, and making another hooman being. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Happy Halloween, y’all. This week Jacob and Aaron speculate wildly on the nature of ghosts. Join them as they talk about their most memorable Halloweens and favorite scary movies. Do you guys think aliens dress as people for Halloween? I bet they do. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Your Earth Ambassadors know so much about weather that they don't even know how to explain it. They start out trying to go straight science on it and end up talking about war and Trump instead. It could have gone worse. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

The ambassadors turn into two full-time gramps and talk hunting and fishing, which is totally in their wheelhouse. Aaron has a beard, which makes him an expert on hunting. Jacob is a Sallie-boy, which makes him an expert on fishing. That’s just science ya’ll. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

The podcast is all grown up! Twenty-one episodes and my how the time flies. In celebration, your Earth Ambassadors are getting drunk and talking about alcohol. Discussion topics include blacking out, puking, rallying, and getting drunk for the first time. You know what they say: It’s all downhill from here. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Jacob and Aaron tell the aliens everything they know about early American history straight off the dome. They both fumble all the dates as well as most of the facts, but in a totally charming and cool way, probably. It’s pretty obvious that Aaron gets most of his historical facts from the hit musical Hamilton, which he doesn't remember very well either. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to teach aliens about the thorny concept of marriage. Tune in to hear your Earth am-bachelors stumble over their reasons for not yet being wed, learn whose boy Aaron could have been, and find out why Jacob’s dog should be very concerned about his engagement plans. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Jacob and Aaron have a frank and telling discussion about which button they like to push the most. Who loves handicap buttons? The answer is all of us. Omjesus, did you know that some people don’t have belly buttons? Anyway, I got carried away there for a moment. Buttons are so interesting. Also, the ambassadors birth the brainchild of Skin’t, the Ashton Kutcher show about surprise circumcision.

On a dark and stormy night, two sexy sleuths get down to the dirty business of dirty business...and Jacob tells a long story, made longer still by Aaron’s interruptions. This is not your regularly scheduled programming, but these are your regularly scheduled Earth ambassadors. This is FABA Nights.

On a dark and stormy night, two sexy sleuths get down to the dirty business of dirty business...and death. This is not your regularly scheduled programming, but these are your regularly scheduled Earth ambassadors. This is FABA Nights.