Forgive Yourself

An empty nest can bring more freedom, more time, and a deep sense of pride in the children you’ve raised. It can also bring grief, loneliness, and questions about who you are now.

In this episode, I talk about why this transition can feel especially complicated for high-achieving women who have spent years caring for others, staying busy, and tying their sense of value to being needed. I share how to make space for difficult emotions without immediately trying to fix them, reconnect with your own wants and needs, and become curious about the woman emerging underneath all the roles you’ve carried.

Rather than rushing to fill the empty space with another goal or accomplishment, I invite you to see this season as an opportunity to listen to yourself, redefine what makes a life meaningful, and discover who you’re becoming now that you have more room to hear yourself.

What You'll Learn

• How being needed can become intertwined with your sense of identity and worth
• Why busyness, overthinking, or productivity can sometimes be ways of avoiding difficult emotions
• A simple three-question practice for noticing and responding to what you’re feeling
• How to explore what you want without turning your next chapter into another achievement
• How your relationship with your adult children can evolve from managing and advising to listening and trusting
• Why your value, purpose, and identity don’t disappear when your caregiving role changes

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Finding your way back to yourself is about slowing down enough to hear what’s already within you, not doing more. In this episode, I sit down with best-selling author and entrepreneur Amber Vilhauer to explore what it means to reconnect with your inner light after years of people-pleasing, pushing through, and looking outside yourself for validation.

Amber shares how her own experiences with rejection, self-sacrifice, and disconnection led her to rebuild her self-trust and how becoming a mother deepened that journey. We also discuss Amber’s new book, What Nature Teaches Us, co-authored with her son Clay, and the simple but powerful lessons nature offers about resilience, self-worth, compassion, and being present.

What You'll Learn

• How people-pleasing and seeking external validation can disconnect you from your sense of self
• Why slowing down and spending time in nature can help you reconnect with your intuition
• How small, everyday choices can strengthen self-trust
• Why your accomplishments and productivity don’t determine your self-worth
• How understanding the beliefs behind past choices can make self-forgiveness easier
• What nature can teach us about resilience, compassion, connection, and being the light

About Amber Vilhauer

Amber Vilhauer is a bestselling author, entrepreneur, speaker, and mom who has spent more than 20 years helping others grow with greater authenticity and purpose. Her latest book, What Nature Teaches Us, co-authored with her nine-year-old son, explores resilience, self-worth, connection, and the lessons we discover when we slow down and listen.

Get Amber’s Be the Light Family Connection Guide, a free resource featuring five simple, nature-inspired conversations designed to help people slow down, reconnect, and explore resilience, self-trust, kindness, and big feelings: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/arz2pa1sfr4o0v111ps1a/Be-the-Light-PDF.pdf? 

rlkey=v1km42wtlvjeqzjpw8jpfyzvg&st=7wgwl7mv&dl=0 

Learn more about Amber: https://ambervilhauer.com/ 

Get your copy of “What Nature Teaches Us”: https://choosethelight.com/ 

Follow Amber on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ambervilhauer/?hl=en  

Connect with Amber LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ambervilhauer/  

Follow Amber on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ambervilhauer/  

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Getting sober, changing a behavior, or understanding your patterns doesn’t always mean you’ve healed from what’s underneath them.

In this episode, I'm joined by Leif Bjelland, longtime recovery advocate and founder of Heroic Breath, to explore the difference between taking responsibility for your past and continuing to punish yourself for it. Leif shares how his own recovery from alcoholism eventually led him beyond sobriety and into meditation, breathwork, and a deeper understanding of self-compassion.

Leif and I discuss the shame and repetitive thought patterns that can keep us stuck, why we often turn to busyness or other forms of escape to avoid what we’re feeling, and how embodied practices can help us move beyond simply understanding our patterns. This episode is an invitation to stop using your past against yourself and begin experiencing compassion, forgiveness, and healing in a new way.

What You'll Learn

• Why stopping a behavior and truly healing are not always the same thing
• The difference between taking responsibility and continuing to punish yourself
• How shame, repetitive thoughts, and escapism can keep old patterns alive
• Why intellectual understanding alone may not be enough to create lasting change
• How meditation and breathwork can help you reconnect with your body and quiet the thinking mind
• What it means to experience self-compassion instead of simply understanding the concept

About Leif Bjelland

Leif Bjelland is an entrepreneur, longtime recovery advocate, breathwork facilitator, and founder of Heroic Breath. More than 10 years into his own sobriety journey, Leif draws from his experiences with recovery, meditation, and breathwork to help others move beyond intellectual understanding and experience greater self-compassion, healing, and connection with themselves.

Get complimentary access to The Release, the first full-length session of the Heroic Breath Reset with code “freedom100”: heroicbreath.com/freedom 

Connect with Leif on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leif-b-038a21242/ 

Follow Leif on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heroic.breath/ 

Follow Leif on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61570276557095

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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After heartbreak, it’s easy to look back and wonder: Why didn’t I see it sooner? Why did I stay? How did I let this happen? But taking responsibility for your past doesn’t have to mean carrying shame for it.

In this episode, I sit down with somatic coach, educator, and writer Christina Elaine to explore the patterns that keep us stuck in self-blame and why healing isn’t about endlessly analyzing or fixing ourselves. Christina shares how our nervous systems can pull us toward familiar relationship dynamics, why insight alone may not be enough to change those patterns, and how new experiences can help us respond differently.

What You'll Learn

• How to distinguish healthy self-responsibility from shame and self-blame
• Why familiar emotional dynamics can keep showing up in your relationships
• How somatic awareness can help you interrupt old patterns and choose a different response
• Why constantly analyzing yourself and others can sometimes make healing harder
• How to experience difficult emotions without immediately attaching a story to them
• Why frustration, disappointment, and annoyance can actually be signs of greater emotional regulation

About Christina Elaine

Christina Elaine is a somatic coach, educator, and writer who helps people rebuild emotional safety and connection through the body. She is the editor of Mutual Terrain and a top 1% writer on Medium. Through her coaching, workshops, and embodiment-based curriculums, Christina helps both men and women recognize emotional and relationship patterns, develop new ways of responding, and create healthier connections with themselves and others.

Learn more about Christina: https://christinaelaine.com

Get access to Christina’s Radiance and Embodied course library: https://christinaelaine.com/radiance-embodied/ 

Join her Workshop, Being Held, a four-Sunday live series for women: https://christinaelaine.com/being-held/ 

Follow Christina on…

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@christinaelainecoaching
• Medium: https://medium.com/@christinaelainecoaching
• Substack: https://christinacoaching.substack.com

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Sometimes the symptoms we’re trying to silence are actually asking us to pay attention. In this episode, Dr. Jen Hewson, doctor of natural medicine, ordained minister, author, and trauma survivor, explores the connection between our physical health, nervous system, emotions, relationships, and spiritual lives.

Drawing from her own journey, Dr. Jen shares how years spent in survival mode can shape the way we feel, think, respond, and care for ourselves. Together, we discuss learning to recognize the difference between intuition and hypervigilance, quieting the body so we can hear ourselves more clearly, and finding compassion for the choices we once made simply to survive.

What You'll Learn

• How prolonged stress and survival mode can affect the body, nervous system, and emotional well-being
• Why physical symptoms may be worth exploring as part of a larger whole-person picture
• How to begin distinguishing between intuition and a nervous system that is operating on high alert
• Why some behaviors we judge ourselves for may have developed as ways of coping or surviving
• How forgiveness can unfold in layers and help us release patterns rooted in past pain

Get Dr. Jen’s free “Your Gut Is Trying to Tell You Something” guide: https://guide.takebackyourhealth.ca/ 

Subscribe to Dr. Jen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SiftingLifePodcast 

Listen to the Sifting Life podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1bc8CeLwm5TzeQe5fRXwYd?si=qHbCbaBGSNaRLdQVcZCfOg&nd=1&dlsi=763c6f75a55c4593

Follow Dr. Jen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takebackyourhealthwithdrjen/ 

Connect with Dr. Jen on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com//takebackyourhealthwithjen

Follow along on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@askdrjenhewson

About Dr. Jen Hewson

Dr. Jen Hewson is a doctor of natural medicine, ordained minister, author, speaker, trauma survivor, and founder of Take Back Your Health and Sifting Life Ministries. Drawing from both her professional training and her personal journey through childhood trauma, cancer, and rebuilding her health, Dr. Jen helps others explore the connections between their physical symptoms, emotional experiences, thought patterns, relationships, and spiritual well-being.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Relationships can become much harder to see clearly when our emotions, hopes, fears, and past experiences are involved. Sometimes we recognize the red flags or feel that something isn’t right long before we’re ready to admit it to ourselves.

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and “Is He Worthy?” author Dave McLachlan for a conversation about bringing greater clarity and self-trust into the way we choose and navigate relationships. Dave shares how his own difficult divorce inspired him to create the Worthy Method, an unemotional relationship assessment designed to help women identify what truly matters to them, establish their non-negotiables, and look more objectively at whether a relationship aligns with the life they want. We explore why we can override our intuition, how emotions can cloud what we already know, and why recognizing our own relationship patterns is an important part of making different choices.

What You'll Learn

• How defining your non-negotiables can help you make more aligned choices
• Why we sometimes override red flags and our own intuition
• How self-awareness can reveal patterns in the relationships we choose
• Why assessing your own readiness matters just as much as assessing a potential partner
• How forgiveness can help you release past relationship choices and move forward with greater self-trust

Use code "4GIVE" for a 45-day free trial of the Is He Worthy community: https://isheworthy.com/Subscribe

About Dave McLachlan:

​Dave's work focuses on helping women assess their relationships more clearly to stop bad relationships before they start.  He is the creator of the W.O.R.T.H.Y. Method, an unemotional relationship assessment designed to guide women to ask important questions early. 

Subscribe to Dave on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@isheworthynow

Follow Dave on…

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/is_he_worthy 
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@is.he.worthy 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/isheworthy/ 

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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For years, Paul Drayton believed his struggles with addiction, relationships, and identity were simply who he was. It wasn't until a life-changing ADHD diagnosis at age 50, the end of his marriage, and the work of looking honestly at his past that he began to understand the deeper story behind his choices and find his way back to himself.

In this heartfelt episode, I talk with the British actor, writer, and author of Ride or Die Trying about addiction, recovery, people-pleasing, late-diagnosed ADHD, and the quiet courage it takes to rebuild your life after losing yourself. Paul shares how years of self-medicating, public scrutiny, and searching for answers eventually led him to a place of self-understanding and peace.

Get a copy of Paul’s debut Memoir, Ride or Die Trying: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/ride-or-die-trying-a-life-before-during-and-after-the-laughter-paul-drayton/470cc7e00d605b01

Learn more about Paul: https://pauldrayton.co.uk/ 

Follow Paul on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pauldrayton1/ 

What You'll Learn

• Why understanding yourself is often the foundation of self-forgiveness
• The connection between people-pleasing, losing your identity, and unhealthy relationships
• What recovery looks like beyond simply getting sober
• How accountability and self-compassion can exist at the same time
• Why rebuilding your life starts with coming home to yourself instead of trying to become someone else
• How resilience is often discovered only after you've lived through your hardest seasons
• Why it's never too late to rediscover who you are and create a different future

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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• LinkedIn

Spiritual healing is about coming home to the divine wisdom that's already within you, not becoming someone new. In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with author, yoga teacher, and inner life coach Regan Caruthers to explore the connection between forgiveness and spiritual devotion, and the practices that help us remember who we truly are. Regan shares stories from her spiritual upbringing, how those early experiences shaped her life's work, and why she believes so many of us have been conditioned to disconnect from our true nature. We also explore intuition, divine guidance, embodiment, and the daily practices that help us return to love instead of fear.

To learn more about Regan, visit her website: https://www.regancaruthers.com 

Get a copy of Regan's Memoir "Tragic Magic": https://regancaruthers.com/tragic-magic/ 

Book a free discovery call for Regan’s inner life coaching: https://regancaruthers.com/inner-life-coaching/

Follow Regan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/regancaruthers 

Subscribe to Regan on Substack: https://regancaruthers1.substack.com/about 

What You'll Learn

• How reconnecting with your inner life can transform the way you experience forgiveness
• The difference between intellectual understanding and embodied healing
• How meditation, yoga, and contemplative practices can help you cultivate peace and self-awareness
• Why intuition and divine guidance become more accessible when you create space for stillness
• How to develop a daily practice of presence, devotion, and forgiveness.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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• LinkedIn

For years, I've heard—and even believed—that acceptance was the answer. But through my own experiences with caregiving, health challenges, and now recovering from hamstring surgery, I've discovered something important: sometimes acceptance feels impossibly far away.

In this episode, I'm sharing the gentler path that has transformed how I approach healing. Instead of forcing ourselves to "just accept" painful realities, what if we first became aware, gave ourselves permission, practiced compassion, and then found our way to acceptance? We'll explore why busyness can become a way of avoiding ourselves, how self-judgment keeps us stuck, and why understanding isn't the same as approval. I'll also share how this season of slowing down has taught me that healing only happens one compassionate step at a time.

What You'll Learn

• Why acceptance is often the result of healing, the beginning
• The seven-step pathway of awareness, permission, understanding, compassion, allowing, acceptance, and choice
• How busyness can become a coping strategy that disconnects you from yourself
• The difference between understanding someone's behavior and excusing it
• Why self-compassion creates more lasting change than self-criticism

Reflection Questions

1. What are you trying to force yourself to accept right now?

• Is it a change in your health?
• A relationship that did not become what you hoped?
• A decision you made?
• A decision someone else made?
• A loss?
• A diagnosis?
• A family situation?
• A part of yourself you have been judging?

1. What would change if you stopped pressuring yourself to accept it and simply became willing to understand it?
2. What information, context, compassion, or permission might you need before acceptance becomes possible?
3. What are you becoming aware of?
4. What do you need to give yourself permission to feel?
5. What are you beginning to understand?
6. Where could you offer yourself a little more compassion?
7. What truth could you allow to be present today without forcing yourself to feel differently about it?
8. And what choice might become available when you stop fighting what is true?

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Making the right decision doesn't always feel peaceful. Sometimes it feels lonely. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable. And sometimes it comes with guilt, grief, or the fear of disappointing the people you love.

In this episode, I talk about one of the most important parts of emotional freedom: learning to trust your decisions and stay with yourself after you've made them. Discomfort isn't always a sign you're making the wrong choice, over-explaining often comes from seeking permission instead of communicating, and self-trust grows when you stop abandoning yourself in the face of someone else's reaction.

Drawing from my own experiences—including leaving an unhealthy marriage and making the difficult decision to move my husband into memory care—I share how self-forgiveness transforms past mistakes into wisdom and how emotional freedom comes from choosing yourself without losing your compassion for others.

What You'll Learn

• Why the right decision can still feel uncomfortable
• How to recognize the difference between healthy discomfort and a warning sign
• Why over-explaining is often about seeking permission rather than communicating
• How to stop using other people's reactions as proof that you're wrong
• How to stay connected to yourself even when others are disappointed by your choices

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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• Facebook
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• LinkedIn