Forgive Yourself

Grief doesn’t always have a clear beginning or end. Sometimes it comes with a gradual change in a relationship, a shift in our health, or the loss of a future we once imagined. In this episode, I share what I’ve learned about grief, caregiving, and finding my way back to myself as my husband lives with dementia, from changes in our marriage and the exhaustion of survival mode to giving myself permission to imagine a future that includes my own needs and desires. I also revisit my process for moving toward acceptance and share gentle practices for recognizing what you’re carrying, finding support, and letting go of the guilt that can come with having less capacity.

What You'll Learn

• What ambiguous loss and anticipatory grief can look like
• How grief and prolonged stress can affect your energy, focus, and capacity
• Why having less to give during a difficult season doesn’t diminish your worth
• How a process from awareness and permission to acceptance and choice can help you navigate grief
• Gentle ways to find support, make space for rest, and reconnect with what brings you joy
• How self-forgiveness can help you release guilt about what you couldn’t do
• Why you don’t have to wait for grief to disappear before giving yourself permission to live

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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The kids have left home, the house is quieter, and you finally have more time together. So why does your partner suddenly feel like a stranger?

In this episode, I explore how the empty nest can bring relationship patterns, unspoken needs, and long-held resentments into focus. After years of managing schedules and raising a family, reconnecting starts with getting curious about who you and your partner have become, and forgiveness, self-trust, and honest conversations can help you navigate this transition without taking on all the work yourself.

What You'll Learn

• Why more time together doesn’t automatically create more connection
• How the empty nest can reveal patterns of overgiving, conflict avoidance, and unequal emotional responsibility
• How to stay connected when one partner feels freedom and the other feels grief
• What forgiveness involves when old resentments surface
• Ways to rebuild friendship and emotional intimacy through curiosity, listening, and small shared moments
• How self-trust can help you express your needs and make choices that reflect who you are today

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Sometimes the greatest freedom comes from learning to let go of what we cannot change. In this episode, I welcome TEDx speaker, author, and forgiveness advocate Michael B. Ling for a conversation about healing from childhood trauma, family betrayal, and broken relationships. Michael shares how years of unresolved anger shaped his life, the powerful lesson his grandmother taught him about forgiveness, and how faith, therapy, and self-compassion helped him begin to heal.

We explore why forgiveness is a journey rather than a single decision, how to recognize the deeper pain behind our emotional reactions, and why forgiving someone doesn't mean allowing them back into our lives.

What You'll Learn

• Why forgiveness is a decision, but healing is an ongoing process
• How unresolved childhood pain can influence adult relationships and emotional reactions
• Why forgiveness doesn't require an apology or reconciliation
• How faith, therapy, and self-compassion can support emotional healing
• The importance of setting boundaries while letting go of resentment
• How self-forgiveness can help you rebuild self-worth and healthier relationships

Take Michael’s free assessment to learn where you are in your forgiveness journey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf-Lfc8Lz4IVup4LE5xVAkMdN2LuWZVm5zDV3ab-ajtNl51OA/viewform

Learn more about Michael, his books, and his podcast: https://michaelbling.com/ 

Follow Michael on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michael_b_ling 

Subscribe to Michael on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MichaelLing-x6r 

Follow Michael on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61569019926778 

About Michael B. Ling

Michael B. Ling is a TEDx speaker, author, forgiveness advocate, and founder of Michael Ling Ministries. He is the creator of the Beyond the Hurt Forgiveness Workshop and host of the A Walk Through the Mud podcast, where he explores healing, faith, resilience, and personal transformation. Drawing from his own experiences with childhood trauma, family betrayal, and divorce, Michael helps others understand that forgiveness is a journey toward personal freedom rather than an obligation to reconcile. Through his workshops, speaking engagements, and books, including “Journey: The Story of Perseverance Through Forgiveness” and

Renewing Your Mind,” he encourages people to confront unresolved pain, develop self-compassion, and reclaim control over their lives.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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The ways we learn to survive as children can follow us long after the danger has passed. In this deeply personal conversation, I sit down with Rich Dunning, author of “Silence Was My First Language,” to explore how a childhood shaped by abuse, violence, poverty, homelessness, and addiction continued to affect him well into adulthood. Rich shares how silence, overachievement, distrust, and alcohol became ways of coping with pain he had never addressed, and how addiction eventually brought him to a turning point that changed his life.

We talk about sobriety, accountability, rebuilding trust, and what it means to forgive without excusing the harm that was done. Rich also shares how telling his story has helped him release shame, reclaim his voice, and turn his experiences into a source of hope and purpose for others.

What You'll Learn

• How childhood survival patterns like silence, hypervigilance, and overachievement can continue into adulthood
• Why outward success doesn’t necessarily mean the wounds of the past have healed
• How addiction became a way for Rich to escape unresolved trauma (what ultimately led him to sobriety)
• Why accountability and self-forgiveness can exist at the same time
• What forgiveness looks like when you still need boundaries with the people who hurt you
• How releasing shame and speaking openly about your story can become part of the healing process
• Why healing isn’t just about changing your own life, but also about breaking cycles for the people who come after you

About Rich Dunning

Rich Dunning is an author, speaker, and advocate whose work is rooted in his own journey through childhood trauma, addiction, and recovery. He is the author of Silence Was My First Language, a memoir about breaking cycles of abuse, releasing shame, and reclaiming your voice. Sober since 2017, Rich now uses his story to offer hope to others navigating trauma and addiction. He is also the founder of the First Language Foundation, which supports children and young adults affected by abuse, homelessness, hunger, addiction, and exploitation.

Get your copy of “Silence Was My First Language”: https://www.richdunningbooks.com/ 

Learn more about the First Language Foundation: https://firstlanguagefoundation.org/

Follow Rich on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@richdunningbooks 

Follow Rich Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/richdunningbooks/ 

Connect with Rich on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rich-dunning-9a3137360 

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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An empty nest can bring more freedom, more time, and a deep sense of pride in the children you’ve raised. It can also bring grief, loneliness, and questions about who you are now.

In this episode, I talk about why this transition can feel especially complicated for high-achieving women who have spent years caring for others, staying busy, and tying their sense of value to being needed. I share how to make space for difficult emotions without immediately trying to fix them, reconnect with your own wants and needs, and become curious about the woman emerging underneath all the roles you’ve carried.

Rather than rushing to fill the empty space with another goal or accomplishment, I invite you to see this season as an opportunity to listen to yourself, redefine what makes a life meaningful, and discover who you’re becoming now that you have more room to hear yourself.

What You'll Learn

• How being needed can become intertwined with your sense of identity and worth
• Why busyness, overthinking, or productivity can sometimes be ways of avoiding difficult emotions
• A simple three-question practice for noticing and responding to what you’re feeling
• How to explore what you want without turning your next chapter into another achievement
• How your relationship with your adult children can evolve from managing and advising to listening and trusting
• Why your value, purpose, and identity don’t disappear when your caregiving role changes

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Finding your way back to yourself is about slowing down enough to hear what’s already within you, not doing more. In this episode, I sit down with best-selling author and entrepreneur Amber Vilhauer to explore what it means to reconnect with your inner light after years of people-pleasing, pushing through, and looking outside yourself for validation.

Amber shares how her own experiences with rejection, self-sacrifice, and disconnection led her to rebuild her self-trust and how becoming a mother deepened that journey. We also discuss Amber’s new book, What Nature Teaches Us, co-authored with her son Clay, and the simple but powerful lessons nature offers about resilience, self-worth, compassion, and being present.

What You'll Learn

• How people-pleasing and seeking external validation can disconnect you from your sense of self
• Why slowing down and spending time in nature can help you reconnect with your intuition
• How small, everyday choices can strengthen self-trust
• Why your accomplishments and productivity don’t determine your self-worth
• How understanding the beliefs behind past choices can make self-forgiveness easier
• What nature can teach us about resilience, compassion, connection, and being the light

About Amber Vilhauer

Amber Vilhauer is a bestselling author, entrepreneur, speaker, and mom who has spent more than 20 years helping others grow with greater authenticity and purpose. Her latest book, What Nature Teaches Us, co-authored with her nine-year-old son, explores resilience, self-worth, connection, and the lessons we discover when we slow down and listen.

Get Amber’s Be the Light Family Connection Guide, a free resource featuring five simple, nature-inspired conversations designed to help people slow down, reconnect, and explore resilience, self-trust, kindness, and big feelings: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/arz2pa1sfr4o0v111ps1a/Be-the-Light-PDF.pdf? 

rlkey=v1km42wtlvjeqzjpw8jpfyzvg&st=7wgwl7mv&dl=0 

Learn more about Amber: https://ambervilhauer.com/ 

Get your copy of “What Nature Teaches Us”: https://choosethelight.com/ 

Follow Amber on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ambervilhauer/?hl=en  

Connect with Amber LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ambervilhauer/  

Follow Amber on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ambervilhauer/  

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Getting sober, changing a behavior, or understanding your patterns doesn’t always mean you’ve healed from what’s underneath them.

In this episode, I'm joined by Leif Bjelland, longtime recovery advocate and founder of Heroic Breath, to explore the difference between taking responsibility for your past and continuing to punish yourself for it. Leif shares how his own recovery from alcoholism eventually led him beyond sobriety and into meditation, breathwork, and a deeper understanding of self-compassion.

Leif and I discuss the shame and repetitive thought patterns that can keep us stuck, why we often turn to busyness or other forms of escape to avoid what we’re feeling, and how embodied practices can help us move beyond simply understanding our patterns. This episode is an invitation to stop using your past against yourself and begin experiencing compassion, forgiveness, and healing in a new way.

What You'll Learn

• Why stopping a behavior and truly healing are not always the same thing
• The difference between taking responsibility and continuing to punish yourself
• How shame, repetitive thoughts, and escapism can keep old patterns alive
• Why intellectual understanding alone may not be enough to create lasting change
• How meditation and breathwork can help you reconnect with your body and quiet the thinking mind
• What it means to experience self-compassion instead of simply understanding the concept

About Leif Bjelland

Leif Bjelland is an entrepreneur, longtime recovery advocate, breathwork facilitator, and founder of Heroic Breath. More than 10 years into his own sobriety journey, Leif draws from his experiences with recovery, meditation, and breathwork to help others move beyond intellectual understanding and experience greater self-compassion, healing, and connection with themselves.

Get complimentary access to The Release, the first full-length session of the Heroic Breath Reset with code “freedom100”: heroicbreath.com/freedom 

Connect with Leif on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leif-b-038a21242/ 

Follow Leif on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heroic.breath/ 

Follow Leif on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61570276557095

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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After heartbreak, it’s easy to look back and wonder: Why didn’t I see it sooner? Why did I stay? How did I let this happen? But taking responsibility for your past doesn’t have to mean carrying shame for it.

In this episode, I sit down with somatic coach, educator, and writer Christina Elaine to explore the patterns that keep us stuck in self-blame and why healing isn’t about endlessly analyzing or fixing ourselves. Christina shares how our nervous systems can pull us toward familiar relationship dynamics, why insight alone may not be enough to change those patterns, and how new experiences can help us respond differently.

What You'll Learn

• How to distinguish healthy self-responsibility from shame and self-blame
• Why familiar emotional dynamics can keep showing up in your relationships
• How somatic awareness can help you interrupt old patterns and choose a different response
• Why constantly analyzing yourself and others can sometimes make healing harder
• How to experience difficult emotions without immediately attaching a story to them
• Why frustration, disappointment, and annoyance can actually be signs of greater emotional regulation

About Christina Elaine

Christina Elaine is a somatic coach, educator, and writer who helps people rebuild emotional safety and connection through the body. She is the editor of Mutual Terrain and a top 1% writer on Medium. Through her coaching, workshops, and embodiment-based curriculums, Christina helps both men and women recognize emotional and relationship patterns, develop new ways of responding, and create healthier connections with themselves and others.

Learn more about Christina: https://christinaelaine.com

Get access to Christina’s Radiance and Embodied course library: https://christinaelaine.com/radiance-embodied/ 

Join her Workshop, Being Held, a four-Sunday live series for women: https://christinaelaine.com/being-held/ 

Follow Christina on…

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@christinaelainecoaching
• Medium: https://medium.com/@christinaelainecoaching
• Substack: https://christinacoaching.substack.com

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Sometimes the symptoms we’re trying to silence are actually asking us to pay attention. In this episode, Dr. Jen Hewson, doctor of natural medicine, ordained minister, author, and trauma survivor, explores the connection between our physical health, nervous system, emotions, relationships, and spiritual lives.

Drawing from her own journey, Dr. Jen shares how years spent in survival mode can shape the way we feel, think, respond, and care for ourselves. Together, we discuss learning to recognize the difference between intuition and hypervigilance, quieting the body so we can hear ourselves more clearly, and finding compassion for the choices we once made simply to survive.

What You'll Learn

• How prolonged stress and survival mode can affect the body, nervous system, and emotional well-being
• Why physical symptoms may be worth exploring as part of a larger whole-person picture
• How to begin distinguishing between intuition and a nervous system that is operating on high alert
• Why some behaviors we judge ourselves for may have developed as ways of coping or surviving
• How forgiveness can unfold in layers and help us release patterns rooted in past pain

Get Dr. Jen’s free “Your Gut Is Trying to Tell You Something” guide: https://guide.takebackyourhealth.ca/ 

Subscribe to Dr. Jen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SiftingLifePodcast 

Listen to the Sifting Life podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1bc8CeLwm5TzeQe5fRXwYd?si=qHbCbaBGSNaRLdQVcZCfOg&nd=1&dlsi=763c6f75a55c4593

Follow Dr. Jen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takebackyourhealthwithdrjen/ 

Connect with Dr. Jen on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com//takebackyourhealthwithjen

Follow along on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@askdrjenhewson

About Dr. Jen Hewson

Dr. Jen Hewson is a doctor of natural medicine, ordained minister, author, speaker, trauma survivor, and founder of Take Back Your Health and Sifting Life Ministries. Drawing from both her professional training and her personal journey through childhood trauma, cancer, and rebuilding her health, Dr. Jen helps others explore the connections between their physical symptoms, emotional experiences, thought patterns, relationships, and spiritual well-being.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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Relationships can become much harder to see clearly when our emotions, hopes, fears, and past experiences are involved. Sometimes we recognize the red flags or feel that something isn’t right long before we’re ready to admit it to ourselves.

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and “Is He Worthy?” author Dave McLachlan for a conversation about bringing greater clarity and self-trust into the way we choose and navigate relationships. Dave shares how his own difficult divorce inspired him to create the Worthy Method, an unemotional relationship assessment designed to help women identify what truly matters to them, establish their non-negotiables, and look more objectively at whether a relationship aligns with the life they want. We explore why we can override our intuition, how emotions can cloud what we already know, and why recognizing our own relationship patterns is an important part of making different choices.

What You'll Learn

• How defining your non-negotiables can help you make more aligned choices
• Why we sometimes override red flags and our own intuition
• How self-awareness can reveal patterns in the relationships we choose
• Why assessing your own readiness matters just as much as assessing a potential partner
• How forgiveness can help you release past relationship choices and move forward with greater self-trust

Use code "4GIVE" for a 45-day free trial of the Is He Worthy community: https://isheworthy.com/Subscribe

About Dave McLachlan:

​Dave's work focuses on helping women assess their relationships more clearly to stop bad relationships before they start.  He is the creator of the W.O.R.T.H.Y. Method, an unemotional relationship assessment designed to guide women to ask important questions early. 

Subscribe to Dave on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@isheworthynow

Follow Dave on…

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/is_he_worthy 
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@is.he.worthy 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/isheworthy/ 

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

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• Facebook
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• LinkedIn