In this episode, Simon Goode explores the topic of rumination, particularly in the context of conflict, and demonstrates his personal reflective practice to address intrusive thoughts. He walks through Terry O’Connell’s four restorative justice questions as a practical framework for understanding and moving past mistakes, using his own recent podcasting misstep as an example. The episode highlights the importance of self-reflection, understanding cognitive patterns in conflict, and applying structured techniques to reduce rumination and promote personal growth.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Rumination on workplace conflicts

04:38 Restorative justice program discussion

09:48 Dealing with podcast anxiety

12:46 Understanding Workplace Conflict Dynamics

14:35 Admitting to a podcast mistake

18:49 Reflecting on justifying my actions

23:31 Editing and self-doubt in podcasting

27:06 Reflecting on mental health perspectives

28:31 Reflecting on self-awareness and judgment

33:49 Reflecting on past actions

35:15 Addressing Past Mistakes

Reflective practice is one of the most effective tools for dealing with rumination—especially when it stems from conflict situations at work. In the latest episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, I unpack my own recent experience with rumination after an honest mistake on the podcast, and demonstrate the four-question reflective technique I rely on to break the negative thought cycle.

Here are three key takeaways that might help you when you find yourself stuck in rumination:

• Structure Your Reflection: Use a simple, four-question framework (borrowed from restorative justice) to guide your self-inquiry:
  1. What happened?
  2. What were you thinking at the time?
  3. What have you been thinking about since?
  4. What needs to happen to make it right?
• Focus on Objectivity and Nuance: When you revisit the “what happened” question, keep coming back to the objective facts, resisting the urge to justify or catastrophize. This helps introduce nuance and reduce the black-and-white thinking often tied to rumination.
• Plan Concrete Actions for Resolution: Don’t just reflect—ask yourself what practical steps are needed to make it right, even if you can’t change the past. Sometimes an apology, improved process, or small act of restitution can help you restore your own peace of mind.

We all react imperfectly under stress, but having a reflective routine helps us move forward with more grace and responsibility.

If you’re interested in developing your own conflict skills or want additional resources on handling workplace challenges, check out the latest episode or get in touch!

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website: simongoode.com 
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