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What happens when the weight of trauma becomes too heavy to bear? In this raw and deeply moving episode, we sit down with Jim, a retired Assistant Fire Chief with 33 years of service, who takes us through his harrowing journey with alcoholism, PTSD, and ultimately, a suicide attempt that changed everything.

Jim's story begins in a large Irish Catholic family where drinking was normalized from an early age. By 13, he was already developing a relationship with alcohol that would follow him through high school, college, and into his career as a firefighter. Rising through the ranks to Assistant Chief, Jim appeared successful on the outside while internally battling demons that grew stronger with each traumatic call.

The conversation takes a powerful turn as Jim recounts responding to three SIDS deaths in a single day, spending hours with decapitation victims, and witnessing families burned alive in mistaken arson attacks. Without proper mental health support, he turned to alcohol to numb the pain, leading to failed marriages and increasingly self-destructive behavior.

The most gripping moment comes when Jim describes his suicide attempt in vivid detail – from the crushing despair that led him to put an AR-15 under his chin, to the miraculous misfire that gave him a second chance, to his brother somehow finding him on a remote mountain road. You'll feel every emotion as he describes his journey through rehabilitation specifically designed for first responders, where he finally began addressing both his alcoholism and severe PTSD.

Now 17 months sober, Jim shares how he's rebuilding relationships with his sons, enjoying his role as a grandfather, and finding peace in a simpler life. His story serves as both warning and inspiration for anyone struggling with addiction or mental health issues, especially first responders carrying the weight of traumatic experiences.

If you or someone you know is battling addiction or having thoughts of suicide, this episode offers hope that recovery is possible, even from the darkest places. As Jim reminds us, sometimes our greatest purpose comes from sharing our hardest struggles with others who need to hear them.

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