Recovery Unfiltered

John has been sober for 44 years, and he says you can be dry without being sober. He tells his story, from growing up afraid in Oakland and taking his first drink at 16 to catching fire in AA after rehab in 1982. He also explains how he misunderstood Step One for more than 20 years. He shares how a near-drowning at 25 years sober led to a second spiritual awakening, and how he reconnected with a daughter he had never met. Then he asks hosts Robert (Larry) and Katie, "How's your heart?" and they open up about burnout and their own struggles. This is John's visit as the last live guest before Robert's break through November and December, and it ends with a prayer.

A Blast from the Visit that was fun so we wanted to replay it,

God is not a mystery, but a lot of people are treating Him like one.On this episode of Recovery Unfiltered, Rob and Larry get brutally honest about a question that cuts straight through sobriety, suffering, and spiritual immaturity - how do you know when you’re doing God’s will, and when you’re just forcing your own? If you’ve ever wrestled with pain, control, fear, or the urge to make life happen on your terms, this conversation will hit hard.Larry opens up about the difference between physical pain and the emotional pain tangled inside it, what seven weeks of cancer treatment has taught him, and why he’s finally learning to stop fighting everything he can’t control. Rob pushes the conversation deeper with hard-won recovery wisdom, breaking down the difference between God’s direct will and His permissive will, why “the next right thing” matters, and how emotional sobriety is really spiritual maturity in disguise.You’ll hear them unpack:

• why “God’s will” is often used as an excuse for inaction
• how to tell the difference between surrender and self-deception
• why chronic pain can become a spiritual battle, not just a physical one
• what AA, the Big Book, and the 10th Step actually teach about selfishness, fear, and honesty
• how hindsight can reveal God’s hand long before you recognize it in the moment

They also get personal about scars, prayer, fatherhood, church, and the painful truth that growth usually comes through resistance, not comfort. From a moving story about a child’s medical scare to the reality of facing Stanford and uncertain treatment, this episode keeps asking the question that matters most: what happens when you stop trying to control the outcome and start trusting the process?Essential listening if you’re in recovery, walking through suffering, or trying to figure out how to live with more peace, less fear, and a little more faith today.

What happens when a brutal doctor visit, a messy recovery journey, and a hard truth about control all collide in one conversation? Jesse returns with a story that hits straight at the heart of sobriety, faith, family pain, and the expectations that can quietly wreck your peace if you let them.This episode opens with a raw, personal look at what it means to be handed bad news when you thought you were finally in the clear. From there, the conversation turns into a powerful breakdown of how expectations, resentment, and surrender shape recovery far more than willpower ever could. If you’ve ever felt blindsided by life, overreacted from fear, or struggled to let go of what you thought should happen, this one will feel uncomfortably familiar.You’ll discover:

Jesse shares a raw, often funny story of surviving childhood chaos, trauma, addiction, an abusive marriage, and custody struggles—and finding a path toward recovery, motherhood, and healing.In conversation with Rob and Larry, she reflects on why alcohol was so difficult to face, how postpartum depression and psychosis affected her life, and how recovery communities helped her rebuild. The episode also explores accountability, addiction, and what it means to make amends through everyday actions.Jesse’s story is a reminder that recovery can begin even after years of hardship—and that honesty, support, and the next right choice can help create a different future.

There is no Video on this Episode due to technical difficulties Rob, Doug, Larry and Katie reflect on what it means to practice recovery principles in every area of life—not only at meetings, but in relationships, family, work, and moments of stress.

The advice that changes everything in recovery is simple but powerful: stop comparing your story to someone else’s and start listening for similarities. In this honest conversation, Rob, Larry, and Doug discuss drinking, fear, self-centeredness, surrender, finding the right sponsor, and the importance of sharing from the heart.

We sit down for an update with Brad & Grace from Episode 7 to get an update on relationship life and Kids. The struggles don't just go away once we are sober.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION - Ready to publishA hospital stay, a staph infection, and a brutal reminder that control is mostly an illusion. Rob returns with a raw, funny, and unexpectedly spiritual conversation about fear, surrender, and what it really means to let other people - and God - carry the weight for a while.After a sudden back infection lands him in surgery and a five-day hospital stay, Rob opens up about the shock of the diagnosis, the fear of the unknown, and the strange peace that came after the pressure was finally removed. He talks through the reality of being completely dependent on doctors, nurses, antibiotics, and a checklist just to keep the medication straight, and why that loss of control became one of the biggest lessons in his sobriety.You’ll hear:

• What it feels like when a “just give me antibiotics” hospital trip turns into surgery and a PICC line
• How journaling became the tool that helped Rob work through fear and uncertainty
• Why support from Katie, the guys, and the recovery community mattered more than ever
• The difference between worrying about your own recovery and carrying someone else’s burden
• How one painful health scare forced a deeper look at faith, patience, and surrender

The conversation also folds in another hard-earned lesson from competition, where Larry breaks down the mindset it takes to step onto the mat, face a top seed, and accept that sometimes you get your shot - and sometimes the battle is simply showing up prepared. That thread of discipline, humility, and resilience ties the whole episode together.If you’ve ever tried to white-knuckle life, fix everything yourself, or hide fear behind a good attitude, this one hits hard. It’s honest, practical, and full of the kind of recovery wisdom that only comes from being knocked flat and getting back up anyway.Essential listening if you need a reminder that surrender is not weakness, support is not failure, and sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is let go.

What if the thing keeping you sober is not a better prayer, but a better way to think? Chris shares the recovery path that finally worked for him after years of drinking, relapse, and misery - and why his answer to God, the steps, and AA tradition sounds nothing like what you might expect.Raised between the Valley and the Bay, Chris opens up about feeling like an outsider early on, how drinking escalated from social weekends to daily use, and the relationships, family wounds, and self-destructive patterns that kept following him everywhere he went. He also explains the moment life became unmanageable - and the brutal wake-up call that forced him to stop pretending.You’ll discover:

• why Rule 62 became more than a slogan and how it reshaped the way he sees himself
• the difference between sobriety that looks good and sobriety that actually works
• why he values Tradition 3, Step 10, and the “do the work” side of recovery more than slogans
• how stoicism, Jung, and self-inventory became practical tools in his program
• why he believes action matters more than fake it till you make it

Chris also gets real about secular recovery, why he doesn’t force his beliefs on anyone else, and how he thinks AA can stay inclusive without watering down the message. Along the way, the conversation explores obsession, surrender, humility, resentment, and what it means to build a life that actually fits who you are.This one is for anyone who has ever felt stuck between belief systems, struggled to connect with the program, or wondered whether there’s another way to work recovery without losing yourself. If you want a conversation that is honest, thoughtful, and completely unfiltered, hit play.Want me to turn this into show notes next?