From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment

If we could see inside each other have you ever thought about that we would see? I think we would see so much that is similar. Similar insecurities,  thoughts and feelings. All with each person's unique flavour of course but similar all the same. I think that might be the most important thing we could learn. Because, in the seeing of that, there is calm. It means there is nothing wrong with the way we think or feel. Nothing wrong with us. Just that we are human too.

And from that place, acceptance of ourselves comes so much easier. That is something I help my clients to see. It's something that they may have been seeking for a while. I help them to see that they are okay. Perfect, whole and well in fact. 

Imagine waking up every day with that on your mind?

Noisily searching to be calm was something I was doing that for a long time. It involved trying to control a lot. I tried to maintain a circumstances, make changes and repeating certain practises so I could be calm. But all that was done within a misunderstanding of how life works. Because, life is changeable and this world of form nothing is permanent. And if we don't get that, we are in constant a state of resistance.

Maybe you are familiar with how that resistance feels. It certainly doesn't help you be calm. And the strange thing is, when we see this truth, accept how life works and stop fighting against the natural flow of changing form, we tend to naturally be calm more of the time.

Understanding how life works is the key and I can help you see that with my gentle coaching conversations.

You cannot argue with a drunk person. I mean have you ever tried that. When I was a teacher, I quite often was the designated driver. That meant I was the sober one amongst many drunk people. Hysterical at points but very frustrating at others because have you ever tried to convince a drunk person of something they don't want to do or believe? It's nearly impossible. 

The thing is, when someone is upset, they are like that drunk person. When we are upset, we are caught up in thinking. That thinking looks real. Innocently we cannot think clearly. And if someone else is trying to make us change, we push back even more. Thought will pass on it's own if we give time and space. Obviously, if someone is a danger, then do what makes sense.

But why not give it a try. Let things lie. Let the sober thoughts come in naturally. See what unfolds. 

If you would like to be calm in all your relationships, my coaching can help you to do that. Please get in touch for more calm and clarity in every aspect of your life.

'What are you making up?', is a question I used to ask when I was a headteacher :-) But as I ask it now, it is in a very different way. Because all day every day, we are all making things up. In fact, human beings have been making things up for years. Rooted in the need to make sense of things I suppose. Innocent of course.

But when you make things up, have you noticed the feeling? For example, if you make up what someone else is thinking = off feeling. If you make up why someone else is doing something = off feeling. If you make up a scary future = off feeling.

They all create an off feeling because all feelings are rooted in thought. Off thinking = off feeling. It's not the things you are making up, it's the thoughts themselves which are creating the feeling. You can relate to your feelings as a beautiful guide because when you feel off, your thinking is off. That's all there is to know.

If you are tired of being full of off feelings, coaching with me can help.

Beliefs, goodness do we have a lot of those. The ones about ourselves seem most believable. Surely I must know myself; know who I am and what I am capable of. Those beliefs impact on every aspect of our lives don't they?

But what if they are not true? Because you start life without any beliefs and as you grow up you learn things about yourself. But none of those things are true. They form layers, like the layers of an onion.

Some of those beliefs become a label perhaps diagnosed by someone else. We try to change our beliefs. Swap them for other ones. More layers to the onion.

But they are all thought and they are all releasable. None of them are who you are.

If you can see where your beliefs are holding you back and want that to end, please get in touch.

Trying to control thoughts increases that overwhelmed feeling which is pretty much the opposite of what we are told isn't it?

We are told to think positively, have grateful thoughts and think about fluffy bunnies (well maybe not that one). Have you noticed how much work that involves?

Here's what I have seen around this. You have a negative thought, you judge it (and you) as wrong, you pull it back in to examine it and then you try to do something to change it. Result = more thoughts and more overwhelm.

Here is a different way. You have a negative thought, you notice it and you realise it means nothing about you. Then IT PASSES and you get on with your life.

Awareness is powerful when it is free from judgement and that is the easiest route to freedom from overwhelm. 

If you want to be free from overwhelm, please get in touch.

Are you trying to control your emotions? Have you noticed how hard that is? 

I tried to do that for a long time. I wanted to feel motivated and to stop procrastinating. I was told that was down to me. That I could change my mindset. Lots of tools and techniques were presented. I tried them all. Nothing really stuck.

Because they were filling up my head with judgement, expectation and what I needed to do to fix myself.

But I was just out of touch with my essence. It's your essence too. Calm, wisdom and love which is hidden by thought. 

Because the origin of our emotions is thought. Anything which allows thought to pass increases calm. Anything which adds thought in decreases calm. It's simpler than you might think.

I can help you live in your true essence more of the time and take managing your emotions off your list of things to do. How about that?

Imagine taking emotional management off you list?

Have you noticed that trying to get off the roller coaster of life increases overwhelm?

But it can seem like that is something to attain, a life free from ups and downs. I have noticed this recently in my client conversations. The 'if only' of feeling calm all the time. The sense that there is somewhere to get to. The idea that life could be a straight line. Or even a straight line which is always ascending.

But the truth about the human experience is that it's untidy, messy and it has highs and lows. We can accept this or feel the uncomfortable resistance to it. Overwhelm is made from overthinking. Resistance creates overthinking. Acceptance brings more calm and clarity.

If you are overwhelmed right now, you experience little calm and you feel stressed out and close to burnout, get in touch [email protected]

Addition cannot make you calmer. Because where we see lack there is judgement. Judgement is thought. It is thought which takes you away from feeling calmer. It really is that simple. Being calm is your natural state. It's the addition of thought which stops you connecting to that.

Less thought = calm. If you have been trying to feel calmer for a long time, you are finally in the right place.

Confusion about truth creates that overwhelmed feeling. Because, have you considered what is really true? Your thoughts about the future? Your 'what ifs'? Your regrets about the past? None of those thoughts are true.

And that overwhelmed feeling is coming from those untrue thoughts. The noise in your head. It's like running out of date software on your computer. It causes a problem. An uncomfortable feeling. That overwhelmed feeling.

What is true right now is your breath, your clothes against your body and what you can see in front of you. Right now is true.

As you see the untruth of the thoughts in your head, you naturally fall into a place of presence, calm and clarity. No tools, no techniques, no therapy, no changing thought; just a different relationship with them. 

If you would like more calm and clarity without all those tools and techniques, please reach out.