This beautiful topic came up during a recent conversation with a client. As we talked about the experience he was trying to avoid, he said, 'I think I am trying to transcend my feelings'. I couldn't resist looking up the word ... and got this result. 'To go beyond or above the range of normal or physical human experience.' Word by word, phrase by phrase we unpicked it. We started with 'normal or physical human experience.' Surely if we are having an experience, it is normal. How can it not be if we are having it. Imagine if we saw all our experiences as normal. How much would that take off our minds?

Even the space where the seekers of transcendence want to be is therefore part of the human experience. In the phrase, 'go beyond or above' there is sense of escaping, judging, measuring - all things which put more on our minds. The thing is, wherever you are seeking, trying to transcend, judging therefore the lack in your human experience there will be more on your mind! Your experience is perfect just as it is. You are perfect just as you are. Stay here and play.

How not to manage stress! Seems like a really strange title for a piece doesn't it? You are much more likely to see content about how to manage stress, relieve stress or feel less stressed.

But here's the thing I have seen. Trying to manage stress can make you more stressed. All those tools and techniques. The things to do every day.  The ones you do in the moment. It's a lot to think about! And that's the rub! Stress is created through thought so more thought = more stress.

Understanding stress is much more helpful and this podcast can help you do that. 

Conditions!

How many of those do you have in place?

Conditions for happiness.

Conditions for calm.

Conditions for action.

There are so many of these at play in our lives.

Most of the time we are unaware.

But what if you did bring a little awareness to them.

Notice where you are saying ...

'Once condition X is in place, I will experience Y'

As I consider that, it feels so heavy.

Like a huge burden of control.

So much to do.

But what if happiness, calm and action were condition-less?

What if nothing ever had to be a certain way again.

Just consider that freedom for a moment.

And smile.

Because it is possible once you know how things work.

Decisions!

How many of those do you make each day?

There will be some you don't even notice.

But there will be some which appear huge.

They fill your head!

Is it this or that?

Is it A or B?

What shall I do?

Have noticed that doesn't feel calm.

But have you seen the opposite?

You stop thinking about it.

You get on with something else.

Your mind clears.

Then the answer appears

Or the circumstances change.

And it's all sorted out.

Amazing how that works.

And what if you knew that would happen.

What if you never felt the unease of making a decision again.

I can help you achieve that.

Help you take that off your mind.

Help you live more in flow.

Let's have a conversation.

Resilience!

That's a big topic.

It's so big that if you search 'How to build resilience' on Google you get ....

206 000 000 results!!

Yes!!

Two hundred and six million!!

Fancy ploughing your way through that lot?

If you do that search and start reading you might see what I saw.

The help being offered is based on a model of lack.

That somehow we can lack resilience.

That we need to add it in!

But what if you turned that upside down.

What if you knew resilience was always there.

Set at 100% in each and every one of us.

Right from birth.

Now I am not saying you can always see it ...

... the power of thought sees to that!

But it is always there.

Like a rope round your middle pulling you through life.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could see it all the time.

I really can help you do that!

Self-consciousness!

I have been seeing something about this recently.

Google says: 'Undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance, or one's actions.'

And the part of this definition which stands out to me is 'undue'.

Not to make this end up like an English lesson but here is the meaning of 'undue' - unwarranted or inappropriate because excessive or disproportionate.

So self-consciousness could be defined as 'Self-consciousness!

I have been seeing something about this recently.

Google says: 'Undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance, or one's actions.'

And the part of this definition which stands out to me is 'undue'.

Not to make this end up like an English lesson but here is the meaning of 'undue' - unwarranted or inappropriate because excessive or disproportionate.

So self-consciousness could be defined as 'excessive or disproportionate  awareness of oneself.'

And where does this start?

Where does it come from?

JUDGEMENT!!

We are bound to have some level of awareness of how we are.

That seems like a human thing to have.

But when judgement gets involved, that thinking about ourselves goes into overdrive.

If we accepted everything about ourselves, there would be less inclination to be self-conscious.

If you want to be less self-conscious, please get in touch.

Happiness!

That's a topic which is often discussed isn't it?

Where does it come from?

How do we get more of it?

What does it even mean?

When you contemplate your own happiness ... what do you see?

The Google definition of happiness is 'a state of well-being and contentment.'

It can often look like we have to create this state.

By doing things in the outside world 

OR

Doing things to ourselves.

But what if we have got that backwards?

What if well-being and contentment are our natural state?

I truly believe this is the case.

Our natural state is happiness ...

And then there is thought.

Thought stops us seeing our well-being sometimes.

Perhaps you have noticed that in yourself ...

When your mind is busy, you tend not to feel content.

When you are quiet and present, well-being naturally emerges.

Less doing

Less seeking

Less thought 

EQUALS

More contentment

More well-being

More happiness

If you want to experience more of your innate happiness get in touch.

Enough!

When I consider the word 'enough' it feels like a chasm. 

A hole which would be unfillable if we tried to fill it. 

It's impossible to measure what is enough.

Maybe in fact everything is. 

Maybe everything is perfect just as it is. 

We can sit in a place of seeing that perfection. 

Or we can end up sitting in a place of seeing lack. 

The former feels light and free. 

A place of less on my mind.

A space where the next thing to do will occur to me.

Enough is impossible to measure.

Who makes those rules anyway.

Maybe you are ready to make your own rules!!

Prescription!

I spent a long time searching for the right one.

Thinking that there must be an answer out there.

That thing that would make me 'better'.

It seemed like there were so many wise people.

They were wiser than me.

They knew how to fix me.

It was never ending.

Some things worked for a while.

Then they didn't.

Some things didn't work at all.

I blamed myself not the tool.

I saw myself as unfixable.

When would this end?

I wonder right now if you can relate.

Are you searching too?

Looking for the prescription?

It turned out in the end that I didn't need a PRESCRIPTION.

What I needed was a DESCRIPTION.

Once I understood where my feelings came from.

Once I could see my own innate wellbeing ...

It all fell away ... beautifully ... naturally ... easily

It was my wisdom which got me there in the end NOT everyone else's.

Mistakes!

It looks like we all make them but do we really?

Here's a different take.

In the moment when you do something it looks right!

It is the best thing to do.

In that moment there isn't anything else.

That's the thinking which looks real.

Later that can change.

Oh dear! Turns out now, I don't like what I have done.

A new perspective has emerged.

New thinking looks real.

Then the regret

Then, 'I should have known better'.

Then self-criticism.

But the self you are criticising was doing their best.

Can you see that?

Can you bring compassion to how you see yourself?

In any moment you are doing your best.

We all are.

If you would like to live without regret, you can make a start with a conversation with me.