Matty leaves for vacation so our intrepid host scrambles to fill the hole with Slyvia and Linda. They both say no so Ryan makes do with some funny imitations that go nowhere.

Swamped by new mail and calls, we plow through and try to cover important news like fake Proud Boy implications on this FBI attack and the ridiculous assumption that Britney Spears is a bad mom.

After trying to figure out why some dude in a giant costume would avoid black kids, we take a bunch of calls including some dude who accidentally got a chick pregnant but proudly declares he doesn't eat hipster food.

The guys discuss the newly announced Sino-Russo reserve currency, Matty regales us with stories of guns and nearly dying, and for some reason Ryan is wearing only a bulletproof vest.

We try to watch Day 8 of the Jan 6 hearings but we'd rather talk to Matty about his cellmates like Christopher Rocancourt who convinced the world he was a Rockefeller and bilked people out of millions. We also check in on wet farts, vomit, and our old pal Gazi who is facing some pretty serious sodomy charges.

We introduce a new friend who doesn't actually show up but there's letters from prison and angry flat earthers telling us we got it all wrong.

We go through the stultifying lack of meritocracy in Western politics and laugh at the glaring incompetence these affirmative action hires bring the world. We also talk to a lot of new parents about how awesome it is to have kids.

We spend the first half of the show mocking NYT's Alan Feuer for his pathetic NPR interview where he appears convinced anyone who disagrees with him is literally Hitler.

Live at noon we go through breaking news with NY gun laws and Jan 6 delays. At the end of the show, we realize Biden did something even grosser than ruining the country.

Clown World's version of what our world is so far from reality, it's basically a cartoon. We don't want gays reading to kids just because they're gay? We wanted to kill Mike Pence? We tried to take over the most powerful country in history? This is Smurfs.