Women at Work

Getting Along with an Insecure Tormentor


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Maria’s boss used to be a mentor—someone she admired, learned from, and enjoyed working with. But after a reorg, he changed. He became critical and dismissive, questioned her commitment to work, and started to undermine her instead of lifting her up. Now she’s struggling to maintain a productive working relationship with someone who is unsupportive at best and out to get her at worst.

How should you handle a boss who’s turned against you? How do you protect your reputation and career while managing the stress?

In this episode, Amy G speaks with Maria and suggests strategies, based on her book Getting Along, for navigating a difficult relationship with a boss whose insecurity has turned him into a tormentor. By the end of their conversation, Maria has a plan for moving forward, setting boundaries, and preserving her well-being.

Resources:

  • Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People), by Amy Gallo
  • Speak Up, Speak Out, from the HBR Women at Work Series
  • Research: Shifting the Power Balance with an Abusive Boss,” by Hui Liao et al.
  • What to Do When Your Boss Betrays You,” by Ron Carucci
  • Research: Insecure Managers Don’t Want Your Suggestions,” by Nathanael J. Fast et al.
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