Getting Your Sh*t Together

What's in this episode?
Time to jump back into our little series around addiction and the behaviors, thoughts and feelings that may be manifested because of it. Today's episode is around the lovely guilt and shame. NOTE: they are not the same! However, they can wreck the ever loving sh*t out of you, if left unchecked. Let's examine shall we?

If you'd like to check out the other eps that fall under this series, please see below:
When do you have a problem?
You have a problem and need support, where to go? 

Guilt and shame sounds like such a sh*t show, yes?
Well, it can be, if you don't address it. We all have felt both guilt and shame, if you come from a household more on the dysfunctional side -- I bet you felt it early. I know I did.  How do you tell the difference, this is how I keep it straight.

• Guilt: applies to something outside of myself. What I did to another person and how I feel about that equates to guilt.
• Shame: applies to how I view myself. If I consider myself a slob that is unlovable. That's a story I'm telling myself, which amps up my need to self destruct or act out.

How to break out of it, fam?
There is no one way or easy answer. Self awareness is key but the bigger piece to me is learning self compassion. I plan to dive so deep into this but something that saved my life AND sense of self was reading a book by Kristen Neff called "Self Compassion: the proven power of being kind to yourself." WHEN I SAY IT WAS LIFE CHANGING -- it was no lie but plenty of tears were shed in the process. Learning to speak kindly and loving to yourself will go a long way when it comes to alleviating your shame and being able to accept, grow and rectify (if you can) your feelings around guilt. Check, It. Out. 

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What's in this episode?
Honesty time! I resisted AA like a mutha when I was gently prodded by my therapist to try it out. I'm contrarian by nature and typically resist most things group related and truth be told, the idea of AA that most of us have doesn't make the idea seem to pleasant. So, yeah -- a bih resisted for a long damn time. 

But, whet?
I got over it. Well, not sure if I got over it OR I had no choice but to confront it. It was humbling, though but I'm glad I let my ego go enough to try something new.

So, they got to you too, eh?
I wouldn't say that. It's just something I needed to do for this part of my journey. NOW, I will always urge anyone to do what is best for them. There is no right way to be sober and it drives me crazy when folks try to say that there is. I will say, AA helped me a lot as a newbie and gave me a lot of tools on top of making me feel less alienated. Is it easy? Nah, it's probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but it's been worth the growth I've experienced in such a short amount of time. If this resonates with you in anyway, feel free to reach out to me -- I will gladly discuss. 

Feel free to review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
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Email: [email protected]
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What's in this episode?
Support! We all need it, especially if you're going through the emotional turmoil of realizing you have (or may have) an addiction of some kind. This is the second part of series discussing alcohol and addiction.

The first episode is here: When do you have a problem? Check it out!

Siiiiiiis, So I have all the options?
Yes, boo -- you have all the options. Here are the ones I shout out in the podcast.

• Moderation Management
• Alcoholics Anonymous (of course)
• Refuge Recovery
• SMART Recovery
• LifeRing
• SOS
• Women For Sobriety 

But the list doesn't end there. There are so many support groups out there, you may have to hunt but help is out there.

What if support groups aren't my thing??
Trust me, I feel you one hunnit on that. I'm not a huge group or group think kind of chick and before I stumbled into AA, I was in therapy. Like I said, there are options. Maybe you feel like you need rehab or hotlines, there are options for you. However, I'm a big believer in therapy -- a great therapist can help guide and support you as you work you way through all of this. I'm a huge fan of Therapy for Black Girls and they have a listing you can use. Give it a looksie.

Feel free to review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
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Email: [email protected]
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What's in this episode?
Today's episode discusses self value. What it is. How it can manifest. Negative things folks can say about it and of course, how it's shown up in my life this year so far.

But wait, what happened sis?
A LOT happened. It's crazy how resistant to change we can be until you have no other choice but to shift your way of being because life has become unmanageable. Hopefully, you won't have to smash your lovely head against the wall like I did. Although, if you did -- it's okay, we're in this together.

You valuing you!
How are you embodying self value? How are you not? What's getting your way or how has your life changed? Please let me know! Would love to share thoughts, ideas or inspiration over social media.

Don't forget: Feel free to review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
IG: gettingyourishtogether
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What's in this episode?
Let's jump into the nitty-gritty friends about determining whether you have a problem. Now, while I can only talk about my alcohol issues, this can apply to anything that you can indulge to excess (i.e. food, sex, drugs, smoking, etc.). This episode, I will talk about when I discovered I had a problem, it wasn't a straight line and it's not for most people and how I handled it (badly, at first).

Also, I discussed binge drinking, here is the correct statistic.

• CDC defines binge drinking as a pattern of drinking that brings a person’s blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to 0.08 grams percent or above. This typically happens when men consume 5 or more drinks or women consume 4 or more drinks in about 2 hours.

But wait, so you have a problem, sis?
You have no idea. Drinking was my escape from my life (the good and bad...mostly bad). Once I acknowledged that I had an issue, that's when reality set in. I struggled with it at first, I ran from it A LOT. It took my emotional rock bottom to make me realize how I was coping with life. That, if I didn't do this for me...figure out how to LOVE ME...that this cycle would keep going. So, basically -- I humbled my ass.

Well, what do I do if I think I have a problem?
Everyone gets their on their own time. Thinking about it is a great first step, assessing what you do HONESTLY is key. You can't sugar coat it and you may have to keep going through it for awhile until you reach the point of saying you've had enough. It isn't linear and you will go back-and-forth because change is HARD and not always fun. But if any of this story resonates with you, you are not alone and you will get there. One minute, one moment, one day at a time.

Feel free to review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
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Email: [email protected]
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What's in this episode?
Growing up, I always considered myself fairly honest. I didn't go out of my way to lie but I was never a fan of telling the whole truth. I thought I was being coy, maybe even a little bit mysterious... After all,   everyone lies, right? I wasn't doing anything that bad.

But wait, what happened sis?
SOBRIETY did. Well, I truthfully, I got caught in the lovingly icy embrace of post-acute withdrawal (PAWS). Read about it here. I thought I was losing my mind but it actually was probably the best thing to happen. My mind, my life became so overwhelming and as I clung to my sobriety -- I surrendered and said f*ck it, let's try some new sh*t. So, honesty it was. There was no way I could keep moving forward without it. And you know what I discovered folk...honesty is the shi*t!

Okay, honesty is the sh*t, now what?
I KEPT ROLLING WITH IT. Day by day. Some day it's easier than others but I feel so much lighter. We forget all the mental gymnastics you have to go through even for a little white lie. Sobriety has been amazing (even with the PAWS bs) because I'm not hiding it. It's the truth, my truth and life is messy. So, sheesh -- a bih is embracing all of it and so should you.

Looking forward to connecting along the way. Feel free to review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
IG: gettingyourishtogether
Email: [email protected]

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What's in this episode?
Ciara sang about (or whatever she does) it, the interwebs memes about it, so let's dive a little deeper into LEVELING UP and how it occurs at the most random times in our lives. Cynthia is taking a small break on the sobriety talk (kinda) to have a little leveling up testimony, friends!

But sis, c'mon now...seriously?
I know, right? But, it's legit -- a thing. For the longest words like "thriving" or "abundance" would have this bih seeing red until one day, it just all made sense. It took my birthday, followed by one of the hottest days of the year for something to snap within me to realize a bih needed to stop blocking her blessings. 

Can I LEVEL UP too?
Hell yeah, you can. Although, this is part of my story -- this is within anyone's grasp. It's all about:

• Looking at your past and present to notice any patterns
• Getting clear on what you want and owning it
• Setting small tiny goals in order to move yourself forward
• Realizing that setbacks are inevitable but you will learn more from those than you anything
• And that, kindness and self compassion are KEY -- you got this!

If this episode resonated, please reach out -- I'd love to hear from you. Also, please review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
IG: gettingyourishtogether
Email: [email protected]

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Hey, all! I never know how to begin or end things (story of my life) but I’m trying to work on changing that aspect of myself. So with that being said, welcome!

Where to begin?
This podcast initially was my intro into discussing rapid life changes, especially as you got older. I’m in my thirties, and while I enjoy getting older — I started feeling suffocated by a life that didn’t seem to fulfill me. At the same time, i was meeting people (younger and older) who were living life on their terms and saying fuck it and doing them. I found that interesting and wanted to explore that and thus, the initial idea of "Getting Your Sh*t Together was born!"

But wait, what happened tho?
Well, life did. After a series of mishaps throughout the course of the past ten years, I took stock of where I was late last year and realized I needed to get my act together for my sake. First step, cutting out alcohol completely. I decided to do what a lot of folks do for the new year, I gave up drinking (again) for Sober January. Throughout all of that, I looked back at how alcohol has served my life (it hadn’t) and how it shaped the person I was to that point.

Okay, but now what bih?
Coming to terms with the idea that I didn’t relate to alcohol in a healthy way wasn’t overnight and it's still something I'm working through but instead of keeping it all in my head, I decided to go against my usual and talk about it. So, here it is in all it's swear-worthy glory. I'm not perfect, I don't always get it right but I'm honest about it -- which I couldn't say this same time last year. #progress

Looking forward to connecting along the way. Feel free to review, comment or provide suggestions of things you want to hear me discuss.
IG: gettingyourishtogether
Email: [email protected]

Support the show