Lockdown 3 here we goooooo - we’re recording separately, AGAIN. And this time Charlie’s at her home in London so uh, enjoy the train ASMR! We’re talking about Hannah stalking Joanna Lumley, Charlie getting ghosted by Dylan Llewellyn, Charlie ghosting a podcast listener, Charlie loving trains, how we’re both secretly spies, oh and also some Harry Potter. ENJOY!

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Merch

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Ola! In today's episode we're chatting about chapter 6 of the Order of the Phoenix, plus a huge long rant at the end about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. We're talking about Voldemort nuking people, the 'pure blood' claim making NO sense, and drinking more White Claw! Enjoy!

Merch

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It's that festive time of year again and we're back with our Christmas Fanfiction challenge. We asked our patreons to submit prompts and then gave ourselves 10 minutes to write a festive fanfiction using a randomised character, place, object and spell! Expect chaos, gay stories, a worrying concoction of our past drinks and Aberforth's favourite goat. Oh and for some reason we thought we were sober when recording this ... spoiler warning: we weren't!

Merry Christmas everyone xxx

Merch

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Hello, we're drinking WHITE CLAW!! Anddddd talking about chapter 5 of the Order of the Phoenix! And going on a few tangents. We're talking about how wild the OOTP probably is, wife swapping, mad eye moody being everyone's dad, Hermione being a pick me girl, and Molly's labour.

Merch

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We're back and getting in the festive spirit already drinking Bailey's Hot Choc at the request of Veera! In today's ep we're chatting chapters 3 & 4 of Order of the Pheonix, about our love of Tonks, Hermione's lack of background story, and answering what we'd use the pensieve for.

Merch

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TW: Themes of abuse throughout the episode

Season 5!!!! Who'd have thunk it? Not us! To kick off the new season we're drinking Fireball Whiskey at the request of Patron Jaclyn and chatting about the first two chapers of Order of the Pheonix, which is mostly us raving about Mrs Figg and her cats. We're talking about Uncle Vernon abusing everyone in his life, growing up in the countryside, and the oh so innovative use of 'you're gay' as an insult.

Merch

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WE'VE RELEASED MERCH! That's right, we FINALLY did it, we finally got our arses in gear and created some merch. You can check it out at the link below, you can shop by design and then pick what product you'd like the design to appear on. We hope you like it!

gobletofwine.redbubble.com

It's time for an episode we've both eagerly anticipated - Goblet of Fire - THE FILM! We're chatting about the worst film in the entire Harry Potter series, the rampant sexism, Hermione being annoying AF, and the COMPLETE lack of plot. I honestly can't list the things we hate about this film. Just listen.

The fanfiction Hannah was talking about at the end is called Dumbledore's Army and the Year Of Darkness. It's not been deleted off FF.net but I've tracked down this apparently illustrated pdf on goodreads which I can't vough for but from a quick glance looks the same (a content warning - the fic is relatively graphic in terms of violence - https://www.goodreads.com/ebooks/download/10207687-dumbledore-s-army-and-the-year-of-darkness) 

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We finished another book?! Who'd have thunk it!! Not bad for a dumb bitch who can't read and...Hannah. Tune in for this episode where we're chatting chapters 36 & 37 of Goblet of Fire and announcing the results of the house cup. We also chat about Fawkes the Phoenix, the government and capitalism, and beanie babies. So grab a glass and listen along, and most importantly, GET EXCITED FOR SEASON 5!!!

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So we *do* love a ramble but we really may have outdone ourselves this episode, so buckle up for FIFTEEN MINUTES of us talking about *literally* anything other than the chapters we’re supposed to be discussing this episode...but that’s okay because you guys love us for the drunken rambling...right? Right?! Okay whatever. We’re chatting about chapter 35 (that’s right it’s a rare one chapter episode) of goblet of FIRE and whether Voldemort thinks he’s evil, why Sting from the police is a serial killer, and also explaining why neither of us like Lord of the Rings.

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