It’s time for another episode with everyone’s FAVOURITE guest - Neil MacQuarrie! So get ya bingo cards or shot glasses ready for every time we mention Game of Thrones, Doctor Who or Star Wars. We’re chatting chapters 27 and 28 of Goblet of Fire, including discussing the origin of scarlet women, Snape’s virginity, cum socks, and the magical postal system. Enjoy!

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WE'REEE BACK!! AND WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM! That's right, after almost 5 months we're finally back, 2 meters apart, and recording TOGETHER. To celebrate get ready for THE DRUNKEST EPISODE EVER! Ft us doing shots in a park, drinking out of a cock bottle in a park, and generally getting glared at by half of South London (especially Neil). We're asking important questions such as 'what're the chances of a chicken egg from the supermarket hatching' (ft egg expert Neil), the importance of teaching children to swim (ft swimming expert Hannah), and...Charlie has no special skills. At some point we do also talk about Harry Potter.

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*to the tune of the final countdown* It's another episodeeeeee, dun na naaa. This isn't just any episode, it's an M&S epi...no sorry it's an episode where we're announcing the house cup!! That's right! Tune in to discover which house won this season and who our new prefects and head human is! Plus hear our usual waffle about death hoola hooping around the divination tower, school discos, house elves as a metaphor for slavery, and good ol' MISOGYNY.

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Ello ello ello. What's that? You want another episode to relieve you from lockdown hell? WELL OK FINE. We're chatting chapters 19 & 20 of Goblet of....FIRE. Aka all things the first task, ethics in journalism, and transfiguration and dogs rights. Enjoy!

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Helllllo! Welcome back to another lockdown long distance GoW episode! In today's ep Charlie is drinking tubby custard, and we're chatting how degrees don't matter, arse vs ass, Hogwart's badge craze and how Rita Skeeta is a pedophile. If that sounds like fun then grab a glass and listen along!

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It's time for another quarentine episode! In today's ep we're reading chapters 15 & 16 of Goblet of Fire and chatting the national anthem, the imperius curse, butterfly hair clips, hating the french, and finding out which piece of me Hannah would chop off if she had to.

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Welcome to the first ever episode NOT RECORDED TOGETHER :( That's right, me and Hannah are doing some fun lockdown style long distance recordings. This episode may break our record for the episode we talk about Harry Potter the least in. Instead, we're talking about the British educational system, Charlie's teeth, Hannah looking after snails, and we read our BIRTH CHARTS! Because astrology is definitely...real. ENJOY!

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It's us again! We're back with an episode that was pre-recorded before the entire country went into lockdown...yay. We're chatting about chapters 11-12 of Goblet of Fire, about how Charlie lives in a hole, ranting about British Geography and travel logistics (YOU CAN'T GET A TAXI FROM DEVON TO KINGS CROSS!!!), Draco's obsession with Harry, and the death troll. This episode also features a beautiful rendition of the sorting hat song by Hannah.

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Sorry if you’re listening to this for a distraction from Corona Virus because we mention it within the FIRST FIVE SECONDS. Aside from our blissful naivety about COVID-19, we’re talking about Ron’s big...feet, JK Rowling’s questionable metaphors, how all Veela are lesbians, and most importantly - David Tennant’s tongue. We also have Tiktok now if you want to see us embarrass ourselves on there.   

Trigger warnings: 

18.30 - TW sexual harrasment/assault start 

20.30 - end 

21.55 - TW start again 

22.36 - TW rape 

24.35 - end

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