Goblet Of Wine: A Drunken British Harry Potter Podcast

Goblet Of Wine: A Drunken British Harry Potter Podcast

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Goblet Of Wine: A Drunken British Harry Potter Podcast episodes

  • Ep 27 - Prisoner of Azkaban 11&12: Nuggets

    Guten tag! Today me and Hannah are potentially starting World War 3 over our misguided attempt to pay tribute to Germany. We're drinking some...interesting German booze called 'Jagdstolz' and eating some authentic German Haribo courtesy of our wonderful listener Fiona! We’re chatting about Hannah’s obsession with tea, what our Patronus memories would be, how you can wank away depression and…nuggets.

    www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

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    34 min
  • Bonus Ep - ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
    Much like Harry when he was left on a doorstep in late October to freeze to death and have his frozen body punted across the lawn by the front door opening in the morning, the podcast is A YEAR OLD!!!! Wow, wasn’t that a tenuous segue? THAT’S RIGHT! It’s been a whole year since me and Hannah first put out our awful, drunken takes on Harry Potter for the world to listen to, and somehow so far no one has stopped us - not even a time travelling version of our future selves or one of JK Rowling’s lawyers. So to celebrate a year of giving our largely unwanted opinions we’re coming at you with a bonus episode! Listen to us record a special episode whilst on instagram live, including: much reminiscing, answering YOUR Q&A’s, and answering Harry Potter themed ‘fuck, marry, kill’ voice notes from our Patreon supporters. Featuring classic moments such as us struggling over a dick shaped bottle, attempting to do American accents, and doing many, many shots.
    www.gobletofwine.co.uk  
    patreon.com/gobletofwine   
    Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   
    Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast
    www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast
    1 hr 50 min
  • Ep 26 - Prisoner of Azkaban 9&10: Stabbed In The Eye With A Turkey Twizzler

    Hannah has many talents. Unfortunately, as we discover in this episode, making cocktails is not one of them. Yep, that's right, in today's episode we're drinking homemade Butterbeer to celebrate the trio drinking Butterbeer for the first time in these chapters. Only it's two recipes that Hannah made up, and can only be described as if someone has cummed an egg into a beer. I don't recommend you recreating them, but if anyone does want to, here are the recipes: 

    1. Ginger beer, shot of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Caramel Vodka, egg white, vanilla extract
    2. Beer, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Toffee Liqueur, egg white
    3. When we’re not gagging on Hannah’s vile creations, we’re going full British by discussing turkey twizzlers (and alienating every non-UK listener in the process), getting wayyy too into an idea for a Hermione/Wood smut fan-fiction, pondering over whether repair-o would fix a hymen, and drunkenly being completely unable to say any character names correctly. Also, due to the political state of the UK, me and Hannah are looking to get married to anyone with an EU passport. Please email us with serious enquiries only.

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      46 min
    4. Ep 25 - Prisoner of Azkaban 7&8: It Pees When I Burn

      Ello ello ello. It’s time for another episode of Goblet of Wine. Today we’re spicing it up with special guest Sarah, aka Hannah’s “temporary-live-in-housemate” who since recording this episode has had a major life glow-up. We’re covering chapters 7 & 8 of Prisoner of Azkaban, chatting shit about chlamydia, covering snakes in lube, boggArts, and Hannah’s passion for wood.

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      1 hr
    5. Ep 24 - Prisoner of Azkaban 5&6: I've Got A Dick In My Cup

      'ello. Welcome back, why have you come back? Never mind, we're glad you have. We're breaking our format today and putting down the booze for once...but it's okay, we're already smashed. Instead we're drinking TEA! I can tell what you're thinking, "oh wow, these girls are really committing to the whole 'we're British' theme." Well, not quite (but also yes, had we mentioned that we're English?). No, we're drinking tea because it's TEA LEAF READING TIME! That's right, it's Harry's first divination lesson, which can only mean one thing - we're getting our fortunes told. Aka drunkenly spilling tea everywhere and predicting Brexit and the Cats trailer. At some point we also discuss chapters 5 and 6 of Prisoner of Azkaban, apparently. Enjoy!

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      43 min
    6. Ep 23 - Prisoner of Azkaban 3&4: Prisoners of Ouzoban

      Fresh off the back of the excitement about our new microphones we’re here with an episode that we had to record THREE TIMES because we’re too stupid to use them correctly. To make up for it, we did an instagram live and did several shots of Ouzo as punishment and to make sure we were drunk enough for the episode to still be funny...hopefully it worked? Honestly it’s mostly just chaos (go figure). Join us as we chat about Harry whoring himself out on the streets, debate what goes on inside Fudge’s head, compare owls to eggs and chat about FANNIES. Please don’t unsubscribe. 

      TW R*ape 25:30

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

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      58 min
    7. Ep 22 - Prisoner of Azkaban 1&2: Owl Orgies In Norfolk

      NEW AUDIO NEW AUDIO NEW AUDIO!

      Sorry we're a little bit excited about our NEW MICROPHONES! Now you can hear how posh and annoying we are IN HD!!! We're also super excited to finally be on Prisoner of Azkaban, aka the book where shit starts to get real. Join us as we discuss wax play, owl orgies, and monster book of monsters bondage as part of our quest to make this the least family friendly Harry Potter podcast ever. We also discuss some actual plot, and Hannah tells an excruiating story about what she had for breakfast and repeatedly refers to the Order of the Pheonix Dumbledore's Army because she's an IDIOT!

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      58 min
    8. Live from Draigcon! Ft Chris Rankin - Defending Percy Weasley

      We're back and this week we're FOBBING YOU OFF WITH A BONUS EP! So me and Hannah have lives outside of the podcast (shock, I know) and unfortunately due to a combination of work trips, Draigcon, and Hannah selfishly gallivanting off on holiday, we haven’t managed to record and edit a real episode yet. BUT we thought it was the perfect time to take a little break between books and to share one of the live recordings from this weekend at Draigcon. So in today’s episode we’re going to be discussing all things Percy Weasley, joined (at 12:00) by none other than the man himself Chris Rankin! It was meant to be a super deep moral discussion of the pros and cons of Percy Weasley, but Chris was a bad influence and it unfortunately descended into discussions of slash fiction, S&M dungeons and fisting.

      Follow Chris:

      twitter.com/chrisrankin
      youtube.com/thatgingerbloke
      www.chrisrankin.co.uk
      instagram.com/cwrankin

      Follow us:

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      47 min
    9. Ep 21 - Chamber Of Secrets Film: The One After Draigcon

      I'm going to be completely honest with you, we're uploading this just after Draigcon and we're exhausted to a level where I've only had time to proof listen to about 20-30 minutes of this episode. We discuss the second film, Chamber of Secrets, whilst hungover, and probably make a variety of sarcastic comments and sexual innuendos. Hannah probably makes a bunch of really smart and insightful comments about the makeup artistry, styling, and special effects used, and Charlie probably makes dick jokes and talks about which cast members she would or wouldn't fuck. You know, the usual.   

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      1 hr 5 min
    10. Ep 20 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 17&18: This Doesn't Seem Like Dying

      It's the end of Chamber of Secrets! This episode we're drinking cider as England is unusually sunny whilst record (and uploading!) this. Charlie for once has actually made plot notes and we're discussing the epic amount of foreshadowing in these chapters, horcruxes and finding out who Alexa's favourite Harry Potter character is!  

      www.gobletofwine.co.uk  

      patreon.com/gobletofwine   

      Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   

      Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast

      1 hr 11 min

    About Goblet Of Wine: A Drunken British Harry Potter Podcast

    From the publisher's feed

    Two British lifelong Harry Potter fans Hannah and Charlie re-read their favourite childhood book chapter by chapter with added alcohol and cynicism in fortnightly episodes!

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