Alice has a case of the Melonhead, and now she and Doug can't elope. Wait, what?

Other discussion topics may include:

- An episode dedicated to (yet only briefly mentioning) the NBA

- Getting filed and defiled at the dentist

- Gigantic, hideous face moles and the unfortunate podcast hosts who must hide them

- The seemingly untapped market of cartoon needles in Hollywood

- Dead tissue...down there

We talk about Alice's dentist again. And Paducah. They really are just founts of conversational intrigue.

Other discussion topics may include:

- The possibility of a Tarantino-Pixar collaboration

- How sad it is when a child actor grows up and doesn't get offered child parts anymore

- When demeaning nicknames sound right

- Neo-noir stoner flicks

- How the genius of Robert Palmer is giving back now more than ever

In this here episode, we ask perhaps the hardest hitting question we ever have asked: can...vegans...swallow? *wink wink nudge nudge*

It's all downhill from here! Wait, so does that expression mean it's easy peasy lemon squeezy now after all that trudging uphill? Or does it mean things are going to pot?

Other discussion topics may include:

- Does your own fruit count as a fruit?

- Krystal Meets White Castle:  The romantic comedy we've all been waiting for

- Competitive eating farm teams (or some combination of those words)

- All of the flavors of GI Joes you can handle

- The best restaurants to order hormonal birth control

This is the episode where Alice steals all of Doug's segments. 

Not like his thorax or abdomen, but like his bits. 

Not his gizzards and giblets, but like his -- oh whatever, just listen and find out.

Other discussion topics may include:

- What is a toy? Is a game a toy? Is a stick a toy? Are you a toy?

- A long overdue 30-second discussion about Connecticut's only city

- National Crush a Can Day (which isn't as lewd and sexy as it sounds)

- Unappealing chicken recipes that may or may not help with your sniffles

- Milked colons

You know what's interesting? Regular automobile maintenance. And vending machine snacks from the early-aughts. And admirably petty multi-million dollar lawsuits. Ooooh yeah....

Other discussion topics may include: 

- Mama's Family: A one-sided celebration of a forgotten masterpiece

- Giant tablets and macro Metamucil

- Things you can do with your arms

- Clan McClurkic and the Charge for Air: A Tire Saga

- Your local gas station's best deals on menstrual fountain cups

Happy 2nd Podcast-aversary to us! To celebrate, we invited thespian, power lifter, and Stephen King fan, Wendy Brown, to the pod! She's not a psychotic, deranged, ax-wielding fan. She just plays one on stage...

Other discussion topics may include:

- Kevin Costner's forgotten weightlifting movie

- Fart Thrower, The Occasional Blow, and other ineffective superheroes

- The best chicken and dog impressions you're likely to hear all hour

- What is your favorite animated kids' Stephen King movie?

- The unexpected difficulty of pretending you have things in your mouth

101 episodes in, and we're still finishing each other's complexly Oedipal eructions.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Video game farming, fishing, and dog bonding

- Human intervention's effect on elements of nature, such as microphones

- Who would you want to play your father in a basic cable mystery comedy?

- A deep discourse on chairs and their occasional unchairness

- The disappointment of "The Garbage Plate"

CONGRATULATIONS TO US ON 100 INANE, EDIFYING, SCATOLOGICAL, SESQUIPEDALIAN EPISODES OF GOING TERRIBLY!

To celebrate, we invited our first virtual guest! Doug's old friend and Actual Famous Person™, Jonathan Pretus, of the podcast Ranking the Beatles, the cover band Big in the 90s, and co-composer of "The Girls are Back in Town" performed by Chapel Hart on America's Got Talent!

Get ready for some fun Beatles-themed games and top-notch Bri-ish accents.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Just how comfortable is your favorite rock star's lap?

- How to borrow a friend's organ to make mouth music

- The remix to the ignition of the east coast/west coast rap wars

- Jonathan Lipnicki

- When is it okay to impersonate a member of Hoobastank? And why?

This is the episode in which we talk about grooming. Whichever kind you're thinking of, it's probably that.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Real fantasy lands and the imaginary authors who wrote about them

- Is it ever okay to throw your virility in someone's face? So to speak.

- The word "nefarious" is used a lot. Perhaps a nefarious amount. So if you like the word "nefarious" you should be happy about how often you hear "nefarious" in this episode

- Precocious children and vulgar grandmothers

- What makes a pirate want to kill a boy? And, really, could it just be the boy's fault?

Doug has never taken to the skies, so he thought that the way Baggage Claims are depicted in media was just abbreviated versions of a meticulous real-life process of matching each individual passenger's claim check with their rightful bags. But no. It's all a lawless free-for-all, and any sociopath can just walk in and take a bag off the carousel just because they could.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A failed modern day comparison to Les Miserables

- Stephen King's most underrated novel about a haunted shopping receptacle

- Air guitar injuries

- Vanilla Carlton and the Thousand Mile Poop

- A quick walrus joke that was made before Freya's murder (like most people with even an iota of compassion, we're pretty ticked at Norway right now)