Welcome to Hella Burgers! We are joined this week by DRK WTR keyboardist Alexander Hellenberg! AKA Ajax AKA The Myth AKA The Man Behind the Curtain. So brush up on your Florida Man news because we've got GAMES.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A preview of the hot new summer drama "Parkview Palace Place"

- The legalities of aerial moose poop

- Igneous Rock vs. Igneous Pop: A musical feud for the ages

- Could God convince you to become vegetarian? What about a plane crash? Or, like, some crazed geese?

- A proposed battle between all living Alexes, for there can be only one

Mr. and Ms. Lonely Hearts regale you with tales of solo dining – both embarrassing and triumphant. Alice gets kudos for being an excellent parallel parker, and Doug...ALSO gets kudos...for having a wang large enough to knock over a Great Dane.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Friends who don't like hot chocolate. Or love.

- The world is currently out of apples and we just now noticed.

- The deliciousness of a good old fashioned Irish potato mash fried

- Fitting in spots you shouldn't. (Heh)

- Hard brakers...sweepstakers...camp fakers talkin' Serendipity 

Would you lick a ranch-flavored diamond? Would you risk a concussion for some sweet, sweet frozen yogurt? Would you try that funny but ultimately debunked post-mortem meme prank of eating a bunch of unpopped popcorn kernels before you die so that when you go into the crematorium, your body will erupt in a mound of fluffy popcorn? 

If you would, then you're our people. Thanks for listening.

Other discussion topics may include:

- What if all the people who service you could hear all your grievances about them?

- Can you sit on a cloud in Heaven? Or will the afterlife unexpectedly suck?

- Uninterrupted eye contact: Reward, punishment, or art?

- If you pass away, which part of you will your cat consume first?

- Butt stuff on stage

Have we, as a collective nation, forgiven John Wilkes Booth for shooting Andrew Lincoln yet? Or U2 for forcibly stuffing our music libraries with Songs of Innocence? Or people in general for using the word acronym when they actually mean abbreviation? All this and more...

Other discussion topics may include:

- Baltimore Oreos vs. New York Twinkies: What's your favorite baseball dessert?

- Why older people are so much easier to handle when they're good and liquored up

- How soon is too soon to make jokes about angel food cake?

- Tragic films, infuriating commercials, and bloody Sundays

- How to show someone you love them by holding up poster boards, just like everyone else

Is there ever a good way to break up with your hair stylist? What exactly are microblading and microthreading all about? Is it possible to "lift" someone else's fingerprints with Scotch tape and plant them at a crime scene? Leave us a voice mail if you know the answers to any of these questions.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Human life before world-changing technologies like automobiles, television, and towel tablets

- One-sixteenth of a 14-ingredient Belgian waffle recipe

- Penises, and if you should slice them

- Old people names, like "Ann Marie," "Beatrice," and "Doug"

- How your young child could be framing Vanna White for murder

This week's episode is *suspenseful* y'all. What's in the tub? WHAT'S IN THE TUB?! Where's Alice's hair part going next?! And is Stonehenge a wheel? All this hot goss and more!!!

Other discussion topics may include:

- What is a "nutty" flavor? Is it, ya know...dirty?

- 16-wheeled 18-wheelers

- Full Moon Saloon: werewolf bar or gay bar?

- The best ways to make mutant babies

- Seriously, though, what DOES the fox say? Is it "Woot?"

There are so many random, niche holidays today. You're gonna wanna celebrate lima beans, mom's spaghetti, and foreskin. Just let it all hang out.

Other discussion topics may include: 

- The deep conspiracy involving microphone bias

- A grassroots campaign to adorn old statues with jean shorts

- Podcast popularity within the dairy free community

- Age appropriate mooning

- What's your favorite kind of nut punch?

It's not April, everyone. Someone broke into your house and hacked into your Cloud and set all your clocks and digital devices back one month. Now you have all this extra time to accomplish what you've really needed to...

Listen to our all singin', all dancin', April Fool's guest takeover on The Center Cut podcast where Michael and Dave watched a 30-minute, context-free chunk of classic musical "Singin' in the Rain" WITHOUT SOUND and had us quiz them on ladies' fashions, ladder seduction 101, and adult dioramas.

Full episode came out last Wednesday, and new minisode is out this Wednesday! Crap of the world indeed... https://open.spotify.com/show/6MKhagaIgXF6gHVhcoI0Vh

Oh, and here's our regular episode too. Yeah, give that a listen too. 

Other discussion topics may include:

- How hiccups can be a gateway contraction to murder

- The difference between a sweet orange and a Jewish one

- Life changing revelations about M&Ms

- How Marvel stole their ideas of an all-inclusive universe from Wacky Races

- Tyrannical geniuses like Gene Kelly, Pauly Shore, and Bugs Bunny

Alice gets her chompers polished, and Doug relives the trauma that is Homecoming Spirit Week. Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News makes an entrepreneurial return, and SOMEBODY DIES.

Other discussion topics may include:

- What does space cola taste like? Cookies and cream? Cough syrup? Bunny rabbits?

- A tribute to those killed in the 1970s, such as President "Honest" Andrew Lincoln

- What is your favorite flavor of shoe polish?

- How to tell if your dentist knows too much about you

- Guess how many beans are in this episode for your chance to win!

GFDF*† Josh Weiland comes on the pod and cheats at all the games. 

Other discussion topics may include:

- The unexpected pride of being a nimrod

- A glimpse into Hitler's eighth birthday

- Words people don't like, such as "moist," "panties," and "Hoobastank"

- How to go down with integrity. So to speak.

- Comparing alcohol to slurpees so a 5-year old can understand its deliciousness

*Gluten Free Dairy Free

†God F***ing Damn F***ing