Thanks for your response to my email.  I had a good week last week.  I seemed to have dropped into a space where all there really was was 'right here, right now' and not much else.  For whatever reason, it was almost like my unhelpful thinking just wasn't 'taking hold', wasn't sticking.  Fear thoughts just passed by without anything grabbing onto them.  It felt like I couldn't have 'terrorised myself' even if I'd wanted to.  And all with little or no effort. 

Then, after a boozy night on Saturday everything seems to have fallen apart again.  Feels like almost back to square one.  Yesterday was a constant battle to 'just be in the body and feel whatever comes up without judging'.  I was like a cat on a hot tin roof.  Today I'm not a lot better either even though I had an alcohol free night ( I sound like a right old boozer, but the reality is that I only drink at the weekends and have no issue not drinking.  The point is that if I'm prone to occasionally getting a taste for it and overindulging when I do drink - then I feel toxic the next day and the impact is even more psychological than physical).  I should say that when this happened I didn't fall out with anyone, upset anyone or do anything that could have made me feel guilty. Just me feeling crap after one too many.

I'm not sure how I get back to that place of clarity.  On the one hand I know that it's there, because I've experienced it. On the other it's clear that at the moment it is easily lost.  Feeling a bit discouraged.