That is one thing I find very hard to come to terms with re non duality - love.  The love I feel for my husband feels/is so real, just as I am certain sure is the love you feel for your children.  I'm struggling to accept how the reality of our deepest, most "meaningful" relationships seems to evaporate along with everything else in this understanding.  But there's no understanding of this unfathomable-ness we find ourselves in that can render the desolation of those we love's death any the easier to bear, is there?