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What's worse than a movie that doesn't live up to its trailer? This week on "Hey, Watchin' with Dan and Tony," we tackle the disappointment that is Eli Roth's "Borderlands." Despite the vibrant and promising trailer, the actual film left us yearning for something more fun and entertaining. We break down the forced performances from Jamie Lee Curtis and the actress portraying Tiny Tina, and can't help but express our regret over choosing this film. Spoiler: the stark contrast between expectation and reality is staggering.

Ever wondered how dynamite relates to the Nobel Prize, or laughed at the absurdity of an action sequence? We certainly did as we dissected a movie featuring a quirky, bomb-loving character and his baffling escape from a glass prison. From improbable loyalty born of shared fruit to inexplicable plot holes, we analyze the quirky logistics and historical tidbits about dynamite with equal parts humor and critique. The action sequences might leave your head spinning, but our take on them will leave you chuckling.

From illogical character decisions to robots with 36-year waits, we review some of the most perplexing plot holes and scenes in recent memory. We discuss the bizarre choices made by characters, the robot's odd behavior, and humorous moments like a robot scanning while singing. Moving on, we share nostalgic anecdotes, compare big-budget films, and give our latest TV recommendations, including a Halloween pick to get you into the spooky spirit. All this and more, so tune in and enjoy the ride with Dan and Tony!

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What happens when a movie starring Nicholas Cage as a flame-headed biker fails to ignite the same excitement as Iron Man? This week, we roll up our sleeves and prepare for Halloween with a critical and comedic review of the 2007 Marvel superhero film, Ghost Rider! We kick off by pitting Ghost Rider against Iron Man, marveling at the stark differences in quality, execution, and impact, even though they were released just a year apart. We take you through the wild ride of Johnny Blaze's transformation, the lackluster portrayal of the Devil by Peter Fonda, and the baffling transition from young Johnny Blaze to Nicholas Cage. 

Prepare for some laughs as we highlight the absurdity of the plot and characters—from Johnny's implausible discovery of his father’s cancer diagnosis to the daredevil's contradictory stunts. We dive into the film's few redeeming moments, like the high-octane motorcycle jump set to "Crazy Train" and the introduction of quirky characters like Blaze’s manager, Mac, and the rain-emerging villain, Dark Duskman. We don't shy away from scrutinizing the dynamics of the elemental villains and poking fun at the odd interactions and props, such as Johnny Blaze’s “swagger stick” and Eva Mendez's character, Roxy's, lost demeanor.

As we bring our analysis to a close, we take a hilarious journey through Johnny Blaze’s epic motorcycle chases, his playful banter with Roxy, and the quirky elements Nicolas Cage brought to the character. We also touch on the film's chaotic narrative, jarring pacing, and the peculiar logic behind Ghost Rider’s abilities. Finally, we wrap up with some chatter about TV shows and movies, including the latest season of "Only Murders in the Building" and the new "Borderlands" movie. Join us for a rollercoaster of an episode filled with critiques, laughter, and reflections on this chaotic Marvel film.

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What happens when Hollywood's relentless production machine churns out both cinematic gold and forgettable flops? Join us for a spirited episode of Hate Watching with Dan and Tony, where we put the spotlight on Paul Feig's "Lady Ghostbusters" and "Bridesmaids" before diving headfirst into the action comedy "Jackpot" starring Awkwafina, John Cena, and Simu Liu. We debate whether Simu Liu's career choices, particularly his roles in "Shang-Chi" and "Barbie," have hit the mark and compare "Jackpot" to Mark Wahlberg's less adventurous "The Union". Expect no-holds-barred opinions and plenty of laughs as we dissect these films.

Ever wondered how a dystopian lottery in 2030 California would play out? Spoiler: it’s bizarre. Our next discussion tackles the perplexing plot of "Me Time," where lottery winners must survive attempts on their lives without guns. From implausible rules to societal acceptance of this deadly game, we break down the many logical gaps and absurdities that make this film a head-scratcher. We even brainstorm alternative plot ideas, debating whether altruistic stakes could have saved this narrative disaster.

As we wrap things up, we explore unexpected plot twists and character dynamics in various films, including one where a sweet old lady is revealed to be a thief and potential killer. John Cena's Ninja Turtle fandom and a humorous escape room scenario add layers to our critique. We also revisit memorable celebrity cameos and crude jokes, analyzing how these elements contribute to—or detract from—the films' entertainment value. Whether it's chaotic museum fights or missed opportunities for stronger character development, this episode is packed with insightful commentary and comedic banter that you won't want to miss.

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Ever wondered how Mark Wahlberg and Halle Berry would fare in a spy romance? Buckle up as we dissect the Netflix movie "The Union" in our latest episode! We kick things off with some laughs and a bit of personal reflection on productivity before diving into the film's production quality, character dynamics, and the broader landscape of streaming content. From the highs of successful series like "Ted Lasso" to the sustainability of mid-tier productions, we leave no stone unturned. And yes, we're just as excited as you are about the possible return of Rebecca Ferguson in the "Mission Impossible" franchise!

But wait, there's more! We get downright critical about the love story between Wahlberg and Berry's characters. Is it believable? Spoiler alert: not really. We also touch on some casting choices that left us scratching our heads (Lorraine Bracco as Wahlberg's mom, anyone?) and point out the comedic elements that missed the mark. Whether it's the emotional depth of the characters or Wahlberg's character using a screwdriver to start his truck, we dissect it all with our signature blend of humor and candor.

And if you think that's the end of our rant, think again. We scrutinize the chaotic action scenes and convoluted spy plots, comparing them to classics like Jason Bourne. From thrilling chase sequences to implausible plot devices like the BT Tower's secret location, we break it all down. Plus, we chat about some recent TV shows and movies worth your time, including the Netflix series "Chaos" and the action-comedy film "Jackpot." So join us for a wild ride through the wacky world of "The Union" and beyond—you're in for a treat!

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What if you could revisit a 90s film in a way that reveals its most unsettling elements? Join us on this wild ride as we dissect "My Father the Hero," starring Gerard Depardieu and a young Katherine Heigl. We expose the problematic and cringe-worthy portrayal of Heigl's character, a 14-year-old girl uncomfortably sexualized throughout the movie. Reflecting on the golden hits of the 90s like "Shawshank Redemption" and "Jurassic Park," we argue that "My Father the Hero" is far from a classic. Embrace the generational clash as we explore how outdated norms in filmmaking clash with modern sensibilities.

Ever wondered how confusing character dynamics can derail a film? We break down Gerard Depardieu's enigmatic relationship with his on-screen daughter, Nikki, and dissect the perplexing plot choices. From a mysterious five-year absence to the bewildering addition of Emma Thompson as his girlfriend, we leave no stone unturned in our critique. And let's not forget the film’s laughably poor music choices—because nothing says "awkward" like a misplaced soundtrack.

Prepare for some serious head-scratching as we navigate through bizarre romantic subplots, unnecessary jealousy, and awkward jokes about underwear. We highlight the absurdity of the resort's single-bedroom suite arrangement and the chaotic talent show drama. Through all this madness, we humorously recount our own personal anecdotes and critique the unrealistic depiction of teenage romance and parental involvement. Stick around for a sneak peek at our next movie review, and join us in questioning the baffling decisions that make "My Father the Hero" a perplexing watch.

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What happens when one of us misplaces a phone and the other can't stop laughing about it? It sets the perfect stage for a lively discussion on the 2009 Nicolas Cage film, "Knowing." One host is captivated by the disaster sequences, while the other can’t get past Nicolas Cage's unlikeable character. We dissect the thematic elements, character arcs, and question the emotional depth of the film, keeping the conversation engaging and humorous throughout.

Travel back to 1959 with us as we unravel the mystery of Lucinda's ominous numbers in a time capsule, which resurface in 2009. We follow Caleb and his astrophysicist father John's journey to decode these numbers, analyzing foreshadowing elements, character development, and the film’s narrative choices. From Caleb's unexamined intelligence to his father's puzzling protective nature, we critically and comically examine the film's execution and storytelling inconsistencies.

We also cover dramatic and suspenseful scenes like a traumatic plane crash aftermath and a misunderstood subway station attack, discussing the film’s balance between realism and spectacle. We even touch on foreign film reviews, reality TV, and tease our next movie pick, the 1994 comedy “My Father the Hero.” Join us for a blend of critical insight, humor, and a call to support the show with your likes, comments, and subscriptions.

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Dan: @shakybacon
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Ever thought a street luge scene could leave you both laughing and scratching your head? Join us in this episode where we kick off with some light-hearted banter about the art of mid-day naps before diving into Tony's pick for the week—the 2002 remake of "Rollerball." We humorously dissect the film, focusing on Rebecca Romijn's enigmatic scar and the baffling character choices. Along the way, Dan shares some entertaining celebrity sightings, featuring his encounters with Rebecca Romijn and Owen Wilson right in his neighborhood, adding a fun twist to our movie critique.

As we navigate through the chaotic production history of "Rollerball," you'll get a front-row seat to our analysis of the film's jarring deviation from the original’s social commentary to a focus on mindless action and nudity. We also recount amusing run-ins with celebrities like Owen Wilson and Freddie Prinze Jr., emphasizing their unexpected charms. From high-stakes street racing scenes to absurd character decisions, we break down why this remake missed the mark, making for an engaging and thought-provoking discussion.

Finally, we bring nostalgia into play by reminiscing about the original "Rollerball" while humorously critiquing the modern elements in sports movies. We touch on everything from the illogical border chase scenes to a humorous exchange about the extended cut of "Rebel Moon" and even the intrigue surrounding Olympic breakdancing. Prepare for laughs, head-scratching moments, and a good dose of nostalgia as we navigate through a cinematic misstep and appreciate the quirks that come with it.

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Dan: @shakybacon
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What happens when you combine "Mad Max" with roller-skating orphans and a dash of Mel Brooks' production magic? You get the 1986 cult classic "Solar Babies," a movie so bizarre it had us questioning everything from the logic of "skateball" to the mystifyingly named characters. We kick off this roller-coaster critique with some laughs about a painful hike and sunburns, setting the stage for our deep dive into the chaotic creation and puzzling narrative of this curious film. It's a blend of missed opportunities and hilarious missteps, all set in a world where misfit kids try to escape their captors through the power of... roller skates?

In our detailed breakdown, we examine the lack of character development, the strange setting of an orphanage filled with amnesiac kids, and Jason Patrick's inexplicable awkwardness in a rain scene. We even explore the potential of "skateball" as a sport and the baffling setting of Tire Town. From the bridge crossing and Chikani camp attack to the magical elements and characters like "Darstar," we leave no stone unturned as we humorously critique these scenes. Mel Brooks' involvement and the film's many chaotic elements spark a lively discussion on what could have been if only the movie had a coherent vision.

Finally, we take on the film's confusing themes and unresolved questions. Why does Jason Patrick struggle to experience joy? What's the deal with Charles Durning's role as the warden? And how did a movie with such a promising concept end up so scattered and nonsensical? We also share thoughts on other sci-fi movies and our plans to revisit the classic "Rollerball." Join us for a fun, entertaining, and sometimes baffling critique of "Solar Babies," a film that's as unique as it is perplexing.

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What happens when a guy who used to make crates for an art handling company in 1997 starts a podcast? You get hilarious stories, like Dan reminiscing about his crate-making days with staple guns and glue, and Tony suggesting he should shift to making custom jigsaw puzzles. And wait till you hear the mix-up involving Tony's aunt's name! Before we know it, we’re back in Hollywood, with Tony unveiling the movie of the week, setting the stage for a wild ride through disaster movie land.

Our critique session kicks off with a bang as we compare the classic disaster flicks "Towering Inferno" and "The Poseidon Adventure" with modern hits like "Deep Impact" and "Twister." Then, we dive headfirst into the chaotic waters of "Speed 2: Cruise Control." We dissect its lack of tension, shoddy writing, and bizarre action sequences, all while sprinkling in intriguing tidbits about Jason Patrick’s high school days and his enigmatic persona. Get ready for our final verdict on why "Speed 2" sunk harder than the Titanic, from its illogical plot points to its almost comically bad scenes.

But hold onto your life vests, because it gets even crazier. We chew through the baffling nonsense of "Speed 2," from a boat rescue gone wrong to a deaf girl improbably escaping an elevator. We’ll have you laughing as we recount the chainsaw-wielding heroics and near-death propeller escapades. And just when you think it couldn't get any more outlandish, we wrap up with some YouTube channel highlights and a disappointing Olympic event. Don't miss our take on "Solar Babies" next week—it's going to be a roller-skating sci-fi riot!

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Dan: @shakybacon
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Is "John Carter" really the worst science fiction movie ever made? Join us as Dan and Tony go head-to-head on this polarizing film from 2012, dissecting its categorization as a science fiction western adventure. We'll delve into Taylor Kitsch's lackluster performance and James Purefoy's standout role, while also tackling the film's problematic title and baffling marketing campaign. Whether you think "John Carter" is a cinematic disaster or just a misunderstood gem, our heated debate is sure to entertain and provoke thought.

We also dig into the movie's narrative and character development flaws, examining how and why the adaptation veered so far from its beloved source material. From John Carter's inexplicable powers to the bizarre Martian reproduction concepts, we leave no stone unturned. Our discussion highlights the film's inconsistencies, such as the abrupt mastery of the Martian language and the failure to create a compelling foreign world. Comparing it to other sci-fi triumphs like "Avatar," we point out where "John Carter" missed the mark and speculate on what could have been done differently.

As we wrap up, we tackle the perplexing plot choices that plague the film, including repetitive escape sequences and illogical character decisions. We reflect on the impact of the movie's failure on the careers of its stars, while also speculating on upcoming films like "Twisters" and "Rebel Moon." To add some levity, we share quirky movie recommendations and highlight some entertaining YouTube content. Don't miss our engaging and humorous dissection of "John Carter" and more in this week's episode!

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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech

And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT