We cannot find outside of ourselves what we cannot find inside of ourselves and that means that our most important relationship is actually with...yourself. You need to have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can establish a healthy connection with others, and that often takes quite a bit of self-reflection to accomplish.

Six Steps to Healing

After thorough self-examination, you should be prepared to take action and make a change. These six steps will aid you through your healing process and help you to overcome past trauma.

1. Develop Your Awareness - You can’t heal trauma if you without recognizing the aforementioned signs that it is there. Once you’ve accomplished that, it is time to move forward from the harmful relationships in your past.

2. Be Understanding - Try to shift your perspective on the past and focus less on the pain, taking a more objective view of what happened. When you can apply logic and reason to a past relationship, it allows you to examine why your partner (or you) might have acted a certain way.

3. Have Compassion - Understand that we are all human and make mistakes, there is not a day that goes by without making a misstep. When we have compassion for ourselves and our past, that is when we are able to effectively connect with those around us. And having compassion for those who have done us wrong is important, as well.

4. Have Forgiveness - When you are understanding and compassionate, you are also empowered to forgive yourself. Shedding resentment for yourself and for others, even forgiving “the unforgivable”, is a freeing act.

5. Be Accountable and Learn - Practice asking yourself two questions about trauma in order to get past it: “What did I do to attract this to myself and what am I supposed to learn from this situation?” When you are able to find the light, love and lessons in a given event, you have taken control of it.

6. Transformation - Following those five steps gives you power over any trauma in your life, giving you the tools to overcome what’s holding you back, so you can thrive in the present.

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