"Christopher, is your shotgun loaded at this point?"

Christopher is pissed at himself for not being as pissed as he thinks he should be

"At this point you are stark raving mad, but you don't want anyone to know that."

Christopher didn't sleep well because his little girl is growing up

James dreams about Christopher

"You like big women?" "Well... no?"

I don't like to use the word dumb, but... yes, they were dumb

James is into nerdy girls

Christopher only likes the smart playboy models

James doesn't like Christopher's Intro/Outro

Christopher: "It's called dissonance." James: "That doesn't make it any better."

"Slap me after, not before"

Christopher cracks himself up

Christopher tries to explain music to James, but he just doesn't care

It's a hit with the youth

James doesn't mind getting songs stuck in his head, that's free radio!

James is an idiot savant without the savant

James admits to listening to Billy Squier and Christopher realizes he doesn't like James any more

Christopher laments James's terrible ear

Your State Flag sucks

Iceland, Greenland, and Arizona

Does the blue represent blue?

Christopher knows more about your flag than you do

Christopher read the whole encyclopedia, James just looked at the pictures

We explain to the kids what an encyclopedia is and its implications on social status

Macmillan Visual Dictionary (pic)

Encyclopedias had no auto update. You lived with what you had.

James's father speaks Ancient Greek. Not sure why, but there it is.

Christopher is spacey

Astronomers on TikTok

Ship High In Transit is bullshit - @jesszafarris

Shit means shit

Beowulf was not written by Shakespeare, but James is too dumb to know that

From Beowulf to The Office

James takes a hatchet to The Office (American version)

You can still steal cars in Rhode Island

Cars without USB ports aren't really cars

Bikini Beans - NO Sponge Bob here

"The Sweep" or, "Christopher's human evaluation system"

Nickle and diming a 10 year old is a bad look

"The fuzzy one?"

"Toys for children, made by children"

James: "I am much less attractive, why are you looking at me?"

Maintaining eye contact and ogling at the same time

Shoe compliments work better on women than on men

"I'm wearing Birkenstocks."

Christopher bought his first new "car" when he was 11 years old and it was a motorcycle (Kawasaki KX80).

Lying to the PennySaver

Christopher's Honda MR50 that his Dad gave him

Quirky things from the 70s and 80s - Motocompo - Honda's little motorcycle that fit in their little car

Christopher's first "car" - Ford F150

Christopher has destroyed a lot of beautiful cars (1967 powder yellow Mustang Coupe)

James's woeful tale of the stolen car

How to destroy a car in three easy steps

Oh sure, they 'bought' the stereo

Our Weekly Public Service Announcement: Cars over 10 (now 20) years old are fair game in Rhode Island

A gate won't stop James, he's free range

Christopher: "There aren't that many blonde male leads." James: "I guess I'm just not interested in this topic."

From thrasher to business man to guru all to get chicks

Hippies ended up on Wall Street

We all need you Christopher

Totally façade

Saying something nice about Trump is hard, but James is trying

Trump's political success is based on his next level understanding of American TV news media

The rural vs urban divide is a divide of language

A true tale of racism which turns out to be completely incomprehensible because racism is, essentially, incomprehensible.

A suntan is the racial dividing line

People like Socialism because they haven't been to a Socialist country

Americans are not all the same

Parisians are jerks, but the French are OK

From Trump to Hobbits

Christopher wants to be a Hobbit (or at least eat like one)

Giant Snicker bars are not a meal Christopher!

James hates candy

When does candy stop and chocolate begin?

James simply does not understand cotton candy, marshmallows, or candy

"There are a lot of different hamburgers out there."