Heaving Bosoms

Hey HBs! Mel's here with gueesstttssss! BFFs of Mel and the pod Jenny Nordbak and Katee Robert (of Bonkers Romance) are here to recap the movie Challengers, starring the one and only Zendaya. Jenny and Mel had no idea what they were in for and BOY did this romantic psychological thriller deliver. It's so sexy! And messy! And mean! And baffling! And we loved it.

Just a quick note: Mel had some ridiculous audio and recording issues, so (even with a lot of intervention) the sound quality isn't up to our usual standards, but she worked hard to make the best of it and get you this excellent episode!

We're at the tail end of Bonkers' 2024 Kickstarter THE BLACK ROSE AUCTION, so don't miss it! They've curated 6 incredibly sexy fairytale retellings centered on an illicit auction with special edition books, swag, and so much more! The campaign ends on June 26th, 2024 at 5pm PST!

Lady Loves:

Jenny: Karen Marie Moning's upcoming release THE HOUSE ON WATCH HILL!

Katee: the horror romance THEN EARTH SWALLOWED OCEAN by Shiloh Sloane. Check the CWs because it's DARK and TWISTY and WTF!

Mel: The Ultimatum South Africa on Netflix and the Black Rose Auction! Seriously, go back the Kickstarter before it's too late!

Want more of Jenny and Katee? Visit their websites, subscribe to their newsletters, and follow on social media!

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Hey HBs! We're here with masterpiece of sorcery! Emma Hamm's WHISPERS OF THE DEEP took every single one of Sabrina's phobias and said we shall overcome with seggsy swooniness! It's a monster romance between a merman and a human deep, DEEP under the sea. Like, in the vast deep. He kidnaps her to get information that his people will use to destroy hers, he thinks every part of her body is disgusting, and this can only end in one of their deaths... unless she teaches him how to kiss! Get stoked, y'all.

Bonus Content: Mel takes sleep terrorism to new levels, Sabrina literally overcomes all of her worst fears for this book, and so much more!

Don't miss out on our Patreon-Only events! This Friday, June 21st, is our author hang with MA Wardell at 8pm EST! And NEXT Friday, June 28th, is our next watch party of the Lizzie McGuire Movie! Patrons at the $10 level and up get to attend live and everyone else can watch it back!

Lady Loves:

Mel: Audiobook Box Sets and Wood Chippers! Mel borrowed a legit-eat-everything-wood-chipper and used those hours outside with her noise-cancelling headphones to listen to audiobook box sets on Hoopla! Big thanks to Erika Wilde and Carly Phillips for their box sets of Made for the Mafia series, the Indecent series, and the Complete Book Boyfriend series. YOWZA!

Sabrina: The second book in this series SONG OF THE ABYSS. It's Daios's book!!!!!!

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Hey HBs! We're here with a contemporary sapphic romance! It's a fake relationship extravaganza with a buttoned-up couple's counselor and a cool, alt actor.

CW: Mel got really triggered by this book, so look out for discussions of disordered eating, diet culture, rampant fatphobia, and more.

Bonus Content: Mel cut her own hair!, where is all the roller skating the cover promised?, moaning in front of strangers in the workplace, and more!

Lady Loves:

Mel: Cut your own hair and liberate your neck if it's hot! And DNF if you need to.

Sabrina: using technology to be a chaotic neutral gremlin. The person who did this is a champion.

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Hey HBs! We're back with another book we didn't know was part 1 of a 4 part series with the same couple. WHOOPS, but no regrets. BENEATH BLACK SAILS by Clare Sager is a historical fantasy pirate adventure with a famous pirate queen and the pirate hunter sent to take her down. This heroine is brash and fun and we can't get enough of her.

Bonus Content: we're hot messes who got suckered!, this dedication slayed us, this took Mel back to Dangerous Tides, he's the epitome and she's the definition, Sabrina drops the beans, Valor is the main character in all our stories, we're gonna riot, and so much more!

Lady Loves:

Sabrina: super duper freezing cold water. 'Tis the season!!!

Mel: THE BLACK ROSE AUCTION Kickstarter by Bonkers Romance! I decided to step away from the project this year, but Jenny and Katee have done AMAZING things with this collection of books! Each one is a fairytale retelling set at an illicit, underground auction and, y'all, they've leveled up. The art, swag, and book design are so sleek and classy, and the tagline "morally gray and getting darker" makes me drool. You have to check it out! It launches tomorrow, June 4th, so don't miss it!

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Hey HBs! This week we've got a delicious contemporary lesbian romance: D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding by Chencia C. Higgins! This perfect morsel has so many things we love! Reality TV, fat rep, queer rep, overcoming religious trauma, loving and eccentric families, and WOWZA the spicy times are faaaantastic. This is a hard recommend from us!

Bonus Content: Mel just like her drinks dry, Sabrina can't handle a mid-recording puck of Mexican hot chocolate, Mel fancast this book: D'Vaughn is Susie Dahl and Kris is Mal Wright, Mel can't shut up about The Ultimatum: Queer Love, butch lesbians in short-sleeved button downs, Sabrina is frozen by reality tv chatter, and so much more!

Lady Loves:

Sabrina: We started recording one year ago! And having to read all of these books so closely has added a wonderful layer to her experience.

Mel: We got a wonderful review that called us "saucy, cheeky, and oh-so-deliciously naughty" and I'm DEAD!!! THANK YOU to everyone who reviews us online!

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Hey HBs! We're here with the contemporary Scottish romance ON DUBLIN STREET by Samantha Young! It's Edinburgh, it's family tragedy, it's basing life decisions on great bathtubs. There's an emotionally skittish heroine, an alpha hero who's eight years older, a friends-with-benefits arrangement, and a little too much boundary pushing for Mel's complete comfort. And we knew this before, but we pinpoint one of the ways subgenre impacts reader expectations!

Bonus Content: eyeball cupcakes, trip planning, Veronica's Dragon, Mel's a hypocrite, subgenre matters, Sabrina's gets caught being a creepy old lady at the car wash, never meet a mortal man, tackling with blow job jokes, alphas with emotional intelligence, and Anirbas makes her glorious return!

Lady Loves:

Sabrina: Gatorade in tiny bottles! It stays super cold the whole time she's drinking it, which is delicious!

Melody: the nostalgia-fest of Two Friends Big Bootie Mixes! Listening to volume 11 facilitated the best workout class she's had in a long time!

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Wooo! HBs we're here with book 1 of the Victorian Rebels series, THE HIGHWAYMAN by Kerrigan Byrne. We loooooved this book! As Sabrina is a longtime Kerrigan Byrne fangirl, it's not a shock. We've got a childhood-spouses-to-lovers book that knocked our socks off! But yikes, it gets dark.

Lady Loves:

Sabrina: if you're lonely, but don't have anyone around physically, get on a video call and play video games parallel to each other!

Mel: find the light in the dark when you can! Turns out, the best way to help midnight sobbing is Lemur Time.

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Hey HBs! In this episode, Sabrina and Mel recap DEATH'S OBSESSION by Avina St. Graves. It's a dark, paranormal, stalker romance that gave us KING OF FLESH AND BONE, SING ME TO SLEEP, and SOUL EATER vibes. Overall, they enjoyed the experience, but were generally underwhelmed. But! They talk a lot about reader "meters" and it's appropriately scientific and straightforward. During the episode, Sabrina's three pooches are competing in some serious doggy Olympics in the background, so there will be a bit of ambient noise, but we have to respect these athletes and their tenacity.

Bonus Content: Mel's still in a Theodora Taylor hole, our Smut Meters are broken, Smut Meter vs. Butterflies Meter vs. Shock Meter, this is a Shadow Daddy book, breakup semantics, sneeze feats, "dress me, daddy," dark tunnels, analog text responses, and so much more!

Lady Loves:

Sabrina: treat yourself to a shrimp boil for one! It doesn't have to be a social thing!

Mel: have yourself a good ol' fashioned Law & Order SVU marathon, or whatever is your equivalent to a show that feels like coming back to an old friend. It's great background noise while you do other things!

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Hey HBs! We're here with LOVE FOR THE COLD-BLOODED, OR THE PART-TIME EVIL MINION'S GUIDE TO ACCIDENTALLY DATING A SUPERHERO by Alex Gabriel! Boy, oh boy, this MM superhero fantasy novel is fan-damn-tastic; the voice is SO UNIQUE, the world-building is incredible, and the romance is SMOKING HOT. There's accidental sex work, it highlights the power of perspective, and someone puts quail eggs on pizza. Plus, FORCE FIELD S*X!

Bonus Content: rich boy pizzas, force field condoms, telling your employer to get better at dirty talk, frat house libraries, and so much more!

Lady Loves:

Mel: Do you have an upgrade available from your cellular company? Even if you don't have a black melting dick spot on your screen that makes your life incredibly inconvenient, see if you can upgrade to a better phone for free!!!

Sabrina: Microwave Popcorn! Good goddess microwave popcorn really hits the spot!!

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Hey HBs! We're here to recap JUST FOR THE CAMERAS by Viano Oniomoh! It's a fluffy contemporary with delicious and supported sex work, amazing communication, a sad sad Sebastian boy, best friendship goals, and an MMF menage that made us feel all gooey and sparkly inside. And WOW the hot hot sexy times! This is definitely an erotic romance.

Bonus Content: this is a giggly episode, sad boy catnip, dimple piercings, celebrations of beautiful fat bodies, Pavlovian Portraits, only one bed, two boys just cock-a-doodle-doing together, and so much more.

Lady Loves:

Sabrina - the path of totality. Sabrina went and experienced the solar eclipse with a friend and it was wonderful to be reminded that she's a tiny speck on a tiny speck of a universe!

Mel - get yourself 5 yards of mulch for your birthday! It's the BEST and moving it all in one day makes a person feel SUPER accomplished.

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