Heaving Bosoms

Hey HB's! This week we're FINALLY GETTING TO TANYA'S BOOK! Or rather, Part 1 of A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. It's a classic romance novel published in the 80's and it does not disappoint... if you're looking for rant-fodder from us! It involves a perpetually gaslit schoolteacher, a horrendous current beau, a hero from the 16th century who isn't much better, all the fat-shaming of children you've ever wished for, and time-travel via genital contact. 

Plus, Rooster the Dog had a lot to say about this book as well. She couldn't BELIEVE we didn't like it. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin - Don't think the self-love can't just be bath bombs and a little me time. Not all of us can be that blonde woman in stock photos with her arms outstretched in the sunset. We all try our best to create "a life you don't have to escape from," but everyone needs to be a little selfless and do some dirty jobs for society to function. Trekking across the world or doing a job that "serves you" is all well and good, but it's not an achievement.  

Also Erin - "Yes To" has a charcoal push-pop face mask that is SUBLIME. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey HB's! Erin and Melody are embarking on the crazy journey that is Patreon very soon, so we thought we should give you a taste of what you can unlock by getting on the bandwagon. This episode, we learn all about dueling, answer the mystery of the HB Universe "what does it mean to make oneself ready?!" and Erin concocts some truly ruthless Fuck/Marry/Kill brackets. 

Special thanks to Ann C, our resident dueling GURU! 

Keep being your bad-ass selves! 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey HB's! It's time for Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai. Join Reverends Erin and Melody as they discuss family redemption, spanking, tattoos, and various kinds of musks! Prepare yourselves, because like this book, this episode gets a little *real* about depression and relationships, but we haven’t wept openly in like five episodes so . . . we were due ;)

Self Love Recommendations:

Erin - Sleep! It'll mess you up if you don't get any.

Melody - Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. Read it, let it seep into your bones. 

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting - over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We're bringing you a monster-sized episode for our first sexy monster! **heart-eyed emoji**. Join us for Firelight by Kristen Callihan, a romance mystery set in Sherlock Holmes Times which may or may not have made us spontaneously combust a couple of times. Callihan is a master of "show, don't tell" and we were riveted for every moment. Plus, let's review: Sexy. Monster.

Read this book, y'all! Special thanks to Shante for recommending it! 

Bonus content: New dog Goat and other shenanigans. Also, if you can, donate to https://www.gofundme.com/giveherwings2018 a campaign by one of our former students to keep a safe house for victims of human trafficking and sex slavery open. Any amount, even the price of 1 book, will help! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: For the People. Watch TV lawyers be terrible at their jobs and never get disbarred! 

Melody: Don't fall asleep in the bath. She didn't die, but she definitely snort-splashed everywhere. 

 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey y'all! We're back to finish up Beard Science by Penny Reid. This thing has everything: bakery lingerie hustle, counter top make-outs, hot fantasies, adorable flirting, lady love, MORE blackmail, strife, redemption, and a heaping pile of bottom-of-the-heart LOVE! 

Bonus content: what movie would play Erin in a movie? Who was Melody REALLY in Grease? Flamingos versus Dragons, Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody, and all the rest of the nonsense you've come to expect from us. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Wear a face mask while watching Jessica Jones, y'all. It's good for your skin and your soul. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey HB's! We're back in Shark infested waters with Beard Science by Penny Reid. Cletus Winston in is the 3rd brother of 7 siblings in Green Valley, TN and he's the wiliest of the bunch. Meanwhile, Jennifer Sylvester is the Banana Cake Queen of Green Valley and Instagram infamy. Her Momma has BIG plans for her.  What started as a natural talent for baking has become a full-fledged exploitation situation. Can Cletus help her change her life and find out who she really is? A blackmail scheme just might entice him to help... and maybe just fall into the deep hue of impossible her purple eyes. 

This is a listener recommendation from Sallie of The Woolslayers youtube podcast! She and her friend Allen get together and talk about all the GORGEOUS projects they're doing. These ladies are super talented. 

Youtube Page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQM7hy84kFYZ5VHnI8VZ97Q

Instagram: @woolslayerspodcast

Bonus content: Melody has new holes in her face! Erin saw a big ol' baby on a flight. Fun with misheard lyrics. Rooster the Dog is having a hard time. Lotion?! Who needs lotion?! Could Erin and Melody run a cult together? What plays in Erin's head every time she badmouths Fiona? All that and WAY MORE.

Self Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Check out the spotify playlist "Reading Jane Austen at Downton Abbey" for a EXCELLENT music to read by. 

Melody: Have you wanted to do something and always held back? DO IT! Melody's piercings make her super happy.

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey HB's! Let's finish up Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean! When last we met, we left our fabulous heroine and her rake in a carriage on the way back to her house, breasts bouncing in the moonlight. She's determined to finish her list and LIVE, and he just might want to help her do just that for the rest of his eternity. There's fencing, there's dancing, there's dueling, and there's LOVE. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's Part One of Erin and Melody's recap of Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Lady Calpernia Hartwell is done with being a well-behaved wallflower, so she seeks out the most handsome, devilish rake in London to help her start misbehaving AND WE COULDN'T STOP SWOONING. Thank you, Erin C, for the recommendation! 

Bonus Content: The Gals decide which characters they are in Grace and Frankie and The Golden Girls, Erin talks about her herbal school classmates, Melody details her dream of starting an elderly lady commune with all her girlfriends, Erin gets a sneak peak of Melody's speech for Erin's wedding (if she's tapped!), the BBC's Fleabag and Hulu's Harlots get some dandy love, and you get the ladies thoughts on whether or not The Odyssey is a romantic story. Spoiler alert: NOPE!

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Watch Grace and Frankie on Hulu! 

- Be a Kendall, not a Krystal. Yes, we watch the Bachelor, yes, we recorded this right after Kendall and Krystal's 2-on-1 date with the human saltine cracker that is Arie. Her compassion, wisdom, and empathy in the face of her hurt feelings WAS INSPIRING. What show were we watching again??

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we finish up The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. There's theater, rain, a jailbreak, redemption, and SEX. YES PLEASE. 

Bonus Content: Does Melody know what animals are? Or sounds? What's in her head? 

Self love recommendations: 

Erin: "You have to give up being perfect to be good, and give up being good to be free." Let that wash over you. 

 

Melody: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey HB's! This marks the first in our multi-part episode coverage of novels with Tessa Dare's The Duchess Deal! We've got a strong, surviving seamstress, a Duke marred by burn wounds, and a marriage of convenience turned redemptive love. This is Melody's favorite heroine and Erin's favorite hero from the brain of Tessa Dare. There's also a colorful cast of side characters including a street cat named Breeches. 

Bonus content: the Alaskan phenomenon that is the drive up bikini coffee bar, burping on cue in the name of motherhood, Erin's thoroughly-researched grasp on historical time periods, and our vast knowledge of fireplaces. 

And seriously, what does "make ready" mean in England times???

Alright, darlings, WERECUNTS UNITE! 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.