Heaving Bosoms

This week we've got an especially tasty little morsel: The Red by Tiffany Reisz! It's an erotic fantasy novel about a fiery gallery owner who's in debt and on the brink of losing everything and the mysterious man who wants to help her save it... for a price. He's not interested in her soul, though, he's interested in her BODY. Yum! 

Bonus Content: Ember's newest skill, Erin's trip to IL, wedding dress shopping, a discussion on using the term "whore" in the most empowering and delicious way, reclaiming the word cunt, and the segments *Bing Boong Bong* "safe sex work with Melody," "do your fucking job with Melody," "sex with mythical creatures with Erin," Melody's favorite alternate universe, and Erin's feelings on masquerade masks. Plus, MINOTAUR DONG. And does our podcast have a low-key new theme?

Strap in and maybe strap on. You're gonna need all your resources for this one. 

Lady Loves: 

Melody: Email or tween an author to tell them how much you love their work. Sometimes making other people feel great and know their worth is such a lovely pick-me-up. 

Erin: To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Love Simon. Sunshine, rainbows, and feel good films! Get them in your brain! 

Indy Podcast Promo: 

The Secret Life of Weddings

Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, etc. or at http://secretlifeofweddings.com   Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/secretlifeofweddings/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/secretlifeofwed Facebook Page | https://www.facebook.com/thesecretlifeofweddings Tumblr | https://secretlifeofweddings.tumblr.com YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQJ6EVYHYsmIvs_bnHqKXSg

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Hey HB's! Happy Monday to you! Were you missing our personal brand of hate in your life? NEVER FEAR! We're here to deliver in this monster episode covering Split by JB Salsbury. It's about a girl who comes back to her small AZ town in disgrace after assaulting a colleague and the man she meets with Dissociative Identity Disorder and a mysterious, violent past. Will there be disclaimers? Yes. Will there be laughing through rage? Yes. But what more can we do when one of the heroes LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL THE HEROINE?!

Bonus Content: 

Erin's most embarrassing professional moment ever, *bing boong bongs* Do Your Fucking Job and Super Creepy People with Erin, the racism Erin saw while living in AZ, Melody pulls back the curtain on whether she's ever thought to herself, "your dad died? I want to see your penis immediately," Navajo Tacos: they're basically Gorditas, right? Wethinks not. And you get to learn all about Harmony and Butch. 

Lady Loves:  Erin: The Type, a spoken word poem by Sarah Kay. You can find it on youtube and go down the delicious rabbit hole that is Sarah Kay's brilliance. 

Melody: ......

Patreon Shout Out:

Lauren C., you are a Griffin of great power and emotional understanding. Combining the body of the queen of all earthly creatures and the queen of all aerial creatures, you possess unparalleled courage of heart and vast intelligence. Bold and compassionate, those wings of yours will take you to heights surpassing even your wildest dreams. 

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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Here we go with Part 2 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper! Will they figure out who's attacking locals? Will there be super sperm? Will we have more opportunities for *bing boong bong* Wildlife Safety with Erin? All that, plus realistic truck sex! 

Bonus Content: Melody's volunteer tomato, how condoms only work if they're used 100% of the time, and much more! 

Self-Love Recommendations:  Erin: Smartypants vitamins. The serving size is SIX gummy vitamins! 

Melody: Have what you crave around, otherwise, when you're craving dark chocolate you may end up eating a meal-replacement bar. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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This week we're bringing you part 1 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper, one of Erin's favorite books! We've got a Mississippi transplant in Alaska and a hero who's begrudgingly attracted to the outsider. She's fleeing her overbearing hippy parents, he's got a furry secret. There's intrigue, there's murder, there's baking, there's a whole kaleidoscope of fabulous side characters. There's deep, fiery passion. There's *bing boong bong* What Sex Position Is This? with Melody. 

Bonus Content: 

Pulling necks, #bringbackdueling SUCCESS, the jungle that is Alaskan Match.com, our proposed alternate title "Slap, Slap, Kiss", Life Saving Measures with Erin, Obstructing Justice with Erin, Melody's sickness REVEALED, and all the bear encounters Leigh-Ayn could ever wish for. 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Leslie B., you are a unicorn of care, companionship, and silliness. Throughout the ages, unicorns have gotten pigeon-holed as the creatures of sweetness and light. While you've gotten those characteristics in spades, you also prove the species has so much more to offer. Your sass, longing for new challenges, and commitment to the safety of your herd is unmatched. I mean, you basically have a bayonet on your head and you know how to use it. Plus, that flowing mane of waves is something that even us land mermaids need to tip our hats to.

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Hey y'all! This week we have Teagan Hunter's Millenial delight, Let's Get Textual. It's got a wrong number meet-cute, two sarcastic, adorable characters, a baby goat, Harry Potter boxers, wholesome yet sexy strip teases, a whodunit, BAD Titanic jokes, questionable Dorito placement, and some low-key social justice issues. 

Bonus conent: PIG ROOOAAASSTTTT, Melody's bottle baby goats and her knowledge of goats as snuggle partners, some Erin snark on bonding over universal experiences, our shared HATRED of ranch dressing, and so much more. 

Also, introducing some new segments: *bing, boong, bong* How to (In)Correctly Identify Basic Character Traits with Erin, and Gold Star Parenting with Melody. 

Patreon Shout-Outs: 

Tiffany A., you are a phoenix. Your powers of rejuvenation make sure you're never down for long. Whether it's a momentary lapse, or a huge loss, you always have it in you to bounce back. Even at your most decrepit and downtrodden, you need look no further than your own inner beauty and ability to set you right.

Elizabeth S., you are a water sprite. Your dazzling personality and playful nature make you a delight to be around, and friendship with you is as flowing and deep as the waters you inhabit. When rough currents hit, you know how to strike a healthy balance of go-with-the-flow and swim-for-your-life. And everyone better take note: when you're pushed, your bite is just as strong as your bark. 

Mentioned in this episode:

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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Hey All! We are so appreciate that you've been so understanding about our hiccup in programming, but a plastic shard getting lodged in your cornea doesn't happen every day. Poor Erin! 

Luckily, Nickie from The Things She Does offered to allow us to publish her interview with Melody so you didn't have a huge lapse in your feed! 

We talk romance novels, the value they bring to the world, feminism, sex education and pleasure education, being a mom, "balance" or lack thereof, and so much more. 

Enjoy! 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Hey HB's! We're back with Part 2 of Helen Hoang's debut novel, The Kiss Quotient! Stella and Michael are embarking on a classic EnglandTimes fake relationship and find that they're dynamic just might be perfect. That is, of course, if Michael's past, Stella's coworker, both of their understandable insecurities, misunderstandings, and a wealthy woman with nothing to lose don't screw it up forever! 

Bonus Content: Face nipples, GOAT the spanish-speaking dog, more Gelato Teenager antics, Erin's views on sex in the workplace, The Handmaid's Tale, a doozy of a film called Killing Me Softly, and much more! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin - Follow @timburkephoto and @hanna.c.johansson and their burgeoning romance as the motorcycle through Norway together. So cute! 

Melody - Have a sob in public if you need to. Give yourself that catharsis. 

 

If you ever have problems getting the episodes through your preferred app, feel free to visit our RSS feed http://heavingbosoms.libsyn.com/ and listen to our episodes directly from there! 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

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Get ready for some squee HBs, we're here gushing over the first half of The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang! Scientist/mathematician + male escort/fashion designer?! Neuroatypical heroine?! Hapa hero?! We are very here for this. Plus all the heart-felt romance and red hot sexy times you can handle. And consent! So, so much consent on the page. Melody was in hog heaven. 

We have limited experience with autism particularly and the neurodiverse community in general, so if you feel inspired to correct us on something we said, please don't hesitate to email [email protected]!

Bonus Content:

Pig roasts, gelato teenagers, how Melody eats candy, how Erin can't sing, the best Army pun EVER, pheromones, Mr. Spenglish, and so much more. 

Patren Shout Out: 

Jackie G., you are a fairy of fortitude and friendship. You will use anything at your disposal, all the tricks up your sleeve, to help the ones you love, and your mischievous imagination makes you a hoot to be around.

Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much! 

Follow us on social media! 

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast

Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult

www.heavingbosomspodcast.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey HB's! We're back for The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn! It’s a friends-to-lovers romantic comedy with some slapstick antics that had us in stitches! Rosie is an aspiring romance novelist who hasn't gone "all they way" ... or anywhere, really. Henry is her best friend of 5 years who's just biding his time until she notices him. When Rosie decides to put herself out there and have sex to gain the experience she needs for the novel (at Henry's urging), hilarity ensues. Yes, like all rom-coms in the 90's and 2000's, it's also a little problematic. So. Full disclosure, Melody may have gotten on a soap box or two.

Bonus Content: Learn about Erin's illicit bread, the end of #cockygate, why the virgin trope in contemporaries rarely works for Melody, a discussion of all the Chris's and which is best, adventures in DivaCups, we find a line Mel won't cross (even for Erin), Erin sheds light on her thoughts on bowling hygiene and the scene in Anchorage, TEQUILA and why it doesn't work, we all get a lesson in eating tacos, a discussion on whether oral sex is "relaxing," and HOW TO BE MELODY'S FRIEND (surprise, surprise, it involves TMI).   

Featured Segments: Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody (throughout), and a brand new segment, Melody Briefly Morphs Into Erin! 

Patreon Shout-Out: Natalie M-M, you are a beatific wood nymph. You can inspire with your joyous energy alone and your abilities in the outdoors make you an excellent partner for anyone's adventures. Who doesn't love a lady with survival skills?

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin - SUNSCREEN. Don't think your makeup is all the sunscreen you need. 

Melody - Hide veggies from yourself if you have to. They need to get into your body, so if you need to blend them in a shake, cook them in your eggs, or make a puree, DO IT. Veg are everything! 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey listener! Did you put on your big kid underwear? WELL, GET READY TO TAKE IT OFF. Ok, it's already getting weird. Gotta set the tone.... 

This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to confirm the threat from The Hive is real and send back any and all intel and technology back to her superiors, all while not getting distracted by her two new, hot mates. That's right: TWO MATES! Will she be able to keep her heart from two warriors who want to share their love and devotion with her? Is appeasing her government really the best course of action? Can we do all of this with magical, orgasm-inducing semen as a factor? Are you ready for the Anal Training Box? Can we get a little more double-penetration up in here? Can I please have my own poop robot? 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT QUESTION TO PRIORITIZE. 

Bonus Content: 

Erin remembers and becomes obsessed with the 1988 classic "Earth Girls are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans. It's a recurring theme. Erin recalls the time that eHarmony told her she had literally ZERO matches. No one at all in all the internet. We talk a lot about the merits of a good spy, what's appropriate for a medical examination after you've been reduced to pure energy, beamed across the universe, and then reassembled. We wonder how quiet a poop robot can really be, and generally squee over this book and all it's glory. We also have a hard time choosing a sign off, so you get them all! See our process in action! 

Random Erin Rec: The Demonica Series by Larissa Ione. If you like an incubus, check it out! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Queer Eye Season 2 on Netflix. Watch it and cry with joy and goodness. 

Melody: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Watch it and remember how funny and capable and fabulous you are. 

 

Housekeeping: Patreon fam, please send us your mailing addresses! We wants to send you goodies! 

If you haven't yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us! If you give us a 5 star review we will cover whatever book you recommend! 

Also follow us on all the things!

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast (page) and The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult (group)

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.heavingbosomspodcast.com 

 

Whew! Enjoy! 

Mentioned in this episode:

Love the show? Leave a review!

Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.