Crystal thinks she’s so funny at the worst times. 

Peez and Crystal have the same pronunciation, Mae and Ivan are done, Pata Fria is fired from the promo team and mark your calendars for the live show!! 

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It’s really true what they say, what’s done in the dark will always come to light.

What happened to girl code?

Crystal is almost prom queen at the new Safeway and many thanks to Robyn.  

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This week Hello Dysfunction got to sit in with another Bay Area podcast, Burbeck and Garretson. We got some male prospective and a lot covered with seven of us all sitting in. 

Follow them for more awesome episodes at Burbeck & Garretson on Spotify 

and Instagram.com/burbeckandgarretson 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.

Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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We’re still sick. 

Pata Fria is drunk and off her meds. 

The craft supplies are out of hand and Crystal has some great white trash tattoos. 

Crystal’s family has more dark secrets and sharing a bed is poor people shit. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.

Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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Crystal loves having phlegm. 

Pata Fria is going thru metamorphosis. Again. 

Peez loves to cause a scene and cigarettes are pretty hot. Crystal’s dream ruined their new lashes, local sex workers are making everyone really proud, eating food in the bathroom isn’t that bad and the 90s were pretty barbaric. 

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Rest In Peace Queen Prudence. 

Stand on one foot if something is wrong. 

Pata Fria is a single woman and will be for the rest of her life. 

Poppies and eagles are for Merica.

Carolyn is gonna hit Crystal any day now.

Uncle Jimmy wants something and Pata Fria really doesn’t need alcohol. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.

Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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This week we’re doing something different and sharing part of an episode that was exclusive to Patreon and we really enjoyed. We hope you like it, the full episode and video are on Patreon. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.

Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

Instagram.com/lurkpatafria

Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Sinus infections, vertigo and stomach viruses…oh my! Traffic has Crystal ready to leave earth and tummy tuck swelling is an unpleasant surprise. It’s now illegal to send surprise unwanted nudes in CA and Trump is going to jail.

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It’s a wild Saturday night! 

Crystal got crop dusted, smoking used to be really cool, don’t encourage conversation with strangers and please always ask before dropping some heavy loads on someone. 

Pata Fria can’t see and is still getting really manic. Crystal has taken steps to get her ADD under control and is drinking more water. Fords have no loyalty and being yourself will ultimately give you the best life experience. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.

Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

Instagram.com/lurkpatafria

Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal is planning a no dairy challenge, Peez is after all the babies, driving in the rain is scary and people are always showing up at Pata Fria’s door. 

Carolyn is doing and not doing whatever she wants, insulting racist humor isn’t funny and you don’t have to claim your whiteness if you don’t want to. 

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

Instagram.com/lurkpatafria

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Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]