Ep #33 – Take the Pressure Off Pressure doesn’t come from our circumstances. What You’ll Learn on this Episode: Where pressure comes from. How to remove the added pressure. The impact of a new perspective. Featured on the Show: Ready to drop your inner critic and be yourself? Work with me one-on-one. Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!

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Hi beautiful, today we’re talking about boundaries.

This is a simple one.

A boundary is something you decide that you will do or not do. It’s a decision to be in integrity with your values and preferences.

You can share your boundaries with people, or you can keep them to yourself. Either way, they’re yours to honor.

Here’s the key: boundaries are for you, not for controlling other people.

A lot of times, what we think are boundaries are actually rules or expectations for someone else.

Like saying someone needs to take the trash out or else… that’s not a boundary. That’s a rule.

A boundary would be what you do.

For example, if you decide you don’t work on Monday nights, your boundary is that you say no to work. People can still ask. They’re not crossing your boundary by asking. Your boundary is how you respond.

Same thing if you stop saying yes to last-minute plans. The boundary isn’t that people stop inviting you. It’s that you pause, decide, and either say no or get back to them.

That’s why consistency matters.

If you only honor your boundary sometimes, it becomes an in-the-moment decision instead of something you trust yourself to follow.

And here’s the part that makes this easier—set your boundaries from love.

Not from frustration. Not from trying to control.

From love for your time, your energy, your values.

Then honoring them feels natural.

Boundaries are simple.

They’re actions you take to have your own back.

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Pressure is an emotion we feel. It can seem like the circumstances we’re in are causing it, but what I want to offer is that you can remove the layer of pressure and change your experience—even if the circumstance stays the same.

First thing: don’t do this perfectly. This doesn’t make you a superhuman. You will still feel negative emotions. That’s not a problem.

The goal here is to remove the added pressure that comes from how you think.

When you take that layer off, negative emotions don’t feel overwhelming. You can feel them without thinking you’re going to stay there forever.

Pressure comes from what you’re thinking about a situation.

It can feel automatic—like something happens and you instantly feel pressure—but there is something in between what you see and how you feel: your thoughts.

I remember signing up for school and being so excited… until the books arrived. I opened the box, saw 5 or 6 books, and immediately felt panic.

It wasn’t the books.

It was the thoughts:
“What have I done?”
“I can’t do this.”
“This is too much.”

That’s what created the pressure.

So instead of trying to escape it, pause.

Breathe.

Look at what you’re thinking.

Write it down.

There’s you, the circumstance, and your thoughts—and they’re not the same thing.

When you separate them, you can change your perspective.

Ask yourself:
Why do I feel pressure?
What am I thinking?
What else could be true?

Don’t stop at “I don’t know.” The answer is right behind it.

Pressure is human. You’re not doing anything wrong.

But you can change your experience by changing how you think.

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Ep #32 – Drop the Inner Critic & Be Yourself Feeling insecure over 30 makes perfect sense without the blueprint I’m going to share with you today. What You’ll Learn on this Episode: The simple 6-step process to be yourself. Responsibility feels amazing when you don’t judge yourself. How to love what you have before you create more goals. Featured on the Show: Drop your inner critic and be yourself with the 3-day video Jump Start – Free Download Ready to stop overthinking and be yourself? Work with me one-on-one. Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!

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Hi lovely, today I’m going to walk you through a blueprint from start to finish on how you can drop your inner critic and be yourself.

Sometimes we think that at a certain point in life, we’ll just naturally feel confident, stop caring what people think, and know exactly who we are. That’s not the reality for most of us—and that’s OK. Without a clear process, feeling insecure makes perfect sense.

Think of this like building a house. You don’t start with the roof. You build it step by step.

First, you release judgment. If you’re beating yourself up, nothing else will feel stable.

Then you take responsibility and make decisions without turning them into something negative about you.

From there, you start to see clearly what you want. You’re not going back and forth—you know.

Then you learn how to feel your emotions instead of avoiding them. You stop fearing them.

After that, you get to be yourself. You express what you like, what you want, and how you feel—without overthinking it.

Then you love what you have. You’re not rushing to get somewhere else to feel better.

And finally, you get to choose if you want to create more—or simply enjoy what you’ve built.

This is what it looks like to drop the inner critic. You’re not wondering who you are anymore. You’re living it.

Join us in Authentic Confidence Reset to feel yourself again. Click here to sign up.

If you want weekly gems to feel your most authentic self, sign up for the Lovelies List here.

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Ep #31 – Forgive and Evaluate Most of the time we think of forgiveness, we associate it with other people. This is about forgiving yourself. What You’ll Learn on this Episode: What forgiveness means. Common reasons why we don’t forgive ourselves. How to evaluate to get all the data from lessons learned. Featured on the Show: Drop your inner critic and be yourself with the 3-day video Jump Start – Free Download Ready to stop overthinking and be yourself? Work with me one-on-one. Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!

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Ep #30 – Working Hard vs. Wearing Yourself Out Working hard means more commitment and less commitments. What You’ll Learn on this Episode: You fuel your goals, not the other way around. You don’t have to do things because you’ve always done them. How to be honest with yourself about why you do things. Featured on the Show: Drop your inner critic and be yourself with the 3-day video Jump Start – Free Download Ready to stop overthinking and be yourself? Work with me one-on-one. Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!

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Most of the time when we think of forgiveness, we think about other people. But this applies directly to you.

Forgiveness is stopping feeling angry or resentful toward yourself for something that happened.

When you don’t forgive yourself, you stay in that resentment. And that makes it harder to move forward.

The truth is, you will make mistakes. You will have flaws. That’s part of being human.

So instead of using those moments to judge yourself, you can use them as data.

There is so much value in what didn’t go as planned. That’s where the growth is.

But we often avoid it. We don’t want to look at it, we judge it, we replay it, and we make it mean something about our future.

That’s what keeps you stuck.

So first—remove the resentment.

You can say: this happened. I can let it go. This moment is brand new.

That’s forgiveness.

Then comes evaluation.

What were the facts?
What went right?
What didn’t go the way you wanted?
What would you do differently?

That’s where the next step comes from.

There’s no downside to forgiving yourself. The only reasons we don’t are because we think we don’t deserve it, we don’t have permission, or we’re afraid we won’t change.

But forgiveness is what allows change.

You don’t need to stay mad at yourself to grow.

When you forgive yourself, your mind is clear. You can actually see what you want to do next.

And that changes everything.

Join us in Authentic Confidence Reset to feel yourself again. Click here to sign up.

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How many things are you trying to do at one time? The question is WHY?

You’re like a battery. You have the energy, not your goals.

So if you’re trying to fuel too many things, you will wear out and not power what you really want.

Women love working hard, but that can turn into multitasking, saying yes to everything, jumping into things from FOMO, and setting expectations that aren’t realistic. Then we beat ourselves up for not keeping up.

No wonder you feel worn out.

So life scrub commences.

Before you look at your schedule, take a step back and look at your whole life. Not what you’ve always done, not what someone else said, but what YOU actually want.

What do you want to accomplish? What’s important to you?

Write it down. Even if you don’t know how yet.

Next, decide how you’re going to treat yourself in the process.

Not strict. Not pushy.

Supportive. Encouraging. Real. Like you would treat someone you love.

This is a huge part of your success.

Then picture yourself with it all done. That version of you is already in there. Make decisions from her.

That’s where hard work becomes enjoyable.

Now, commitment.

You make decisions all day, but commitment is separate. Look at what you wrote down. What is your commitment level? What does a 10 look like?

That is the work.

When you’re committed, you say no to what doesn’t matter and yes to what does. You’re not wearing yourself out. You’re working on purpose.

Join us in Authentic Confidence Reset to feel yourself again. Click here to sign up.

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Ep #29 – The Core of Insecurity The way you treat yourself is a relationship. What You’ll Learn on this Episode: What is insecurity? The solution to insecurity is not confidence. How to make the relationship with yourself a supportive one. Featured on the Show: On-demand 3-day Training to Create a Better Relationship with Yourself – Free Download Ready to stop overthinking and be yourself? Work with me one-on-one. Join me on Instagram and tag me in all your favorite Hello, Lovely moments!

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