Hi, Fam!

In our culture it's quite acceptable to wear yoga pants all day, have cheerios in your hair, have spit up on your shirt, and always look a little bit like a hot mess once you become a mom.

And you know what? It's OK if you do! Being a mom is exhausting and demanding.

Compared to the childless life, it's a lot harder to look and feel phenomenal as you're running around after toddlers all day, taking care of newborns all night, chauffeuring kids around all day, preparing lunches, making loads of meals, washing loads of dishes, cleaning all the time, and the list goes on. I get it. I really get it.

I'm not a lifestyle, fashion and makeup guru, but I do know this: when I feel put together, somewhat taken care of, and I like the way that I look, I operate better. I'm a much more patient, upbeat, and positive person.

So I happen to think that it's an incredibly powerful parenting tool to make yourself feel like the best version of yourself. When we feel good and feel confident going out into the world we have more energy to show up for our children with more love, patience, energy, space and joy! We just have more of ourselves to give.

In this episode I'll give you 8 tips to help feel phenomenal as a mom with littles!

[02:33] #1 - Don't snooze

[05:07] #2 - Get dressed in the morning

[06:51] #3 - Do something to take care of yourself in the morning

[08:29] #4 - Add fragrance to yourself and/or your home

[09:41] #5 - Play music you love

[11:00] #6 - Make food you love

[13:55] #7 - Take time to do little things for yourself throughout the day.

[15:58] #8 - Take care of yourself at night

[19:03] Speaking of nighttime...go to bed earlier!

[20:42] Feeling phenomenal as a parent is a form of good parenting!

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

In this episode I'll be addressing a question from a member of our Present Play community.

Tracy from Georgia asked what to do when your children use rude or inappropriate language, and also how to address their negative self-talk.

Thank you for your question Tracy! You are certainly not alone in this struggle. All parents are presented with these challenges (including myself).

There are a few ways to go about it, but I'd like to talk about my preferred approach.

[04:59] Keep in mind: Childhood development is a slow process. Changes are gradual and it takes time, repetition, and consistency.

[06:22] Typical approach #1: Authoritarian Approach

[09:02] Typical approach #2: Permissive Approach

[11:20] 3rd option: Be calm but firm and address the situation.

[12:16] We have to be responsive to the situation, but not reactive.

[12:30] Step 1: Pause, breathe, and calm yourself down. Then state clearly and calmly to yourself and your child what you DO want to see.

[13:23] Say to yourself "I will respond when I've gathered myself and collected my thoughts."

[15:14] Step 2: Calmly explain what will happen if they continue. Just a logical consequence for continuing.

[17:00] It's not a threat or punishment. We're trying to teach them what the results of certain behaviors are.

[17:34] Step 3: Follow through immediately.

[21:13] How to address a child's negative self talk.

[22:38] Center yourself. This is a normal part of childhood and every child needs to work through it.

[25:22] Help them focus on the right things.

[25:53] We're trying to teach our children what advances their agenda and what takes away from it.

[30:36] The energy at which we have these interactions is the most important factor.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

When you're home with young children it can feel really overwhelming and stressful. Between all the messes, the tantrums, the whining, the noise, and the smells, it can make your home a place you want to escape from instead of a place to escape to.

In this episode I'll give you 10 practical tips to bring more pleasure, peace, joy, fun, and energy into your home.

[02:07] #1 - Add some plants

[04:51] #2 - Play music

[06:23] #3 - Use aromas and fragrances

[08:11] #4 - Keep surfaces clear

[11:06] #5 - Decorate with affirming words

[12:55] #6 - Print and display family photos

[14:49] #7 - Use neutral colors

[17:46] #8 - Use natural and soft lighting

[20:15] #9 - Add beautiful objects (and remove ugly objects)

[24:31] #10 - Comfortable furniture pieces

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/90

Do you ever feel like you don't want to do this anymore? This parenting thing, I mean. The nagging, the fighting, the wining, the dishes, the laundry, feeling tired and drained and sometimes, hopeless. Angry. Vengeful.

Exhausted.

We all go through seasons like this. But the good news is we don't have to stay there. One thing that can make a huge difference and give you the extra push to get through the lows is to create a vision for your family.

That's what I want to talk about today.

[02:53] What do we do when we don't feel like we can keep going?

[04:37] That's why it's so important to have a vision.

[05:35] We need to understand what it's all for.

[06:07] We all need a vision for our families

[06:57] If you don't already have one, it's time to start working on it!

[07:18] Examples, to get the creative juices flowing...

[07:54] It needs to be meaningful. Something to get you up in the morning. Something worth fighting for.

[08:44] If you'd like help crafting yours, I've put together a package to guide you through the process step by step.

Creating a big juicy vision for your family will help you push through the challenging times. It'll provide a north star, a guiding light, taking you closer to what you really want for you and your family.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Ready to create the vision for your family?

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/89

Many people find they lose aspects of their identity when they have kids. Can you relate? This year has certainly made it more challenging to hold onto our identities. Many things in our lives have been "lost" (or put on hold) during the pandemic, and it has been hard.

If you're feeling like you've lost yourself, this episode is for you.

[00:36] Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

[05:34] Ready to create the vision for your family?

[05:39] Many of us feel a loss of identity as we enter parenthood.

[05:56] Let's evaluate the source of our identity

[06:57] Changes in life can change our identities.

[08:05] The things we are or do make for superficial identities.

[09:48] Where else can we find our identity?

[12:36] Start focusing more on the "how" and less on the "what"

As we start to focus more on how we show up, how we go about our days, we'll find that our identities are much more stable and steady in the face of adversity. The "what" might change, but how we show up remains constant.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!
• Ready to create the vision for your family?

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/88

Everyone makes mistakes and experiences failures. We all have shortcomings, weaknesses, and areas of lack. And many people are stuck in a fixed mindset, thinking that it's just how they are.

But not everyone.

Some people have adopted a growth mindset, and see mistakes and failures in a different (and positive) light. Do you want to be one of them?

Join me in this episode as we discuss how to do just that.

[00:36] Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

[02:36] Do you feel like there have been some mistakes either on your part or other people's part?

[03:20] Many people are stuck in a Fixed Mindset

[04:31] We can decide to change and grow.

[05:23] How my 97 year old grandma stays young and vibrant

[06:32] It's tragic when people say things like "that's just how I am"

[06:42] Our brains have plasticity and we can continue to change and learn

[07:07] Adopt a growth mindset

[07:47] Successful people view their mistakes and failures as learning opportunities.

[08:36] Do you beat yourself up over mistakes and failures?

[09:25] Everything is in a constant state of change.

We don't have to stay stuck. We can change, adapt, and grow (and so can our kids). Let's start to view our mistakes and failures as learning opportunities and continue to improve and develop.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/87

Kids (and adults, if we're being honest) often have a rigid way of thinking. It's often black or white, all or nothing. We see our truth, and find it hard to understand that someone else may have a different truth.

But life (and people) are much more complex and nuanced than that, and we often live with a duality that can be hard to cope with. Today we're going to talk about a hallmark of maturity that can help us (and our kids) deal with this.

[01:14] Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

[02:50] Children often have a rigid way of thinking

[04:16] The ability to hold 2 conflicting truths at the same time is a hallmark of maturity.

[05:09] Let's replace the word "but" & "or" with "and"

[06:44] Sometimes we can feel both a like and dislike for the same thing. What do we do with that?

[08:01] It's immature to reduce things or people down to just one thing, all or nothing.

[08:32] Let's try to coach our kids and introduce them to other perspectives.

As we experience challenges and difficult circumstances (and difficult people), Let's try to use "and" more than "or" or "but". Let's give people space for their complex views and truths and realize that we all live with some duality in our lives.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/86

Are you going through something tough in your life? A big transition, problems at home or in your relationships, financial struggles. Maybe you haven't had the support you're used to and you feel like you're drowning. It could even be a series of trivial things that normally wouldn't amount to much, but with the year we've been having...let's just say it's been hard on many of us.

When we experience challenges, we often go through a process of grief (even on "small" stuff). There's a typical progression of 5 stages that most of us go through, and today I want to talk about that and what CAN come after stage 5.

[02:43] Has 2020 been a rough year for you? Are you longing for some change (in the right direction)? Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

[04:53] Stage 1: Denial

[06:22] Stage 2: Anger

[06:48] Stage 3: Bargaining

[07:39] Stage 4: Depression

[08:19] Stage 5: Acceptance

[09:26] What comes after acceptance?

[10:57] Stage 6: The silver lining

[14:45] How we can coach our children through this.

We certainly are justified staying in any stage. But we can choose to move forward and search for the silver lining in our challenges, finding the gifts and blessings that are there for the taking.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/85

Have you (or your child) experienced rough times? Are you having a hard time dealing with them? If so, this episode is for you.

[01:29] Has 2020 been a rough year for you? Are you longing for some change (in the right direction)? Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!

[05:58] Mindset is so important when it comes to challenges we've faced.

[07:18] Integrate any trauma we have experienced.

[09:31] When someone has made sense of their narrative, they go a long way toward healing.

[10:27] How can we use this today?

[12:08] Here's an example: When a child falls down

[14:14] Talk through what happened.

[14:51] But wait...do we really want to relive trauma?

[17:01] Eventually it becomes boring (or at least loses it's edge).

[17:41] Example from my life: Childbirth trauma

[19:55] Start working through the story of this past year.

It's time to put in some work! Start working through your story, talking about what happened, and begin to integrate it into your narrative. It'll begin the healing process and you'll find it'll start to lose it's sting.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join me in my free challenge, Finish Strong!
• Daniel Siegel's book Parenting From the Inside Out

Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/84

For some reason we sometimes downplay our roles as parents. We often say things like "I'm just a mom/dad", and at times don't approach it with the same zest and zeal we would in our career or other leadership role. Why is that?

Today I want to discuss parenting and how I think our role as a parent is like being a CEO.

[00:31] Parenting is a high stakes "job" (I know it's a relationship and not a job...but hear me out).

[01:02] But we often downplay our role as a parent.

[01:53] As parents, we're CEOs of our families.

[03:46] The work we do as parents is meaningful and important.

[04:35] Let's start thinking of ourselves as CEOs

[04:51] Let's show up with zest, joy, and interest.

[05:00] Let's take pride in the work we're doing. We're not "just" moms or dads. We're leaders.

[05:54] We should invest in ourselves like a CEO. Read books, listen to podcasts, learn more about our craft.

[07:01] People who are "successful" aren't necessarily more talented. They're often relentless in their pursuit of growing in their craft.

Let's approach our parenting like we would a CEO role in a business, and work toward mastery in our craft!

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.