Hi, Fam!

Which school should you send your kids to? What extracurricular activities should they participate in? What books should we read? We're obsessed with providing the best for our kids.

In this episode I'm going to tell you why none of that matters as much as we think it does, and what I believe we should focus on instead.Spoiler alert - it's not what (or how) you think.

Think back to your childhood - what were the biggest lessons you learned? Were they the ones that were dictated to you? The ones taught directly in school via a lesson plan?

Or perhaps were they the ones that weren't directly spoken or intended?

Usually the real lessons came between the "lessons." How the adults in our lives spoke to us, spoke to each other, how they behaved, how they viewed the world - these were the real lessons for better or worse.

In this episode, I'm sharing my belief that *I* am my children's biggest and most powerful curriculum, and you are YOUR children's biggest and most powerful curriculum...here's what you'll hear:

[3:14] The "real" lessons we learned in our childhood.

[5:47] The default way you are probably parenting, for better or worse

[7:53] What is the true curriculum of childhood 📚 ❓

[8:52] Lecturing does not work. Do you learn best by being directed?

[12:06] What educational institutions are teaching your kids (🤦)

[15:29] The real curriculum is you (what you do, not what you say). Where to find the real curriculum

[20:53] Don't abdicate! (spoiler alert this is uncomfortable)

[22:25] What we must demand of ourselves

[28:46] How kids learn Social Skills 👯

[31:27] How your kids are learning to Life Management skills 🕐

[35:05] Model a healthy mindset. Mindset 🧠

How you show up, how you treat others, how you manage your life, and the mindset you carry through it all - this is what our children will learn.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @theparentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5 star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

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Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/14

In this episode you'll discover a powerful way of viewing your parenting role so you can remove yourself from the drama of childhood and offer the meaningful support your children need.

[1:28] How much should we intervene and solve problems for our kids?

[8:11] Intro to the Story Framework.

[8:59] Basic structure of a story.

[12:48] What does this have to do with parenting?

[13:56] We are not the hero.

[17:32] We are the guide.

[23:02] We give them a plan.

[23:49] We call them to action.

[26:14] We help them succeed and avoid failure.

[26:58] Measure every situation against this framework.

Links & Resources

• Donald Miller's book "Building A Story Brand"
• theparentingjunkie.com/challenge

Show Notes:

theparentingjunkie.com/13

You'll discover 3 potent techniques to get back on track to loving your kid so you can flip the script when you start feeling annoyed, irritated or out of love with your child. I'll even share some personal truths that I don't usually talk about.

• [1:26] Giveaway winner!
• [4:10] You love your child, but sometimes you don't like them.
• [6:52] You may not be struggling with this…yet.
• [7:30] You might be burned out.
• [9:35] There might be a mismatch in expectations.
• [14:33] Pretend they are someone else's child.
• [17:40] Pretend you're being watched.
• [20:26] Pretend it's your last day on earth with them.
• [22:44] Flip "I can't" to "I can."

Links & Resources

• Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/12
• Present Play

I'm sharing my experience and thoughts on sleep training so you can hopefully feel calm, cool, and confident in offering your child the best sleep. I hope you can listen to this episode in its entirety, because this is a nuanced and triggering topic that deserves in depth conversation. I wouldn't want you to miss the full context of the ideas presented here.

• [1:20] Giveaway winner!
• [4:47] 2 Emails I received from concerned parents
• [11:02] We're all torn over the approach to helping our babies sleep better.
• [21:00] Every child is different and much of their temperament is "baked in" (they're born with it).
• [23:59] Flaws with thinking that there's only one way to do it.
• [25:34] What does sleep training mean?
• [27:45] What can be learned from nature?
• [30:24] What does crying mean?
• [39:34] Is sleep deprivation respectful?
• [42:22] Is frustration bad?
• [48:01] Is it all or nothing?
• [49:48] The process with my last child.
• [55:29] We have to trust ourselves.
• [1:01:02] Summary
• [1:05:19] What's coming next week

Links & Resources

• Present Play
• Batya the Baby Coach
• 3 Things I Love About the RIE Approach
• Show notes: www.parentingjunkie.com/11

I'm sharing my experience and thoughts on sleep training so you can hopefully feel calm, cool, and confident in offering your child the best sleep. I hope you can listen to this episode in its entirety, because this is a nuanced and triggering topic that deserves in depth conversation. I wouldn't want you to miss the full context of the ideas presented here.

• [1:20] Giveaway winner!
• [4:47] 2 Emails I received from concerned parents
• [11:02] We’re all torn over the approach to helping our babies sleep better.
• [21:00] Every child is different and much of their temperament is “baked in” (they’re born with it).
• [23:59] Flaws with thinking that there’s only one way to do it.
• [25:34] What does sleep training mean?
• [27:45] What can be learned from nature?
• [30:24] What does crying mean?
• [39:34] Is sleep deprivation respectful?
• [42:22] Is frustration bad?
• [48:01] Is it all or nothing?
• [49:48] The process with my last child.
• [55:29] We have to trust ourselves.
• [1:01:02] Summary
• [1:05:19] What’s coming next week

  Links & Resources

• Present Play
• Batya the Baby Coach
• 3 Things I Love About the RIE Approach
• Show notes: www.parentingjunkie.com/11

Stress…

We don't want our kids to be stressed, but I think it's safe to say we all want our children to be able to handle stress.

In this episode I discuss ways to help develop resiliency and anti-fragility in your children so they'll be prepared to handle the stress of the "real world."

• [1:37] Giveaway winner!
• [4:43] Stress is inevitable.
• [7:15] Stress can be a positive thing.
• [10:37] Too much stress can be damaging.
• [12:42] Not enough stress can be damaging as well.
• [15:39] Definition of fragile, resilient, adaptive, & antifragility.
• [20:17] Don't overprotect your children from information.
• [28:07] Don't overprotect your children from social discomfort.
• [30:17] Don't overprotect your children from risks.
• [33:27] Don't overprotect your children in their relationships with other adults.
• [35:03] Don't overprotect your children from their feelings.
• [38:41] Don't overprotect your children from responsibility.
• [40:35] Share stories with your children (especially inspiring biographies).
• [42:37] Label your children as strong and resilient.

Links & Resources

• Peaceful Parenting Meditations

• TED Talk: "How to make stress your friend | Kelly McGonical

• Book: "The Coddling Of The American Mind"

• Book: "Free-Range Kids"

• "Who Is…?" series on Audible

• Show notes

Stress…

We don’t want our kids to be stressed, but I think it’s safe to say we all want our children to be able to handle stress.

In this episode I discuss ways to help develop resiliency and anti-fragility in your children so they’ll be prepared to handle the stress of the “real world.”

• [1:37] Giveaway winner!
• [4:43] Stress is inevitable.
• [7:15] Stress can be a positive thing.
• [10:37] Too much stress can be damaging.
• [12:42] Not enough stress can be damaging as well.
• [15:39] Definition of fragile, resilient, adaptive, & antifragility.
• [20:17] Don’t overprotect your children from information.
• [28:07] Don’t overprotect your children from social discomfort.
• [30:17] Don’t overprotect your children from risks.
• [33:27] Don’t overprotect your children in their relationships with other adults.
• [35:03] Don’t overprotect your children from their feelings.
• [38:41] Don’t overprotect your children from responsibility.
• [40:35] Share stories with your children (especially inspiring biographies).
• [42:37] Label your children as strong and resilient.

Links & Resources

• Peaceful Parenting Meditations

• TED Talk: "How to make stress your friend | Kelly McGonical

• Book: “The Coddling Of The American Mind”

• Book: “Free-Range Kids”

• “Who Is…?” series on Audible

• Show notes

We're bombarded by society (our culture, parents, neighbors, friends, religious institutions, schools, movies, magazines, internet, etc.) with all sorts of inputs and directives about how we're supposed to raise our children.

It's time to dispel some common myths about parenting and relieve the pressure of trying to be the "perfect parent."

Myths we're busting:

• You are in control of your children.
• There's one right way to parent.
• Harder is better.
• Parents aren't sexy or interesting.
• Raising children is boring.
• You should do it alone.
• The days are long, but the years are short.
• Parenting is a "job."

Links & Resources:

• Show notes: Theparentingjunkie.com/9
• Potty Time Course

We’re bombarded by society (our culture, parents, neighbors, friends, religious institutions, schools, movies, magazines, internet, etc.) with all sorts of inputs and directives about how we’re supposed to raise our children.

It’s time to dispel some common myths about parenting and relieve the pressure of trying to be the “perfect parent.”

Myths we’re busting:

• You are in control of your children.
• There’s one right way to parent.
• Harder is better.
• Parents aren’t sexy or interesting.
• Raising children is boring.
• You should do it alone.
• The days are long, but the years are short.
• Parenting is a “job.”

Links & Resources:

• Show notes: Theparentingjunkie.com/9
• Potty Time Course

Have you ever had thoughts or conversations about natural consequences, logical consequences, punishments, rewards, positive or negative reinforcement, etc., and felt like there was something missing – like there's a deeper level to it all?

Today we're going to dive into these terms and get some clarity on what consequences really are, how we can apply them mindfully, and common pitfalls to avoid.

What I cover in this episode:

• Why you should avoid punitive consequences and positive/negative reinforcement.
• How natural consequences are good, but often aren't enough.
• Extend yourself grace. You won't get it right 100% of the time. I don't always get it right, and neither will you.
• 3 types of consequences you probably haven't heard of

Show notes:

https://theparentingjunkie.com/8

Learn more:

https://theparentingjunkie.com/empathiclimits