Today I reveal that I too received flirty DMs from Adam Levine, but he’s only doing it to support the brave women fighting for their rights in Iran. I think he should be commended for his heroically horny actions. The new Jeff Dahmer series it out on Netflix and it’s good, but he ain’t no Bundy. That man did his thing with style. A cannibal admits to killing & eating a man named Kevin Bacon that he met on Grindr. Surprisingly, the cannibal decided to not use the insanity defense because what rational person wouldn’t consider eating someone whose last name is Bacon. Folks with erotophilia and sexual sensation-seeking personality traits are apparently more likely to be comfortable having sex with a sexbot. Also, lonely men. The economy is in the toilet but the courageous folks at Costco are refusing to raise the price of their famous $1.50 hot dog and drink special. God bless them and their cheap delicious hot dogs!