I discuss the recently hoopla surrounding the sending of migrants to Martha’s Vineyard. I personally believe it should become the new Ellis Island and all immigrants can go there. I ask an important question: why hasn’t cereal ended world hunger? It seems to me that we have solutions to the problems we claim to be facing but we’re overthinking the problem. A looking Adderall shortage could spell doom for the economy. A growing number of men are going through an insane radical procedure to get a few inches taller. The catch? You have to break both your femurs.

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Today we mourn the tragic passing of the Queen while simultaneously having some fun at her expense. She’s dead so I don’t think she’ll mind. Plus, I make the case that the Prince Andrew aka the Party Prince is the one who should really be the rightful heir to the throne. That said, a historic day as the longest reigning monarch in history finally goes to hell. I discuss the impact her legacy will have on the world and the future of the royal family from here. Disney released the trailer for the new live action release of “The Little Mermaid,” which begs the question: is the world ready for a black mermaid? Probably, but one can never know. “The Rings of Power” is drawing a “racist backlash” so the cast and crew wanted everyone to know they indeed “condemn racism.” The bigger problem on their hands is that the show is boring. BYU cleared itself in an investigation into whether or not a fan yelled a racial slur at volleyball game against Duke and Elon Musk might be the coolest person with autism ever. This one’s for the Queen folks!

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Today I give my review and breakdown of “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power” and its heavily marketed diverse cast. Will black representation save Middle-earth? Speaking of black representation, Jay-Z likened calling him a Capitalist to being called the n-word. I think Hov has every right to make as much money as he damn well please because the American dream is really about being rich & greedy. That’s just the truth. Serena Williams apparently thinks her legacy after retiring will be bigger than her tennis legacy, which is insane seeing as she’s the greatest tennis player ever. Plus some chick busted her cheating boyfriend after he lasted too long in bed. We got an all-time crazy lady with this one folks!

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Today I expose Andrew Tate for the heinous crime of loving the new She-Hulk show. Truly despicable behavior. A dumb couple that has sex 9 times a day think they have a lucrative addiction cause they’re too stupid to realize it’s a second job. A silly broad sent wedding invites out with the link to P*rnhub.com on it and I have an idea for a new hit reality tv show. The Finnish PM got caught partying, which rules. That and other nonsense as I’m back with some real heat!

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Today I am remarkably hungover, but alas I powered through to tell you about the latest happenings with Ezra Miller aka The Flash. It’s not going great. North Korea declared victory of covid and then blamed it on South Korea, which is pretty rad. California released a guide on “Six Ways WE Can Have Safer Sex In The Time Of Monkeypox” and the steps are insane. Speaking of insane, a man in Ohio was arrested after killing 4 people in Ohio claiming he was under “mind control” and being tortured through “ventriloquism.” You read that correctly.

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Today I review the recent installment in the Predator series, “Prey.” Spoiler alerts ahead, not that it really matters much. Ezra Miller is on the run and thinks the FBI and KKK are after him, even worse he no longer cuts his toe nails. Hunter Biden believes he has body dysmorphia because of his huge schlong and that’s honestly quite sad. I try to answer the very important question: do lesbians not do orgies? Someone must find an answer to this quandary.

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Wikipedia changed the definition of definition and honestly that’s rather funny. Video of a Chinese boy band back-up dancer being split in half by a falling monitor went viral so I decided to give my thoughts on the matter. Spoiler alert: the dude is very dead. Scientists are reanimating dead spiders so that they can grip objects and a Japanese city is under attack by a large group of monkeys that are trying to snatch babies and attack unsuspecting victims. Plus, Prince William is being called the Prince of Pegging and if you don’t immediately know why, you’ll find out.

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Today I discuss Pat Benatar’s heroic decisions to no longer sing her hit song “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” because of the recent string of shootings. If only all of us could do something as selfless and noble as this sensational songstress. Speaking of crazy ladies, there’s an increasing number of women marrying themselves as “Sologamy” is on the rise, which is kinda sad but also very funny. I continue my reign as Prophet of Doom as 7-Eleven was forced to cut 880 corporate jobs after I exposed their nefarious scheme and I breakdown a wild thread that went viral on Twitter!

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The new timeline is delivering some fantastic results and the craziness is already accelerating. Rick Martin is being accused his nephew of having a 7 month long incestuous relationship, an Iranian man got a water bottle stuck up his anus, Armie Hammer is indeed working as a timeshare salesman in the Caymen Islands, and a horny husband bought a sex doll that looks just like his wife for when she’s not in the mood. The wild world of wtf is a beautiful place to be.

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Today we discuss the tragic assassination of former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and whether or not he had information that could lead to the arrest of Hilary Clinton. The infamous Georgia Guidestones were blown up and destroyed so that money was wasted. CERN was turned back on July 5th and if you connect the dots from that to Shinzo Abe’s assassination along with the Georgia Guidestones being blown up, I’ve uncovered what I believe to be a nefarious plot involving one of America’s most popular convenience stores that could prove to be decades in the making. Elon Musk is reportedly pulling out of his Twitter deal and it’s apparently the first time he’s ever pulled out of anything. After signing with Daily Wire, Jordan B. Peterson is on a quest for vengeance and it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

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