Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

UPDATED APRIL 2024!  If you are at all curious about or interested in what coaching can do for you and your relationship, or even what it IS, this bonus episode will help clarify that, and what my specific version of it, for highly sensitive people,  is all about. Since I have changed a few things over the years in what and how I offer marriage coaching, I wanted to update you about those changes as well as help answer some common questions about it all.

So listen in to here the answers to these questions (I recommend listening to the full episode, but you can also pick and choose which question you want to hear the answer for by jumping to that time in the episode, noted by each question):

• What is marriage/relationship coaching and Hannah’s program, Treasured? (@ 4 mins)
• Who is it for? (@ 7 mins 10 seconds)
• Why is Treasured different and will it work if other things haven't? (@10 mins 15 seconds)
• Can my partner and our relationship really change if it’s only me working on my end of things? (@18 mins 25 secs) 
• Why a group program for such a personal thing? Will I be helped as much as I would be in 1:1? (@ 22 mins 51 secs)
• What are the specifics of how it works? (29:45)
• Why would I do a coaching program, instead of just doing it on my own, like from the podcast? (33:48)
• How do I enroll? (36:09)
• Can I talk to you before committing? (37:11)

If you want a happier, more fulfilling, loving dynamic between you and your spouse, you’ve got to find out how coaching can help. Listen in.

SHOW NOTES:
Treasured description and info page
Treasured FAQ
To get started, fill out The Great Mutual Fit Form here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

You can find out all about Treasured at the description page HERE. 

You can enroll HERE.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

089  As you may have heard, self-love is key to having deep lasting love and harmony between you and your spouse–in SO many ways. 

I know you may get that– in theory! But too many highly sensitive people leave it at that--just theory. Understanding this intellectually does not give you what you need to actually FEEL and LIVE FROM that self-love– nor benefit from all it makes possible for you in your marriage and life.

And, truth be told, you may not really even know what it MEANS to have self love. I know I was confused for a long time about it, myself. 

So today I want to help you:

• understand what self-love is (and isn’t), 
• why it matters in your marriage
• why it’s normal to lack self-love as an HSP (it’s not your fault!) and why we as adults need to learn how to have this deep fondness for ourselves.
• understand 7 robust keys to actually develop bone deep self-love, so you can have a marriage you LOVE.

I also share my own experience of love and relationships when I lived with a lack of self love, and how my marriage and life changed drastically for the way-better when I developed it.

Developing real self love takes learning, practice, and letting go of a lot that gets in the way of FEELing it in your bones. But it is one of the most worthwhile things you will EVER do for yourself, your marriage, and your entire experience of life.

These 7 keys will get you on the right path, starting today.

This is a hearty, powerful, essential episode, so do not miss it. And bring a pen, you may want to take notes!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Learn about and join TREASURED here.
Hannah's Website.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

088  We’ve all heard how Self-Love is important, but actually loving ourselves often remains very mysterious and elusive. So we are embarking today on a series all about self-love––because it is such an essential part of having a great marriage, especially as a highly sensitive person…and I want YOU to reap the huge rewards of having lots of it! 

My clients actually develop real self-love. And a few of them have agreed to come on the podcast to share their wisdom and experience with self-love with you, so you can begin developing it more, too.

 Today, my client, Kim, shares her experience of love and life before and after developing real self-love, and offers some really great wisdom around it for you.

Listen in to hear:

• Why she was averse to self-love at first and why is she swears by it now.
  
  
• How developing self love not only seriously benefited her,  but how it improved  her relationship –and benefitted her fiancé, too. 
  
  
• How it ripples out to lots of others in her world, too
  
  
• How incredibly well she fared by doing the work to develop self-love through the traumatic experience of infidelity (betrayal trauma)—as compared to the “norm”.
  
  
• What self-love entails
  
  
• Tips Kim has for you to develop more of it
  
  
• Nuances in self-love for HSPs.
  
  
• How this is a huge piece of Leading Love in your marriage and creating a Revolution of Love in your marriage–and entire life.

Kim and I are both excited for you to hear her story, and take away practical insights and emotional shifts around self-love, too. Join us as we laugh, muse, ponder, and actually cry joy-tears together in this powerful interview!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Click here to learn about and join TREASURED.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

087  For most of us highly sensitive women, the ultimate marriage would be one that feels truly, lovingly, interdependent.

Where you and your significant other are mutually supportive, you face the daily challenges of living together with a sense of ally-ship, where you lean on each other, and love helping each other grow and evolve and overcome hard moments and old wounds, where you naturally lift each other up, and the daily to-dos get done with ease and collaboration…where you work through hard emotions together and you help each other feel connected and safe.

We all want this kind of relationship. But in our eagerness to have that, we often make the mistake that costs us our happiness in marriage–or even our marriage itself..

...the mistake of skipping over the KEY WORK  that will actually allow us to have that interdependent love we so desire.

And so we unconsciously find ourselves instead in an emotionally dependent relationship, instead–one that is full of struggles, disconnection, and more heartache than we ever asked for.

In this episode you’ll learn: 

• what I mean by emotional dependence, 
• if and where you may be falling into that (very normal in our modern world) trap, 
• why it’s taking you further from the marriage you really want, 
• why there’s no need for any shame or self-blame about this
• and most importantly, what you can do to reverse it and move your marriage toward the lovingly interdependent one you want!  (And YES, you have that power!)

Listen in to harness that huge influence over how your marriage goes, how loved, secure, and in love you feel, and how lovingly and supportively your partner relates to you.

And perk your ears for the big announcement I make that you’ll want to learn all about!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Click here to learn about and join TREASURED.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

086  Pleasure, feeling good, sex, and enjoying being in our bodies are such wonderful, beneficial, and important parts of marriage…(and, really, being human beings!). I mean, why bother being married if there' s no pleasure to be had in it? 

Bringing MORE pleasure into our lives than many of us have currently is revolutionary, not just for our marriages, but for our world. Our pleasure benefits our marriages-- and so much more!

Today I talk with a very special guest, Danielle Savory, Sex and Pleasure Coach for women–and fellow highly sensitive woman!-- about how to bring more pleasure into your sex life and your life in general, and WHY it changes everything for the better.

Listen in to hear us dive into (with lots of laughter, stories, and fun facts):

• What true pleasure actually is– and isn't.
  
  
• Why prioritizing pleasure as women is so impactful on our own wellbeing, our love lives, and in our current world –and some of the science behind it.
  
  
• What blocks us from allowing ourselves the tons of pleasure available all around and what gets in the way of having more sexual pleasure in our intimate relationship.
  
  
• How we can open up to more pleasure in the bedroom and in general in our lives, including simple mindset shifts and practices you can apply today.
  
  
• How your sensitivity can help you have more pleasure.
  
  
• A few great tips for better sex as hsp women!
  
  
• And more…

This episode is essential listening for any sensitive woman wanting to have a great marriage and to feel better in life–and, by doing so, even contribute to a better world.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

Show Notes:
Danielle’s Website
Danielle’s Instagram: @danielle.savory or click here
Danielle’s podcast: It’s My Pleasure

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

085  We have a limited amount of time in our lives. But how we use our time will determine how fulfilling our lives are–and how fulfilling our marriages are.

If we have a mindset that time is scarce, or there's too much to do (which can be really common for us as highly sensitive women )we will keep ourselves from prioritizing the things that most matter to us. . .

. . . and end up with a life–and a love life– that is lacking in nourishment, love, connection, joy, and all the things we truly desire, and that bring us the greatest meaning.

So if your marriage isn’t as fulfilling and loving as you want it to be, and if your life isn’t as rich and nourishing as you want it to be, it's time to take a look at how you are thinking about and using your time.

In this episode, we dive into:

• determining what really matters to you, 
  
  
• noticing whether you are using your time in service of what you most care about, 
  
  
• and how you can shift the way you relate to time in a way that makes it possible for you to actually bring to life the marriage (and other life goals) you really want.
  
  

Buckle up, grab a pen, and be ready to move into a new era of approaching your day-to-day life in a way that's way more aligned with what most matters to you, and that will lead to a future of way more love and fulfillment.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:

• Elephant Journal Article Mentioned
• Hannah's website
• Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

If you sometimes (or often) feel like your marriage is more of a business partnership than a romantic relationship, or you go through long phases when things feel kind of dry and dull and between you and your significant other, this episode is a must-listen.

It’s so easy– with all the do-to’s of running a life together with careers, a home to take care of, children, extended family, and pets–to fall into spending most of airtime with your partner talking about what needs to get done.

Speaking from experience, this, over time, can make your marriage metaphorically shift from being like a juicy mango, to more like a dry piece of toast. 

Since I know that's not what you want your marriage to feel like, it’s time to put an end to that now.

Today you will learn one key practical logistical thing you can do, broken down into 4 simple steps, that will not just make your lives together more organized and efficient, but will actually clear the way for a lot more intimacy, connection, and sense of allyship in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Hop on Hannah's Email List
Grab  THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

083   Want to be able to guide yourself and your marriage into a place of more love, more connection, more light-heartedness and mutual supportiveness (or what I call the land of Real-Enchantment–or lasting love)? Today I introduce you to a tool that will help you do just that!

Because,  the truth is, after some years of marriage or partnership,  it can take some self-guidance to connect to real love for our partner , and STAY there. The kind of love we want in our marriages isn’t just bestowed upon us magically until the end of time. But it can be lovingly cultivated and deepened until it is sustained. 

Enter The Love Spectrum Scale, an awareness tool that will help you guide yourself and your marriage ever-more towards the loving, alive, heart-fulfilling experience you want it to be.

In this episode, you will learn what the Love Spectrum Scale is, how to make a personal usable version of your own,  how to begin using it to help yourself tap into the full range of the most useful emotions in relationships in order to not only make the harder moments in your life with your significant other easier, but to be able to interact with  your partner in ways that make your marriage better every day.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Hop on Hannah's Email List
Hannah's Website
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we are more sensitive to all the things than non-HSPs. Because of this, some popular advice for HSPs can tend toward finding environments and external circumstances that will support our sensitive systems.

That's all fine and good when we can control such things. But when it comes to other people–especially our partner–we can't usually make them “suit” us. We can’t control the “circumstance” of what they do or say. (But boy do some of us try--and it backfires almost always in marriage– ask me how I know!)

In fact, in general, relying on changing external circumstances to be well and happy leaves us quite powerless.

The good news is that you don't actually have to change circumstances to feel great in your marriage, especially once you’ve developed Emotional Agency–in other words, once you’ve learned how to free your emotions from the circumstances outside of you, and be in charge of them from within.

Then you no longer need to try to change or control your significant other (or other things in the world you simply don't have the power to control) in order to feel how you want to feel–and have a great marriage.

In today's episode, I share with you a favorite simple tool, called The Model, to start developing this —a tool that will go a huge way in helping you be very empowered around feeling fulfilled, light, connected, and like a team in your relationship with your significant other –without getting him to change at all.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Set up your consult with Hannah here.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

As a highly sensitive woman, you likely love –and want more—emotional intimacy. So you will want to know what creates it between two people, and what leads you further from it in your marriage.  

In this episode, I share the gold on all of it, and let you in on how to create more emotional intimacy with your husband—even without his active participation. 

We look together at:

• What prevents or erodes intimacy in a long-term relationship, 
  
  
• where it really comes from,
  
  
•  the 2 modes you must operate from to build more of it between you and your significant other,
  
  
• and a couple of surprising not-talked-about truths about what creating that deep loving intimacy really entails--including the very biggest key to it of all.

You’ll walk away with so much more clarity on how to bring the love-sustaining nourishment of emotional intimacy into your own marriage. Don’t miss this episode.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Set up your consult with Hannah here.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.