Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

If you’ve been listening to this podcast at all, it's because you’re an Highly Sensitive Person who wants to make things better, and stay great, in your relationship or marriage. 

If so, it’s important that you understand the two modes we, as HSPs, need to move back and forth between in order to best grow, change, and shift things between us and our significant other (and keep things really healthy).

If we only stay in one of these modes, we will have a much harder time improving our marriages (and any area of our life!).

In this episode, I clue you into what these two modes are, and how you can honor both in order to have the marriage you really want with your partner–and truly, to best make any changes you want in your life as a sensitive soul.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

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079  Most of us limit ourselves (unconsciously, of course!) from feeling as much love as we could in our marriages. We therefore not only miss out on all the love available, but we also miss out on the benefits it brings to our marriages, and to our own selves–of which there are SO many, especially for you as a highly sensitive person. 

Now, you may want to feel more love, but you may also feel like it’s not really up to you. That how much love you feel is contingent on how loving your husband is. You may tend to only experience feeling love when it’s easy to do so, and not so much when your husband does things that make it hard to love.

Today, my friend, we begin to change all of this. Because love is always available to you, and you can even love what is hard to love (only if you want to, of course!). But it is a skill you may need to learn, so it can become habit–or simply natural to you.

When you make a habit of loving without conditions, only good can come of it. 

Listen in to this episode to find out what I mean, how it can bring out the gift of your sensitivity, and how you can be empowered to have so much more love in your marriage and life–no matter what your husband is or isn’t doing– by no longer withholding love unconsciously, and instead making unrestricted love a regular and deeply nurturing part of your life.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

078  This episode offers you encouragement and an important reminder that I know I used to need often, myself. This could be a great episode to listen to with your partner, if they are willing.

Growing up in this world, it is hard to escape taking on certain basic ideas about marriage and love—ones, unfortunately,  that are not only wrong, but also actually prevent us from having the deeply loving and healthy marriages most of us want.

Today I spin those ideas on their head for you and offer you the shame-relieving truth about what it takes to have the kind of marriage you want and deserve.

If you want your marriage to pull out of the hard place it may be in these days, or if you want to take it from okay to amazing, this episode offers you the most fundamental and important key to doing so. You'll take away from it lots of fresh motivation and inspiration and hope to fuel the changes you want. Don’t miss it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Set up your consult here.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

You want to feel like your partner is your teammate in making this marriage better. But you may sometimes (or often) feel alone in doing that work, or it seems he avoids working on certain aspects of your marriage–even if you’ve asked him to. You're not quite sure what it takes to sway the tides and get him improving your marriage by your side.

I have been here, too. But I learned how to change all of that! Now I never feel I’m alone in doing what it takes to make our marriage great. It is a truly sweet thing to see your significant other pro-actively growing and working by your side to improve things between you. 

That’s why I want you to know the secret to inviting him to improve things with you–and having him accept your invitation, of course!

That's what we dive into in this episode. We first look at what NOT to do, and how often our normal approach to getting his support in changing things actually leads to him resisting doing it. Then we dive deep into what you actually need to do to get him on board. 

And it’s not about saying just the right thing, though words are part of it. The key is something deeper, something that you can unlock inside of yourself that will open the door to him wanting to improve things, too.

 Let me lay it out for you, so you can make the changes in you that will lead to him contributing more than ever to having a marriage with you that deepens in its loving sensitivity, intimacy, connection, and mutual support the longer  you’re together.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Set up your consult with Hannah here.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

076  Today I’m sharing with you the 3 phases we go through to get to a mature love that lasts in our marriage. 

Often we don't understand or recognize the phase we’re in, that it is normal, and what we can do to move our relationship through the harder phase and into the place that is most deeply alive and loving–and so we miss out on ever getting there.

Today, that all changes!

In this episode I help you understand what phase you are in now, so you can not be careless or get discouraged, and so you can ultimately transition most smoothly into the deeply unwaveringly, lasting, loving marriage you truly want.

If you aren’t so happy in your marriage, or you feel sorta bored, or are struggling, if you have more fights than you’d like, more annoyance and resentment, more distance and disconnection...or perhaps you're feeling resigned to never feeling happy and satisfied, or are even thinking about leaving, or longing for early days…

This is a normal phase. It doesn’t mean something has gone wrong! It’s a phase you can move beyond.

But I promise, you don't really want to go back to the early days. You want to move forward into the days of Re-enchantment. And you can.

Listen in to hear all about it, and what it takes to move into the best phase of your marriage, one that will not be a  “phase”, but the place you stay for life.

SHOW NOTES
Hop on Hannah's email list here

Learn about and join Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women, TREASURED, here  

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

075  You’ve been listening to this podcast (or other ones on relationships), reading books, learning about how to have the kind of marriage you want. You're trying out new approaches. But you aren't seeing as much change as you wish…and  you feel frustrated, or discouraged, or at the least, not as hopeful about things as you want to feel. Maybe you even feel like you want to quit bothering with all the effort.

If so, you are very likely making 1 simple little error: not recognizing, let alone celebrating, your successes!

This oh-so-common error comes from the wiring of our human brain  (yet again!) and it seriously undermines our capacity to grow and change things in ourselves and in our marriage.

Luckily there’s a simple (and joyful) fix. One that leads to gaining deep and rapid improvement in your marriage.

In this episode I lay it all out for you and help you start seeing your success and celebrating your growth, so you can create the marriage you really want with your partner, and have fun –and a rich sense of meaning– along the way.

Don’t miss this one.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Hop on Hannah's email list here
Or visit her website here
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

074  We all are born with 2 particular “biases” of our brains that make lasting love difficult…that is, until we understand them and learn to overcome them!

These innate biases are simply ways our human brains (highly sensitive or not) naturally function that lead to perceiving the world–and our partner –in certain predictable ways. 

If you ever feel resentful, disappointed in, frustrated with, or hurt by your partner…if the same issues are coming up in this relationship that came up in past ones, if you feel less respect, attraction or admiration of your husband than you wish– or you generally just aren’t as happy as you’d like to be in your marriage, I can guarantee that’s at least in part because of these 2 biases.

When we do not understand these biases and how they operate hand in hand, we live our lives at their effect–meaning they rule our experience of love. For the worse…

It’s almost like they cast a painful spell on us (what I call Real but not True syndrome) … leaving us feeling very real painful feelings and wreaking havoc in our marriages.  Interestingly, these feelings aren’t based on truth. They are based on your brain’s biased, subjective, distorted way of seeing things.

Today, I give you the understanding you need to see how these 2 innate biases are negatively affecting your own marriage, and share how you can rise above them by consciously choosing to not fall under their spell–so you can feel so much more of all the good stuff in your marriage, and have a love that lasts for the long haul.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Set Up Your  Consult Here
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

073  Can highly sensitive people become less sensitive? Many HSPs wonder this! And many experts say no.

I have a slightly different take, one that will bring you hope, clarity, and motivation. In this episode I share what I know is possible to change and what isn’t when it comes to being sensitive–especially when it comes to emotional sensitivity.

I break down for you the 5 most common approaches to handling emotions that actually lead to what many of us consider the bad part of being sensitive–in other words, ways of handling our deep feelings that don’t work so well in our relationships, especially.

And I share with you what you need to know, and what you need to be focusing on to not only avoid being “sensitive'' in the worst sense of the word, but also to experience your sensitivity as the special gift it is–one that brings the heights of love and joy into your own life and relationships.

SHOW NOTES
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being for HSP's,  HERE.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Check out the Start Here Podcast Pathway for a suggested route through the most important episodes to start with or review — the ones that will help you feel calmer, more secure, and more hopeful in your relationship. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

It may seem like it will be complex to make your marriage one you love, that there are just so many things you need to do .... And ….it WILL be complicated, if you try to patchwork lots of to-do’s together to improve things.

But I’ve got good news for you: it can actually be simple to improve things by 100% – when you have laid out for you the simple foundational steps that lead to a great marriage.

Today I share with you the basics of the 4 Pillars To An Amazing Marriage– which is the process I have used myself and with all my highly sensitive clients– that takes our marriage from wherever it is (even if quite unhappy) to amazing and thriving.

These 4 pillars make up the foundational mindset and ways of being that lay the groundwork for easy communication, loving interactions, and smooth and peaceful navigation of daily life with your significant other to come naturally–not to mention emotional intimacy, laughter, and even romance with him.

The 4 Pillars are the guide, the map, to help you, HSP, create an ever-deepening happiness in your marriage –and well-being in your life. When we learn and use this process, we unlock the keys to a better life in all arenas… make living life as an HSP not just tolerable, but so fulfilling, so rich, and so positively impactful.

Listen in to this episode to hear me:

• give you a breakdown of each of the 4 steps, 
  
  
• describe how they have benefitted those that have learned them before you
  
  
• illustrate how all 4 pillars can all work together in any given situation or interaction
  
  
•  get you started on implementing them right away.
  
  
• And share how you can develop your skill with each step more deeply

It doesn't have to be overwhelming to make your marriage so much better. You just need a simple but thorough process that addresses the issues and at the source, and unlocks all the good stuff inside you and between you and your partner. This is that process. Don't miss it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Blog with Map of 4 Pillars.
For More Resources On Each Pillar click here and scroll down.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

071  Last week we talked about connecting your significant other's way, and the benefits it brings you. Lest you think you always need to bend to his ways (oh no you don’t), today we discuss connecting YOUR way, and my favorite 5 step process for doing so.

If you love connecting through communication, as so many sensitive women do,  or you simply want more emotional intimacy in your life with your husband, listen all the way through this episode!

In it I:

• lay out a favorite step by step process that you can do weekly to keep the “air clear” between you, and create more understanding and closeness that deepens ongoingly over time.
• Share why this short brief process can be more potent and powerful than other more spontaneous “deeper” forms of connection.
• Describe to you what the roots of intimacy are made up of
• And teach you how to invite your partner to get on board with doing this with you (and what to do if he isn’t up for it.)

I attribute much of the intimacy and amazingness of my marriage to using this process with dedication over the years with my husband. 

 Listen in, try it out, and let it bring more connected intimacy right into the heart of  your marriage.

And even if you don’t plan to implement this process, you will get some great takeaways to improve the communication and intimacy between you!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
 Website: lifeisworthloving.com
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.