Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

In this fundamental episode (the 1st in a 3-part series), we dive into an essential-to-look-at issue--one most sensitive women will need to face and learn to work with if we want to feel more like our husband’s “lover” (someone for him to love and cherish and someone for him to feel loved and cherished by) rather than, well,  his “mother”.

With a whole lot of compassion and honest sharing of my personal journey with it, I address and help you solve this very common challenge: 

Our own urge to control what we cannot control: another adult.

So many of us women fall into this habit unintentionally--and for good well-intentioned reasons. But, it alway backfires and makes marriage a burdensome, duty-bound, sparkless experience that wanes in mutual respect and enjoyment every day. 

And the ironic thing is that our efforts to control our partner actually make us LESS capable of bringing ourselves the loving experiences we want with him.

If you think you don’t have any issue with this, I invite you to listen in to find out for sure. Because, the kind of control I’m talking about shows up in subtle ways, and is completely pervasive in modern marriages--and it slowly kills the love and romance in them.

Learn how to not let it do so, and how you can actually start truly influencing your marriage in a more loving direction, in this episode.

 Listen in to learn:

• the two general categories in which control commonly manifests 
• the signs to look out for that indicate your veering towards control 
• the effect it has on you, your partner, and your marriage
• How to begin moving out of controlly and “mother” energy and into more “lover” energy

So you and your husband can have a marriage that you both love.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
The 7 Most Powerful Phrases To Deepen Connection In Your Marriage
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059   The way to make truly lasting positive changes in your marriage is by addressing the SOURCE of the things that a) keeps you from doing or saying things that lead to a loving relationship, or b) drives you to do things that lead to misunderstanding, hurt, and disconnection.

By making root-deep positive cognitive and emotional shifts, you’ll naturally have way more interactions with your honey full of respect, love, and connection. This podcast, and most of my focus as a teacher and coach, emphasizes this in a big way. (Dive into any episode to start making such shifts today.) 

But there are also some simple actions you can take that have the power to sway things between you and your significant other in big delightful ways--IF you do them. 

Today I share one thing you can do that takes only 6 seconds. Sprinkle this into your daily life together to start feeling more calmness, lightness, connection-- and even a reigniting of passion.

My husband and I make it a basic part of our marriage maintenance, and it seriously juices things up. 

Listen in to find out what it is. Oh, and it’s fun.

If it isn't as easy as it sounds, find out what to do to make it naturally part of your life together.  ( Hint, I shared the answer above.)


ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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There are certain feelings that are like gold when it comes to having a marriage you love. Because feelings are like fuel: they take us places! 

Some feelings lead to spats, disconnection and negative cycles with our partner (resentment for example). 

Others lead to lots of positive interactions and the creation of a culture of more and more love and connection with our husband. Generosity is one of these feelings. It is magic when it comes to love.

Unfortunately, without awareness, it can be so easy to totally unconsciously approach our marriages from the opposite of generosity (simply because we are human!), and therefore end up in a marriage that feels UNgenerous in love.

But the good news is that we don’t have to just wait for love-generating feelings to happen to us. We can choose them, cultivate them, lean into them. To our own benefit, and to the benefit of our marriage.

Today we do so with generosity. So you can have a marriage that generates more generosity for both of you.

In this episode I offer some mindset shifts to help you access this most love-inducing emotion, and make it easy to act it out in your marriage, so you can ultimately invite in more reciprocal generosity and GAIN a whole lot more of what you want to be experiencing in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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Website: Lifeisworthloving.com
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Today I offer you a fun, very actionable thing you can do to re-set your system, gain some valuable perspective, and re-invigorate your sensitive self AND your marriage.

My clients who have implemented this have loved it, and found it so nourishing-- and I myself make it a regular part of tending to my sensitive mind-body-heart system and love life!

In this episode, I share the whys, hows and whats of it, including how it can benefit your marriage.

We also look at the things that tend to get in the way of many of us doing this most nourishing thing for ourselves, and how to get around these obstacles, including some important little mindset shifts you can make to include this love-and-life-benefitting activity as a regular part of your life.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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056  If you ever take things personally, feel hurt by your partner’s words, or get defensive (hello fellow HSPs!)—or if your partner can be critical towards you— this is for you.

You probably feel like you need to stand up for yourself.... Yeah?

But let’s be honest. Most of us do so by getting defensive. I get it! Standing up for yourself by defending yourself feels like a way of not letting your partner walk all over you and treat you poorly.

I don’t want you to feel mistreated, ever. But you know what they say about defense? “Defense is the first act of war.” It tends to fuel the fire of disrespect. Both ways. 

There is a better way. And it involves revising our definition of standing up for ourselves. 

What if “standing up for yourself” doesn’t mean what you’ve always thought it means?

It doesn’t! At least not when it comes to making your marriage one you love. Standing up for yourself in marriage means something way more conducive to love and harmony and having a rock solid relationship with your partner.

Listen in to find out exactly what I mean, and learn the 3 step process that helps you become a master at disarming criticism and standing up for love in your relationship.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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055   If there's a sense of lack-of-luster in your relationship, or you find yourself feeling disinterest, irritation, or disconnection with your husband, or you wonder if your marriage will ever feel good, alive, and totally loving again, it is not necessarily because there is a huge problem between you.

It is more likely because of some very harmless-seeming little things you might not even notice:

Your simple, unremarkable, everyday thoughts.

In this episode, I illustrate this deeply and clearly by sharing a very personal experience of this over the summer, and exactly how I worked with it to feel so much more joy and connection again with my husband (and with myself, too!).

Then I share exactly how you can identify and overcome the same connection and passion-killing thoughts in your own life, so you can move back towards more of the vibrancy, love, and joy in your own marriage.

Listen in to uncover a “gold mine” for a more vibrant marriage, one you can mine over and over for a more and more thriving marriage and life.


ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Where to go for deeper support from Hannah:
Website: www.lifeisworthloving.com
Her Marriage Coaching Program
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

Our Love Is Fragile Syndrome is a silent “ syndrome” ( not a scientific term!) that lurks invisibly in the background of so many relationships and causes a lot of pain and disconnection --where there could instead be lots of love.

If you tend to find yourself wondering if your love can last, or if your partner really loves you, if you tend to read a lack of love into your husband's actions, or you feel you need to avoid conflict or not let your partner know certain aspects of you, you may be suffering with this syndrome to some degree.

It causes couples to miss out on experiencing the love that is there between them and leads to bigger conflicts, lots of misunderstanding, shame and hurt feelings, weaponizing the concept of love languages, and to both of you feeling alone in your marriage, and ultimately CAN lead the marriage to a place of fragility.

This “syndrome” comes from the default natural way our brains tend to work, along with a very normal misalignment in many couples “love languages”.

Luckily, all this is curable.

Listen to this episode to learn just what The Love Is Fragile Syndrome is, identify if it may be lurking in the background of your marriage,  and learn the 3 step remedy process to get you back to feeling a foundation of loving security in your marriage.

Healing this syndrome is marriage saving. Because it is from that renewed sense of love that it's easier to improve communication, solve typical problems, be your authentic full-hearted selves with each other, and ultimately build deeper and deeper physical and emotional intimacy over the course of your lives together.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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053  As much as most of us would love to feel tons of love for the person we’ve chosen as our partner in life, it’s not always so easy to do. In fact, feeling loving feelings can seem very far off sometimes in our marriages.

In this episode, we talk about one of the biggest reasons you may feel disappointed and frustrated about a variety of things your partner does (or does not do): a trick our brains play on us that leads to having a misunderstanding of humanness. 

In order to really deeply love the real human in front of you, you must learn to embrace humanness, the messy flawed tenderness of it all. Because in our marriages there is simply no way around humanness.

This episode defines “humanness” ,  shifts your thinking around it, and walks you through the 2 stages you’ll need to go through to fall in love with the humanness very alive in your marriage.

Listen in to create more space inside you to really love the person by your side and feel a deep sense of being a team in this wild life together--- with all his and your messy imperfections.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Learn about coaching with me here.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

052   Often , for highly sensitive people,  trauma is or has been a part of our lives, and can have a negative impact on our relationships. 

But trauma and autonomic nervous systems responses to stressful events do not have to dictate our lives and keep us locked into painful reactions and patterns, as, Karen C.L. Anderson (a master-certified life coach and author who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for their own growth), and I dive into in this episode.

We discuss that there are various ways to work with trauma and help heal the nervous system, making it more resilient and responsive, instead of reactive.  We give you some basic essential understandings and tools to help you begin unwinding it, so you can feel more at ease in your skin and in all your relationships.

With personal stories and candid conversation, in this episode,  we help you:

• Understand what trauma is and isn’t (this can easily get confused)
  
  
• Decipher when you may need a trauma specialists help
  
  
• Grasp how, rather than something to be ashamed of, trauma is a very normal human thing (this is so important to understand, and we share why)
  
  
• Understand why you may feel and act how you do with your loved ones (so you can reduce any guilt about it!)
  
  
• Identify how your nervous system stress responses may look, and how they may show up in your closest relationships, so you can have way more self- awareness and the knowledge to begin making healing shifts
  
  
• Ways to kindly and lovingly tend to your own nervous system and gently begin unwinding trauma patterns 
  
  

Often, when we learn we may have trauma, we feel stuck with it, helpless to change things. We want you to know that that is not so, and you have so much more agency over your own mind-body-heart system than you may feel right now. 

Join us to start making the littlest changes that will add up to feeling so much more at peace and in control of your mind, emotions, nervous system-- and ultimately your marriage and other relationships.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Find all things Karen C. L. Anderson at her website: www.kclanderson.com

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

051  Knowing how and when to set a “Relationship Boundary” is an essential part of blazing the trail to a more respectful, loving, high-integrity marriage for both you and your husband.

Setting appropriate boundaries are, 1st, a way to take loving care and be respectful of yourself and the relationship, and 2nd, they teach your significant other to understand what’s okay by you and what isn’t, helping eliminate his disrespectful behaviors.

“Boundaries” are often misconstrued or not used correctly, and when that's the case they don’t work, or even backfire. This episode clarifies for you exactly how and when use them, and teaches you the essentials of what you need to know when it comes to Relationship Boundaries, including:

• What the intention behind must be for them to work well in love
  
  
• The difference between true appropriate boundary-setting and control (these get confused all the time! Knowing the difference is key, because one works, and one makes things worse!)
  
  
• When to use boundaries versus when to use requests.
  
  
• How to not overuse boundaries, what to do instead, and how to decipher when your work is not boundary setting, but actually something else (more internal).
  
  
• What state of being is most effective for using boundaries successfully
  
  
• The 4 steps to set healthy boundaries in your relationship
  
  
• Why communicating your boundaries ahead of time may be beneficial and more effective
  
  
• The very most important part of boundary setting that often gets dropped- and makes them simply not work.
  
  
• The most common obstacles that may get in the way of setting boundaries in a way that works, and solutions to overcome them

We ALL need to set boundaries from time to time, especially as an HSP. 

If you never set boundaries and are ready to bring some fierce love to your marriage, or you use them a whole lot, or have tried without much success, this episode is for you. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Learn more about coaching with Hannah

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.