Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

#050  We modern women expect more out of marriage and men than ever. We tend to want our husbands to be a more mature, evolved, supportive partner with whom we can regularly connect intimately on a deep physical and emotional level. 

But, in many cases, our men don’t seem to be able to rise up and meet us in that place as much as we want. 

Today, we dive in and look at why— and what you can do about it.

The bad news is fighting for and trying to get him to BE who we want creates tug-of-war, misery, and powerlessness over our own happiness.

So, how do we create the space for him to grow into the best version of himself in partnership--a man who appreciates you, opens up to you, is a thoughtful, empathetic, full-hearted ally in your life? Listen in to find out.

In this episode, I dive into 2 important keys that will:

• begin dislodging and eliminating outdated unconscious culturally inherited mindsets that lead to a whole lot of pain for both you and him
  
  
• free you up to own and use the relational power you, as a woman, have naturally to make your marriage one you love (you’ll hear the science that backs this up)!
  
  
•  ultimately allow you to make your marriage one you feel so much better in, and one that gives your man the best chance at evolving into the most mature loving version of him possible: a man who responds, considers, feels, and loves consciously.
  
  

This is a fiercely truth-telling episode that, if you let it, will burn a hole in your frustration and resentment and open the doorway to having the supportive deeply loving marriage you want--and a husband who is likelier than ever to evolve in a positive direction right alongside you into the future.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Grab the free guide: THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Work with Hannah

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

If you feel resentment or annoyance often, if you feel burdened by all that you have do for your marriage, or if you feel you get walked all over,  it’s quite possible you aren’t saying “NO” enough to your husband. 

But the trouble is, you may also feel guilty or uncomfortable:

• saying no
  
  
• not doing what he wants you to do
  
  
• or doing what you prefer over what he prefers. 
  
  

What if you could say no and not tolerate things you don’t want to from him --and feel good about it? And even get him on board with it, too? 

What if you could see yourself as a good and loving partner even if you don’t do things just to please your husband?

Listen to this episode to learn how you can do just that with 4 simple shifts in how you think about and do things, and thereby, surprisingly, make your marriage more respectful, genuinely happier, and more loving!

It starts by clearing up a big confusion many of us sensitives have about what being a loving wife looks like, and learning what being loving really means. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Get Started with a Call
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

048   Sometimes we find ourselves in a dynamic we do not like with our partner: we may feel disrespected, looked down upon, controlled. This may be even more common for us HSPs than non-sensitives.

Is there hope to change this dynamic? Can you ever feel like your partner respects you, values your opinion, and sees you as an equal? 

Can you stop him from controlling you?

Yes, you can. Without controlling him in return!

In this podcast, we dive into what it takes from your end--which is likely all it will take to totally change this icky dynamic! Just YOU.

I was once someone who felt controlled by men. But I haven't felt an ounce of that in decades! It took some internal work, but I changed myself so I was no longer controllable. 

This podcast episode lays out the specific The words and actions you can take to stop your husband from exerting control over you.

We also dive into 3 underlying mental-emotional shifts you will need to make in order to keep this up and feel like a natural at it, so you can gain more respectful treatment from your husband and feel on equal loving ground with him.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Get Started with a Consult Call
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

As modern women, we’ve been encouraged to not let ourselves be “doormats” in our relationship with men. 

And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatment, and to stand up for the respect we deserve. 

All of which is so important to have a healthy loving marriage, especially as a sensitive person.

But sometimes we do this in a way that actually makes us feel even more walked all over, more like a doormat--and in more pain than ever. 

So how do we stop being a doormat for REAL?

Listen in to find out how.

Hint: it has to do with understanding what we can control and what we cannot ...and then learning how to control what we ourselves have dominion over--which is our own selves….and becoming Un-walk-over-able!

Even if your man is sometimes unkind, uncool, and disrespectful,  you can put an end to feeling like a doormat-- without FIGHTING, and with dignity, self-containment, confidence, and rooted in love for all involved.

In this episode, I break down the specific of what this entails and  get you started on the path to feeling strong, empowered, respected, and being treated with the kindness, care, and love you deserve.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Grab the free guide: THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
website: lifeisworthloving.com
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

The fact of the matter is there’s a lack of empathy, understanding, attentiveness, care and compassion--in other words, SENSITIVITY!-- in our world and intimate relationships. 

And so many women right now are hungry for more of this sensitivity in their marriages.

I want this for them deeply, too. It's high time to usher into our marriages, and ultimately into our world, the love and sensitivity we deeply yearn for. It’s time to bring about a sensitivity revolution.

So what does that entail and where do we start? 

In this episode I break it down for you, cheer you on and empower you to invite way more of this life-and-love enhancing sensitivity into your own love life and world.

We cover:

• What’s keeping the sensitivity we want just out of reach in our marriages and world
  
  
• Mindset shifts to help you feel empowered, ready, and inspired to put yourself behind your dream of a marriage full of empathy, support, and loving attentiveness.
  
  
• Essential and overlooked understandings about yourself as a sensitive person to grasp, so you can start to deepen into how YOU are naturally the exact the force to bring about these changes  
  
  
• Insights into specific aspects of our sensitivity trait, which may at first glance seem detrimental, but are actually powerful gifts perfectly designed to bring about the kinds of changes we envision. 
  
  
• Why, once you learn to honor and work with your sensitivity, you are perfectly positioned and even meant to successfully lead loving sensitivity in your own mini-realm.
  
  
• And how that doesn’t mean being a doormat, or being nice and sweet all the time, but rather requires strong loving self-advocacy, not tolerating mistreatment, and fiercely standing up for the respect you deserve.
  
  
• How the work to make these big changes is actually very intimate and accessible, as it starts right here in you and your marriage.
  
  
• And how by working to bring more sensitivity into your marriage, you’re actually bringing about the exact medicine the planet, as a whole, needs to heal. 
  
  

If you want to bring about a sea-change of sensitivity in your marriage and in the larger world— one that will make both into realms you are naturally much happier in—this is a must listen episode!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
4 Simple Doable Steps To The Marriage You Want
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Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

We live in a world where so much focus and energy is directed into our career or work and being productive. This doesn't work well for highly sensitive people, nor does it support having a great marriage or an overall fulfilling life. 

It does not have to be this way. If we want a life we actually enjoy living, we HSPs need to make the shift from life supporting our WORK to work being in service to our lives and relationships! 

This is totally possible! Today, Laurie Carlson, a Life Coach who helps HSPs and Empaths nurture their sensitivity so it can be the foundation of their success, and I talk about how.

Listen in to hear:

• Why our “normal” approach to work doesn't work so well for HSPs (or most humans, actually!) and what it costs us in the other areas of our life
• How our relationship to our work life has a direct impact on our love life
• Why our sense of value is so intertwined with having a successful career 
• Steps to disentangle your sense of value from your work and productivity
• Small but essential changes you can make today as an HSP to start claiming your time to support the relationships, career, and life you really want 
• Stories from our own lives and our clients lives of how we are all, as HSP women with families and careers, working on doing this, and the beneficial impact it's making all around.

Laurie and I are both here to help HSP revolutionize the way we relate to the things that matter most to us in our lives. Join us in this episode to get clear direction and deep insights to chew on that will steer you towards having a life filled with relationships and experiences you love.


ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Find Laurie at lauriecarlson.com or on Instagram  @hsp.lifecoach
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

044 If you've ever felt unhappy in your marriage, if you ever look back on the early days or your relationship --or even your single days-- with a longing for those happier times, or if you ever feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself in this marriage, this episode is for you.

Where does our happiness really come from in our marriages? Whose job is it to bring pleasure and enjoyment to you? Whose devotion to your joy and fulfillment matters most in your marriage?

There's one answer that many of us subscribe to unconsciously that paves the way for LESS happiness and fulfillment, and one that is the route to MORE vibrancy and joy in ourselves and our marriages.

So often we think our man is the source of our happiness in our marriages (don't think that's you? It can show up in subtle ways. Listen in to find out more). But when we do this we totally overlook the deep well of happiness available to us all the time, no matter what’s going on with our partner.

When we hand off this job to our man, it’s almost always a love, joy, and attraction downer. But when we reconnect with our own capacity to bring ourselves a sense of fullness and happiness in our lives, we most often end up inspiring more devotion from our husbands.

Listen in to hear me break this all down with fun stories and metaphors, a 2-step process that clarifies where your own focus needs to be, and real life examples of how powerful the effect all this has on your fulfillment, pleasure, and happiness in your life and marriage.


ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Apply for and Schedule your consult here
Or email Hannah at [email protected]
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

043  As Highly Sensitive People, traveling or even day adventures can pose some extra challenges, (i.e, be hard)--especially when traveling with a non-HSP partner.

But, seeing new places, visiting loved ones, and having a change of scenery are not only things many of us would like to do, but things that actually benefit us and our marriage if navigated in a way that honors our sensitivity.

So how do we approach trip-taking in a way that WORKS for us sensitives, and makes them really enjoyable for both ourselves AND our partner?

In this practical episode, you will learn 8 specific things you can do to make any trip with your partner so much easier, more connecting, and more fun, and even return to “regular life” feeling refreshed (instead of like you need a vacation from your vacation!)

We cover: 

• The challenges many of us HSP’s face when it comes to getting out in the world and traveling--especially when our partner is along for the ride.
  
  
• The effects of overstimulation on our mood and ability to engage well, and why it’s so common for highly sensitive people when we travel
  
  
• Ways to work with your partner’s higher interest for go-go-going and seeing and doing all the things, and your need for decompression, so you both feel happy and satisfied with your trip.
  
  
• Ways to think intentionally, plan ahead, and things to bring to make your time the most relaxed, refreshing, joyful adventure possible.
  
  
• The most important thing to know about communicating to your partner about your travel needs as an HSP
  
  
• The positive impact on our marriage  and for all involved when we tend lovingly to our sensitivity when we are away from home
  
  

I illustrate this whole thing with stories and my own personal learnings from my recent anniversary trip with my husband, which started off hard, but wound up being deeply connecting and fun for both of us.

Listen in to learn how you can have the same experience on all your future travels.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

042  You've asked him to be more romantic. He isn't doing it. Now what?

There’s not a whole lot more frustrating in a relationship than asking your partner for something (especially something vulnerable like more romance) and have him not agree --or agree and then not follow through!!

It can leave you feeling helpless to get your desires for intimacy and connection met. It can even be a deal breaker. 

But wait. You have way more sway here than you may feel. EVEN if you’ve already asked him in the highly effective ways I shared in episode 30, and it isn’t “working”.

In todays episode we dive into 3 essential steps to take if you want your partner to be more affectionate, more flirty, more loving, or to initiate sex more, or speak more of YOUR love language. 

We dive into:

• What’s most often at the root of this issue 
  
  
• The opportunity that lies in this challenge
  
  
• How to set the stage for effective communication around this
  
  
• Specific ways to approach your husband to make sure you’ve communicated in ways he’s most likely to understand and get on board with…
  
  
• How to improve things in this area even if he says no or isn’t able to do the things you want (which is totally empowering and important to do anyway—even if your communicating works to get him to do more of what you want!)
  
  
• The immense possibility that taking empowered actions around this will lead to in your life
  
  

If you want to feel more desired by your partner, if you want to feel more cherished, if you love romance and affection ….and you feel it’s insufficient in your marriage, give this episode a serious listen. Take notes! And then put these 3 steps into action.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Related episodes:
#29  From Complaint To Connection
#30. 2 Highly Effective Ways To Ask For (And Get) What You Want
Apply for and Schedule your consult here

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

Reactivity, tension, and emotional and physical pain can be so normal in our busy day-to-day lives. Yet they totally undermine our ability to enjoy our lives, connect with our loved ones in the deeper ways we want, and reach our goals.

So how do we move back to a calmer, clearer, and more connected place (and stay there more often) --without taking hours out of our days, or making a giant overhaul of our life?

It’s all about the tiny moments--or micro-moments! Join Amy Lepage, Somatic Movement & Functional Movement Therapist, and I as we talk about the micro-interventions you can integrate into your daily life to shift out of any form of emotional or physical pain, so you can experience a much more connection and enjoyment in your life.  

Listen to this candid conversation to learn:

• How connecting to yourself directly for just 1 minute here and 30 seconds there leads to feeling way more centered and relaxed overall and positively enhances connection with others in your life.
  
  
• How our natural tendency to solve things out there is the exact opposite approach to what actually works to shift things for the better…and what to do to really “fix” things. 
  
  
• Why bringing our focus to our internal experience makes all the difference in how things go “out there” with our family and partner and even career.
  
  
• How using micro moments starts to create an overall more calm connected environment in your partnership and family.
  
  
• What awareness’s role is in reducing tension and stress
  
  
• How attending to the body is a fundamental part of creating positive emotional shifts
  
  
• Different types of micro-interventions you can try out to develop more emotional agency and feel better all day long. 
  
  
• Our own experiences of working with my micro moments to move out of pained, reactive spaces on a daily basis, what that actually looks like in our personal lives, and the profound benefits each of us have experienced by doing so.
  
  
• How using micro moments is a beautiful way to gently and lovingly look at the more difficult aspects of ourselves and build a more compassionate relationship with ourselves— which is foundational to having a great relationship with your partner, feeling lighter, more relaxed, and playful every day, and showing up fully for the things that matter to you most.
  
  

Amy is a beautiful example of someone who’s building a loving relationship with herself in the micro moments, and enjoying the ripple effect of sweeter connection, and making a deeply positive contribution to the world. 

Dive in to learn how you can do the same.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES

Find Amy:
~on Instagram at @lepageamy  OR  @emergechildbirth
~on her website: www.emergewithamylepage.com
~Email her at: [email protected]

Find Hannah at lifeisworthloving.com