Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

030   Being willing to ask for what you want from your husband, whether it’s help with chores, or time to connect with him, is simply an essential part of feeling supported in your relationship. 

Many women, though, have resistance to asking for what they want, or simply go about it in ways that aren’t very successful, and then end up feeling discouraged, resentful, and unsupported in their marriage.

This episode helps you turn that around and empowers you to have a high success rate in getting the responses you want, the loving gestures you want, and things done around the house. 

 I share 2 specific highly effective communication tactics to make requests (along with a couple of things to avoid), so you can compel your man to WANT to do the things you want him to. 

Listen in to learn how to get more support from your partner, feel so much more satisfaction and connection, and anything else you are wanting to experience in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

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SHOW NOTES
Grab the free guide: THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

029  If you’re a sensitive woman who loves connection and wants to feel closer to your partner, this episode is for you.

There is so much connection available to us in our intimate relationships. And yet so many of us aren’t experiencing it --often, tragically, to the point that many women question if their relationship is worth continuing.

But it’s most often not that connection is unavailable in our relationship, but because we’re going about trying to get it in the wrong way, with approaches that backfire!

It’s kind of like being given a new car before you get your license, then trying to learn to drive it on your own; and when it jolts when you hit the brakes or press the gas, you say, “Take this vehicle back. It’s no good!” But the vehicle was never the problem. You simply hadn’t yet learned to drive.

Just like it takes some learning to be able to drive a car smoothly, it can take developing some skills to gain access to the connection you want in your marriage, instead of pushing it away.

In this episode, you’ll learn what to stop doing that creates disconnection: speaking to what you don’t want, otherwise known as complaining. This was an old go-to backfiring tactic of my own and oh-so-common for HSPs.   

Then you’ll learn what to do that DOES create connection: speaking to what you DO want.

This requires embracing the magic secret sauce, which I share all about, that gains you access to the yummiest, sweetest, most tender connection possible.

(Hint: it can feel uncomfortable, but it will gain you the kind of strength and security you most want: that of genuine, lasting, loving closeness with your husband.)

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Link to schedule your consult

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

028  To get what we want in our marriages, many of us HSPs unconsciously fall into using some tactics that...backfire. In this episode, I share what those are and dive deep into 2 of my personal old go-to’s: blame and criticism.

 They were at the heart of my first marriage's demise. From my end. I want to help you to avoid that experience. 

Blame and criticism can be sneaky, and insert themselves into our patterns of behavior just below our conscious awareness. So it’s important to take a kind close look at where and how they might show up for you.

It’s also so key to know that these tactics aren’t BAD. They don’t make you bad for getting caught in their sticky net. They just don’t work well. They leave you with a hardened heart and powerless to improve things. And they ultimately feel awful to use. 

Once we catch ourselves using them, we can stop using them and learn better ways that actually work.

In this episode, we discuss: 

• The problems with blame and criticism and why you really don’t want to do it chronically.
• Why it’s not your fault if you use these tactics
• How to recognize blame and criticism and some of the sneaky ways we do it without realizing it. 
• How to avoid making the common mistake many women fall into that stops them from changing the habit or makes it all worse…
• The antidote to blame and how to break the habit
• And what you need to know and do instead that will free you up to feel lighter and more energized, and way more empowered to learn and implement effective strategies to have more of what you want in your marriage.
• what to do if you revert into the habit again in the future to make your marriage ever more into a zone of loving safety.

 Though not a FUN topic, the reward on the other side of being willing to look at and free yourself from these tactics is delightful. I’m living it now: being a woman I feel great about being, with a marriage I love! I celebrate you for taking steps towards creating the same for yourself.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Link to schedule your consult

Related Episodes Mentioned:
#22 How To Encourage More Of What You Want From Your Husband
#11 The HSP Mind-Body-Heart-Slump
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

Peruse the Blog

027   Very often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backward: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves.

But focusing on him isn’t where you pack the most punch for actual change!

There is a more effective, easier, and more rewarding approach to improving your marriage, where you actually have powerful influence to have the loving, connected, supportive marriage you want with your husband.

It entails bringing your focus back to YOURSELF, by answering this essential question: “Who do I want to be in my relationship?”.  And then centering your focus on becoming her.

This will get way better results in your marriage.

In this episode, we look at what it means to be who you want to be and WHY focusing on this is so effective when we want to improve our love lives.  

I illustrate this with an example of a challenge in my own marriage and the difference in results I get when I'm focusing on my husband improving, versus stepping into being who I really want to be, instead.  

Then I help you define for yourself who you want to be. 

Creating this clear vision for yourself is essential in order to actually take that journey of becoming her. Once you take this step you will be on the way to truly making positive changes by leaps and bounds in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Website
The 7 Most Powerful Phrases To Deepen Connection In Your Marriage

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

026    What allows us big success in one area, and not in another? The answer has to do with not just what WE THINK matters most to us, but what we prioritize with our actions. 

When we truly value something, we put it at the forefront of our lives. Getting clear on this is key to success in our lives and marriages. 

Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we unconsciously undervalue the things that are most important, like our marriages. We overlook how immensely valuable a happy marriage is, and we thereby undermine our ability to actually be happy in ours.

It's essential to catch ourselves when this happens and reassess what we truly value most, so we can put our attention back where it counts the most and get the very most out of this life we are living.

In this episode, I break down the tangible and intangible value of a happy marriage, so you can clarify for yourself how important your emotional well-being and your marriage are to you, or if other areas matter more to you. This will allow you to direct the full force of your focus on it, so you can truly succeed in bringing what you most value into your life. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Coach with me.
Email Hannah at [email protected]

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

#025  I am celebrating this 25th episode of the podcast with a very special guest: My hubby! 

We get really open and honest and share what is great and not so great in our marriage-- so you can learn from us and make your marriage more loving and amazing.

We dive right in and discuss:

• What it’s like for my husband to be married to an HSP-- the challenges and the joys.
• What an HSP brings to the relationship that can really help the relationship be great. 
• How being so relationship-oriented leads to our relationship being so good
• How the woman developing big relationship skills makes such a profound difference in our marriages and lives.
• How we use the hard stuff in our marriage to bring us closer.
• What we do to intentionally create the experiences we want to have in our marriage 
• What some of the keys are for us (and other couples that include a sensitive person) to make our lives together loving and connected, and fun, while at the same time being responsible adults who care for a family, a home, and careers.
• Keys to understanding how we women can support our partners in supporting us with our sensitivity.
• Whether differences make or break a relationship. 
• Cultivating mutual attraction and having a rich fulfilling life together.
• My husband's wise advice for women on how to approach your partner for the best outcomes.
• And more...

Come listen and learn from a couple who is thriving not in spite of, but BECAUSE of, sensitivity.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

NOTES:
contact me at [email protected]

024   What makes you lovable? Can you make yourself more lovable? Is it your fault if your husband isn’t finding you irresistibly lovable? Do you have to EARN his love? Or are you totally lovable right now? 

Maybe it's not so cut and dry. Come find out in this episode.

If you ever:

• have trouble saying no, 
• or worry about your partner getting upset, 
• or get defensive, 
• or take things personally
• feel less valued than you’d like, 
•  your husband might not love you as much as you wish 
• (or you don’t feel love for him as much as you’d like)
• or you’re a bit hard-up in the feeling-good-about-yourself department…

( in other words, if you are a normal highly sensitive person!)

. . .  this is a must-listen episode.

Because you ARE ever so lovable. And ….good extraordinary love between two people is not a given! Luckily, there’s so much you can do to feel this love reflected back to you more from others around you.

Dig in to this fun episode (I share some of my own stories, and talk about mud and gold and mangos!) to start to access this lovability, so you can have the most love possible in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

lifeisworthloving.com

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#023   In this episode, I talk with Julia McGarey, the Life Coach for Parents of Highly Sensitive Kids, about how we sensitive parents can raise healthy happy kids AND have great marriages at the same time. 

Although it can often feel like a great marriage and happy children are mutually exclusive, they actually can go hand in hand. 

Tune in to learn how to make that the case for you and your family.

We cover:

• How to create more well-being in our marriages while raising kids -- even sensitive kids  --well.
• How the well-being of your marriage affects the kids, both in a positive and negative sense.
•  How come your emotional well-being is so important for sensitive kids. 
• Tips to stay centered and make life easier as an HSP, while raising a family. 
• How to tell if your child is sensitive, and why it matters.
• Dealing with the big feelings of a Highly Sensitive Child and navigating the times when children are going through harder phases.
• How to stop getting caught in the trap of “there’s no time for each other because of the kids” and create time for yourself and your marriage while providing the kiddos with what they need to thrive.
• Creating more connection with your kids and your partnership.
• Helping kids be helpful team players in the family and grow into great humans!
• And more

Come hear it all from the mouths of two Highly Sensitive moms and experts in thriving as a family when one, some, or all of you are sensitive. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Click to join:  THE CLOSER TO YOUR HUSBAND IN 7 DAYS CHALLENGE 
Find Julia on Instagram  @partneredpathparenting or at her website: partneredpath.com

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

#022  In this important episode (the last of the 3 part series about experiencing your man as a great partner),  learn exactly what to do to start encouraging your spouse to be and do more of what you’d like him to, while feeling so good about yourself--like you’re being the loving sensitive partner you want to be, too!

With stories to illustrate and inspire you, what I offer you in this episode will allow you to create a culture of love in your relationship. 
  When you implement my suggestions,  you will not only help heal old hurts that keep you from deep emotional intimacy, you will also start a positive snowball effect that will lead to ever-deepening affection, respect, and love between you and your husband.

Don’t miss it!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

Show Notes:

Join THE CLOSER TO YOUR HUSBAND IN 7 DAYS CHALLENGE  (fixed link!)
Blog post mentioned: When To Be Pushy

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

#021   In the 2nd installment of this 3 part series, you will bring back some of the warmer feelings that form the basis of a truly lasting loving marriage. 

Despite what we’ve been told, lasting juicy love and romance aren’t just a result of the right “chemistry”. They are built on a foundation of friendship, respect and admiration for each other. 

Even in the healthiest of marriages, those are things we actually need to intentionally grow. By seeing our person as respect and love worthy, by seeing him as precious.

I know, this doesn’t always come so naturally! And it doesn’t mean he needs to do all the right things. Despite what it may feel like, it's not all him that’s creating the disconnection you may feel between you. It’s the fact that you have a human brain--and one that’s rather sensitive to noticing what’s not so good.

When you find it hard to feel love and respect towards your man, you can purposefully walk yourself back towards real connection, and admiration.

No papering over our dislike, or brainwashing yourself with fake appreciation required! Instead, you can find your way to admiration and enjoyment of him again by...seeing with clear eyes. Dive in to hear exactly what I mean and how to do it.

And don’t miss the exciting opportunity I announce at the end!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Join the free Closer To Your Husband In 7 Days Challenge!

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.