Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer

Just because we’re at home with our kids doesn’t mean we’re WITH our kids. And nurturing relationships in your homeschool family won’t happen if you’re not WITH someone.

• homeschool daily, weekly, monthly, yearly routines,

Your mom and dad get it: you’re busy. You are in the family life phase so, of course, you’re not available every day.

A nod to your friends who feel like family: they are also raising families so they get that they’ll take what they can get and accept you’re not always available.

Your partner gets it: you’re both trying to do this together and keep your heads above water. That relationship can wait. Years if it has to. But you both subconsciously agree: YOU can wait.

Your kids don’t get it: they persist. Mommy, finding quality time to connect with our children can be a challenge. However, these “eyeball-to-eyeball” moments are crucial for building strong, lasting relationships. Here are some practical strategies to help you incorporate meaningful interaction into your daily routine, ensuring each child feels seen, heard, and valued.

One of the most effective ways to connect with your child is by scheduling dedicated one-on-one time.

This can be as short as 10-15 minutes daily or a longer period weekly, depending on your schedule. The key is to habit-stack your connection time.

What did I do? Invited one kiddo to hang out with me as we grocery-shopped. They choose their preference for cereal, crackers, and a treat that week. After we were done, we’d go out for a special drink together.

This special time allows you to focus entirely on one child, giving them your undivided attention and creating a space for open communication.

For your consideration: You won’t be perfectly consistent in maintaining this one-on-one time, and that’s okay. Life happens. Flexibility is required. You’re not a better mother if you maintain perfect consistency. Rather, your goal? To spend time doing it with irregular regularity.

Starting the day with a brief check-in can set a positive tone for the day.

“You cannot teach the mind before you have the heart. Connect before you direct,” advises Dr. Gordon Neufeld. “When we connect with them before correcting behaviour or providing direction, it helps them feel safe and more able to process what we need them to do.”

A simple question to ask how they’re doing is all you need. When you do so, you allow each child to share their thoughts and feelings about the day ahead.

It’s a simple yet effective way to show your children that their feelings matter and that you are there to support them.

For your consideration: I’ve learned this is also an effective way to gather intel. To learn where each child is at, to learn what they need, and to help connect the dots to their heart before you ask them to do anything and before they see their siblings. If they get what they need emotionally, they are likely to give to others emotionally.

Involving your kids in meal preparation and cleanup provides a wonderful opportunity for eye contact and conversation.

Unless, of course, they’re teenagers. Then they might be unhappily washing those dishes, again. “Mom, how many times do I have to help clean up the kitchen”?

“I dunno, honey, about a decade and a half fewer years than I’ve had to do them.”

These moments can be filled with laughter, learning, and bonding as you work together to prepare and enjoy meals. It also teaches valuable life skills and fosters a sense of teamwork.

For your consideration: Some days, you’ll just do the mundane tasks of meal prep and cleaning up together. Though they aren’t exciting, they will be part of your memory bank you create with the kids. Some holiday in the future, they’ll volunteer to join you in the kitchen to tackle the optimistic menu you’ve created for their childhood memory banks. And they won’t complain! They’ll be happy to continue the traditions with you!

Of course, you know this one!

Some of my very favourite memories (& photos) include various books with various kids on the sofa in the Great Room.

These moments are so special that my teen and older kids still allow me time to sit with them and read together from whatever they’re presently reading.

It is a fantastic way to bond with your children. Sitting close together and sharing stories allows for physical closeness and rich discussions about the plot, the characters, and the setting.

And it might be the number one benefit to homeschool socialization: kids connecting with their parents.

For your consideration: Including readalouds can be an irregular part of your routine (it doesn’t have to be done like clockwork every day to be effective.

However, if you decide to include it right after breakfast with the morning basket or after dinner clean and before the bedtime routine, you’ll remember to do it. Though how are you going to forget when every homeschool parent talks about their read-aloud all the time?

Using project time as an opportunity for focused interaction can be very effective. Sitting side by side trying to figure out how to build a computer together (yes, this has happened to me, and no I didn’t help build the computer after all) or helping her figure out how to create an Instagram account so they can build their slime making company, our efforts in connection time.

No, they didn’t make a lot of money, but yes, they did build a sizeable account and many worldwide connections. And absolutely, much slime got stuck in the sink. Highly not recommended!

For your consideration: Don’t script the project time. Let your children decide and you join them in it. Did I want to learn a few chess openings? No. Did I do it to connect with my son? Absolutely. Choosing to follow along in their interests will make them feel seen and heard.

Ending the day by inviting them to connect will likely garner your greatest connection time.

Even if you’re past the “tuck everyone into bed” routine (and if you’re not, believe it or not, that stage comes to an end!), you can make sure to hug them, tell them you love them, acknowledge something about them and why you’re grateful for them before they head to bed.

Encourage them to share their highs and lows, and actively listen and engage in their stories.

For your consideration: These connecting moments add cash to your love bank. What’s the love bank? Read more below.

“In a nutshell: With every person you interact with, you develop an internal emotional Love Bank.  Each interaction you have with them either adds deposits to your bank account or withdrawals.  Over time, your feelings for a person tend to reflect the number of deposits and withdrawals you have had with them.  If most of your interactions are more positive, you will enjoy that person and seek to be around them. You’ll also be able to recover more quickly when they do things that bother you. On the other hand, if your time with them is marked by conflict, turmoil, or other negative emotions, you can start to run a deficit in your love bank. In these relationships, not only do you seek to avoid them, but even minor annoyances become more amplified because your bank, or tank, is nearly empty.”

You probably don’t need to be told to engage in outdoor activities like walking, hiking, or playing sports which naturally promotes face-to-face interaction and open conversation.

You’re more present. (Assuming you’re not also glued to Instagram.)

These activities provide a relaxed environment where children might feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Unless of course, you’ve decided to take a three-hour hike to the edge of civilization, aka the …with four kids under the age of 11 without a bottle of water. Then there is no relaxation for the weary. Just say no to outdoors without water bottles.

Designating certain times or areas of the house as technology-free zones ensures uninterrupted interaction. For example, making meal times and family gatherings tech-free can encourage direct communication and foster a stronger family bond.

For your consideration: Or you can set aside a day a week to be tech-free!

Building relationships in your homeschool family can always begin with game night.

It was our tradition for many years to play a game after dinner. If no one has introduced you to gameschooling, let me explain. Or let Melissa Llado explain:

“Gameschooling provides a unique and effective way to educate children, combining fun and learning seamlessly. By playing games, video games, and creative game-based approaches, parents can tap into the inherent potential of games to enhance engagement, skill development, and overall educational outcomes. So, let the games begin!”

For your consideration: Playing games together can lead to a positive addition to our family memory bank, but at the moment, you might be navigating conflict and rivalry. (I’m sure you didn’t need to be told that;)

What’s your favourite game with the kids? I want to hear! Send me a message on the socials.

Regular emotional check-ins can open up avenues for deeper conversations.

Simple questions like “How are you feeling today?” or “Is there anything on your mind?” or “So I remember you saying you didn’t like…tell me more about that” or “What do you think about that thing we saw in the news? I’d like to hear your perspective”.

For your consideration: Whenever you drive anywhere with a child alone, this IS the BEST place to chit chat. So do a road trip along with a teen, suggest your child wants to learn to drive, or just remember that this is the very best place for you to connect.

Being fully present during interactions is crucial. Avoid multitasking and show your children that they have your full attention. This demonstrates that you value their time and are genuinely interested in their lives.

Building relationships with homeschool family means you are definitely spending eyeball-to-eyeball time with them.

For your consideration: Practice mindfulness for your benefit and your kids. The more present you are more often, the more likely you’ll make sure to be with your kids.

Head over to the post to access three meditation playlists.

• One for the morning before you put your feet on the ground.

Begin a transformative journey with the self-directed course, “Foundations of Homeschool Mom Fulfillment: Building Boundaries for the Homeschool Mama.” Tailored for homeschool mamas seeking fulfillment, stronger relationships, and intentional living, this course empowers you to clarify your needs, navigate relationship challenges, and rediscover your identity. With practical tools and actionable steps, this course is designed to address boundary challenges, foster stronger connections, and guide you toward becoming a more intentional and fulfilled version of yourself.

By incorporating these simple strategies into your routine, you will ensure meaningful interactions and deep family connection, making the chaos of homeschooling a bit more manageable and a lot more rewarding.

Interested in learning more about how to connect deeply with your children? Join me for the recorded workshop: “Eyeball to Eyeball: Building Deep Connections in Your Homeschool Family”.

Discover practical strategies to foster meaningful interactions amidst a busy homeschool life. Let’s create a more connected and harmonious homeschooling experience together!

You’ll discover many other workshops valuable for you and your homeschool family in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective.

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

The post Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

One summer, one of my daughters was moving in for a soccer goal. She’d been following a gal on the opposite team. She had the ball and the girl she’d been following wanted the ball back. The other girl stepped in for the ball and stepped directly on my daughter’s ankle. Crunch. Down my daughter fell.

(The kiddo who would normally jump right back up and declare she’ll keep playing…even as she had done when she got a wallop to the side of her face by a fastball on a mixed league baseball team.)

But on this soccer field, she couldn’t get back up, even when her teammates offered a hand.

Her dad carried her off the field, and off they went to emerg.

She was told she shouldn’t mobilize for ten weeks. This being the end of May meant swimming at our riverside home beach wouldn’t happen. And no canoeing, soccer, dance classes, or the summer theater she had signed up for.

Everything canceled.

As a homeschool mom, life keeps life-ing whether we have pneumonia, our relationship is in shambles, a parent is chronically ill, or our family income declines.

Along with the pressure to keep going, there’s often a lingering sense of isolation and self-doubt. How do we move forward while honoring our needs for healing? And how do we find (or reclaim) our purpose in the midst of this?

In my recent conversation with Trina and Emily, hosts of the Mind Your Heart Podcast, we touched on this experience. We explored the value of community, vulnerability, and forward-focused mindset work as ways to find (or reclaim) our purpose when life keeps life-ing.

You can listen to the episode by pressing play above.

Emily on Instagram.

Trina on Instagram.

For many of us, especially those who identify as self-sufficient or resilient, aka most homeschool moms, asking for help can feel incredibly difficult.

It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, and often feels like admitting defeat. But the truth is, reaching out can build community (people love to feel helpful) and enable us with the wisdom and support we need instead of going it alone.

Emily shares this when her mom was walking through divorce, “You usually know what to do. You want to get stuff done on your own. But, mom, you really released that and was like, I need help and it’s okay that I need help. And you leaned into the community that you built.”

For many homeschool moms, there’s a familiar feeling of needing to “keep on keeping on” for the kids. Naturally.

This instinct can keep us grounded and moving forward, even when it feels nearly impossible. So that’s a good thing.

The sense of purpose that comes from caring for others can fuel us, helping us push through difficult times when we might otherwise be tempted to give up. It’s an incredible motivator.

Yet, there’s often a personal cost to this drive. Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to feel the feelings. Sometimes we may believe we’ve failed our kids, that the challenges our kids face are because we failed them. That self-talk is harsh and unhelpful.

Recognizing and reframing our thoughts is how we can feel at peace. It can also compel us to redefine our role—not as someone who has failed but as someone who’s doing everything possible to create a safe, loving environment for our kids.

Life changes, such as kids growing up and leaving home, bring about deeper reflection and transitions. This transition has been bittersweet for me with each kiddo.

Undoubtedly, it’s a tricky time for homeschool moms. It sure has been for me. It’s grief and loss and excitement and pride all at the same time.

Grief and loss that I don’t get to spend every waking hour with that grown kiddo. And excitement and pride that they’re moving to their next thing, growing up, living their lives intentionally.

This change, however, is also an opportunity to lean into self-discovery. With more time and space, we can begin to nurture parts of ourselves that we may have set aside for too long.

While launching a kiddo can bring up difficult emotions, it can ultimately lead to a richer, more fulfilling sense of self.

For many, the idea of revisiting past trauma or digging into painful memories can feel overwhelming. (I certainly wasn’t keen in my early therapy years either, but I’ve learned it is clarifying and transformative).

However, sometimes, once we’ve reached a certain point, what we really need is a forward-focused approach. This is coaching.

It’s an invitation to focus on growth, goal-setting, and developing actionable steps to build the life we want moving forward.

This mindset-oriented approach is particularly appealing to those of us who have already done a lot of inner work and are ready to shift gears. Through coaching, we can explore our goals and take practical steps toward a future that feels meaningful and aligned with our true selves.

It’s a chance to live in the present, set new intentions, and move confidently toward the next steps of our life.

If you’re curious to learn more about coaching, book a no-obligation conversation with me.

Ultimately, when life is life-ing, and we’re looking to heal, reclaim our purpose, and want support to not do it alone, we can.

While it’s true that life sometimes feels isolating, cheerleading, community, and connection are available if we allow it.

For anyone feeling lost, unworthy, or unsure of what’s next, remember that you don’t need to have to shoulder it alone.

So, if you’re in the midst of a life transition, take a breath. It’s okay to pause and reflect, to practice reframing your challenge. It’s okay to reach out for support, to ask for help, and to invest in your healing and growth. You don’t have to go through it alone, and you don’t have to have all the answers.

You just have to take the next step.

Introducing Your Ultimate Wellness Guide, an ideal guidebook for homeschool moms seeking effective strategies to maintain physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. This comprehensive guide offers practical tips, actionable steps, and easy-to-follow instructions to help you prioritize self-care, manage stress, and enhance your overall homeschool experience. Get your copy now and take the first step towards a healthier and happier homeschool mom life!

• 10 Declutter Tips for Homeschool Moms with Simple by Emmy

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Finding Healing & Purpose When Life is Life-ing appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Who I was as a parent when his oldest sister was in my belly, to where I am now, when he’s the last kiddo at home, is so very different. How I wish the lessons I’ve learned through Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book, The Awakened Family, would have bathed my mothering consciousness before I began this motherhood journey. Then I would have begun homeschooling as the awakened homeschool family.

Alas, we all begin where we begin, we must learn what we must learn, and we will learn these things at just the right time, when we most need to learn the lessons.

It’ll be on my newly updated Homeschool Mama Reading List. You’ve heard me share that I wouldn’t recommend parenting gurus because I believe you need to trust your gut, trust your intuition. And that’s why I’d recommend this author. Because she helps you listen to your gut and to trust your intuition: everything you need to know about your child is staring back at you through in those blue eyes and 6’3 body with size 12 shoes.

Tsabary reframes parenting as a journey of self-awareness rather than control over the child. Instead of fixing children’s behavior, she urges parents to confront their insecurities, expectations, and past wounds, creating space for genuine connection and understanding.

Because we spend our days alongside our children, we discover numerous opportunities to build self-awareness.

Sophia shared, “I think my big issue is managing the ugly emotions I feel when my kids disappoint me and yet I have to love them unconditionally. In the moment, I don’t because those ugly feelings are just so great.”

1. When we weren’t affirmed in our early years to FEEL our feelings, we have a hard time listening to our kids’ feelings.

2. We feel disappointed by our kids because they trigger experiences/disappointments we’ve had with others long before them. Those triggers haven’t been rendered.

3. Those triggers just reveal the work we need to do now.

4. You couldn’t have done all the work before you were a parent. It is our human reality that we won’t have our big emotions and our internal challenges figured BEFORE we parent. Oh, how I wish that were so.

Sophia continued, “I am 100% in agreement, but your point #4 is not something I realized until recently. This is how it happens–not in some perfect (unrealistic) way–but in the trenches of raising our most precious people with a very incomplete set of beliefs and habits and unrealistic expectations. It’s rough but I’m growing and learning and moving along better every time I have a win. And when I don’t, I have to remember your points #1-4.”

She emphasizes the harm in projecting unfulfilled ambitions onto children, highlighting the need for parents to accept their children as they are, without needing them to conform to a pre-set ideal.

There’s often a discussion about how to address unrealistic expectations as a homeschool mom. You’ve heard it. It goes like this…

Lower them. No lower them some. Now lower them even more.

1. Journal every day so you learn what your unrealistic expectations are.

Dr. Tsabary advocates for a relationship-based approach to parenting, encouraging “being with” children rather than “doing to” them. This involves actively listening and responding to their needs in a supportive and non-judgmental way, rather than using authority to enforce behavior.

This is the reason why I don’t care for parenting books of my generation, because they trended to encouraging “doing to” children rather than “being with” approaches. And though I certainly ascribed to that parenting approach in my earlier days, I’ve learned that this parenting approach is a mirage. Every parent will, one day, discover that their children didn’t change their minds, approaches, or behaviours, because we baited them with a carrot or a stick. (Though shame will compel some kids to run underground, becoming compliant, less themselves, and more people-pleasing, but certainly other kids won’t).

Parents are encouraged to examine their upbringing to avoid repeating patterns that negatively impact their children. Recognizing and breaking these cycles can open the door to healthier, more compassionate family dynamics.

• How Nonviolent Communication Informs my Homeschool

Instead of enforcing strict rules or molding children to fit social expectations, Tsabary calls for allowing children to grow into their authentic selves, fostering independence, resilience, and confidence.

Renata messaged me, “We have a son who is a sophomore in college and who lives with us, a 17-year-old son who will be a senior in high school, an almost 15-year-old daughter who will be a high school freshman, and a 10-year-old boy who will be in the 5th grade. 

And it can be quite lonely when it seems there aren’t those around who understand or can give advice to help you navigate the changing seasons of homeschooling.  Most of my homeschooling friends stopped homeschooling in high school. I feel like we’ve exited the “golden years” of homeschooling…those sweet times of lots of smiling faces and a willingness to go along with things and a wonder about them. With our almost 15-year-old only daughter, I tend to get a good amount of resistance and she doesn’t always have the best attitude towards school work and helping out around the house. 

Asking her to do things sometimes feels like I’m asking the world of her. Some days she is amazing to be around, other days it feels quite the opposite.  She has big emotions…very much like her mother.”

I helped Renata uncover her deeper motivations and relational dynamics, empowering her with clearer boundaries, renewed motivation, and a joyful perspective as she navigated her homeschool family relationships with her teen and young adult children.

The coaching program was the impetus to help me think more deeply about my homeschool and relational ‘whys’ to get to a place to see where change needed to be made.

I now have infinitely better boundaries with our teenage daughter and I no longer feel like our relationship hangs by a thin thread. I feel much more motivated in my homeschool days and have made some major shifts that have restored the joy in our homeschool. I’m also learning to lean into the new season with older children and embrace the joy found in the present, rather than pining for the past.”

To raise secure, independent children, parents must first confront and release their limitations and insecurities.

For me, this is why I wasn’t able to begin my mothering journey confidently listening, observing, and understanding my children. Because I wasn’t confidently listening, observing, and understanding myself.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

I was just trying to do the best with what I had. But only after many iterations of living into my own freedom story, recognizing who I was and who I wasn’t, understanding how I wanted to intentionally show up for others, and what I expected of others in how they showed up for me, I couldn’t confidently listen, observe, understand my kids either.

I had to begin with me.

A reminder to be present and not to overemphasize accomplishments or outcomes, which can create pressure and lead to disconnection in parent-child relationships.

They’re not done at 18. They’ll always be growing and becoming. And so will I. This motherhood journey doesn’t end either.

This highlights the notion that children, though in our care, are individuals with their stories, and that honoring this individuality helps them flourish.

Riley shared this with me, “I think my need for perfection is rooted in not wanting to cause my children any pain, and wanting them to be supported to be their best selves. I have good intentions, “if I do everything the right way, they’ll be okay”. But it’s a never-ending, maddening experience to constantly be searching, researching and carrying out “the right way of doing things”. I end up deflated because I “couldn’t get it right”, and that it will lead to some detrimental thing for my kids. I’m sure this partly has to do with the fact that I had a lot of emotional pain as a child and no one was able to help me understand it and process it, likely due to their pain and issues.

Logically, I know there is no way to prevent pain and sadness in my children’s lives, but that drive to try anyway stems from my experience.

What I have done, that’s not perfect by any means, but I think probably what I needed, which I believe all kids need, is to give my kids my time and my presence. That eyeball time you refer to, to see and hear them and help them identify their feelings. I’m always observing the way they’re evolving and try to stick with that at the end of the day. But it’s still challenging!”

We often strive to protect our children from pain, hoping to ensure their well-being by doing everything “right,” but this approach can lead us into cycles of self-doubt and perfectionism, especially when rooted in our unresolved experiences. Riley’s journey reflects this struggle, showing that true support comes not from controlling every outcome but from being present and engaged in our children’s lives. By giving them our time and attention — that “eyeball time” where we truly see and hear them — we help them process emotions and grow into their unique selves.

As we guide and nurture our children, we are transformed by the insights and challenges we face together. This applies to our relationships with partners too. In partnership, there’s a commitment to walk alongside one another, learning through struggles and connection.

Here are some simple, intentional ways we can truly savor and connect with our kids:

1. Set aside a short daily or weekly “date” with each child to connect without distractions.

The Gift

“May you be blessed with a child . . .

Who defies you
So you learn to release control,
With one who doesn’t listen
So you learn to tune in,
With one who loves to procrastinate
So you learn the beauty of stillness,
With one who forgets things
So you learn to let go of attachments,
With one who is extra-sensitive
So you learn to be grounded,
With one who is inattentive
So you learn to be focused,
With one who dares to rebel
So you learn to think outside the box,
With one who feels afraid
So you learn to trust the universe.

May you be blessed with a child . . .
Who teaches you
that it is never about them

And all about you.”

I’ve learned that the most meaningful moments often come when we listen to what our family truly needs. When we let go of unrealistic expectations, we open up space for joy, connection, and the chance to grow alongside our kids—something I know we all truly need.

Introducing the Reimagine Your Homeschool Workbook! Reflect on the past year, assess what worked and what didn’t, and build the homeschool you truly want. Evaluate curriculum, routine, philosophy, and plan for the future. Get renewed inspiration and fresh ideas.

• Tell me more about the homeschool mama book club.

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Awakened Homeschool Family: Living with Purpose, Learning from Heart appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Today, I want to share some insights and tools to declutter your homeschool mama mind that have helped me clear the mental clutter, navigate those tough emotions, and actually enjoy this incredible journey. Here’s how I went from feeling overwhelmed to on purpose in my homeschool life, and how you can, too.

Years ago, in the early years of homeschooling, I remember feeling like I was just barely keeping my head above water. I had this beautiful vision of creating a joyful, enriching environment for my kids, but on many days, I felt like I was losing myself. Constant interruptions, unrealistic expectations, and my own emotions were always simmering beneath the surface.

One day, I had a breakthrough realization: it wasn’t just the daily challenges of homeschooling that were overwhelming me—it was my internal stories.

It was my unaddressed triggers, my need for control, and my unresolved expectations that were weighing me down.

As Dr. Shefali Tsabary says in The Awakened Family, “Our children are not ours to control; they are independent souls on their own journey.” That shift was powerful for me. My children didn’t exist to fix or fulfill me. Their behavior was simply a mirror, reflecting my own internal struggles and providing an invitation to grow and heal.

So, what does it mean to deal with our triggers?

For me, homeschooling became an opportunity to learn about myself and unpack what was underneath my reactions. Homeschooling was inviting me into a journey of self-awareness, and instead of seeing it as something to just “handle,” I saw it as a path toward growth.

Our triggers are like mental clutter—little stories or beliefs we carry about how things should be. Maybe it’s a fear of failure, a belief that our homeschool should look perfect, or a feeling that we need to prove our worth. These inner stories often show up in our homeschool, impacting our peace, our relationship with our kids, and our ability to be present.

As Shefali Tsabary also says, “If you want your children to be free, you must first be free.” Our internal work isn’t separate from our parenting; it directly affects our children’s freedom and joy. If we’re bogged down by unrealistic expectations or unexamined triggers, it affects the entire atmosphere of our homeschool life.

One tool that has been incredibly transformative for me in addressing my triggers is Byron Katie’s 4 Questions. This simple process helps you look deeper and question the beliefs that might be causing your overwhelm. Here’s how it works:

1. Is it true? – Start by asking yourself if the story you’re telling yourself is true. For example, if you’re thinking, “I’m failing as a homeschool mom,” pause and ask, “Is that actually true?”

By working through these questions, I can untangle myself from the stories that are causing me stress. I’ve even put together these questions as a free download so you can try them out yourself and see if they help you find clarity.

Of course, dealing with our thoughts is only one part of the process. Sometimes, as homeschool moms, we face big emotions—feelings of frustration, self-doubt, and even guilt. And that’s okay. Instead of pushing these feelings aside, I’ve learned that it’s necessary to face them and give them space to be understood.

I created a Big Emotions Journaling Workbook for homeschool moms who want to dive deeper into their emotional world. Journaling has been a powerful tool for me to process my emotions, recognize where they’re coming from, and work through them instead of letting them cloud my day. Giving myself permission to feel and to understand these emotions has created space for more peace, acceptance, and joy in my homeschool life.

As Tsabary reminds us, “Parenting is about letting go of control and embracing your children’s autonomy.” Allowing myself to experience my emotions without trying to control every outcome has been freeing, both for me and my children.

As a graduated homeschool mom and Certified Life Coach, I’m here to help you shed what’s not working, so you can thrive in your homeschool and life.

So here’s my encouragement for you today: the next time you feel overwhelmed or triggered, take a moment to pause and ask, What’s really going on here? Is there a story or belief you’re holding onto that’s weighing you down? Try using Byron Katie’s 4 Questions to dig a little deeper, and if you’re ready to go even further, explore your emotions through journaling.

Download the Free 4 Questions
If you’d like to use these questions as a tool for navigating those tough emotions, download them here.

Big Emotions Journaling Workbook
Ready to explore your emotional world? Get the Big Emotions Journaling Workbook for a guided journaling experience!

Our homeschooling journey is as much about our own growth as it is about our children’s learning. When we do the work to declutter your homeschool mama mind and heart, we’ll make room for more joy, connection, and freedom—not just for us, but for our kids too.

NURTURING YOU: A Digital Workbook for Homeschool Moms | Instant Download

Rediscover yourself beyond homeschooling with this 14-page guide. Packed with exercises for creativity, self-awareness, and personal growth — perfect for busy moms looking for balance and “me time.”

• How Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart Influences our Homeschools

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Declutter Your Homeschool Mama Mind: Overwhelm to On Purpose appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Can you relate? If so, you’ll love today’s episode on the decluttered homeschool with practical tips for creating purposeful lists, systems, and routines.

Our culture thrives on order and productivity tools, but I think our souls thrive on meaningful activity. So I’d rather you live on purpose, not just tackle another to-do list.

Homeschool mom routines should serve your true sense of purpose. Then choose to tackle the most important list: your to-live list.

Decluttering goes beyond organizing physical spaces.

The visible messes in our homes can be reminders of endless tasks. As homeschoolers living with family and pets (even those surprise “pets” like a goose egg under a pillow!), perfect order is not realistic.

At the end of our days, we won’t be wishing we spent a little more time vacuuming, sweeping, wiping, folding, tidying, rearranging items in our closet, storage room, junk drawer, and vehicle trunk.

With or without the homeschool life, with or without a mom life: there’ll be some clutter, disorganization, and disorder, because you’re human.

Because you own stuff, you do stuff, and you don’t want to spend your life cleaning, tidying, and decluttering.

But if you have stuff, prioritizing small steps can help boost focus and reduce stress, freeing up your mind for what really matters.

Decluttering your mind means letting go of self-judgment, unnecessary expectations, and pressures. The mental weight of endless tasks can be heavier than any pile of laundry.

An unfolded laundry basket, a counter full of dirty dishes, and an unswept floor could remind us that we haven’t done enough and aren’t enough.

So consider setting aside a few moments each day to journal, breathe, get clear on what’s going on up there, then practice releasing unhelpful mental spaces.

Our relationships can become cluttered with unspoken expectations, stress from outside opinions, or even our own critical inner voice. Practicing boundaries, releasing guilt, and focusing on genuine connections can declutter the emotional space around you.

• It’s okay if this homeschool life feels messy and imperfect. Welcome to the crowd!

• Why Decluttering Can Lead to Increased Brain Power

I understand the chaos that comes with homeschooling—the constant demands, expectations, and numerous responsibilities can make it feel like there’s never enough time to address disorder.

Creating space to think, plan, declutter, and organize can clarify a homeschool mama’s mind. In fact, house cleaning and organization can be essential parts of your Wellness Plan, serving as self-care for your mental well-being.

But how much cleaning and organizing is truly self-care, and how much is an obsession with achieving the impossible? The answer lies in this meta question: why are you here, and what do you aim to accomplish?

This profound inquiry shapes your daily life, helping you decide how much time to invest in lists, cleaning, and organization. Once you clarify your purpose, you can determine how much time you have for these tasks.

When do you want to declutter? There’s no right answer—only what feels right for you. Ultimately, you get to decide how you spend your life!

Now I’ll share some of my lists, but you only take what is useful for you, and leave the rest.

Why Lists Matter

Lists are like mini roadmaps for your day. They help you prioritize and ensure nothing crucial slips through the cracks. Plus, there’s something incredibly satisfying about crossing things off!

Each evening or morning, pick 3-5 tasks from your master list that you need to tackle the next day. Keep it realistic and focused. Learn to Time Block: only invest the amount of time you want to invest, not one minute more.

When do your kids do extracurricular activities? Do it then. Or do it on the same day of the week when the kids are at their best. Do it with just one child and tack on a special drink together at the end. Let them choose their choice of cracker, snack, or cereal when they join you.

But above all, do it alone: you’ll get it done so much more quickly. (Hire a homeschooled teen).

To not buy random things at the grocery store, use grocery apps, a fridge list, and a pantry or freezer checklist.

(So when something runs out in the pantry or freezer, write it down immediately.)

In June or July, determine to add to your Individualized Home Education Wishlist for each child. Check out the curriculum catalogs, plan to attend your favourite influencer’s booklist reveal, and ask others what their favourite readalouds are.

Add your preferences into a Goodreads list.

While you’re at it, prep for yours too. I typically do this for me in December when I’m planning my upcoming year.

I’ll create a list for my personal growth, for my coaching development, for mothering, for spiritual exploration, and for pleasure reading.

Also in June or July, you’ll want to create an IHEW (Individualized Home Education Wishlist) notebook and determine what you want to include for the upcoming year.

You can think through this via subjects if that matters to you (it helped me clarify that they really are getting a broad education).

End of each year, grab your stack of written work, drawings, activities, book stacks, list of conversation points, places you visited, volunteer opportunities, extracurriculars, and your daytimer.

Also, you can include extracurricular activities, field trips, travel trips, volunteer experiences, work or mentorship experiences, and anything else they do.

If you’re looking to intentionally build upon your personal growth in the areas of relationships, your emotional responses, deconstructing schooled mindsets, or simplifying your life, consider using any of these checklists as part of your morning routine.

These checklists help you unpack your mind by planning for your messy mind.

If you’d like to routinely engage in morning journal prompts that will help you become more self-disciplined and intentional in your life, consider using one of these journals. Or if you’re able to spend just five minutes exploring one journal prompt each morning, or before bed each night, you will iron out life wrinkles as time goes by.

If you’re a writer, consider three easy recording resources: voice-to-text in your notes, a tiny notebook for your bag, Descript, or Trello lists. Those random thoughts need a storage space; otherwise, you’ll forget them.

And if you’re a writer, join us in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective).

If something doesn’t get done, don’t stress. Move it to the next day’s list. Life is fluid, and so should your lists be.

Why Systems Matter

Systems are the backbone of your family life. They help streamline repetitive tasks, so you spend less time managing chaos and more time being present in your family life.

This is what you don’t want on your tombstone: “Carla washed all the dishes, swept the floor, and put away the Lego before she went to bed each night.”

Start the day on a positive, peaceful note. Establish a consistent routine of whatever matters to you:

• Breakfast prepped with the kids? Breakfast left on the counter for the kids?

Set aside time each week to review upcoming study intentions, gather materials, and adjust plans as needed.

Plan it if you want an idea of what you’re doing the upcoming week. Record at the end of the day.

My take: kids should have chores.

Because they get to learn how to do adult-ish things and confidently accomplish adult-ish things. They contribute to the household and learn the value of putting things away the first time, as well as how to organize their stuff, recognize its value, and keep it in good condition.

Finally, they have a ton of time: when they need to do a few things they don’t want to do, they appreciate the free time to do the things they love.

(ps I think this boredom prevention strategy also works for full-grown adults).

You can create a chore chart or use an app to assign and track chores. This seems like too much work to me. You can also assign a particular time of the week you work together, and just clean for one to two hours a week together. Or you can assign specific chores that need to be completed before Saturday at cartoon time.

My experience? It very much depended upon the child, the season, and the size of the home we lived in. The smaller the home, the more frequently we tidied. The larger the home, the more compelled I was to save up for a sweeping robot.

In our home, some chores were paid: ie building a goat barn, fixing the chicken fence, and washing and painting the verandah. And spring clean deep dives.

ps When kids learn to do chores, they’re not doing them like you. If you want them to do it like you, they need to be your age.

If your kiddo is in soccer, hockey, ballet, gymnastics, or any activities outside the home, keep a basket in the mudroom or the garage. They can drop stuff when they come in from the car, so it doesn’t get lost in their toys or bedroom. They always know where it is before they leave (well, most of the time anyway, let’s be real here).

Grocery list, pantries, and freezers (when it runs out, add more to your list).

Make a menu plan. 7 meals. On repeat until you’re bored of those meals. I’ve got ideas here.

Breakfast simple: easy to access. Pre-prep trays of vegetables and hummus, containers of pre-washed fruit, protein, and carbs.

When you leave an office, preplan for your next visit. Book that appointment or put it in your calendar.

In my part of the world, this is a necessary discussion. If you’re from California, fast forward to the next section.

• Note the seasonal shifts of your calendar– and know that this is when you’ll have a pre-season shift, have a fashion show. Ask: “Do you even wear this? Do you like wearing this?”

Keep it simple.

Systems should evolve with your family’s needs. If something isn’t working, tweak it, but know that systems are there to serve you, you’re not there to serve your system.

Why Routines Matter

Routines bring a comforting rhythm to your days. They provide structure, so your kids know what to expect, and you can include the activities that matter the most for you.

Start with a consistent wake-up time and a sequence of activities (breakfast, getting dressed, morning chores, etc.). A predictable start helps everyone ease into the day.

Break your day into learning blocks with breaks in between. For example, have a 9-11 AM block for focused lessons, a break for a snack and play, and then another learning block before lunch.

ps this is only a suggestion. Do what works for you.

Use the afternoons for more flexible activities like art, science experiments, or field trips. This is also a good time for independent reading or outdoor play.

Enjoy a quiet afternoon reading time together. Assume everyone is heading outdoors after that quiet time.

Wind down with dinner, family game time, and a calming bedtime routine.

Create a check-out time…where you’re no longer available, a partner puts the kids to bed, and you take a consistent evening or two away every week.

If a routine gets interrupted, know that life happens. Kids get sick, unexpected visitors show up, or the washing machine decides today is the perfect day to break down.

Our systems have to be flexible and when we allow them to be, we become more comfortable with imperfection. Pick up where you left off or adjust as needed. If an activity is truly important, it’ll get done. If it’s not, you’ll learn to put it in its place, or let it go. Leaning into flexibility will help you feel sane when life doesn’t go as planned.

Despite our best planning, life has a way of throwing curveballs. Here are a few tips to keep your cool:

Buffer Time aka Margins: Include margins in your routine. So when unexpected construction happens, you aren’t late. When a child resists buckling into their seatbelt, you’re not growing anxious.

Emergency Activities: Have a stash of easy, engaging activities (puzzles, educational videos, simple crafts) for those days when you need to attend to something unexpected. Learn to deal with stressful moments.

Grace: Give yourself grace. When you do get anxious and impatient, know that you’re among the masses. We all have those moments. Everyone. Stop, turn to yourself, put your hand on your heart, notice your breath, breathe slowly, and tell yourself you are okay, and your kids are okay, life is unexpected at times, it doesn’t roll as we’d like, but we will make it through.

Some days will be tough, and that’s okay. Remember that tomorrow is a new day.

Remember, homeschool mama, what really matters. “She finished the list” or “she kept an immaculate home” isn’t what you hope to see on your gravestone anyway.

In the end, it’s about living with intention and clarity. So, take small, meaningful steps to declutter your space, your mind, and your relationships, so that your homeschool life serves your purpose, not the other way around.

Be here now. Lean into living your To-Live list, not your To-Do List.

What do you think? If you incorporate one of these decluttered homeschool tasks, share their experiences with you, find me on the socials.

Introducing Your Ultimate Wellness Guide, an ideal guidebook for homeschool moms seeking effective strategies to maintain physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. This comprehensive guide offers practical tips, actionable steps, and easy-to-follow instructions to help you prioritize self-care, manage stress, and enhance your overall homeschool experience. Get your copy now and take the first step towards a healthier and happier homeschool mom life!

• How to manage unrealistic expectations in our homeschool

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

The post Why you Don’t Need a Perfectly Decluttered Homeschool: (and How a Little Decluttering Can Bring Big Calm) appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Join us as we share the essential lessons from two experienced moms discussing the heart of homeschooling.

“I want moms to look back someday and see those years and say they were totally worth it.”

At the heart of a successful homeschool experience is clarity on your core values. What truly matters to your family? What lessons and experiences do you want to prioritize for your kids?

• Reflect on your core values.

This helps you cut through the noise of external expectations and focus on creating a homeschool that reflects your unique vision.

Practical tip: Create a family vision statement that includes the values most important to you and your children. This can act as your compass when making decisions about curriculum, activities, or even how to spend your day.

Homeschooling can sometimes feel isolating, especially if you’re doing it alone. A support network is necessary—not just for your children, but for you too. Whether it’s joining a local co-op or participating in an online community like the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective, being part of a group that understands your unique challenges provides encouragement, accountability, and new ideas.

Practical tip: Schedule regular check-ins with other homeschool moms to discuss what’s working, what’s not, and offer each other support. Make time for a weekly “homeschool mom room” or book club to keep your connections consistent.

Self-care isn’t an option. It’s a requirement.

One of the most common mistakes homeschool moms make is neglecting themselves.

Not a week goes by when I haven’t heard a mom confess that she really doesn’t think about what she needs AND she’s so done with it all!

Incorporate self-care practices into your homeschool day. These can be as simple as taking a 10-minute mindfulness break, going for a short walk, or even journaling for clarity at the beginning or end of the day. A wellness challenge is a great way to build self-care into your routine, giving you daily opportunities to reflect, exercise, and nurture your sense of self.

Practical tip: Start your day with a simple wellness routine that includes a morning routine, midday practice, and evening reflection. Focus on reducing stress, gaining clarity, and maintaining your energy throughout the day.

One of the joys of homeschooling is the ability to customize an education to your child’s needs, interests, and learning approach. Lean into child-inspired learning by allowing your child’s interests to lead the way, and discover a dynamic homeschool.

Practical tip: Regularly check in with your children about what interests them. How can you integrate those interests into their lessons? This not only keeps learning engaging but makes homeschooling a whole lot easier and fosters a deeper connection with each child too.

Too often homeschool moms carry unrealistic expectations about what they should achieve. Whether it’s having a clean house or hitting identical learning milestones as the neighbour kids, these pressures can make us feel bad about ourselves.

But who can achieve these things without a housekeeper, a nanny and a cook?

And spoiler alert, very few homeschool families have those.

We need to reimagine what success looks like for our specific family by letting go of what we “should” be doing and accepting or reality of an imperfectly perfect homeschool family life.

Practical tip: Perform a time audit. Where are you spending time that doesn’t align with your values? What can be dropped or adjusted? Leave room in your schedule for solitude and margins.

Establishing clear boundaries is essential for mental health and satisfying relationships. Whether it’s with extended family members, your partner, or even your children, setting boundaries helps maintain a healthy dynamic where everyone’s needs are respected.

An example: setting a predictable homeschool routine while building in breaks for yourself ensures that you’re not overextending your energy. Additionally, creating boundaries around external opinions can protect you from feeling overwhelmed by criticism or unsolicited advice.

Practical tip: Write down areas where you feel overwhelmed or stretched too thin. What boundaries can you set to protect your peace and well-being? It might involve communicating your needs to family members which could make for an uncomfortable conversation, but you need to do it.

“Sometimes, in some years, we need to just put our head down and be like, I’ve got to put blinders on and I just got to do the work.”

Finally, embrace the mindset that homeschooling is an evolving journey. Perfection isn’t the goal—growth is. Mistakes, challenges, and changes are all part of being a homeschool mom (also being a human). By adopting a growth mindset, you allow yourself and your children the grace to learn, adapt, and flourish in your own time.

Practical tip: Incorporate regular reflection sessions into your homeschool routine. What went well this week? What was challenging? How can you adjust? This practice not only builds resilience but also helps you celebrate the small wins.

At the core of homeschooling is the desire to build a deep, authentic connection with your children while guiding them to the next steps in their life.

No question: life will invite you to honor your growth and well-being along the way too.

Ready to Go Deeper? If you’re ready to transform your homeschool journey, join me for the upcoming free webinar: Reclaim your Homeschool Joy–From Overwhelmed to On Purpose.

• Listen to the Little by Little Homeschool podcast here.

This can be a self-coaching workbook can be a self-coaching tool to help you discover the barriers getting in the way of your satisfying homeschool life, create a plan to address your relationships, needs & homeschools, and thereby, shift your homeschool experience.

• How to Tame the Homeschool Stress Dragon with 23 Strategies

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post The Heart Of Homeschooling: Essential Lessons From Two Experienced Moms appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Today, I want to share the voices that have inspired, challenged, and guided my path of homeschool mom life intentionally. Here is a Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Intentional Living…

Books are incredible influencers. They offer fresh ideas, shift perspectives, and help us grow into the women we want to be, both inside and outside of our homeschool journey.  

I’m also excited to share that it’s nearly my 5th bookaversary! I’ve been asked, what will I do with this book? Will I rerelease? More on that later…

Turns out, I wrote a second homeschool book not long after that first book. It’s on self-directed education, and I’m sharing tidbits in the private podcast in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective if you’d like to listen to that.

This is why I wrote Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer…

“The determined homeschool mama hunkers down to her routine despite exhaustion or aggravation. A new homeschool mama begins homeschooling with fervor, then quickly realizes she’s consumed &  spent. Homeschool mamas grapple with overwhelm, doubt, perfectionism, loneliness, anger, boredom, and impatience. Basic self-nurturing is easily overlooked with a steady stream of childhood needs. You’ll find straight talk about self-nurturing practices that address real homeschool mama’s needs.”

It’s humbling to know that this book has made an impact on so many homeschool moms.

These last five years have been a time of developing thoughts on the key topics I cover in the book—everything from self-care & personal growth, emotional regulation and self-compassion, setting boundaries & cultivating relationships, deschooling and leaning into child-inspired learning, and cultivating deep satisfaction & purpose in (& beyond) the homeschool life.

I’ve expanded on these ideas through courses and even group coaching programs, helping moms live with intention in both their homeschool and personal lives.

“It was like going on a retreat in the comfort of my home! I loved the way you phrased so well what I have been feeling as a HS Mom, such as “homeschool is messy,” and “homeschool burnout is not selective.” You really make me feel understood and validated. I felt like you sympathize with our plight and cheer us on (Go HS Moms, get the laundry, have the kids do the dishes, Go team!) You even seem to understand my love of dark chocolate, and lack of shower days (you don’t have spy cameras over here,
I hope).”

If you want some good ole fashioned mom to mom encouragement, join me for the last section of the book, the Coffee Chats with me, for 1st-year homeschool mamas, for established homeschool mamas, for moms of many kids, for the tired homeschool mama, and for the unexpected homeschool mama.

“I found myself completely, utterly, depleted as I had returned from my first mental health unit stay and was surrounded by 7 children, 4-17 who needed me. I realized how I desperately needed to care for myself as well as I care for my children. And I didn’t know where they began and I ended. Suffice to say, I had virtually no boundaries and had a very idealized version in my head of what my homeschool SHOULD look like. When I was offered your book I jumped at it. First, you’re HILARIOUS! You cover so much from looking into the “Whys” of homeschooling, managing our emotions, and caring for our body, minds, but also to be mindful of things we might otherwise not notice. You offer a plethora of idea for having fun; alone and with kids alike. Overall, I just think this book is fantastic and I think that any homeschool mom could benefit.”

Turns out, I have learned there is no new hard story under the sun. You are not alone!

“Initially when I discovered Teresa, I fell in love with her calm and clear message to mamas; like listening to one of your favourite homeschool buddies. Although not sure if we needed another homeschool self-help book on our shelves; however, I read rave reviews and so decided to give it a go. Once it arrived, I found myself ditching ‘class’ for just one more chapter. Nurturing the Nurturer is now in the Top 3 of books that I will read regularly and recommend for encouragement, support and gentle reminders of what life is truly like as a homeschooling mama and what it means to take care of yourself in the whirlwind that is educating your own. Beautifully written and touches on so many relevant topics. Clearly, we’re not alone on this journey.”

“Clearly, Teresa writes from years of valuable experience, and so generously shares them with new homeschool momma for their benefit. If you’re trying to figure out how to get started taking the stress out of your homeschool day, the section where she shares her own story of overwhelm is pure gold! You’ll find solid, experience-tested examples from her own life on creating an environment that is conducive to real education. Also, take note of the authors she recommends as her influencers. If you have to pick a section to start somewhere, there it is!”

Living an intentional life doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated. As homeschool moms, we need to be aware of our influences, from the books we read to the people we spend time with. Here’s a guide to help you live more intentionally:

1. Prioritize Self-Care: You’re not just a homeschool mom—you’re a whole person with emotional and physical needs. Don’t neglect them.

2. Move Your Body: Whether it’s yoga, stretching, or even dancing in the kitchen with your kids, movement is essential for your body and your mind.

3. Learn Alongside Your Kids: You have a seat at the homeschool table too. Incorporate subjects you love into your homeschool.

4. Nourish Your Brain: Along with nutritious meals, consider supplements that support cognitive health. What you feed your body fuels your mind.

5. Create Quiet Time: Carve out moments of quiet for yourself. Even in the busyness, a few minutes of quiet can reset your day. A mindfulness moment at 11 am most days!

6. Foster Friendships: Build a support network of fellow homeschool parents. These relationships can offer you both practical advice and emotional encouragement.

7. Rediscover Yourself: Beyond your role as a mom, who are you? Explore those parts of yourself you may have forgotten.

8. Set Relationship Goals: Nurture your relationships with intention—whether it’s with your partner, your friends, or your family. Relationships ground you.

9. Show Up on Purpose: Reflect on how you’re engaging with your emotions and time. Are you reacting to life or responding with purpose?

10. Lean into Your Uniqueness: Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to homeschooling or motherhood. Celebrate what makes you and your family unique.

Why Join the Homeschool Mama Book Club?

In the Homeschool Mama Book Club, we discuss some of our favorite authors to discover how their insights can shape our homeschools and empower us to show up more intentionally in our lives.

These discussions are more than just books; they’re about applying lessons and growing as women and home educators.

Don’t worry if you haven’t read the book—I’ll read it for you!

Our discussions are designed to be enriching and insightful, so you’ll leave feeling inspired, even if you haven’t flipped through a single page. But, if you can read along, you’ll love the exploration.

As homeschool moms, we know that what we allow ourselves to think directly impacts how we feel, act, and engage in our daily lives. The greatest influencer of our thoughts is you.

• Get the Homeschool Mama Personal Growth Reading List here

• The Charge: Activating 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive by Brendon Burchard

This upcoming Book Club season, we will discuss…

• Shefali Tsabury, the Awakened Family

Doing the internal work, choosing to grow ourselves up, and incorporating personal growth practices leads to more harmony and more authentic connection in our homes.

One delightful trend I’ve noticed among homeschool moms is their desire to write children’s books. It’s such a joy to see moms channeling their creativity into stories for kids, often inspired by their own children’s learning journeys.

Now I am not a children’s publisher, nor will I venture in that direction, but I will be a firm supporter of your curiosities and interests. If you’re eager to develop your writing voice, or you have another writing direction you’d like to explore, you’re welcome to join me in the Writer’s Room in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective.

I want to leave you with this thought as we just finished Canadian Thanksgiving & many of you are about to move into American Thanksgiving: I am grateful for you.

Know that I’m here, supporting you in this journey. I raise my mug of pumpkin-spiced latte to you: here’s to living your homeschool mom life with intention!

How do you plan to show up more intentionally in your homeschool journey? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Introducing Your Ultimate Wellness Guide, an ideal guidebook for homeschool moms seeking effective strategies to maintain physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. This comprehensive guide offers practical tips, actionable steps, and easy-to-follow instructions to help you prioritize self-care, manage stress, and enhance your overall homeschool experience. Get your copy now and take the first step towards a healthier and happier homeschool mom life!

• A Proactive Guide for Planning Your Homeschool in the New Year

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

The post The Helpful Homeschool Mom’s Guide To Intentional Living appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

She is passionate about her children’s education and well-being. However, she came to me because she wanted to feel balance as a homeschool mom.

Grace described herself as being fairly aware of her emotional triggers, especially related to her kid’s behaviors.

• She prioritizes self-care as essential, not just a nice concept portrayed on Instagram; however, since she has school-aged kids and preschool-aged children, there just isn’t an easily predictable time to do anything for herself.

• She knows she doesn’t have a lot of time to do things outside her homeschool family, but she wants to create some space to do creative things that fuel her, which may even become something she does long after her full-time mothering days.

• Tell me more about you and your homeschool family.

Her magic wand wish.

Grace’s answer gave us so much insight. She wanted balance as a homeschool mom. She wanted to engage meaningfully with her daughter, without feeling mistreated or constantly compromising. And she wanted to carve out space for her own hobbies and dreams, while still being the present mom her children needed.

She told me about a relational dynamic she wants to change. Grace sometimes feels mistreated by her daughter as her daughter gets angry when she doesn’t get what she wants, she is high energy and requires a lot from Grace, and yet, Grace can’t always accommodate just one of her kids–cause she’s got four.

Grace recognizes that she is slow to anger, works very hard to listen to her daughter, and her needs and preferences, but finds that she occasionally gets angry with her daughter. She’s mortified sharing that with me, as Grace was accustomed to pushing her feelings down.

Yet, she doesn’t know what to do because she feels compelled to make her daughter happy, so rather than help her daughter explore her feelings, and teach her how to share her needs and requests, Grace tries extra hard to prevent her kiddo from getting angry at all costs–which, she assures me has been a lot of effort.

She defaulted to doing what her parents asked of her, and she still does that with her husband, and she is now not doing it with her daughter too.

Her physical health reflects her struggles–she’s got various aches and pains now and that came out of nowhere. And try as she might, she couldn’t get out of bed without a kiddo trailing right behind her asking if she could play with him before she made it to the kitchen for a solitary cup of coffee.

If she could find time to do something other than kids and homeschooling, she wanted to include her interests into her routine, because she remembered how energized and creative she felt participating in certain activities before her kids were in her world.

I asked her what her long-term goals were beyond her homeschool mom years. We discussed how she could begin to take small steps towards those goals now, even if it was just an hour a week but first, we had to figure out how to get rid of the activities that weren’t as relevant to her life.

We worked together to make that happen. I became her gentle accountability partner, her cheerleader, her clarifier, and also her challenger. She put the strategies into place, experimented with those strategies, learned why they sometimes didn’t, then tried again–then she connected with me for another coaching conversation.

This is where the work of enabling balance as a homeschool mom began. We started by creating an A.C.T.I.O.N. plan to help her move from where she was to where she wanted to be. Let me walk you through it:

First, we assessed her current situation.

• What were the biggest pain points?

She realized that her discomfort with asserting herself had deep roots — going back to her childhood and continuing into her marriage.

Next, we worked on gaining clarity.

Grace needed to get clear on what she truly wanted, both for her homeschool kids and for herself. This wasn’t just about making her daughter happy; it was about the whole family. I helped her identify small, realistic steps that would help her feel more empowered.

Together, we identified tools and resources.

We talked about creating routines that allowed her daughter more independence while also establishing boundaries. Grace realized that it wasn’t her job to “fix” every bad mood or unmet need her daughter had. Instead, she could teach her daughter how to communicate her needs more effectively — a skill that would serve them both in the long run.

Grace started to implement small changes, like setting aside just an hour a week for something she loved — even if it was just reading a book or taking a walk.

At first, this felt impossible, but by creating boundaries and delegating some responsibilities to her kids or husband, she started making space for herself again.

I became her accountability partner, her sounding board, and her cheerleader. We checked in regularly, tweaking strategies when they didn’t work and celebrating small wins.

As Grace experimented with new habits, she found what worked and what didn’t. We adjusted her plan, adding more activities that brought her greater satisfaction and finding ways to delegate more of the household tasks. She learned how to advocate for her needs in her family and homeschool life, which was a huge shift.

One of the most important parts of this process was nurturing. Grace needed support to stick with the changes, and we worked together to ensure she had the encouragement and accountability to keep going, even in the tough weeks.

By the end of our sessions, Grace was no longer the overwhelmed, guilt-ridden mom who felt like she had to sacrifice herself for her family’s happiness. She had found a feeling of balance as a homeschool mom, learned to assert herself kindly but firmly, and had begun to carve out time for the things she loved. Her relationships improved because she wasn’t operating from a place of resentment anymore.

Grace took proactive steps towards creating a fulfilling and balanced life. She determined to face her challenges head-on and acknowledge that it was time for change.

If Grace’s story resonates with you, I want you to know that you’re not alone. You can reclaim your sense of self while being the mom your children need. You can set boundaries, make time for yourself, and create the homeschool life that works for your family.

Book a no-obligation conversation with me, and let’s see how we can create your very own A.C.T.I.O.N. plan.

Introducing the Reimagine Your Homeschool Workbook! Reflect on the past year, assess what worked and what didn’t, and build the homeschool you truly want. Evaluate curriculum, routine, philosophy, and plan for the future. Get renewed inspiration and fresh ideas.

• Why I Homeschool, Unexpected Challenges & My Transformation

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

The post Need Change in Life? Discover Balance as a Homeschool Mom appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Here’s what I’ve learned about the realities of homeschool, what I’ve learned about myself, and what I’ve learned about my homeschool kiddos in my time away.

“Four cranky. 2 pouty. 3 sweet but pushing boundaries++ 1 really trying. See ya tonight.” (Short and sweet report, as is typical of my husband).

Somewhere along the line, we thought coding their identity with their number placement in the family kept their privacy. It did until it didn’t. At their age of this particular writer’s conference weekend away, we couldn’t spell their names out loud or even say them in French–because the kids learned their names in French too. So, the number thing worked.

And if my husband so chose to go off-script he would improvise on a dime and the kids loved it anyway.

Spontaneous conversation about the history surrounding the theatre production of Hamilton? Check.

Delete math studies so they could play a game of math dice and statistics? Check.

Someone said they didn’t know how many countries started with the letter Q? Gotta rectify that. By the way, trick question, there’s only 1 country that begins with Q.

The kids don’t understand what “first past the post” means in our parliamentary government? Gotta chat about that.

But ALL day?

Somewhere during that afternoon away, my daughter messages on her iPod: “Dad’s really not letting Rachel and Zach get away with anything anymore”.

“Oh, you think he used to?” I giggled. He’s got his own relationship with his kids. He’ll do things his way, because he’s a separate person. These words may have been spoken to myself like a mantra in our early parenting days as I came to understand that I wasn’t the only parent creating a unique relationship with my kids.

Besides that I learned I liked sleeping in a bed where no one woke me up at night and that I liked ordering food, instead of making it, and not having to wash the dishes either, I learned a few other lessons that weekend too.

Some homeschool critics have suggested they wouldn’t want to be with their kids as often as I have been. That would be too hard.

And they are not wrong, some days.

When you’ve home-educated long enough, you know that you do indeed get to be with them more than you need to some days. The kids would say the same at times too fyi.

Perhaps the one thing schooled parents are benefited by: separation. (Not coincidentally, this very same thing we know benefits our kids, because, ya know, “connection, attachment, and healthy socialization via our homes”.

Consider this: the first time schooled parents see their kids each afternoon is a moment of anticipation: Oh HI! Tell me about your day?

That question would be a little odd if you walked to and from the mailbox each afternoon, opened your front door, and yelled, “Kids, I’m home! How was your day?”

And they’d yell back: What are you talking about? You know. You were here.

Space fosters appreciation. Taking breaks from being with your kids constantly can help you (and them) appreciate each other more. Sometimes, a little distance goes a long way in refreshing the family dynamic.

Read more: How you might be able to get quiet and find time away.

I’m nearly 24 years into parenting, and yet, just twelve years into parenting had already long learned that I need to have my own identity, outside of my role as mother.

Though I love love love the mother role, and have been honoured to have my sweet lil things in my arms when they couldn’t walk, hand in hand when they did, and in the seat beside me as THEY drive themselves to their jobs.

Yet, I am separate from them too.

You need an identity beyond “mom.” It’s vital to nurture something that’s just yours—whether it’s a hobby, passion, or career. It reminds you that you are a separate person. When you do, it replenishes your energy and allows you to show up as a more fulfilled and patient parent. Ask me how I know. ps pre-mothering I wouldn’t have believed this if I hadn’t lived it.

Read more: Developing you Beyond the Homeschool Mama Role

In our western culture, we’re taught what’s valuable…

• producing faster than the speed of light is VALUABLE,

Being a homeschool mama and influencing the culture by teaching other humans how to be kind, compassionate, connecting, intelligent, conscientious, engaged humans is awfully meaningful–whether anyone tells you that or not.

ps I’m telling you that now.

Loving those that you care for and infusing them with interpersonal skills and affirming their value and worth is VALUABLE. Helping children lead meaningful lives on purpose: check check check, your role on this earth is remarkably valuable.

Your role is more valuable than society might suggest. Being a homeschool mom is more than just managing a household and enacting studies routine. You’re shaping the next generation, which is priceless.

Read more: Learn not to care what other people think, homeschool mom

As a writer, I get a LOT written and a LOT researched when the kids aren’t in earshot.

Obviously…

Their sweet little voices compel us to listen, to pay attention, to notice even when we’re trying to do anything else — we become the queen of multitaskers, though I don’t recommend practicing it intentionally, you’ll likely become very good at it with a whole lot of training.

That’s why when they leave for an outing with auntie, you feel like you can get so much done so much more quickly.

You can achieve more with uninterrupted time. While homeschool days are busy, time away can remind you how productive you can be when given the space. There’s a lot going on around you. It’s a wee bit distracting. Prioritize finding quiet moments, whether it’s afternoon quiet times, early morning routines, or time away at the library.

Read more: 7 ways to find quiet & build boundaries in your homeschool

Coffee shops are overrated for writers: there’s great cappuccinos, free WiFi, and a fun coffeehouse playlist, but unless I’m planning a new character for my fiction novel (which I was writing in my earlier homeschool days) or learning natural dialogue (aka listening to other’s conversations and recording them)…a quiet library stall is the ideal place for thinking and writing.

Quiet spaces can spark creativity. If you’re struggling to focus at home, consider finding a calm place like a library or a cozy cafe to gather your thoughts. Silence is often the best backdrop for creativity.

Read more: How to Encourage Homeschool Mama Creativity

We can’t do everything for everyone.

However, treating our littles with gentle kindness and gazing into their eyes as they tell their stories is as important for us as it is for the mama who spends 40 hours away from them.

It also increases the likelihood that your kiddos will spend more time happily playing if they get connection time with you: aka eyeball to eyeball time.

ps I offer a workshop on how to incorporate realistic eyeball-to-eyeball time as a homeschool mom in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective.

It’s useful to get away. Get perspective. Learn a few things that living on this globe of busyness and noise sometimes distracts us from hearing.

We need to make it a habit to regularly take time to tune into ourselves. Also, we need to build time away from the kiddos to reassess our homeschool life too: because we want to show up intentionally in our typical days, we want our educational and personal values to align with our real activities, we want to clarify whether we’re being realistic and to recharge, relax, and get clear on what we want for ourselves (as well as your kids).

Be gentle with yourself and your kids. The homeschool lifestyle can be challenging, and it’s easy to justify impatience when overwhelmed. But continue to be kind to yourself and learn yourself—and offer your kids the same kindness—ps this gentle energy can significantly shift the atmosphere in your home.

Introducing Your Ultimate Wellness Guide, an ideal guidebook for homeschool moms seeking effective strategies to maintain physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. This comprehensive guide offers practical tips, actionable steps, and easy-to-follow instructions to help you prioritize self-care, manage stress, and enhance your overall homeschool experience. Get your copy now and take the first step towards a healthier and happier homeschool mom life!

I wouldn’t turn back to change that choice for a second.

Though I would change the content of some of my days…my reactivity toward that frustration or overwhelm, I would have built in self-awareness practices and a gentle accountability partner, I would have begun a quest to know myself, my needs, my curiosities much earlier, and I would have leaned into customizing an education toward each of them them a whole lot faster; however, I am privileged and thankful that I learned what I learned when I needed to learn it, that I was willing to listen and learn, and that I had the privilege to home educate my children.

Homeschooling, despite its challenges, is deeply charmed. No matter how tough some days feel, remind yourself that homeschooling is a choice rooted in love. The frustrations are part of your story, but the rewards are worth every hard moment.

Time away not only recharges us but also helps see how rewarding this homeschool journey really is. Challenges and all, there’s no journey we’d rather be on.

I’d like to hear from you: what have you learned about the realities of homeschool, about yourself and your children as you’ve spent time away?

Introducing the Homeschool Mama Retreat: an oasis for overwhelmed homeschool moms longing for clarity, confidence, and rejuvenation. Designed for those seeking to break free from doubt, perfectionism, and monotony, this retreat offers a transformative experience to refresh, renew, and reimagine your homeschool mom life.

Join me on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we:

Release Your (Unhelpful) Homeschool Mindsets: Overcome doubts, redefine your purpose, and gain confidence as a homeschooler.

Renew Your Homeschool (& Life) Vision: Craft a vision that aligns with your values and aspirations, breathing new life into your homeschooling journey.

Recognize (& Plan For) Your Big Emotions: Tackle common challenges like overwhelm and perfectionism with practical strategies and support.

Reimagine How You Want to Show Up in Your Homeschool (& Life): Rediscover yourself beyond your homeschool identity and prioritize your well-being.

Renovate Your Self-Care Strategies: Develop nurturing routines, prioritize your health, and cultivate mindfulness for a balanced life.

Celebrate Your Ordinary Miracles: Embrace your journey with gratitude and find inspiration in the everyday moments of motherhood.

Join the ranks of empowered homeschool moms who have found solace, support, and renewed purpose in our retreat:

“An oasis for overwhelmed moms…a transformative experience!” – Cheryl, Homeschool Mama of 4

“Refreshed, renewed, and ready to tackle homeschooling with confidence!” – Carla, Unschool Mama of 1

“Rediscover the joy and purpose in your homeschool journey!” – Britt, Homeschool Mama of 3

Ready to reclaim your joy, purpose, and sanity in your homeschool mom life? Begin your retreat journey today.

• How to Handle Homeschool Overwhelm

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

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The post 7 Remarkable Lessons from a Weekend Away: Homeschool Realities appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

“A lot of the work in homeschooling is working on ourselves as parents. ”

Angela and I both agree that we need to spend our time rethinking homeschooling. Homeschooling isn’t about following a strict curriculum or adhering to a method.

It’s about focusing on the unique needs of your child.

Too often, we might get caught up in wondering, “Am I doing this right?” But the truth is, it’s less about doing homeschooling “right” and more about creating an environment where your child feels supported and able to grow into who they are meant to be.

As children reach the age of individuation—where they start carving out their own identities—it’s necessary for us as parents to honour their need for independence.

Homeschooling offers a beautiful opportunity to nurture this without stifling their curiosity. In our chat, Angela and I shared how we both strive to help our kids grow into thoughtful, independent thinkers who don’t follow us—or anyone else—blindly. (And I also acknowledge that I have found this challenging!)

Here’s something that might make you pause: Have you ever considered how much we value compliance in our homeschooling?

We might even point to our most compliant child as the “success” story. But is that really success? Shouldn’t success mean raising kids who are confident enough to take risks, even when it means not doing what’s expected? Our conversation touched on creating a home where it’s okay to question, to think differently, and to take paths that might look unconventional.

If you’re a new homeschooler, feeling the weight of imposter syndrome—welcome to the club! We’ve all been there. But here’s the reality: You know your child better than anyone. Angela and I encourage all new homeschool families to trust themselves, reach out for support when needed, and avoid the comparison trap.

Homeschooling asks us to be comfortable with doing things outside the norm. It’s not easy at first, but once you lean into it, you’ll find the freedom to shape your homeschool around your family’s values and rhythms.

Writing her book gave Angela the opportunity to solidify her ideas, which felt like a huge accomplishment. She also spoke about her shift in identity—from being a teacher to a homeschooler, and now navigating life as her kids are growing and becoming more independent.

In this interview, I also shared how I’ve grown to stop defending my choice to homeschool. I’ve realized that homeschooling isn’t a badge to wear or something to defend—if you want to homeschool, I’m here to support you. If not, that’s okay too.

In the Homeschool Mama Book Club, we delved into Thinking Differently About Learning by Angela and Maren. The book sparked valuable conversations, particularly relevant to both new and experienced homeschool moms.

Key discussions included:

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in Homeschooling: We explored how this framework can be applied to support the emotional and educational needs of the homeschool family.

Deepak Chopra’s Approach to Learning: We reflected on his perspective of prioritizing children’s passions, like tennis, over traditional academic struggles, such as math. This sparked a rich conversation on fostering children’s interests rather than forcing specific academic goals.

Responding vs. Reacting: We discussed how building self-awareness helps moms respond thoughtfully, especially in emotionally charged homeschool moments. This tied into conversations around emotional dysregulation and supporting both mom and children’s emotional needs.

Recognizing Children as Individuals: We emphasized the importance of viewing children as unique individuals with their own experiences and developmental paths.

“Vibe Check” Concept: Angela and Maren’s idea of regularly assessing the emotional atmosphere in the homeschool—checking if the environment is joyful or tense—resonated deeply. This intentional reflection helps maintain a positive learning space for both moms and kids.

Mental Health and Neurodiversity: We touched on the importance of self-care, mental health, and accommodating neurodiversity in homeschooling, as well as the challenges of transitioning into school or homeschool high school.

Failure and Success in Homeschooling: A powerful takeaway was that we can’t fail our children as long as we’re committed to learning about them, ourselves, and emotional regulation. By setting clear relational boundaries, we ensure success in our homeschooling journey.

• Learn more about Angela & Maren here.

Introducing the Homeschool Mama Retreat: an oasis for overwhelmed homeschool moms longing for clarity, confidence, and rejuvenation. Designed for those seeking to break free from doubt, perfectionism, and monotony, this retreat offers a transformative experience to refresh, renew, and reimagine your homeschool mom life.

Join me on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we:

Release Your (Unhelpful) Homeschool Mindsets: Overcome doubts, redefine your purpose, and gain confidence as a homeschooler.

Renew Your Homeschool (& Life) Vision: Craft a vision that aligns with your values and aspirations, breathing new life into your homeschooling journey.

Recognize (& Plan For) Your Big Emotions: Tackle common challenges like overwhelm and perfectionism with practical strategies and support.

Reimagine How You Want to Show Up in Your Homeschool (& Life): Rediscover yourself beyond your homeschool identity and prioritize your well-being.

Renovate Your Self-Care Strategies: Develop nurturing routines, prioritize your health, and cultivate mindfulness for a balanced life.

Celebrate Your Ordinary Miracles: Embrace your journey with gratitude and find inspiration in the everyday moments of motherhood.

Join the ranks of empowered homeschool moms who have found solace, support, and renewed purpose in our retreat:

“An oasis for overwhelmed moms…a transformative experience!” – Cheryl, Homeschool Mama of 4

“Refreshed, renewed, and ready to tackle homeschooling with confidence!” – Carla, Unschool Mama of 1

“Rediscover the joy and purpose in your homeschool journey!” – Britt, Homeschool Mama of 3

Ready to reclaim your joy, purpose, and sanity in your homeschool mom life? Begin your retreat journey today.

• 7 Easy Ways to Incorporate Writing into Your Homeschool Mom Life

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

• Foster Strong Relationships in Your Homeschool Family

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Rethinking Homeschooling: It’s About the Child, Not the Method appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.