If you’re even a casual listener, you probably already know the drill: giant killer animal on the loose? It’s a Matt pick. For our first host-chosen movie of the year, we’re lazy rivering down the Amazon with a psychotic Jon Voight doing the worst damn accent you’ve ever heard. It’s ANACONDA (1997) time, baby! There’s also JLo, Ice Cube and Eric Stoltz, but this is really about the love between a crazy white guy and a very hungry 40 foot snake. Don’t yuck his yum, he’s just a dirty old weirdo who wants to get eaten.

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Our annual Black Friday poll was as unhinged as usual, with the clear winner being 1994’s THE MASK. It’s always shocking to remember that this was Jim Carrey’s breakout role and Cameron Diaz’s first acting role. These factoids are mainly drowned out by the unforgettable swing revival soundtrack (wall to wall bangers, btw) and the dozens and dozens of quotes we all beat to death in junior high after watching this. Don’t worry, though, we actually go the entire episode not doing any Stanley Ipkiss impressions. Is this personal growth? We’d like to think so!

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Merry Killsmas from another white guy who took his job at a toy factory way too seriously and decided he would be the one to punish every scrooge he runs into. CHRISTMAS EVIL (1980) isn’t just another Santa rampage movie, it was the second feature-length slasher featuring Big Red, coming out 11 months after TO ALL A GOODNIGHT (1980). The trope might feel well-trod in this day and age, but go back 45 years and boy oh boy did this concept get the pearls clutched. Travel with us to simpler time when kids wanted nothing more under the tree than toy soldiers with stabby tips and Santa groping their mom. Happy holidays!

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The snow is falling, the logs are crackling on the fire, and Kathy Bates is about to break your ankles so you can’t escape her love. Also, you better rewrite your whole novel while writhing in excruciating pain. MISERY (1990) has a reputation which precedes it, as does our host this week, friend and author Erik J. Brown! Of course we would have a writer come on to discuss how bad it would suck to be in James Caan’s shoes. Baby it’s cold outside (but you might not want to come in)!

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The holiday season is in full swing, so why wouldn’t we watch a 15-year-old Dutch Christmas horror movie? SINT (2010) follows an undead evil Santa with a burned face and a badass cane that he uses to decapitate people. On top of learning about evil Dutch Santa, you will find that blackface is apparently a socially-acceptable thing in that part of the world, which is definitely way more disturbing than a killer Santa. For the folks who whinge about subtitles, fear not - this one is dubbed in hilariously bad fashion, so you won’t have to read. Hold onto your Netherlands, it’s Horror Movie Night!

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Roll up some catnip for you and your furry friends; Kyle chats with Austin-based filmmaker Ronald Short about his upcoming stoner-comedy series, TEAGAN AND HIS BROS.

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Did you wake up today think the HMN boys were going to watch a 50-year-old dystopian scifi movie starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone that’s creepily prescient of what 2025 would look like? Neither did we, but here we are discussing DEATH RACE 2000 (1975). In a future America, the President is a worthless politician spending his days in Moscow, is more of a TV personality than statesman, and has created a gladiator-style race where the drivers kayfabe their way across the country running people over for points. Oh almost forgot, a huge part of the country is apparently Nazi lovers. Sound familiar? Listen to us enumerate how depressingly accurate these predictions really are.

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We all love Troma ‘round these parts, but we often forget that Uncle Lloydie’s more than a director - he’s also a distributor of tons of underground films. Most are objectively bad, but not FROSTBITER (1990), this one is a total party. Take equal parts Raimi and Harryhausen, throw them in a pot and simmer for 8 (!) years, and you got yourself some chili… Better write 2 (!) original joke songs about said chili and use them for chili demon battles in your movie. It sounds insane, it is insane, it’s also incredibly entertaining and full of charm. Let’s go fishin' y’all!

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Did you know Jackie Earle Haley wrote a horror movie after his child acting career ended and Shooter McGavin played the main character whose invisible friend drives him crazy? Oh don’t lie to us, we know you weren’t hip to the wonders found in PLAYROOM (1990), but that’s why this show exists - we find the hidden treasure for you! If you like Italian horror shots, this one’s for you; if you like man-goes-mad tropes, this one’s for you; if you like monster puppetry…. THIS ONE’S FOR YOU. We’ve been waiting since we were kids to have you sit on our circular saw throne, let’s play!

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We got a two-fer this week - a movie so illustrious it’s celebrating both its 35 year anniversary AND a new entry in its franchise that may or may not be good. We don’t know yet, and frankly, this series has left some otherworldly stinkers in its wake… but we’re here for it anyway. PREDATOR 2 (1990) is a bullet-laden ode to what Republicans thought cities were really like in the late 80s; the sad part is that they still think cities are just nonstop shootouts between courageous cops and well-armed drug cartels. Time is a flat circle, y’all. At least this particular stop in history has Dan Glover and Bill Paxton visibly sweating for close to 2 hours straight.

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