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Pervy little killer dolls are no strangers to the show, but what if those little freaks reproduced sexually and their poor kid was sold to Criss Angel? Scary stuff! SEED OF CHUCKY (2004) is both surprisingly ahead of its time AND somehow horribly tacky and gross for its time (and worse 22 years later). If you ever wondered what Chucky working his Stretch Armstrong in silhouette looked like, you’re in luck because he jerks off in this movie and that’s actually one of the less offensive scenes on display. Anyone got a towel?
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It’s still summer and that means you’re not safe in the water yet! This week, the island boys are going crab hunting with ISLAND CLAWS (1980), and film about what happens when capitalism allows people with money to dump radioactive waste wherever they want. And yes, we realize this same thing happened in KILLER CROCODILE - we’re trying to make a point here. The titular monster is (kind of) worth wading through all the character development because damn, who doesn’t want to watch a 10-foot-tall crustacean use its 15-foot claws to murder some random dudes with torches?
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Are you sick of people being stuck in buildings with vinyl flooring and concrete block walls? Well too bad, cuz we’ve got another batch of poor souls fighting off a death cult and Lovecraftian monsters in this week’s pick, THE VOID (2016). This one just turned 10, so we’re celebrating with a rewatch and a fresh perspective on Astron-6 movies. Is it an entirely new concept? Of course not, but it packs a body horror punch and has incredible low-budget practical effects so we all walked away happy. The same can’t be said for the characters in the film, though…
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That’s right, MORE killer animal content but this time, but this time we get Richard Harris on a pretty obvious bender throughout the movie shoot. ORCA (1977) is a surprisingly competent and may we even say well-done entry to the the JAWS ripoff pantheon that doesn’t get as much discussion as we think it should so here we are. Where else are you going to see a smart aquatic mammal blow up an entire freaking power plant? It’s as awesome as it sounds, trust us.
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At this point, we’re basically “giant animals attack” movie connoisseurs so why not add to the pile with a turn-of-the-century horror comedy take on the genre? LAKE PLACID (1999) has a stacked cast and the legendary Stan Winston Studios doing sfx, but they seemingly forgot one key ingredient to make it all work - actual funny jokes. Oh well, we’re still here for some crocodile carnage, and we get a ton of it. Plus Betty White is in it!
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It seems wild that confiscated items at a police station are underutilized trope in horror - think about all the weird stuff in evidence rooms, messing with it would lead to creepy stuff happening for sure. At least we have a gem of an indie horror like LAST SHIFT (2014) to show us what kind of trouble those cursed items could cause. You can’t help but feel bad for a rookie cop spending her first day (well, night, but you get the idea) on the job and being tormented by the ghosts of a murder cult. Police hazing is hell!
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It's been 11 years since our first episode ever came out... here's the long awaited best of Year 11 (pulling clips from Episodes 501-550)
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Christmas in July PLUS killer animal PLUS Stay Out of the Damn Water? You know which HMN host picked this week’s movie… It’s a very Matt Kelly Summermas with the film that gave a franchise a sea burial, JAWS: THE REVENGE (1987)! It may not be a good movie, but it’s probably not the worst shark movie we’ve seen, and at least it’s got Michael Cain in it. If you like a little fish psychic in your killer fish plot, well boy howdy have we got the film for you!
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Daddy issues, you say? Well you’re in luck then, because we’re continuing our backwards trajectory through the evil-guy-your-mom-married franchise with STEPFATHER II: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY (1989)! This one owes much of its watchability to Terry O’Quinn as the titular bad bonus dad, but let’s not forget we have Meg Foster and Caroline Williams doing some heavy lifting as well! Jonathan Brandis also chews some scenery as a cool skateboarding preteen who is totally relatable or something. Wanna get hitched? Hope you don’t mind it’s TIL DEATH!
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One way to avoid getting eaten by reptiles is to spend a soggy night in the Scottish highlands…. trying to avoid getting eaten by werewolves. DOG SOLDIERS (2002) is a well-loved cult classic and we somehow went 11 years without discussing it directly so it was about time that was rectified. The wolves look great, the pacing is awesome, there are buckets of gore (and so, SO many bullets), and there’s a ton of dry British humor - what more could you ask for? Besides not being werewolf food, of course.
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