Horror Movie Night

More killer animals this week, now with added radioactive waste! We’re heading to the tropics to investigate rumors of a KILLER CROCODILE (1989) and likely lose some limbs in the process. This Italian mess really shines when the ADR is off, the acting is over the top, and the croc animatronic is front and center (which is, thankfully, pretty often). The plot beats aren’t anything you haven’t seen before, but man, that croc looks awesome when it’s chowing down on people who didn’t take Matt’s advise to STAY OUT OF THE DAMN WATER.

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Summertime calls for a trip out to the woods for some good old-fashioned Bigfoot hunting! You wouldn’t think a movie called DEMONWARP (1988) would be about killer sasquatch, and on a certain level you’re not wrong - calling this a Bigfoot movie is a simplification of the other absurd stuff that goes on here. There are also zombies and aliens, and yes it’s all supposed to connect. Is it a good movie? Absolutely not, but it does star George Kennedy. Take that as you will.

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On a very Horror Movie Night side quest, Kyle sits down with filmmaker Zeshaan Younus about the haunting indie feature I've Seen All I Need To See, coming out June 1.

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Fresh from our trip to the hot, dry outback, we return to the city where it always rains and find ourselves in the middle of a centuries-long war between vampires and werewolves. UNDERWORLD (2003) is the story of a hot lady vampire who hasn’t been happy in a long and the werewolf who also never smiles but somehow melts her icy heart without a single drop of on-screen chemistry. Tale as old as time! Who wouldn’t want to be the middle of a vampire/werewolf love sandwich?

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Matt’s unquenchable need to see giant animals absolutely destroy unwitting humans has brought us to the lands of bloomin' onions and deer that hop on two legs (aka kangaroos). We’re deep in the ozploitation outback with RAZORBACK (1984), a nasty little film about a massive boar with a tendency to rip shanties and their occupants to pieces. Who’s to blame the boar, though? They say people taste like bacon.

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This week Kyle gives us a real deep cut slasher film with 1983's The House on Sorority Row. This movie is more famous for it's name and the 2009 remake than any of it's plot line but it's full of crazy dialogue, a clown killer and really strange kills. Basically, it's perfect for our show!

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Last week, we braved radioactive waste in Tromaville, only to find ourselves up against underground coal seam fires in SILENT HILL (2006). Now, none of us played the video game, so our enjoyment of this one is subjective, but if you look past the absurd runtime and some poorly-aging CGI, there’s a lot of fun to be had in a little pocket dimension town in West Virginia. And there’s a cult, what more could you ask for? Maybe not being stuck in Silent Hill forever, but that might not be an option once you find your way there…

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The end of the school year is closing in so we’re headed back to Tromaville High for another round of toxic tomfoolery with CLASS OF NUKE EM HIGH 2: SUBHUMANOID MELTDOWN (1991). An obvious favorite in the Kelly household, this excursion finds a himbo reporter falling in love with a science experiment and the entire school battling it out with a squirrel kaiju - seriously! You know we love Troma round these parts, and this week isn’t some sort of turnaround on that sentiment. Let’s get slimy!

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This week the boys get a little Kaiju by discussing the Godzilla battle film "Godzilla vs Biollante" in which Tokyo's most toxic lizard battles a plant monster with the soul of a dead little girl inside of it (no we did not make that up)

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We’ve been holding onto this one for a decade and finally decided to run a stake through the heart of our dreams of a new addition to the franchise, so it’s finally time to ice skate uphill with the baddest vampire hunter of all time, BLADE (1998)! Now, it might be the nostalgia talking, but this movie has aged like a fine, blood-red wine. Is it overly long? Yes! Is it a lot of martial arts fighting and gun violence? Also yes! Is the CGI kind of terrible? Ok we get it, it’s not winning any awards but dammit, it’s a fun ride. Get in the car, Traci Lords is taking us to the blood rave!

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