House Sadness

You mean that wimpy deer? Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The battle chodes get things started with some “WFM’s” then the battle chodes welcome back Clemin for a nice little chat in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “30 seconds of you’re not gonna believe it but it’s another butt munching Pizza Head commercial” then the battle chodes sling some new slang in “No-cabulary” then it’s “120 seconds of Monsters of Rock commercial, not to be confused with the talented folks over at Monsters of C*ck” then the battle chodes ramble and bring the episode to an end. So grab your headphones, don’t be afraid to jump into your neighbor’s backyard to get your baseball back and give this bad boy a listen.

 

 

 

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The toros sure are number one. Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The carpetbaggers get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then the carpetbaggers take a break from chatting with Clemin to bring back the old “Joke of the Gay” then we hear “30 seconds of yet another Free Credit Report dot your mom commercial” then it’s time to gather around the campfire and listen to some tales of woe in “Notecard Secrets” then we hear “30 seconds of a Phone Sex Hotline commercial from da 90’s” then the carpetbaggers cum to Jesus and name the episode. So grab your headphones, go steal some cheers from the school across town and give this podcast a listen.

 

 

 

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I hate Mr. Bean. Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The ginger-snaps get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then they check in on that rascal Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “30 seconds of a Butterball Thanksgiving Commercial from da 80’s” then the ginger-snaps introduce what might be the greatest bit to ever be captured on a podcast in “It’s Been A While” then we hear “30 seconds of another dang Butterball Turkey Commercial” then the ginger-snaps do some chatting and name the episode. So grab your headphones, butter your turkey’s balls and give this grammy nominated episode a listen.

 

 

 

 

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I’ve got nipples, Greg. Would you listen to my podcast? Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The dick-weeds get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then it’s time to see what kind of mess Clemin’s gotten himself into this week in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “60 seconds of a Country Corn Flakes Commercial” then the dick-weeds play out some wacky scenarios in “Fun to Yer Head” then we hear “30 seconds of a Cracker Barrel Cheese Commercial” then it’s everyone favorite part of the episode where the dick-weeds wrap things up and name the episode. So grab your headphones, go get your cootie shot and give this sad boy a listen. 

 

 

 

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It’s the most wonderful time in my rear because it’s time for another episode of House Sadness. The scallywags get things started with some “WFM’s” then the scallywags get an extra special call from everyone’s favorite convict in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” the we hear “120 seconds of a Punk album commercial” then this next segment is brought to you by The Shins because the scallywags are discussing some new slang in “No-cabulary” then we hear “30 seconds of a Trojan Condoms commercial, a sponsor the scallywags would love to have” then the scallywags wrap things up and name the episode. So grab your headphones, tell your grandma to go easy on the salt and give this episode a listen.

VISIT: MOISTJUNK.COM for House Sadness merchandise.

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Cuz this is sadness. House Sadness the podcast. Close enough. Welcome to the sploogey and spooky Halloween episode of House Sadness. The hobgoblins start things off with some spooky “WFM’s,” then we hear “30 seconds of a Franken Berry cereal commercial,” then the hobgoblins listen in on ssssssssome ssssssssuper ssssssspooky ssssssstories from Cecil and that other guy who forgot his own name in “The Ghost Lisperers: Creepy Pasta Edition,” then we hear “30 seconds of an Elvira Coors Light commercial,” then the hobgoblins mash-up non horror movies with horror movies to make some scurry ass shit in “Monster Mash-up,” then the hobgoblins wrap things up and name the episode. So grab your headphones, take some candy from strangers and give this bad boy a listen.

VISIT: MOISTJUNK.COM for House Sadness merchandise.

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“Well if I had the money, I’d tell you what I’d do, I’d go online, listen to an episode or two, crazy bout house sadness, yea I’m crazy bout house sadness.” This is a Jacob Alan “Jackson” Kubon filled epichode, slightly shorter than the last, but longer than moist. Another epichode where we are missing Casey and have the privilege of having a guest co-host, you know him, and no one will blow him, the one, the only, THE SHAKETHATBEAR QUAKER!!!! TONY THE CRUNCH CAMPOS!!! He’s back for this Jacob Makeup epichode, a special treat for all of you sadsacks because we missed a previous week of sadness, because for a brief moment in time, Jacob forgot what it was like to be a forever resident of House Sadness. But don’t worry, it all came flooding back like a sadness bukkake to his supple and eager mouth and filled him to his brim with bummer cummer. The Crunch Man kicks off this epichode with a TERRIFYING TALE of someone making a big time OOPSY DOODLE and ends up with black on his face. We take a quick break with Alan Jackson serenading us with his plans for all the money he has been making, sounds like he’ll have a minimum of at least two ford trucks. The two ding-a-ling kings get off topic as much as possible but somehow make it back to “The Joe Slogan Experience” where Crunch Berries reads slogans from different restaurants and Big Dipshit has a much harder time than he expected guessing them, WHAT AN IDIOT! But they finally make it through and to another break to hear Alan Jackson sing about THE GREATEST DAMN COUNTRY IN THE GUT DAMP WORLD…FORD COUNTRY. We hear from Mr. Jackson quite a few times in this epichode, usually singing about Ford Trucks, once about Miller Lite, and we even tried offering him a BRAND NEW DODGE RAM, to which he simply replied, “That’s Gonna Be a No from Me Dog.” We somehow make it to the end of the epichode, with The Sandman grabbing us by the ponytails and butt-fucking our eyelids closed, but allass, it was a fun ride while it lasted. RIP THE CRUNCH…the sandman did a real number on his number two, he no longer crunches like he used to, now he moistly just GOOOOO’S.

 

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HOLY SQUAWK-A-MOLE!!! THAT’S A LONG DONG DILVER OF AN EPI-CHODE!!! When the Casey’s away, the two dipshits will gay. This epi-chode we have a special guest co-host, the one and only FRUMMUNDAHCHEESE-TAKER…TONY THE CRUNCH CAMPOS. The two are all fucking over the place but for the moist part discuss some of the “Fastest Food on Two Chicken-Legs.” After a quick commercial break and the return of “Pizza Head” (I’m sure Casey is happy he missed that one), Jacob introduces us to some of the wildest and dericious sounding gimmicks that fast food places have tried throughout the years and drools over the commercial for the “KFC DOUBLE DOWN DOG” and gets into DOUBLE DOWNWARD FACING DOG, an expert yoga move that requires one to shove they ass in the air and then freehand munch a DOUBLE DOWN DOG from the floor like a dog. Jacob licks at the linoleum as if he was trying to suck the chrome off of Silver Surfer’s dick, Tony lifts him up, kicking and screaming so that they can get to the bottom of a sauce cup in “Sauce is the Boss.” Your Boss may be a singer from New Jersey, butt I’ll tell you TWHHHAT, you’re missing out on some perdy dang guhd sauces muh doooood. And like the snap of an intoxicated frat boys neck, it’s over before it seemed to have even began.

 

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Was that the boogeyman? Nope, just another episode of House Sadness (sorry) the fart faces get things started per usual with some “WFM’s,” then it’s time to check in with that dumb dick Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin,” then we hear “30 seconds of a Tiger Deluxe Talk Boy commercial,” then the fart faces stop yanking their cranks to talk about some cranks they’ve yanked (like the great show Crank Yankees) or the fart faces dip into the Prank Bank in “From First to Last: Pranks,” then we hear “30 seconds of a Creepy Crawlers commercial,” then the fart faces warp things up and name the episode. So grab your headphones, dip your tits in some holy water and give this thing a listen.

 

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No, Colonel Sanders, you’re wrong. Step right up to another episode of House Sadness. The reach arounds get things started with some lovely “WFM’s,” then it’s time to check in on our favorite convict in “The Kooky Case of Clemin,” then we hear “60 seconds of a Mr. Microphone commercial,” then the reach arounds share some shit you can yell while you’re sinning in “sCREAM yer Genes,” then we hear “30 seconds of Sex Operator commercial,” then the reach arounds get all tuckered out and name the episode. So grab your headphones, rub one out to Stonehenge and play this for your favorite dolphin.

 

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