House Sadness

How do you like your tea? Cream? Sugar? Or do you want me to pee in it? Welcome to another episode of House Sadness, everyone, except Melissa. The Sick Dick Rick’s get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then hold onto your butts, folks, it’s another call from Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin'” then we hear “30 seconds of the now bankrupt Girls Gone Wild: Best Breasts Edition” then you better strap on (not in) because it’s a catsup episode where the Slick Dick Rick’s trade stories about what they’ve been up to. Jacob: Cool sh*t all over the globe, rubbing non-herpes elbows with celebs and having a grand ol time. Casey: You know, like, going on walks, going to the store just so he has someone to talk to and realizing he doesn’t have many friends, but it’s an all around doozie. So grab your headphones, f*ck you, Melissa and give this episode a listen. Rate and review and spread the word.

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Welcome to primetime, bitch. And also welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The ding-dongs get things started like they always do with some “WFM’s” then I hope you’re sitting down because it’s time to check in with Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “60 seconds of a Levis commercial from the 70’s” then I hope you’re standing up so you can tuck your boner into your waistline because the ding-dongs share some sweet nothings you can say while you’re sprayin and prayin in “sCREAM Your Jeans” then we hear “60 seconds of a Calvin Klein Jeans commercial featuring Brooke Shields” then the ding-dongs talk about farts or hotdogs or something and name the episode. So grab your headphones, use this podcast as a tax write off and give this bad boy a listen. Subscribe, rate and review and share this podcast with a dear friend, please.

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PSA for that ass: There are a few audio issues in the episode but don’t worry, Jacob will get it sorted out while Casey doesn’t do a damn thing. Anyway, welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The dildo breaths get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then there’s no call from Clemin this week so it’s the triumphant return of “Joke of the Gay” then we hear “60 seconds of a 1950’s Frosted Flakes commercial” then the dildo breaths make up some sweet slang you dorks can steal and pass off as your own in “No-cabulary” then we hear “60 seconds of a Froot Loops commercial” then things are wrapped and the episode gets named. So grab your headphones, do the splits in the middle of an intersection and give this episode a listen. Don’t forget to rate and review and tell some folks about the podcast. Thanks.

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Sometimes you wanna go where everybody’s Kevin James. Welcome, welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The mambo number 5’s get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then ring ring ring, you better pick up that dang phone or you’re gonna miss out on a call from Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “30 seconds of a Butterfinger commercial featuring Mr. Bart Simpson himself” then you all are in for a treat because the mambo number 5’s get to talking about this year’s upcoming Oscar and Kid’s Choice Awards contenders in “Squeakquals” then we hear “30 seconds of a Hotdog commercial featuring Mr. Michael Jordan him-shelf” then there’s some mumbling and some bumbling and the mambo number 5’s name the episode. So grab your headphones, don’t sweat the small stuff and give this bad boy a listen. Don’t forget to rate and review and play this for some coma patients. Tanks.

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Man, everybody got AIDS and sh*t. Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The showgirls get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then there’s no call from the darling Clemin so it’s back to the old “Joke of the Gay” then we hear “30 seconds of a Free Credit Report Dot Org commercial” then the showgirls crack open their dairies and spill the beans and some seed and some secrets in “Notecard Secrets” then we hear “30 seconds of an Armour Bacon commercial” then there’s some chit and some chatting and then the episode gets named. So grab your headphones, dust off your favorite pair of heels and do a sad striptease to this episode. Don’t forget to rate and review and tell some folks about the podcast. Tanks.

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Damn right it’s my fishing trip. And if you bother me about anything, Bill, I’ll kick your ass across the state line, okay? Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The corndogs get things started with some “WFM’s” then it’s time to check in and see what kind of pickle Clemin’s gotten himself into this week in ‘The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “30 seconds of a Pizza Head commercial (I wish I was dead)” then the corndogs make up some words and eat some turds in “No-cabulary” then we hear “120 seconds of Cool Rock commercial and it is pretty dang cool if I do say so myself” then there’s some talking and some fart knocking and the corndogs name the episode. So grab your headphones, put on a pot of hobo chili and give this episode a listen. Please rate and review and tell a friends. This is all I’ve got.

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You were right, Billy. I am a butthead. Welcome to another rootin’ tootin’ episode House Sadness. The juggalos get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then there’s no call this week from Clemin so it’s back to the old yuck yucks in “Joke of the Gay” then we hear “97 seconds of god will make flames comin’ outta yo butthole, I’ve seen him do it” then: I’ve got a crush on you / I hope you feel the way that I do / I get a rush / When I’m with you / Ooooh, I’ve got a crush on you / A crush on you. The juggalos are walking you through their love lives in “From First to Last: Crushes” then we hear “30 seconds of a phone sex commercial from da 90’s” then there’s some whoop whoops and the juggalos name the episode. So grab your headphones, slap some ham and give this episode a listen. Feel free to rate and review and spread the word.

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Don’t you see that killing me is not going to bring back your apples? Gather round, folks. It’s time for another episode of House Sadness. First, the lollygaggers add some names to the never ending list of “WFM’s” then the lollygaggers get a call from the fella who’s number one on your speed dial and who isn’t afraid to take a mean number two on your heart: it’s Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “60 seconds of Run Ronnie, Run kick in da c*nt” then I hope you’re sitting down because the lollygaggers have some stuff for you to try out the next time you’re making love or making fudge in “sCREAM yer Jeans” then we hear “30 seconds of an Armour Hotdog commerical” then the lollygaggers wrap things up and name the episode. So grab your headphones, do a weird interpretative dance with the naked lady in the room over and give this episode a listen and while you’re at it, why not rate and review the podcast. Tanks.

VISIT: MOISTJUNK.COM for House Sadness merchandise.

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This has been like my dream ever since I got my first Easy-Bake oven and opened ‘Easy Monica’s Bakery.’ Welcome to another episode of House Sadness, take your shoes off, please. The hotdog flavored waters get things started with the usual “WFM” antics, then you won’t get a lemon when you get a call from Clemin in “The Kooky Case of Clemin” then we hear “45 seconds of a Chili’s Baby Back Ribs commercial” then what would you do if your son was at home crying all alone on the bedroom floor cuz he’s hungry? I don’t know, I guess write a song about it. Anyway, find out what the hotdog flavored waters would do in “Fun to Your Head: Donner Party of 5 Edition” then we hear “45 seconds of NSYNC singing about Chili’s Baby Back Ribs” then the hotdog flavored waters wrap things up and name the episode. So grab your headphones, go play a game of hopscotch and give this bad boy a listen.

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Welcome to dead storage. We’re gonna die. Whale cum to another episode of Blouse Dadless. The double dippers get things started with the usual “WFM’s” then there’s no call from Clemin this week so instead you’re stuck with “Joke of the Gay” and you’re gonna like it, then we hear “46 seconds of Sam Jackson talking about his diet in True Romance” then the double dippers punch up some boring ass/historically significant, important moments in human history,/hey, my lame ass dad worked really hard on that, speeches/monologues in “Speech Impediments” then we hear “30 seconds of another One Star Review from Bryan Smith” then the double dippers keep it tight and name the episode. So grab your headphones, give Whoopi Goldberg a hug (She’s earned it) give this dang thing a listen.

VISIT: MOISTJUNK.COM for House Sadness merchandise.

USE CODE: FARTCAST for 15% OFF your ENTIRE ORDER.