How To Be Awesome At Everything

I think luck is less random and more based on 2 things…

Putting yourself in more situations where luck can find you…

And becoming the kind of person who is actually looking for it when it does.

They're out there. They're in the arena. They're meeting people, trying things, taking chances, going places, following ideas, and creating more opportunities for something good to happen.

But I also think luck has a lot to do with perspective.

Two people can experience the exact same setback and see it completely differently. One person sees proof that nothing works. The other person thinks, "Okay… what could this make possible?"

People who believe they are lucky tend to look for evidence that good things happen to them. They notice opportunities. They see possibilities. They expect something good could come from the situation.

And find what you're looking for.

Sometimes the lucky break doesn't happen because someone is smarter.

Or more talented.

Or more connected.

It happens because they were still there when the opportunity showed up.

If you believe nothing ever works out for you, you will find evidence for that everywhere.

If you believe good things happen to you, they are more likely to.

A lot of what we call luck is really persistence.

Someone kept going long enough to still be there when the opportunity finally showed up.

They kept creating. Kept asking. Kept applying. Kept trying. Kept learning. Kept meeting people. Kept taking another shot.

You cannot beat someone who has already decided they will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes.

If quitting is off the table, you automatically give yourself more chances for something to break your way.

Sometimes the "lucky" person simply lasted longer than everyone else.

They were still in the room when the right person walked in.

They were still building when the market changed.

They were still posting when one video finally took off.

They were still trying when the right opportunity appeared.

Luck rewards longevity.

Luck has a hard time finding you if you are sitting on the sidelines.

The people who seem to get lucky are often out there doing more.

They go to the dinner.

They attend the event.

They introduce themselves.

They take the trip.

They try the class.

They send the email.

They make the call.

They publish the idea.

They take a chance without knowing exactly how it will turn out.

You cannot control every outcome, but you can control how many opportunities you create for a good outcome.

More action means more chances for something unexpected to happen.

Give luck more opportunities to bump into you.

Think about luck in terms of probability.

One conversation gives you one possibility.

Ten conversations give you ten.

One pitch gives you one chance.

Fifty pitches give you fifty.

One new experience exposes you to one set of people and ideas.

A life filled with new experiences exposes you to hundreds.

Luck can still be random, but you can absolutely increase the number of moments where randomness has a chance to work in your favor.

Ask yourself:

Where could I go that puts me around new people?

Who could I talk to?

What could I try?

What could I apply for?

What could I create?

What could I say yes to?

A lot of people miss opportunities because they need certainty before taking action.

Will this work?

Will this be worth my time?

Will this person say yes?

Will this make money?

Will this lead somewhere?

Sometimes you have absolutely no idea.

And that is where possibility lives.

If you only do things where you can predict the outcome, you remove a huge amount of serendipity from your life.

Some of the best things that happen to us begin with no obvious payoff.

Follow the interesting thing.

Take the meeting.

Explore the idea.

Try the thing.

Let curiosity lead sometimes.

Your brain is constantly filtering information.

You cannot notice everything around you, so what you expect and what you focus on changes what you actually see.

If you believe nothing ever works out for you, you will find evidence for that everywhere.

If you believe there are opportunities all around you, you start noticing them.

You notice the person you should talk to.

The idea worth exploring.

The opening.

The invitation.

The connection.

The possibility.

You find what you are looking for.

This does not mean pretending bad things do not happen.

It means training yourself to ask:

What is available to me here?

What could be good about this?

What opportunity might I be missing?

There is power in the identity you carry around.

If you move through life thinking, "Good things happen to me," you behave differently.

You are more open.

More curious.

More willing to engage.

More likely to take a chance.

More likely to notice something good.

This is not about believing you are entitled to a perfect life.

It is about expecting possibility.

Instead of only asking, "What if this goes wrong?"

Ask, "What if this goes incredibly right?"

That shift changes how you move through the world.

One of the most interesting things about luck is that you often cannot tell whether something is lucky or unlucky while it is happening.

Something falls apart.

You lose an opportunity.

Someone rejects you.

A plan changes.

Something does not work out the way you wanted.

At the time, it can feel like terrible luck.

But then it redirects you.

You meet someone you would not have met.

You start something you never would have started.

You learn something you desperately needed to learn.

You end up somewhere better.

Sometimes what initially looks like the worst thing becomes one of the luckiest things that ever happened to you.

The person who is open to that possibility responds differently.

Instead of immediately deciding, "This is terrible," they ask:

What could this be redirecting me toward?

How could I use this?

What could become possible because this happened?

Optimism is not believing everything will always work out exactly how you want.

It is believing you will figure out what to do next.

That mindset matters enormously when something goes wrong.

A pessimistic response says, "See? I knew this wouldn't work."

An optimistic response says, "Okay. That didn't work. What now?"

One response ends the game.

The other keeps you playing.

And the longer you keep playing, the more chances you have for luck to find you.

Optimism creates endurance.

A massive amount of luck comes through other people.

Someone recommends you.

Someone introduces you.

Someone tells you about an opportunity.

Someone thinks of you.

Someone invites you somewhere.

Someone shares an idea that changes the way you see something.

Relationships create intersections you could never manufacture on your own.

Be interested in people.

Help people.

Make introductions.

Be generous.

Follow up.

Stay connected.

Talk to people you have no obvious reason to talk to.

You never know which conversation becomes important later.

Curiosity is one of the easiest ways to create unexpected opportunity.

Read the thing.

Learn the skill.

Visit the place.

Ask the question.

Explore the topic.

Try the hobby.

Meet the person.

You do not always need to justify everything with productivity or ROI.

Sometimes the dots connect later.

A random interest today could create an opportunity five years from now.

Curiosity puts more dots on the page.

This might be one of the simplest ways to become luckier.

Take more shots.

If you want the opportunity, apply.

If you want the collaboration, ask.

If you want the business, pitch.

If you want people to hear your ideas, publish them.

If you want to meet more people, go where people are.

If you want a different life, start creating different inputs.

You do not need every shot to work.

You need enough shots that a few work really well.

The goal is not a 100 percent success rate.

The goal is to stay active enough that something has a chance to hit.

Make this a regular question.

Who could I reach out to?

Where could I go?

What invitation could I accept?

What idea could I test?

What could I publish?

What could I learn?

What slightly uncomfortable thing could I do?

Do not sit around hoping to get lucky.

Build a life that gives luck a lot of entry points.

I think the biggest shift is realizing that creating more luck is not about controlling what happens to you.

You cannot.

Random things happen.

Things go wrong.

Plans fall apart.

And sometimes incredible opportunities appear completely out of nowhere.

But you can decide how you live in between those moments.

You can stay in the game.

You can get in the arena.

You can meet more people.

Take more shots.

Follow more curiosity.

Put yourself in more rooms.

And you can choose to move through life believing that good things are possible and looking for evidence of them.

Because you tend to find what you are looking for.

And sometimes something that looks like terrible luck in the moment becomes one of the best things that ever happened to you because you were willing to ask, "Okay… what can I do with this?"

So maybe being lucky is not about sitting around waiting for the universe to pick you.

Maybe it is deciding:

I am going to stay in this long enough.

I am going to put myself out there enough.

I am going to keep looking for the good.

And I am going to create so many opportunities for something great to happen that eventually, something will.

Luck is out there ready and waiting for you… put yourself in the situations and be ready for it!

I think there is this idea that when you forgive someone, part of that is letting them back in.

Like forgiveness automatically means reconciliation.

Like because you let go of the anger, they get their old access back.

And I think that is one of the biggest misunderstandings about forgiveness.

Because I can forgive you and still not trust you.

I can wish you well and still not want you in my space.

Those things are not contradictions.

That is clarity.

Forgiveness, for me, is about releasing what I no longer want to carry.

The anger. The resentment. The replaying.

But forgiveness does not delete the data.

I still remember what you showed me.

I still remember what happened.

I still get to make decisions based on that information.

And if nothing has changed, giving someone access again is sometimes just giving them another opportunity to do the exact same thing.

So today we are talking about how to forgive without reopening doors that need to stay closed.

How to release resentment without abandoning your boundaries.

And I think learning the difference between forgiveness and access is one of the most important lessons there is when it comes to protecting your peace.

I think this is where so many people get confused.

Forgiveness is internal.

Reconciliation is relational.

Forgiveness is something you can choose by yourself.

Reconciliation requires two people.

You can decide:

"I am done being angry about this."

"I am done letting this take up space in my mind."

"I am done wishing things were different."

"I am going to move forward."

None of that requires you to restore the relationship.

Reconciliation requires rebuilding.

It requires accountability. Change. Consistency. Trust. Effort. Time.

And sometimes, even after all of those things, you may still decide that the relationship is better left in the past.

Forgiveness does not automatically create an obligation to reconnect.

I love this idea:

Forgiving you doesn't delete the data.

Because sometimes we treat forgiveness like we are supposed to suddenly become forgetful.

But experiences give us information.

If someone lied repeatedly, that is information.

If someone betrayed your confidence, that is information.

If someone consistently disrespected your boundaries, that is information.

If being around somebody repeatedly left you anxious, depleted, insecure or confused, that is information.

You don't have to be angry about the information in order to use it.

That is such an important distinction.

You can say:

"I'm not mad anymore. But now I know."

That is wisdom.

You don't need to keep touching the stove just because you forgave it for burning you.

You learned.

And learning is supposed to change your behavior.

This is another huge one.

You can forgive somebody and still not trust them.

Because forgiveness can happen in a moment.

Trust is built through behavior.

Trust is evidence.

Trust is repetition.

Trust is somebody consistently showing you:

"My words and actions match."

"I respect your boundaries."

"I take responsibility when I hurt you."

"I have actually changed."

You do not owe somebody instant trust because they apologized.

And you definitely don't owe them trust simply because you decided to forgive them.

You can forgive freely.

Trust should be earned.

Not everyone deserves the same level of access to you.

I think we need to normalize this.

There are levels.

Someone can be somebody you care about but don't confide in.

Someone can be somebody you are cordial with but don't spend time alone with.

Someone can be somebody you love but know you cannot have an emotionally close relationship with.

Someone can be somebody you forgive from a very large distance.

Access is not a punishment.

Access is a boundary.

Your time is access. Your home is access. Your children are access. Your private thoughts are access. Your energy is access. Your vulnerable moments are access.

Those things should not be automatically available to everyone.

Especially someone who has already shown you they cannot handle that access responsibly.

This is where people think boundaries somehow mean hate.

They don't.

You can genuinely hope somebody has a beautiful life.

You can hope they heal.

You can hope they grow.

You can pray for them.

You can celebrate something good happening to them.

And still say:

"I do not want to participate in your life anymore."

Those things are not contradictions.

You do not have to hate somebody in order to leave.

Sometimes you leave because you finally stopped hating them.

You stopped fighting. Stopped trying to prove your point. Stopped trying to make them understand. Stopped trying to get the apology.

And you simply accepted reality.

Sometimes the goal is just peace.

That's it.

Not closure from them.

Not an apology.

Not a reunion.

Not some perfectly wrapped ending.

Just peace.

Peace that says:

"That happened."

"I didn't like it."

"I learned from it."

"And I am not going to keep paying for it emotionally every day."

Forgiveness can simply mean that the event no longer gets to control your nervous system.

You stop waking up thinking about it.

You stop rehearsing imaginary conversations.

You stop checking whether they finally understand what they did.

You reclaim your attention.

That is freedom.

This one is important.

Sometimes somebody says:

"Well, I thought you forgave me."

But what they really mean is:

"I thought I would get the same access again."

Those are not the same thing.

Some people aren't upset that you're still angry.

You're not angry.

They are upset that there are consequences.

They want to skip accountability and go directly back to proximity.

They want your forgiveness to erase the natural consequences of their choices.

But forgiveness does not require you to protect somebody from consequences.

If I learn that I cannot trust you with certain parts of my life, the consequence may simply be less access.

Not revenge.

Not punishment.

Just a new boundary based on new information.

This line really matters:

Proximity without change is just a second opportunity to do the same thing.

Because people will sometimes rush reconciliation because the discomfort of distance feels awkward.

But if nothing actually changed, what are we reconciling?

Did the person become more accountable?

Did the behavior stop?

Did communication improve?

Were boundaries respected?

Was there actual repair?

Or did enough time just pass that everyone feels uncomfortable talking about it anymore?

Time passing is not the same thing as growth.

An apology is not the same thing as transformation.

Words matter.

Behavior matters more.

I think sometimes people reconcile because they don't want to look mean.

They don't want family members to think they're difficult.

They don't want mutual friends to feel awkward.

They don't want to be accused of holding a grudge.

So they perform closeness.

And inside they are thinking:

"I don't trust this person."

"I don't feel safe around this person."

"I don't actually want this relationship."

That kind of relationship becomes exhausting because now you're spending energy pretending.

You do not have to manufacture intimacy to prove that you're healed.

Sometimes healing actually looks like being able to peacefully say:

"No thank you."

You don't have to still be mad in order to say no.

You don't need a dramatic reason.

You don't need another explosion.

You don't need them to do something terrible one more time.

You can simply decide:

"This relationship no longer works for me."

We have been conditioned to think boundaries need a courtroom argument.

They don't.

You are allowed to notice patterns.

You are allowed to recognize how somebody affects you.

And you are allowed to make decisions accordingly.

Peace sometimes looks like silence.

Peace sometimes looks like not responding.

Peace sometimes looks like seeing their name and feeling nothing.

Peace sometimes looks like being able to be in the same room without needing to confront them.

And peace sometimes looks like never seeing them again.

There is no universal picture of forgiveness.

Sometimes people assume healing means everybody gets back together.

Maybe healing means you no longer need everybody to get back together.

This applies to friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, work relationships and everything in between.

Love by itself does not make every relationship healthy.

Sometimes you can genuinely love somebody and still recognize:

"We are not good together."

Or:

"I cannot keep exposing myself to this."

Or:

"I care about you, but I cannot keep participating in this dynamic."

That doesn't make the love fake.

It means love isn't the only factor in the decision.

You also have to consider trust.

Respect.

Safety.

Compatibility.

Peace.

Values.

Patterns.

One of the hardest parts about boundaries is realizing the other person may never agree with yours.

They may call you dramatic.

Cold.

Unforgiving.

Sensitive.

Difficult.

Selfish.

And if your entire goal is getting them to approve of your boundary, you're going to stay stuck.

Sometimes the person who benefited most from you having no boundaries is going to hate your boundaries the most.

That doesn't automatically mean the boundary is wrong.

You have to be able to tolerate being misunderstood.

Sometimes we think forgiveness means having this big emotional moment where you suddenly feel warmth toward the person.

Maybe.

But sometimes forgiveness is much quieter.

You just stop caring.

Not in a cruel way.

You simply stop being emotionally hooked.

Their choices don't ruin your day anymore.

Their name doesn't trigger a twenty-minute rant.

You don't need everyone else to agree with your version of what happened.

You don't need revenge.

You don't need validation.

You moved on.

That is powerful.

Instead of only asking:

"How could they do this to me?"

Ask:

"What did this teach me?"

Maybe it taught you to stop ignoring red flags.

Maybe it taught you to speak up sooner.

Maybe it taught you that chemistry does not equal compatibility.

Maybe it taught you that history does not equal loyalty.

Maybe it taught you that an apology without changed behavior means very little.

Maybe it taught you to trust your instincts.

Maybe it taught you that you can survive losing a relationship you once thought you couldn't live without.

Take the lesson.

Leave the bitterness.

Sometimes the answer isn't all-in or completely gone.

Maybe the relationship needs a different shape.

You can move someone from your inner circle to your outer circle.

You can reduce frequency.

You can change what topics you discuss.

You can stop sharing private information.

You can stop asking them for emotional support.

You can see them at family events without maintaining a close personal relationship.

Boundaries don't always mean cutting someone off.

Sometimes they mean creating the appropriate distance.

If you do decide that you want to rebuild a relationship, don't rush it.

Let the person show you.

You don't have to immediately hand them the keys again.

Start small.

Pay attention.

Do they respect your boundaries?

Do they take ownership?

Do they become defensive when the past comes up?

Do their actions match their apology?

Can they tolerate earning trust slowly?

Real change can handle patience.

Manipulation usually demands immediate access.

Sometimes after a difficult relationship, we get angry with ourselves.

"How did I not see this?"

"Why did I stay?"

"Why did I give them another chance?"

But you made choices with the information, confidence and perspective you had at the time.

Now you know more.

The goal isn't to shame your previous self.

The goal is to become somebody who responds differently now.

Growth means the lesson changes your future behavior.

There is a major difference between creating distance to hurt somebody and creating distance to protect yourself.

If your goal is:

"I want them to suffer."

That's revenge.

But if your goal is:

"I don't want to live in this dynamic anymore."

That's a boundary.

You know the difference internally.

Protecting your peace does not require you to punish anybody.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is simply remove yourself.

I think one of the strongest forms of emotional maturity is being able to say:

I forgave you.

I'm not angry.

I'm not bitter.

I don't spend my days thinking about what happened.

I genuinely hope you have a great life.

And I still don't want you close to me.

There is nothing contradictory about that.

You are allowed to forgive somebody without restoring their previous position in your life.

You are allowed to release anger and keep the lesson.

You are allowed to stop carrying resentment while still maintaining boundaries.

Forgiveness doesn't delete the data.

Forgiveness doesn't automatically rebuild trust.

Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.

And forgiveness does not come with a key.

Sometimes the healthiest ending isn't everyone hugging and going back to the way things were.

Sometimes the healthiest ending is simply:

I learned. I released it. I wish you well.

And the door stays closed.

That isn't bitterness.

That's clarity and some of the BEST kind of it.

Today we are talking about something that I think we all need to know about…

How to reset your dopamine.

And before you think this is going to be one of those extreme episodes where I tell you to throw your phone into the ocean, stop drinking coffee, sit in a dark room for three days and eliminate everything fun from your life…

That is absolutely not what we are doing.

Because dopamine isn't bad.

We need dopamine.

Dopamine is part of what makes us want things. Pursue things. Work toward goals. Get up and go.

The problem is that we are living in an environment where we can get enormous amounts of stimulation with almost zero effort.

Open Instagram.

Refresh your email.

Check likes.

Open TikTok.

Eat something hyper-palatable.

Buy something.

Get a notification.

Watch another episode.

Click another video.

Check your texts.

Pick up your phone because you have 17 seconds with nothing to do.

We have essentially eliminated boredom.

And I think we need to talk about what that is doing to us.

Because I don't think most people have a motivation problem.

I think some people have made normal life too boring compared to the stimulation they consume all day long.

Think about this.

Working toward a goal is slow.

Building a business is slow.

Getting stronger is slow.

Improving a relationship is slow.

Reading a book is slow.

Learning something difficult is slow.

But your phone can give you novelty every half second.

So what happens when your brain gets accustomed to incredibly stimulating rewards that require almost no effort?

The things that actually build an awesome life can start feeling painfully boring.

And THAT is what I want to change today.

I've been going deep into what Andrew Huberman, Chris Williamson, Stanford addiction psychiatrist Anna Lembke, Peter Attia and Gary Brecka have discussed around dopamine, reward, pleasure, discomfort and motivation.

And there is one massive theme that keeps coming up:

We need to stop getting so many rewards without earning them.

We need less cheap dopamine…

And more earned dopamine.

More accomplishment dopamine.

More anticipation.

More effort.

More challenge.

More doing hard things and feeling awesome afterward.

So today we're going to talk about what dopamine actually does, why our modern environment can completely screw with our motivation, what people mean by a dopamine reset, and most importantly…

How we actually do it.

Not forever.

Not perfectly.

But intentionally enough that normal life starts feeling interesting again.

Because imagine waking up and actually WANTING to work on your goals.

Imagine sitting in your car without immediately opening your phone.

Imagine finishing a workout and letting that accomplishment be the reward instead of instantly needing another stimulus.

Imagine being fully engaged in dinner.

Or a conversation.

Or a walk.

Or your kids.

Or your work.

That's what we're after.

Not less enjoyment.

More enjoyment from the things that actually matter.

• This is probably the biggest misunderstanding.

• Dopamine plays a huge role in motivation, pursuit, learning, reinforcement and determining what your brain decides is worth pursuing again.

• Think less "this makes me happy" and more: "Go get that again."

• It's a molecule heavily involved in wanting and pursuing.

• You have a baseline level of dopamine.

• Then certain experiences generate temporary increases above that baseline.

• The important part is what happens afterward.

• A big dopamine peak can be followed by a period where dopamine activity falls below where it was previously.

• This is part of why something incredible can sometimes leave you feeling strangely flat afterward.

• The higher and more frequently we chase enormous peaks, the more ordinary activities can start losing their appeal.

If you eat incredibly sweet processed foods all day…

A blueberry doesn't taste very sweet.

There isn't anything wrong with the blueberry.

Your reference point changed.

The same general concept applies here.

When your environment becomes filled with intense stimulation…

Quiet feels boring.

Reading feels boring.

Work feels boring.

Walking feels boring.

A normal conversation feels boring.

Your life didn't necessarily become boring.

Your stimulation threshold changed.

I'm going to use the phrase cheap dopamine throughout this episode even though scientifically dopamine itself isn't cheap or expensive.

What I mean is:

A high-reward experience requiring very little effort.

Things like:

• Endless short-form videos

• Constant social media refreshing

• Notifications

• Online shopping

• Gambling

• Highly processed foods

• Video games for hours and hours

• Constant snacking

• Drinking

• Continually checking texts

• Refreshing email

• Internet rabbit holes

• Watching episode after episode after episode

• Constant novelty

And here's the key…

None of those things has to be inherently evil.

It's the dose.

The frequency.

And whether you've lost control over your consumption.

There's a massive difference between choosing to watch a movie on Saturday night…

And being literally unable to stand in an elevator for 25 seconds without checking your phone.

That's the part I want us to notice.

This might be one of the biggest problems.

Almost everything used to have some friction.

You wanted food?

You cooked it.

You wanted entertainment?

You waited until your show came on.

You wanted to talk to your friend?

You called them.

Maybe they weren't home.

You wanted to buy something?

You drove somewhere.

You wanted information?

You found a book.

Now?

Everything is immediate.

Food.

Entertainment.

Shopping.

Attention.

Validation.

Communication.

Information.

Novelty.

Almost every human desire has an app attached to it.

And our brains evolved in an environment where rewards generally required work.

Now we can receive reward after reward while lying horizontally on the couch.

That is a massive mismatch.

One of my favorite explanations comes from Dr. Anna Lembke.

She describes pleasure and pain almost like opposite sides of a balance.

When we repeatedly push hard toward pleasure…

Our brain tries to restore balance.

And over time, you may need more of the stimulus just to experience the same effect.

This is incredibly obvious with severe addiction.

But I think it's useful to recognize much milder versions in ourselves.

Have you ever:

Opened Instagram for five minutes and 45 minutes disappeared?

Finished a show and immediately needed another episode?

Finished dessert and started looking for something else sweet?

Checked one notification and then somehow checked four different apps?

Picked up your phone without consciously deciding to?

That automatic reaching is important.

You aren't necessarily choosing anymore.

You're responding.

And I want us to get back into choosing.

Sometimes people say:

"I'm unmotivated."

"I don't feel like working."

"I can't concentrate."

"I'm bored."

"I don't really feel excited about anything."

Obviously there can be many medical, psychological and situational reasons for those feelings.

But there is another question worth asking:

How much stimulation are you consuming?

Because if you're exposing yourself to novelty constantly…

Your brain never gets a chance to be bored enough to create.

Never bored enough to think.

Never bored enough to solve a problem.

Never bored enough to decide what you actually want.

We're treating boredom like an emergency.

I actually think boredom is incredibly productive.

Some of my best ideas happen when there's nothing else coming into my brain.

And we are filling every single empty pocket.

Huberman talks about something that I think is fascinating: stacking multiple dopamine-producing experiences together.

Think about a workout.

Exercise itself can be rewarding.

But now we add:

Pre-workout.

Favorite playlist.

Phone.

Texts.

Social media.

Energy drink.

Maybe stimulants.

Maybe a reward meal afterward.

Maybe we post the workout and check responses.

We've taken one intrinsically rewarding activity and stacked reward upon reward upon reward.

And his point isn't that you can never do those things.

It's that you don't necessarily want every good experience in life turned up to 100 every single time.

Sometimes train without the perfect playlist.

Sometimes walk without the podcast.

Sometimes drink the coffee without simultaneously scrolling Instagram.

Sometimes eat without watching television.

Separate the rewards.

You don't have to eliminate pleasure.

Stop supercharging every experience.

This might be my favorite part of the entire episode.

We need to stop making the reward exclusively something that comes AFTER the work.

"I'll work out and then I can have this."

"I'll finish this project and then I'll reward myself."

"I'll complete my work and then I'll scroll."

There's nothing wrong with celebrating accomplishments.

But we also want to train ourselves to associate the effort itself with something positive.

Because if the entire purpose of doing something difficult is the reward waiting at the end…

The work becomes something you're trying to escape.

Instead:

"This discomfort means I'm getting stronger."

"This is hard because I'm growing."

"I'm proud of myself for doing this when I don't feel like doing it."

"This is what keeping promises to myself feels like."

"This is who I am."

That shift is huge.

The workout becomes the win.

Doing the work becomes the win.

Keeping the promise becomes the win.

This theme comes up across a lot of these conversations.

We're living in an unbelievably comfortable world.

Temperature-controlled houses.

Food everywhere.

Cars.

Couches.

Entertainment.

Delivery.

Escalators.

Amazon.

Everything is optimized to eliminate friction.

But voluntary discomfort can be incredibly valuable.

Exercise.

Walking.

Strength training.

Running.

Sauna.

Cold exposure when appropriate and done safely.

Doing something physically difficult.

Getting outside when conditions aren't perfect.

Taking the stairs.

Having the difficult conversation.

Doing the work you're avoiding.

The idea isn't:

"Suffering is good."

The idea is:

Stop organizing your entire life around avoiding discomfort.

Because challenge followed by satisfaction is very different from pleasure followed by emptiness.

One you earned.

One you consumed.

We need both fun and hard things.

But modern life has heavily tilted us toward consumption.

Here's something I think would change a lot of people's lives.

Do not roll over and immediately hand your brain to your phone.

Because instantly you've got:

Texts.

News.

Instagram.

Email.

TikTok.

Other people's emergencies.

Other people's opinions.

Other people's lives.

Other people's accomplishments.

Other people's bodies.

Other people's vacations.

Other people's businesses.

Other people's problems.

Before you've even decided what YOU want your day to look like.

I would rather protect that first part of the morning.

Wake up.

Water.

Sunlight.

Walk.

Workout.

Journal.

Think.

Plan.

Work.

Whatever your routine is.

Just don't immediately flood your brain with novelty.

You should decide the direction of your day before an algorithm decides it for you.

Okay.

Here is what I would actually do.

Not some insane internet detox.

A realistic reset.

Ask yourself:

What do I compulsively reach for?

Not what does the internet tell me is bad.

What has control over ME?

Maybe yours is:

Instagram.

TikTok.

Shopping.

Sugar.

Video games.

News.

YouTube.

Email.

Texting.

Something else.

Identify the top one or two.

Don't try to become a monk overnight.

If something truly feels compulsive, consider taking a real period away from it rather than constantly trying to moderate it.

Try deleting it for a week.

Maybe two.

Maybe 30 days.

See what happens.

You might be shocked by how often your hand reaches for an app that isn't there.

That's valuable information.

This is a HUGE one.

We're bringing back empty space.

Stand in line.

Just stand there.

Drive five minutes.

No podcast.

Walk around the block.

No headphones.

Sit outside.

Do nothing.

Take a shower without content playing.

Cook dinner without a video.

You are retraining yourself to tolerate a lower level of stimulation.

And here's the funny thing…

After a while it doesn't feel low stimulation.

It feels peaceful.

Pick places where your phone does not belong.

Examples:

• Bedroom

• Dinner table

• Gym

• Family time

• Bathroom

• First hour of the morning

• Last hour before bed

Don't rely purely on willpower.

Change your environment.

Leave the phone somewhere else.

Make the bad habit inconvenient.

Notifications are someone else deciding when your attention moves.

Think about that.

Unless something legitimately requires immediate attention…

Turn it off.

Coffee + Instagram + television + food + texting?

No.

Pick one.

Workout + podcast + scrolling between sets + energy drink + Instagram?

Simplify it.

Let an experience stand alone.

Food can just be food.

Coffee can just be coffee.

A walk can just be a walk.

A conversation can just be a conversation.

This is the big replacement strategy.

You can't just remove things.

You need better things to move toward.

Exercise.

Building something.

Learning.

Working.

Creating.

Sports.

Relationships.

Adventure.

Goals.

Competition.

Skill.

Experiences.

Meaningful challenges.

Get obsessed with something difficult.

That is completely different than being addicted to consumption.

I love this rule.

Every day, intentionally do something that you'd rather avoid.

Workout hard.

Make the phone call.

Send the proposal.

Clean the closet.

Have the conversation.

Finish the project.

Run the hill.

Get into the cold water if that's safe for you.

Walk when you'd rather sit.

Do the thing you've been procrastinating.

You start creating evidence:

"I don't have to feel like doing something in order to do it."

That is power.

Your brain isn't operating independently of your body.

If you're chronically sleep-deprived, everything becomes harder.

Motivation.

Impulse control.

Training.

Food choices.

Emotional regulation.

Focus.

Peter Attia and Huberman both hammer sleep for a reason.

If we're trying to optimize our brain while sleeping five hours…

We're focusing on the wrong end of the problem.

Huberman talks frequently about getting outdoor light early in the day to anchor your circadian system.

I love pairing that with movement.

Outside.

Walk.

Light.

No Instagram.

Let your nervous system wake up naturally.

It's incredibly simple.

And simple things done repeatedly tend to beat complicated hacks.

Here is your challenge.

For the next 24 hours:

• No phone for the first 30 minutes after waking.

• No social media until you've completed something productive.

• Turn off unnecessary notifications.

• No phone while eating.

• Take one walk without headphones.

• Do one difficult thing you've been avoiding.

• No double-screening. If you're watching TV, you're not also scrolling.

• Put your phone outside your bedroom tonight.

• Let yourself experience boredom.

• Notice every time you instinctively reach for stimulation.

Don't judge yourself.

Observe yourself.

Because awareness is the beginning of changing anything.

Now let's level it up.

For seven days:

Reduce your biggest cheap-dopamine behavior dramatically.

You don't need to eliminate all pleasure.

In fact, please don't.

Go to dinner.

Laugh.

Drink your coffee.

Listen to music.

Hang with friends.

Enjoy your life.

This isn't punishment.

We're trying to reclaim our ability to enjoy NORMAL things.

That's the goal.

Less artificial stimulation.

More real life.

Before you reach for something, ask:

Am I choosing this, or am I escaping something?

That question can completely change things.

Why am I opening Instagram?

Because I intentionally decided to spend 15 minutes enjoying it?

Fine.

Or because this task got difficult?

Why am I eating this?

Because I'm hungry and I want it?

Fine.

Or because I'm uncomfortable?

Why am I drinking?

Because I'm celebrating with friends?

Or because I can't tolerate sitting with how I feel?

Why am I checking email for the 47th time?

Because I'm waiting for something important?

Or because working on the project in front of me is harder?

That pause between impulse and behavior…

That's where your power is.

This is the easiest way I can summarize the episode.

Consume.

Scroll.

Click.

Watch.

Refresh.

Snack.

Buy.

Escape.

Build.

Train.

Create.

Learn.

Connect.

Explore.

Compete.

Finish.

Accomplish.

The first category isn't evil.

But if the balance of your life is overwhelmingly consumption…

Don't be surprised when your motivation disappears.

Shift the ratio.

More creating.

Less consuming.

More doing.

Less watching.

More participating.

Less observing.

More real life.

Less digital life.

I think anticipation is disappearing.

When everything is immediately available…

There's nothing to look forward to.

And looking forward to something is part of the fun.

Plan the trip.

Wait for Friday night.

Save the amazing dessert for dinner.

Don't buy everything the second you want it.

Put the concert on the calendar.

Build toward the race.

Earn the reward.

Delay things intentionally sometimes.

The waiting isn't ruining the experience.

The waiting IS part of the experience.

This might be the line I want you to remember.

You should not need to be entertained every minute in order to enjoy your life.

Your kids shouldn't either.

We need boring car rides.

We need afternoons with nothing scheduled.

We need conversations without phones.

We need walks.

We need staring out the freaking window.

We need thinking.

We need daydreaming.

We need opportunities for our brains to say:

"Okay… what should we do?"

Creativity often appears after the stimulation disappears.

This is important.

We're not trying to crush dopamine.

We're not trying to become emotionless.

We're not trying to avoid things that make us feel amazing.

We're trying to protect our ability to feel amazing.

That's different.

We want the vacation to feel incredible.

The concert.

The accomplishment.

The amazing dinner.

The business win.

The race.

The adventure.

The hug.

The goal.

The experience.

We just don't need to manufacture an artificial mini-version of that feeling 800 times between breakfast and lunch.

Leave some room.

Let your baseline exist without constantly smashing the stimulation button.

Here's what I think is so interesting about all of this.

We have designed a world where almost everything that used to require effort can now be accessed instantly.

And that sounds like freedom.

But if we're not careful…

Convenience becomes dependence.

Entertainment becomes distraction.

Pleasure becomes compulsion.

And access becomes addiction.

The answer isn't to reject modern life.

I'm certainly not giving up my phone.

I'm not giving up coffee.

I'm not giving up Instagram.

I'm not giving up amazing food or concerts or trips or all the fun things.

I want MORE life.

That's actually the entire point.

I don't want to spend my life looking down at a screen getting tiny rewards when there are enormous rewards available by actually participating in life.

I want the dopamine from doing the workout I didn't want to do.

Building the business.

Taking the trip.

Making the memory.

Trying something new.

Getting really freaking good at something.

Having an amazing conversation.

Being completely present with my kids.

Creating something I'm proud of.

Doing something hard.

That's the dopamine I want more of.

And maybe the simplest takeaway from this whole episode is this:

Stop making pleasure so easy and effort so optional.

Let yourself work for things.

Let yourself wait for things.

Let yourself be bored.

Let yourself struggle.

Let yourself anticipate.

Let yourself earn some of the really good feelings.

Because when we stop trying to make every moment maximally stimulating…

Something really cool happens.

Normal life starts becoming awesome again.

And that is how to be awesome at resetting your dopamine.

My goal in this podcast is to completely change the way you feel about the word delusional.

Because most of the time, we use it as an insult… as if believing in something before you have proof means you're disconnected from reality.

But I think delusional can be one of the most powerful words there is when it means refusing to let your current circumstances dictate what you believe is possible for your future.

It means looking at your life as it is today and deciding that these are facts about today, not instructions for tomorrow. It means believing in the business before it works, walking like you're next before the room agrees, acting like the opportunity is coming before you can see it, and refusing to shrink your dream just because the results haven't caught up yet.

Because most people don't fail because they lack talent… they fail because they are too reasonable. They make decisions based on what they've done before, what feels safe, what other people think is realistic, and what their current life seems to prove is possible. Then they pray for a new life and move like the old one.

So today, I want to talk about what it actually means to be delusional on purpose: to believe bigger than the evidence, behave in a way that creates new evidence, stop inheriting other people's limitations, and stay in the game long enough for the life you imagined to actually happen.

BE DELUSIONAL ABOUT THE VISION. BE RUTHLESS ABOUT THE EXECUTION.

This is the distinction.

Being delusional does not mean sitting on the couch imagining a better life and expecting Amazon Prime to deliver it.

That's fantasy.

The kind of delusion I'm talking about is different.

Be completely unreasonable about what you believe is possible… and extremely practical about what you need to do today.

Maybe you want to be in phenomenal shape.

Great.

Be delusional enough to believe you can completely transform your body.

Then be incredibly non-delusional about what today requires.

Train.

Walk.

Eat enough protein.

Sleep.

Stop negotiating with yourself.

Maybe you want to build a huge business.

Be delusional about how big it can become.

Then be painfully realistic about what you need to do today.

Make the calls.

Film the videos.

Make the offer.

Study what isn't working.

Fix it.

Post again.

Follow up.

Get better.

That combination is so powerful.

Massive belief.

Grounded action.

YOU CAN'T PRAY FOR A NEW LIFE AND MOVE LIKE THE OLD ONE

They pray for a new life and then they move like the old one.

How often do we do this?

We say…

I want to get into the best shape of my life.

I want to make way more money.

I want to start the company.

I want to become an incredible parent.

I want to completely change my social circle.

I want an extraordinary marriage.

I want to write the book.

I want to launch the thing.

I want to travel.

I want to have freedom.

I want to wake up excited about my life.

Okay.

But then Monday morning comes…

And we operate exactly like we operated last Monday.

Same schedule.

Same habits.

Same distractions.

Same excuses.

Same amount of effort.

Same standards.

Same conversations.

Same people influencing us.

Same three hours disappearing into our phones.

And somehow we expect a radically different result.

It doesn't work that way.

At some point you have to decide…

If I want a life I've never had, I'm probably going to have to behave in ways I never have.

That is where being a little delusional becomes your superpower.

YOU CANNOT ACT OUTSIDE OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE

This is a huge part of all of this.

Your actions are limited by what you believe is possible.

If you don't believe you can do something… how are you going to consistently take the actions that would actually allow you to do it?

You probably won't.

If deep down you don't believe your business is going to work, that doubt will eventually show up in your behavior.

You won't do the outreach.

You won't post enough content.

You'll avoid the uncomfortable work.

You'll procrastinate on the thing you know matters.

You'll distract yourself.

You'll convince yourself you need another course, another plan, another month of preparation.

And then when it doesn't work, you get to say…

See? I knew it.

That's why your beliefs matter so much.

The achievement of your goals is largely dictated by your actions.

And your actions are heavily influenced by what you believe is possible.

So if you want a radically different outcome, part of the work is expanding what you believe you are capable of creating.

MOST PEOPLE ARE HANDING YOU THEIR OWN INSECURITIES

This is one of the most important things to understand if you want to do anything big with your life.

Most of the time when somebody tells you what isn't possible for you…

They aren't actually talking about you.

They're talking about themselves.

They are giving you the boundaries of their own imagination.

They're giving you their fears.

Their experiences.

Their disappointments.

Their risk tolerance.

Their insecurities.

Their definition of what is realistic.

And we absorb it like it's objective truth.

Someone says:

"That's really hard."

"You probably can't make money doing that."

"That industry is too saturated."

"You're getting a little obsessive."

"Do you really think you can do that?"

"What if it doesn't work?"

Okay.

But ask yourself…

Is this person qualified to tell me what is possible for my life?

Have they built the type of life I'm trying to build?

Have they taken the type of risks I'm trying to take?

Have they accomplished the thing they're warning me is impossible?

Because sometimes the advice isn't wisdom.

Sometimes it's fear wearing a very convincing outfit.

And you have to get really good at distinguishing between the two.

You can listen to smart feedback.

You should listen to facts.

You should change strategy when necessary.

But you do not have to inherit someone else's limitations.

STOP ASKING YOUR CURRENT LIFE FOR PERMISSION

One of the biggest mistakes we make is looking at our current circumstances for evidence that our future dream is possible.

Of course the evidence might not be there yet.

You haven't built it yet!

Imagine somebody starting a business and saying…

"Well, I'm only making $5,000 a month right now, so it would be pretty delusional to think I could make $100,000 a month."

Yes!

Exactly!

Be delusional.

Because every person making $100,000 a month once had a month where they made zero.

Every person who is incredibly fit once had a first workout.

Every person with a massive audience once posted something that six people saw.

Every amazing relationship had a first conversation.

Every expert was once completely new.

Your beginning does not get to vote on your ending.

We keep wanting proof before belief.

But most extraordinary things happen in the opposite order.

You believe.

Then you behave differently because of that belief.

Then the evidence starts showing up.

BORROW EVIDENCE UNTIL YOU HAVE YOUR OWN

Here's a practical way to strengthen your belief.

Look for people who have already done the thing you want to do.

Not so you can compare yourself to them.

So you can give your brain evidence.

Someone built the company.

Someone transformed their body.

Someone started over at 45.

Someone built an audience from nothing.

Someone came back from failure.

Someone learned the skill.

Someone figured out how to make the money.

Someone changed their entire life.

They aren't made from different materials than you.

They may have different advantages, different circumstances, different timing and different talents.

But their existence proves that the category of outcome is possible.

Use that.

Study people ahead of you.

Learn what they did.

Stack evidence.

Follow your plan.

Adjust when necessary.

And keep moving.

You don't have to blindly tell yourself something is possible.

You can go collect proof that it is.

GET RID OF THE "JUST IN CASE" ENERGY

This was another part that really hit me.

We want the blessing…

But we keep a just-in-case plan.

And I don't mean that you should make irresponsible financial decisions or abandon basic common sense.

I mean emotionally.

We say we believe in something…

But we leave ourselves 900 exits.

We don't fully commit.

We keep one foot in the old identity.

We keep telling everybody, "Well, if it doesn't work…"

Why are we spending so much energy rehearsing the failure?

What would happen if you spent that energy preparing for success?

What would you need if this actually worked?

Who would you need to become?

What systems would need to be in place?

What skills would you need?

What help would you need?

What would your days look like?

That's a much more useful conversation.

MAKE YOUR FUTURE SELF THE MAIN CHARACTER

Main-character energy gets made fun of online, but there's something really useful buried inside of it.

Stop acting like a supporting character in your own life.

Stop letting everybody else's schedules, preferences, opinions and expectations determine your entire existence.

You get one life.

This is it.

And sometimes we behave as if we're waiting for someone to come tell us what we're allowed to do with it.

You are allowed to change careers.

You are allowed to reinvent yourself.

You are allowed to stop liking things you used to like.

You are allowed to want more.

You are allowed to become wildly disciplined.

You are allowed to make new friends.

You are allowed to build a different routine.

You are allowed to start over.

You are allowed to decide that the person you have been is not the person you are going to continue being.

YOUR PAST IS INFORMATION, NOT A PROPHECY

Maybe you've failed before.

Okay.

That is information.

Maybe you've quit things before.

Information.

Maybe your business didn't work the first time.

Information.

Maybe you've lost weight and gained it back.

Information.

Maybe you've chosen the wrong relationships.

Information.

Maybe you've spent years not being disciplined.

Information.

But none of that is prophecy.

We have this weird tendency to make past behavior part of our identity.

"I'm just not consistent."

"I've never been good with money."

"I always quit."

"I'm not athletic."

"I'm shy."

"I'm not a morning person."

"I'm bad at business."

Be careful.

Because you will defend an identity even when that identity is making you miserable.

You can choose a new one.

THE TWO THINGS I THINK YOU NEED MOST: BELIEF AND REFUSAL TO QUIT

When you strip this whole episode down, I think it comes down to two things.

Believe that you can create the outcome.

And refuse to quit on yourself.

That doesn't mean believing every strategy will work.

It doesn't mean believing everything will happen exactly when you want it to.

It means believing:

I will find a way.

That is different.

Maybe Plan A fails.

Okay.

Try Plan B.

Maybe that fails too.

Learn something.

Try again.

Maybe the timeline changes.

Maybe your original idea evolves.

Maybe you realize you need new skills.

None of those things mean the dream is dead.

The person who keeps adapting has an enormous advantage over the person who needs everything to go right the first time.

THE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF

Here is the question I want you thinking about after this episode:

If I were completely delusional about what was possible for my life, what would I go after?

And then the second question:

What would I do today if I genuinely believed I could figure it out?

Those two questions together are magic.

Because the first one expands the vision.

The second one forces behavior.

Maybe you would launch it.

Maybe you would finally apply.

Maybe you would completely change your routine.

Maybe you would hire help.

Maybe you would leave something that hasn't been working.

Maybe you would train for something huge.

Maybe you would post the content.

Maybe you would make the call.

Maybe you would finally stop playing small because you're worried someone is going to think you think too highly of yourself.

Who cares?

Think highly of yourself.

Believe you can do extraordinary things.

You're going to need that belief when it gets hard.

BUILD EVIDENCE FOR YOUR DELUSION

At first, it feels delusional.

Then you start taking action.

And every action becomes evidence.

You said you were becoming disciplined and then you got up and trained.

Evidence.

You said you were building the company and then you made 20 sales calls.

Evidence.

You said you were becoming a creator and then you published for 30 days.

Evidence.

You said you were changing your health and then you kept promises to yourself for three months.

Evidence.

Eventually the thing everyone called delusional becomes obvious.

And people forget that there was a period when nobody could see it except you.

That's how almost every big thing starts.

Be unreasonable about the vision. Be disciplined about the execution.

Believe you can figure it out.

And don't quit.

1. TURN YOUR REFRIGERATOR INTO A PERSONAL CHEF

Take a picture of what you have and say:

"I want a high-protein dinner using these ingredients. Under 30 minutes, at least 40 grams of protein, no seed oils, kid-friendly, and minimal dishes."

Now AI isn't giving you a random recipe.

It's solving your actual dinner problem.

1. USE BOOKS FOR EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED

Instead of just asking for a book summary, make it relevant to your life.

"Teach me the parenting principles from Good Inside using examples with an eight-year-old."

"Explain the identity-based habits concept from Atomic Habits and tell me how to use it for my current goal."

You can learn exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

1. USE AI AS YOUR TRAVEL CONCIERGE

Give it your destination, hotel, kids' ages, budget, preferences, and schedule.

Then ask it to:

• Build the itinerary

• Avoid tourist traps

• Find great restaurants

• Plan rainy-day backups

• Organize everything geographically

• Tell you what to pack

• Compare hotel options

• Decide whether upgrades are worth it

It can save hours of research.

1. TREAT IT LIKE A PERSONAL ASSISTANT

If something has been sitting on your list because it requires research or decision-making… hand it over.

"I'm comparing these three gyms."

"I need a new mattress."

"I'm choosing between schools."

"I need the perfect birthday gift."

Tell AI your priorities and let it compare the options.

Don't just ask:

"Answer this question."

Ask:

"Help me solve this entire problem."

1. HIRE YOURSELF A PERSONAL TRAINER

Say:

"Act as my personal trainer. Ask me everything you need before building my program."

Give it your goals, schedule, equipment, injuries, current fitness level, and nutrition goals.

Then let it create a plan around your actual life.

And when life changes:

"I only have 25 minutes today. Modify my workout."

1. LET AI ORGANIZE YOUR HOUSE

Take a picture of your pantry, closet, garage, or playroom.

Then ask:

"Pretend you're a professional organizer. Tell me what to donate, relocate, buy, and exactly what order to tackle this in."

This is especially helpful when you feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

1. USE AI AS A THINKING PARTNER

Sometimes you don't need more information.

You need perspective.

Dump the entire situation into ChatGPT.

Then ask:

"What am I not seeing?"

"What pattern do you notice?"

"If you were incredibly direct with me, what would you tell me?"

Sometimes getting everything out of your head and organized is enough to create clarity.

1. BUILD YOUR DREAM LIFE BACKWARDS

Describe your current life.

Then describe the life you want.

Example:

"I'm overwhelmed, my house is cluttered, I don't have enough energy, and I always feel behind."

Versus:

"My home feels calm, I feel strong, I'm organized, I have financial confidence, and my days feel intentional."

Then ask:

"Build me the smallest daily and weekly habits that would move me from Version A to Version B."

Now AI becomes a life-design tool.

1. CREATE A DEFAULT HEALTHY DAY

Stop making 100 tiny decisions every day.

Give AI your schedule and priorities.

"I wake up at 5:30, kids leave at 7:45, I work from 8 to 1, I want 10,000 steps, 130 grams of protein, a workout, time outside, and bed by 9:30. Build me the most efficient version of my day."

Now you have a default operating system instead of reinventing your schedule every morning.

1. AUDIT YOUR TIME + MONEY

Give AI your spending and say:

"I want to free up $2,000 a month without dramatically changing our lifestyle. Show me where you would find it."

Give AI your weekly calendar and say:

"My priorities are health, family, income-producing work, and margin. Tell me what should be eliminated, delegated, batched, or moved."

Sometimes the problem isn't that you need more time or money.

You need to use what you already have better.

THE BIG IDEA

The people getting the best results from AI aren't necessarily asking better questions.

They're giving better context.

Don't ask:

"What's a healthy dinner?"

Ask:

"I have 25 minutes, two hungry kids, chicken, broccoli, sweet potatoes, and Greek yogurt. I want something high-protein, kid-friendly, no seed oils, and minimal cleanup."

The better you brief AI…

The better it performs.

** Last thoughts **

Imagine carrying around a world-class assistant everywhere you go.

Someone who can organize, research, teach, plan, compare, coach, and help you think through almost anything.

The goal isn't to think less.

The goal is to spend less time stuck.

Less time overwhelmed.

Less time researching.

And more time executing, creating, taking care of yourself, being with your people, and actually living your life.

The next time you think:

"I need to figure this out…"

Try asking:

"How could AI help me figure this out faster?"

I think a lot about how I can best show up and be there for my people. My family and closest friends… my inner circle. I want to be very intentional about how I support them. I realized something recently that I hadn't pin pointed in this way before. And one of the greatest gifts you can give them isn't advice… It isn't solving all of their problems… It's belief. I think that's what every single person is really looking for. Someone who believes in them. Someone who's in their corner. Someone who genuinely wants to see them win. Today we are talking about believing in your people sometimes even more than they believe in themselves. I honestly think that's what so many people are longing for. To know someone sees something in them they can't quite see yet. Sometimes people just need to borrow someone else's belief until they build their own confidence. It looks like this… someone you love says "I have a huge presentation tomorrow." Instead of… "Oh man… that's stressful." Smile and say… "Good thing you're one of the best presenters I know." It's belief in what they are doing and what they care about. By shifting our responses to belief statements, I think we can completely change how people feel after spending time with us. This is the reframe… when you're in a situation with someone you love and you're responding to what they have doing on or what they told you about… tell yourself… how can I show how much I believe in them? I think 99% of the time that's what they actually need and want to hear. Let's look at some examples. **Starting a business They say: "I've been thinking about starting my own business." Standard response: "Just be careful… most businesses fail." Your belief statement: "If anyone can figure this out, it's you. I know it will work because you don't stop until things do." **Child Before A Big Game They say: "I'm nervous about my game." Standard response: "Don't be nervous." Your belief statement: "Good thing you're the kind of person who plays their best when it matters. I can't wait to watch you." **Tough Day At Work They say: "I don't know if I'm doing a good job." Standard response: "I'm sure you're fine." Your belief statement: "I've watched you solve harder problems than this. I have complete confidence that you'll figure this out too." **Trying Something New They say: "I've never done anything like this before." Standard response: "Well… just try your best." Your belief statement: "Every expert was once doing something for the first time. I think you're going to surprise yourself." **Your Spouse Feeling Overwhelmed They say: "I don't know how I'm going to get everything done." Standard response: "Yeah… you've got a lot on your plate." Your belief statement: "I know it feels like a lot, but you're one of the most capable people I know. And we're a team—we'll figure it out together." Let's lean into these 4 types of belief statements 1. Believe in their ability "You've got this." "You're ready." "I trust you." "You can handle this." "You're really good at this." 2. Believe in their character "You're incredibly resilient." "You're wiser than you think." "You're a great leader." "You're one of the kindest people I know." "You're built for hard things." 3. Believe in their future "I can't wait to see what you do." "You're just getting started." "This is going to be part of your success story." "Your future is bright." "Big things are ahead." 4. Believe in them when they can't "I'll believe in you until you believe in yourself." "I see something special in you." "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes." "Don't count yourself out." "I haven't lost confidence in you for one second." Imagine if the people in your life consistently heard responses like these. Imagine how your spouse would walk into work. How your kids would walk into school. How your friends would chase bigger dreams. How much more courage they would have simply because they know there's someone in their corner who believes in them. You can't control every outcome for the people you love. But you can control what they hear from you. And maybe the greatest gift you can give someone isn't having all the answers… Maybe it's helping them believe they already have what it takes. The reframe… Before you respond to someone… Pause for just one second and ask yourself: "What response would make this person feel more capable?" Not more dependent. Not just more comfortable. More capable. Then respond from that place. Because the best supporters don't just make people feel better. They make people become better. And maybe that's one of the greatest gifts we can ever give the people we love.

The speed at which you recover from life's setbacks has a bigger impact on your future than almost anything else.

Examples … Someone says something super rude.

Or you get disappointing news.

Or you make a big mistake you're so bummed about.

The event lasts a few minutes... but for so many people, the emotional impact lasts for days or longer!

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and I think one of the greatest skills you can develop isn't avoiding difficult moments...

It's learning how to recover from them faster.

Imagine two people.

The exact same upsetting thing happens to both of them.

Person A needs seven days to recover.

Person B needs seven minutes.

Now imagine that happens hundreds of times over the course of a lifetime.

Who builds the better life?

Today we're talking about one of the most valuable life skills you can develop...

How To Be Awesome At Resetting Fast.

Because you can't always control what happens to you...

But you can absolutely control how long you let it affect you.

Alex Hormozi talks often about speed.

Speed of decisions.

Speed of learning.

Speed of action.

But one thing he demonstrates over and over is speed of recovery.

He doesn't pretend successful people avoid problems.

He believes they simply spend less time emotionally attached to them.

Ask yourself:

How long do I stay upset?

10 minutes?

10 hours?

10 days?

The longer recovery takes...

the more expensive every setback becomes.

Great performers compress recovery time.

Successful people don't rely on motivation.

They have reset systems.

Examples:

"I had a bad meeting."

→ Walk outside.

"I argued with someone."

→ Journal.

"I skipped my workout."

→ Schedule tomorrow before bed.

"I feel overwhelmed."

→ Brain dump.

The faster your ritual...

the faster your recovery.

Mark Manson talks about identity being built through repeated behaviors rather than dramatic declarations. Environment and consistent actions matter more than forcing yourself through shame.

One bad decision doesn't erase years of good ones.

One great workout doesn't make you healthy.

It's averages.

The stock market doesn't go straight up.

Neither do you.

Alex Hormozi says something along these lines all the time:

You don't become exceptional by avoiding hard things.

You become exceptional because hard things stop surprising you.

Your response becomes automatic.

Problem?

Solve.

Mistake?

Adjust.

Failure?

Learn.

Move.

No drama.

Just data.

Imagine two people.

Both make 200 mistakes this year.

Person A

Needs seven days to recover.

Person B

Needs seven minutes.

Who wins?

Not because they're smarter.

Not because they're more talented.

Simply because they spend dramatically more days moving forward.

That difference compounds over years.

For the next 30 days...

Stop trying to be perfect.

Instead...

Become obsessed with shortening your reset time.

Miss your workout?

Reset tomorrow.

Bad conversation?

Don't carry it into the evening.

Eat poorly?

Next meal.

Made a bad decision?

Learn.

Adjust.

Move.

Your goal isn't to eliminate mistakes.

It's to become someone who never stays down for very long.

Because life will keep knocking you off course.

The people who build extraordinary lives aren't the ones who never fall...

They're the ones who become world-class at getting back up.

If you remember one thing from today's episode, let it be this:

One bad moment should never become a bad day.

One bad day should never become a bad week.

One bad week should never become a bad year.

Your greatest superpower isn't avoiding setbacks...

It's refusing to live there.

Reset.

Refocus.

Take the very next right step.

That's how extraordinary lives are built... one fast reset at a time.

How often do you find yourself rushing… even when nothing is actually wrong?

You're hurrying your kids to get in the car.

Speed-walking through the grocery store.

Eating lunch while answering emails.

Counting down to Friday.

Thinking, "I just need to get through today."

Somewhere along the way, I think we've started treating ordinary life like it's an emergency.

I started saying these 5 words to myself...

"This is not an emergency."

Today we're going to talk about how to stop living like every single thing is on fire...

...because it isn't.

And when you start reminding yourself that this isn't an emergency...

you don't just become calmer… you become happier overall.

Think about how many times today you probably said...

"Hurry."

"We're late."

"Come on."

"We don't have time."

"Let's go."

Most of us are moving at emergency speed...

...without an emergency.

Ask yourself...

If someone watched security camera footage of my life...

would they think I was constantly responding to disasters?

Or just making breakfast?

Because sometimes they look exactly the same.

Instead of...

"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

Imagine saying internally...

"This isn't an emergency."

Will they still get dressed?

Yes.

Will yelling make it faster?

Usually not.

But it definitely changes everyone's morning.

We immediately grab our phones.

Complain.

Get frustrated.

Instead...

"This isn't an emergency."

Maybe it's two extra minutes.

Maybe this becomes your breathing break.

Somebody cuts you off.

You're late.

Heart rate skyrockets.

Except...

You arriving thirty seconds sooner changes almost nothing.

People rush aisle to aisle.

Barely noticing anyone.

Never smiling.

Never enjoying choosing food they'll feed their family.

Life becomes one giant checklist.

Instead of...

"I have to get this done."

Try...

"I GET to create a home my family enjoys."

Same task.

Different experience.

Jay Shetty often talks about mindfulness inside ordinary moments.

Laundry isn't stealing your life.

Laundry IS your life.

These ordinary moments ARE your life.

This one is huge.

People spend decades saying...

"I can't wait until..."

The baby sleeps through the night.

They're potty trained.

They're in kindergarten.

Middle school.

High school.

College.

Retirement.

Vacation.

Friday.

Summer.

The remodel is finished.

When we finally move.

When the house is clean.

When I lose twenty pounds.

Jay Shetty talks often about how our minds live in the future...

and miss the only place life actually exists.

Today.

This might be the chapter you'll miss someday.

The noisy dinner table.

Little baseball cleats by the door.

Teenagers asking for rides.

Kids needing hugs.

Messy kitchens.

Dog hair everywhere.

The chaos...

might actually be the dream.

One thing I've noticed...

When we're rushing...

our brain becomes a problem detector.

Traffic.

Mess.

Noise.

Delays.

People moving too slowly.

Bad service.

Rain.

We're constantly scanning for irritation.

Instead...

What if we asked...

What's beautiful about this moment?

What would I miss if this disappeared tomorrow?

If you're looking for inconvenience...

you'll always find it.

If you're looking for joy...

you'll find that too.

This is something both Mel Robbins and Jay Shetty return to in different ways: attention shapes experience. You don't control every circumstance, but you do have influence over where your mind rests.

Instead of...

"I just need bedtime."

Think...

"This little voice asking for one more story won't last forever."

Instead of...

"I can't wait until they're independent."

Think...

"One day they'll stop needing me this much."

Instead of rushing meeting to meeting...

Take thirty seconds.

Breathe.

Drink your coffee while it's hot.

Look out the window.

Nothing explodes.

Everything feels urgent.

Every email.

Every customer.

Every notification.

Every opportunity.

But if we're honest...

very few business decisions require panic.

Good businesses are built through consistent decisions...

not frantic ones.

Whenever you feel yourself speeding up...

Ask:

Is someone in danger?

Is this actually urgent?

Will this matter next week?

Can I slow my breathing?

Can I speak softer?

Can I smile?

Can I enjoy this?

Can I choose peace instead?

Whenever I notice myself getting worked up...

I literally say...

"This is not an emergency."

Sometimes out loud.

Immediately...

My shoulders drop.

My breathing slows.

My voice softens.

I become a better mom.

A better wife.

A better friend.

A better business owner.

Not because my circumstances changed...

but because my nervous system changed.

Waiting for your coffee.

Watching your child tie their shoes.

Cooking dinner.

Folding towels.

Driving to volleyball practice.

Standing in line at Disneyland.

Watching Little League warmups.

Listening to your teenager tell a story that takes forever.

Walking your dog.

Sunsets.

Rainstorms.

Family dinners.

These moments don't need to be escaped.

They're the moments we're going to remember.

This week...

Every single time you notice yourself rushing...

Pause.

Take one deep breath.

And simply say...

"This isn't an emergency."

Then intentionally slow down by just 10%.

Walk slower.

Talk slower.

Eat slower.

Drive calmer.

Listen longer.

Smile more.

You might be surprised how much life you discover in those extra few seconds.

Life isn't usually asking us to move faster.

It's asking us to be more present.

The irony is that we spend so much of life racing toward the future...

that we barely experience the life we're actually living.

So this week...

Give yourself one simple reminder.

"This is not an emergency."

Because most of the time...

it isn't.

And when you stop treating ordinary moments like crises...

those ordinary moments become extraordinary.

I hope this episode helps you slow down & enjoy the beautiful life you're already living.

Feeling great isn't about chasing the next health trend.

It's about mastering the fundamentals.

It's about building a lifestyle where healthy choices become your normal.

Because what you do every day will always matter more than what you do once in a while.

I've been studying experts for years and despite coming from different backgrounds, they all point to the same idea...

The healthiest people don't just make healthy choices... they've built lives where those choices have become automatic.

Today, we're talking about the daily habits that help you feel better, think clearer, have more energy, and become the healthiest version of yourself.

Health isn't one habit.

It's an ecosystem.

When you improve one area, every other area gets easier.

Sleep makes workouts easier.

Workouts improve mood.

Better mood improves relationships.

Better relationships reduce stress.

Less stress improves sleep.

It becomes a positive upward spiral.

Your body needs to know it's daytime.

Morning sunlight helps:

• Circadian rhythm • Better sleep that night • More stable cortisol • Better energy • Better mood • Hormone production

Go outside.

No sunglasses.

Even 5–10 minutes can help.

Not because you're trying to lose weight.

Because humans are designed to move.

Walking is one of the most underrated longevity tools.

Ideas:

• 10,000+ steps • Walking meetings • Walking phone calls • Family walks after dinner

Movement isn't punishment.

It's medicine.

Muscle equals health.

Benefits:

• Blood sugar control • Longevity • Confidence • Bone density • Hormones • Energy

Especially for women after 35.

Choose foods with minimal processing.

• Protein first • Fruit • Quality dairy if tolerated • Eggs • Meat • Seafood • Vegetables • Healthy fats

Less:

• Packaged food • Sugary drinks • Ultra-processed snacks

Water is important. With electrolytes is even better.

• Sleep

• Learning

• Hobbies • Gratitude • Nature • Social connection • Limiting endless scrolling • Managing stress • Breathwork • Purpose

What are you feeding your brain every day?

Good relationships.

Family dinners.

Friendships.

Community.

Belonging.

Health isn't just physical.

Most adults accidentally quit playing.

• Golf • Painting • Surfing • Gardening • Reading • Baseball • Cooking

Adults need play too.

Modern life trains us for:

• DoorDash • Amazon • TikTok • Constant dopamine

But confidence comes from keeping promises to yourself.

Examples:

"I'll work out before I eat."

"I'll finish my work before Netflix."

"I'll read before social media."

Don't rely on motivation.

Design your house.

Ideas:

Healthy snacks visible.

Weights in the garage.

Walking shoes by the door.

Water bottle everywhere.

Phone charger outside the bedroom.

Sunlight first thing.

Make healthy easier than unhealthy.

The greatest inheritance isn't money.

It's health habits.

Imagine raising kids who simply believe:

• We move. • We eat protein. • We go outside. • We don't complain about exercise. • We eat dinner together. • We get enough sleep. • We speak kindly to ourselves.

Every day I try to hit these:

☐ Morning sunlight

☐ Walk

☐ Lift weights

☐ Eat plenty of protein

☐ Fruit

☐ Hydrate

☐ Spend time outside

☐ Read

☐ Family meal

☐ Gratitude

☐ Quality sleep

☐ Laugh

☐ Move again after dinner

The goal isn't perfection.

It's becoming the kind of person who naturally takes care of themselves.

You don't need 100 new habits.

You probably need 10 simple ones that you repeat for the next 20 years.

Because when you feel better...

You think better.

You parent better.

You lead better.

You love better.

And that's really what being awesome is all about.